


Never Again

by tiggerblu



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2020-10-17 16:57:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 161,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20624423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiggerblu/pseuds/tiggerblu
Summary: After the second breakup, after the duet at a house party for Rachel, Blaine and Kurt kiss. What happens when instead of getting back together, for now Blaine moves on? Can Blaine ever learn to trust Kurt again especially after a devastating loss?  Can Kurt be there to help pick up the pieces, help mend a broken heart, be Blaine’s best friend again?  **I don't own glee**Eventual Klaine, Daddy Blaine





	1. The Cheat

**Author's Note:**

> This story starts right after Kurt and Blaine sing their duet at Rachel Berry’s house party. I Don't Own Glee, or any of the songs that may be in my story. I hope you enjoy this. Reviews are always appreciated.

oOoOo

It came so easy that kiss. A repeat of something he had done hundreds of times for three almost four years. But tonight, Blaine had cheated for the second time in his life, the first time on Kurt, the second time with Kurt. It had felt so perfect, so easy, Kurt was there, closer than he had been in a long time, Blaine felt that old connection, that old draw to be with him, to kiss him, to hold him, and to be loved by him again.

They had just sung their duet, something they had done a thousand times before when they were a couple. But they weren’t a couple anymore, they weren’t boyfriends, because Kurt had decided to end things, to end “_them_,” and in the process once again almost end Blaine.

The duet had opened up so many feelings in Blaine, feelings he didn’t think he had any more. Watching Kurt at some points of the song singing directly to him, as he used to when they were still _a_ _them_, an _Us_, connected, when Blaine was loved or at least felt like he was, before out of the blue, without warning, on a rainy night in New York, Kurt decided it was over, that they weren’t working, no explanation, no conversation, just over.

Blaine had done the only thing he could do. He had gone home to lick his wounds with people who loved him, tried to find his center again, and to learn how to breathe. Dave had helped with that.

When Dave had first asked Blaine out, he had said no. How could he go out with someone that had hurt Kurt so badly, especially stealing his first kiss? Blaine finally realized he had to stop living his life based on what might hurt Kurt. He needed to learn to live it based on what might actually help him. And Dave had helped. Blaine had agreed to a date, and then another, it was so easy after a while. Dave was easy to talk to, he didn’t make Blaine feel like he needed to walk on eggshells the way he had felt with Kurt the whole time he lived with him in New York after they had gotten back together.

Blaine had always been afraid he would mess up at any given time with Kurt. He remembered he had tried to make part of the apartment his, his own place, so he didn’t feel like he was living in someone else’s space, which is how he had always felt living with Kurt. But it had caused a massive fight.

After that, Blaine had always been a little nervous, wondering what was coming next. Maybe he should have seen the first break up for what it was, a good thing, but at the time, he just saw it as heartbreak, a rejection from the one person he always thought he could trust.

With Dave, there had been none of that, he felt comfortable and cared about, he felt important again. After the kiss, Blaine had walked away from Kurt, walked to his car, and then drove around for hours, trying to figure out what to do next. He knew he had to tell Dave the truth. He owed him that much.

When Blaine got home, he saw that Dave was already in bed asleep, he quickly put on a pair of the lounge pants he always slept in, crawled under the covers with his back to Dave, silent tears running down his face. When he felt Dave roll over and cuddle behind him protectively wrapping his arm around his waist, Blaine cried harder.

He waited until he felt Dave relax and go back to sleep, before slowly crawling out of bed and going into the living room. He had always loved it when Dave cuddled behind him, it made him feel safe and loved. Blaine couldn’t lay there and let him do it though, offer that comfort he didn’t deserve because of the guilt he felt. Even though Blaine didn’t love Dave, he knew that Dave loved him, and that broke his heart.

Blaine was woken up with a soft kiss on his lips, and for a moment, he forgot and smiled at Dave. “What are you doing in here? Couldn’t you sleep?” he asked before leaning down and kissing Blaine again a little deeper.

“No, sorry I didn’t want to wake you up,” Blaine answered before sitting up, pulling away from Dave without making it look obvious. Wondering how to start a conversation, he never thought he would have to have again.

“Why don’t you go ahead and take your shower while I make us breakfast. We need to leave in about forty-five minutes,” Dave said before pulling Blaine into a quick hug and then walking towards the kitchen.

Blaine had forgotten that they were supposed to be going to Bowling Green for a football game. He quickly showered and got dressed, heading to the kitchen with a million thoughts running through his mind.

Blaine tried to act upbeat and happy over the weekend for Dave so he wouldn’t ruin his fun with his friends, but when they got back home, he knew he wasn’t successful.

“Blaine, what’s wrong? You have been off since Friday night, did something happen at the party?” Dave questioned

“Dave,” was all Blaine was able to get out

Dave sighed deep, “Man, I knew it, I could tell when I woke, and you weren’t in bed. I knew something was up.”

“I am so sorry. I really am, I never expected it to happen,” Blaine answered.

“Can I ask, did you kiss him, or did he kiss you?” Dave asked, and Blaine could tell with one look just how hurt Dave was.

Blaine just looked at him, not saying anything, knowing that no matter what he said, it wouldn’t make it any better, it had still happened.

“It’s ok, I knew you still loved him, and that I wouldn’t have you long the minute Kurt came back to Lima. It was like a ticking time bomb hanging over our heads. Times up,” Dave said with a sad smile.

“I am so sorry Dave,” Blaine said again, unable to say anything else.

“It’s ok, Blaine it really is. No hard feelings honestly,” Dave said, walking towards their bedroom, and he started packing a bag. “I think I am going to go spend some time with my parents. I’ll come back later and pack my things. I can’t see myself staying here anymore.” He quickly came back into the living room, pulled Blaine into one more hug before kissing him on the cheek and turning around and walking out the door.

Blaine sat on the couch and cried. He had just ruined something special and hurt someone who didn’t deserve it. After he had cheated on Kurt, Blaine had promised himself he would never do it again. He would never hurt someone that badly again, and then he had done it. Blaine started to think about what his next steps should be. He didn’t want to stay in Lima, but also didn’t want to go back to New York. He had managed to drop out of NYADA right before they decided to kick him out. After the breakup, he had gotten so depressed. His grades started slipping badly.

The night Kurt had broken up with him had been the worst night of his life. Blaine had just sat there hurt and confused before it slipped into anger. He had gotten up from the table and walked away. He had checked into the Strand Hotel. It was a little on the pricey side. Still, luckily, financially, he didn’t have to worry, emotionally, was a different story, he had just wanted to be somewhere safe and comfortable.

Between the trust funds both sets of his grandparents had set up for him, and also the ones his parents had set up when he was born, he technically would never have to work, but that wasn’t who Blaine was. He needed to be able to support himself. He, at some point, wanted to have a family, have children. How could he show his children responsibility if he didn’t work, and be responsible for himself?

Blaine had waited until the next morning to go back to the apartment to pack up his stuff. Glad that he didn’t really have a lot to deal with. After the fight, he and Kurt had had shortly after moving in, the only thing Blaine had there were his clothes, and the black and white copy of the picture Kurt had, had made his senior year.

Since that day, that picture had sat on his dresser or nightstand, even when they were broken up. He had always wanted Kurt’s face to be the first thing he saw in the morning and the last thing he saw at night. When he left the apartment that day for the last time, he left his key, and that picture behind. Blaine would no longer need either one of them.

After Dave left, Blaine had sat on the couch until he was cried out. He went into the bedroom, grabbed his dirty clothes, put them in the washer so he could get them ready to pack. Blaine quickly stripped the bed, changing the sheets for Dave, before remaking the bed. He wouldn’t be staying here, and since this had been Dave’s apartment when they started dating, then there was no reason for Dave to leave, Blaine would.

He pulled all his clothes out of the closet, and dresser packing everything into his suitcases, he went into the bathroom and packed his toiletries and shaving kit, and then put that in next. Once the dryer buzzed, letting him know that his clothes were dry, he quickly folded those, packed them, before closing the suitcase up and he was ready to leave, that was it.

Just like with Kurt, when he had moved in with Dave since his apartment was already set up, Blaine had just brought his clothes, not wanting to go through with Dave what had happened with Kurt. He was looking forward to getting his own place, wherever that might be that way, he could set everything up the way he wanted, without making someone mad.

Blaine was just grabbing his guitar case when he heard the doorbell. Walking over and opening the door, he was surprised to see Kurt standing there bent over and out of breath.

“Kurt, are you ok?” Blaine asked, concerned.

“No, I’m not ok, I messed up, and I lost the most important person in my life. I pushed you out, and I need to know that I have a chance of getting you back. I love you. I need you back in my life. Please say it’s not too late?” Kurt said after standing up straight

“I don’t know Kurt. I really don’t. Let’s go sit down a minute”.

Blaine led Kurt over to the couch and sat down, turning sideways, so he was facing him. “I still love you too, I really do, but when you did what you did, it hurt. There was no explanation for it at all. When you broke up with me the first time I understood, I caused that, that was on me, but this time there was no reason at all or none that you told me about anyway.”

“I know, and I owe you an apology for that. I can’t explain what happened, but as the wedding day came closer and closer, I think I panicked. When we got engaged, it seemed like this far off future thing, you know, but before I knew it, you were talking wedding venues and planning everything. I felt trapped. I’m sorry I know how that must sound, but that is how I felt,” Kurt said, trying to make Blaine understand.

“Kurt, why couldn’t you have just said that? Those arrangements weren’t written in stone. Nothing had been paid for. We could have put it off longer. I was under the impression you wanted the same thing I did, that you were ready. I would have preferred you to be honest about it, instead of just saying we needed to end things that we had a good run, but we should end it before we started hating each other. Do you have any idea how badly that hurt?” Blaine asked, trying to keep his voice from breaking. He had cried enough and refused to let Kurt see him cry now.

“I know, and I am so sorry. I realized what I had done the minute you walked away. I waited for you at home that night, thinking that we could talk it out, that I could fix what I had done, but you didn’t come home, and then the next day I came in from school, and everything was gone, you were gone. You wouldn’t return my calls or my texts, nothing.” Kurt said, feeling a tear run down his face.

Blaine hated seeing him cry, he had to fight the urge to reach out and hug him and say everything was going to be ok, but he couldn’t because he knew in his heart, it wouldn’t be.

“I couldn’t talk to you then. I couldn’t see you. I spent that night in a hotel, and then when I knew you would be in class, I went in and packed everything up,” Blaine said not looking at Kurt, knowing that if he did, he would fall back into their old ways, and he just couldn’t let that happen. Not again.

“So, where do we go from here? Can you forgive me for being stupid and insecure, I love you, and I want you back. I will fight to get you back. Please tell me I have a chance, that I didn’t screw this up that bad?” Kurt said, his voice breaking.

“As I said before when you broke up with me the first time, I understood that that was on me. I screwed up and lost your trust, but you took me back, Kurt. You forgave me. You agreed to marry me. For you to just end it the way you did was like saying I didn’t matter, _WE _didn’t matter. I almost wish we hadn’t gotten back together because that I would have understood, but this,” Blaine said, pointing between the two of them, “I can’t.”

“Can we try, can we at least just try? I can’t just let you walk away Blaine I can’t, I need you, ” Kurt said right before reaching out to Blaine and pulling him into a kiss.

Before he knows what he is doing, Blaine is kissing back, deepening the kiss, slipping his tongue into Kurt’s mouth, and loving the taste that was pure Kurt. Blaine slowly kissed his way up Kurt’s jaw to his ear, nibbling on the lobe, sucking it into his mouth, before working his way back down and attacked his lips again. Blaine pulled on Kurt’s shirt until he had it off, throwing it on the floor for once, not even worried about Kurt’s clothes. Blaine pushed Kurt down on the couch before ripping his own shirt off, needing the closeness, needing to feel Kurt under him again, needing to be inside him.

Blaine straddled Kurt’s hips and slowly started thrusting down. When he heard Kurt start to moan, and felt as his hips bucked up, Blaine started moving faster, pressing down harder, loving the friction of his hardness rubbing against Kurt’s. It had been so very long. Even though Blaine had lived with Dave, they had never had sex. Blaine hadn’t been ready to take that step yet. He hadn’t felt ready, but with Kurt, it was perfect, it was always perfect.

“I need you so bad right now, Kurt, god I need you,” Blaine whispered brokenly, kissing him deeply while reaching out to his suitcase that was right by the couch. He shuffled quickly through it until he found his toiletry bag, and pulls out a bottle of lube and a condom. Putting them both on the coffee table, Blaine stood up and pulled off his pants and boxers, his erection popping back onto his abdomen, hard and ready for Kurt. He reached out to Kurt, quickly removing his shoes and socks, undoing his pants, before quickly sliding both his pants and underwear down at the same time, needing Kurt naked, needing to feel Kurt’s skin connect with his. When he saw Kurt was as hard as he was, Blaine about lost it needing him more than ever. 

Once he got Kurt undressed, he knelt between his legs, and Kurt opened them up wider for him. Blaine leaned over, giving Kurt a long passionate kiss while reaching out to grab the lube. Opening the bottle, Blaine squirts some on his hand, making sure he completely coated his index finger before sliding it into Kurt’s tight hole. He starts moving his finger in and out while leaning down, placing a lingering kiss on Kurt’s lips. Once he feels Kurt’s body relax around his finger, drawing on his knowledge of Kurt’s body, from previous times they had made love, Blaine pulls his finger out squirts some more lube on his hand coating his middle finger and then slowly eases both into Kurt, once again moving them in and out to help loosen him up.

Once again, when Blaine felt Kurt’s muscles start to relax around him, he pulls his fingers out, adds more lube before slowing pushing in a third, watching Kurt for any sign of discomfort, signs that he was moving too fast. Blaine slowly started to move his fingers once again in and out, wanting to stretch Kurt as much as possible, trying to lessen the inevitable pain Blaine knew he would cause him. This had always been his favorite and least favorite part of making love with Kurt. Feeling him tight around him was amazing, but Blaine hated that he had to hurt him, even temporarily in the process. That part had always bothered him.

“Blaine now, please now. I need you inside me please,” Kurt begged his hips, pushing Blaine’s fingers in deeper. Blaine quickly pulled his fingers out and reached for the condom he had placed on the table. He quickly tears the wrapper open with his teeth and then rolls the condom down. Never taking his eyes off of Kurt, Blaine squirts lube on his hand and quickly runs it up and down his cock a few times to make sure he was slick enough. Blaine rubbed the excess lube across Kurt’s perfect hole, lines himself up, and then starts slowing pushing himself in, taking his time, not wanting to hurt Kurt or to rush this.

He gives Kurt a few minutes to adjust before moving further in. Once he was fully seated, with Kurt tight around him, and before he starts to move, Blaine reached between them and grasps Kurt’s cock in his hand, and starts moving it up and down. Even though Kurt still wants it, he had always gone a little soft from the pain of the initial penetration, no matter how slowly Blaine entered him. Once Kurt was hard again, Blaine starts moving in and out, thrusting his hips, arching up to make sure he hit Kurt’s prostate every time.

Kurt soon starts bucking his hips, pushing Blaine to move harder, faster, needing it. “Blaine,” Kurt moans, and Blaine can feel as Kurt’s muscles start to tighten around him. He always liked it right before Kurt came, because of the way his muscles always tightened around him. If Blaine wasn’t about to come himself, that usually tipped him over the edge.

Blaine quickly reached between them, grasping Kurt’s cock in his hand again, moving it up and down in perfect rhythm with his hips thrusting in and out of Kurt until he heard him scream his name, and then felt Kurt’s warm come on his hand. Blaine thrust harder, faster into Kurt, chasing his own release, and soon he was coming himself, head tilted back riding the wave of his orgasm. Blaine leaned down to kiss Kurt again, and that’s when it hits him what he had just done. Yes, the sex had been great, with Kurt it always was, but it shouldn’t have happened, Kurt had always had that effect on him.

Blaine slowly pulled out of Kurt, knowing how sensitive he usually was after sex. Blaine stood up and, without saying a word, walked towards the bathroom, pulling the condom off as he goes. He ties it off and throws it in the trash can, before reaching for a washcloth to clean himself off, shaking his head, still not believing he had just done that, and on Dave’s couch of all places. When he was clean, Blaine grabbed a washcloth for Kurt, wets it with warm water, and takes it to the living room and handed it to him. Every time before, after making love, Blaine had always cleaned Kurt off, he had always enjoyed doing it, loving the act of taking care of him. But this time, he just reached for his clothes, needing to get dressed.

Noticing that Kurt had sat up, and was now dressed, Blaine sat back down, laying his head on the back of the couch, and rubbing his hands over his eyes, how had he even allowed that to happen, that should never have happened, especially not here of all places.

“Blaine, are you ok?” He heard Kurt whisper.

“Not really Kurt, that should never have happened, we should not have done that, it was a mistake,” Blaine whispered, never meaning anything more.

“Was that payback for after Mr. Shue’s wedding, the way I acted?” Kurt asked, with tears running down his face.

Blaine just looked at him, shocked. “God, no Kurt, no, just sex wasn’t the answer, and even though Dave and I are no longer together, I should never have done that here. It was just wrong.We aren’t together Kurt, we broke up, we should have talked, but before I realized what I was doing, I was all over you, I have just missed you so much, and I needed you so badly. But that wasn’t a good enough reason. It just wasn’t.”

“So, you have missed me then” Kurt whispered

“Kurt, of course I’ve missed you. I love you, but once again, we should have been talking instead of having sex. I just lost my head,” Blaine continued. And yes, the sex had been great, with Kurt it always was, but it also made him realize that his feelings for him had changed.

Blaine loved him and always would, in that he had no doubt, but deep down, he knew he couldn’t really trust Kurt with his heart anymore. What if they got back together and he got nervous again, would he make Blaine leave, break up with him again, and break his heart. That made him realize that wasn’t a chance he was willing to take. For once, he had to take care of himself.

“So, can we talk now? Can we work on us to see where we go from here? See if we fix this, fix _us_ again?” Kurt asks, wiping the tears off of his face, for a moment feeling hopeful.

Blaine just turned around and looked at Kurt, really looked at him for the first time in a long time. Yes, this was the same man he had fallen in love with his sophomore year of high school, the man he would have done anything for, given anything to be with, would have happily spent the rest of his life with, but Blaine himself had changed, being hurt one too many times had changed him.

He wasn’t that same boy anymore, the one who sang teenage dreams to the most beautiful boy he had ever seen in his life. He wasn’t the same man who had proposed to the man of his dreams, the love of his life. He was the man who had had his heart shattered by the person he had loved and trusted the most in the world. He was the man who had then been thrown away like he was nothing. It was time to let go of the past and focus on the future. It was time to let go of Kurt and start taking care of Blaine.

“Kurt, I love you, and I have since I was sixteen years old. You were my world, my life. When you moved to New York, you changed. You pulled away from me. You made me feel like I was no longer part of your life. You had so much new stuff going on, you didn’t have time for the old, you didn’t have time for me. I am not trying to lay the blame on you here, but when I cheated on you, it was almost like you were glad. Like you got to let me go, and not have to feel guilty about it,” Blaine said, feeling like his heart would shatter all over again. He knew he needed to do this, that this was the best thing for him, but it didn’t make the pain any less painful.

“Blaine that isn’t true,” Kurt started

“Kurt, let me finish, _please_. I am just telling you how I felt. I was so happy when you forgave me when you took me back and agreed to marry me, but things didn’t go back to the way they were before you left Lima and moved to New York. I still always felt like you were pushing me away like you wanted me there and didn’t at the same time”.

“Then, there was this last breakup. I was blindsided, I was hurt, and to be honest, almost destroyed by it. Twice Kurt, twice out of the blue you pulled away from me, you left me just floating on my own, trying to figure out what I had done wrong.”

“I don’t think I can go through that again. This last time almost killed me. If my parents hadn’t been there for me, and yes, Dave, it probably would have. I just can’t go through that again. What happens the next time you get scared or nervous?” Blaine asked

“Blaine, that isn’t going to happen, I realized what I lost, I can’t be without you,” Kurt answered.

“Kurt, you can’t say it will never happen again. You can’t promise that, and I can’t live through that again, I just can’t. I think the best thing for both of us is to stay broken up, to move on, and to let go. We probably should have done that instead of getting back together after our first break up. We have both changed. We aren’t the same people we were when we first got together, and I don’t think we are what each other needs anymore.” Blaine said, feeling tears running down his face because even though he knows this was the best thing for him, it still hurt.

“Blaine, please, don’t do this” Kurt cried

“I’m sorry Kurt, I really am. This is something I never thought I would do. Who knows, maybe one day we can try again, but right now, I think we need to leave it the way it is. You broke up with me, pulled away from me both times for a reason. Maybe you need to work on the whys and the how comes, and maybe in the future, if it is something we both want, we can work on the how’s.” Blaine answered, trying to stay strong when all he really wanted to do is pull Kurt back into his arms and say yes.

Kurt slowly stood up, and Blaine stood up with him. “I’m so sorry Blaine, that I ever put you through any of it. I know I had a part in our first break up. You’re right, I did push you away, and the second breakup was all on me. I would do anything to fix this, to fix us. I’ll be here if you’re ever ready to come back to me. God is this how you felt when I did this to you. I love you Blaine,” Kurt said crying, before turning around and heading to the door. He stopped to look at Blaine one more time before opening it, walking out and gently closing it behind him. 

And like that, another chapter of Blaine’s life ended...


	2. Bring on the new

oOoOo

Blaine sat there after Kurt left, thinking about what he had done, saying goodbye, and realized once again he had done the right thing, made the right choice. He had to move on. He couldn’t keep putting himself in a position to get hurt again. He knew he wouldn’t survive it the next time.

Since Dave wouldn’t be back tonight, Blaine decided to spend one more night in the apartment, giving himself time to figure out where he needed to go, what he needed to do next.

Blaine went into the bathroom and grabbed the towels he and Dave had used the day before when they had showered, the washrags he and Kurt had used, along with the dirty sheets he had stripped off the bed and quickly threw them all in the washer. Blaine walked back into the bathroom and pulled the bag out of the trash can, and tied it up, not wanting to leave evidence of what he and Kurt had done for Dave to find. After replacing the trash bag, Blaine carried it and the trash from the kitchen down to the dumpster the apartment complex provided for their tenants then walked back to the apartment. Blaine sat down on the couch and really thought about his next move, where he should go, what he should do with his life.

He knew he needed to turn in a two-week notice with Dalton, feeling bad that he wouldn’t be there to see the boys compete. The Warblers really had a strong team this year. Blaine figured they would make it all the way. He unfortunately, couldn’t stay there to see it. With Kurt working at McKinley helping Rachel get the New Directions up and running, there was too much of a chance that they would keep running into each other.

When the washer finished, Blaine moved the clean clothes to the dryer and then went back and sat on the couch, deciding to sleep there tonight, not feeling right about sleeping in Dave’s bed again. Blaine feels like he had just fallen asleep when his phone alarm blares the next morning. Getting up, Blaine showers and gets ready for work and then quickly folds and puts away the sheets and towels. He looks around, making sure everything is in place, wanting to leave the apartment clean for Dave.

When he feels everything looks right, Blaine grabs his suitcases and guitar case and walks toward the door, stopping long enough to place his key and the note he had written Dave last night on the kitchen table. Blaine felt he needed to apologize once again for the way they had ended and to thank Dave for everything he had done for him. Blaine looked around really quick to make sure he had everything, and then locked the door, and walked out, shutting the door behind him for the last time.

After work, he checked into a motel so that he could work out his two-week notice with the Warblers. He knew he could have moved back in with his parents temporarily, but he didn’t want to do that. He had left their house originally an engaged man, and he had come back feeling more like a kid than he had in a long time. He just couldn’t see himself doing that again after his break up with Dave

Blaine thought about what he wanted to do during those two weeks, for once concentrating on himself, what he wanted and needed. He had never done that before. Blaine had always done what someone else wanted or expected him to do, his parents, his teachers, Kurt, and in a small part Dave. He had always tried to be what others had wanted him to be. Blaine was finally ready to be himself. He didn’t really know what that would be yet, but was ready to start.

Blaine finished up his two weeks at Dalton, told the Warblers goodbye, and then hopped a plane to California. He spent a week with his brother Cooper, enjoying their time together. Because of their age difference, they had never really been close, but in that week, they got to know and understand each other in a way they never had before. When Blaine was able to find himself an apartment to move into, he actually missed Cooper.

Blaine enjoyed living on his own. For the first time in his life, he could do what he wanted to do without thinking about someone else. It felt liberating. He loved buying things for his home, putting everything where he wanted them to be, not having to worry about what someone else thought about it. He could finally be himself.

Blaine took time for himself. He played tourist, visiting some of the places he had heard or seen about in movies or on TV. He didn’t jump straight into school since he really didn’t know what he wanted to do yet, and since he didn’t really need the money, he took his time deciding on what to do next with his life.

Blaine had been living in California two weeks when he got a call from Cooper about a new show that the Fox Network was holding auditions for. Cooper had already been hired, but they needed someone to play a young gay high school student. Cooper told them about Blaine, the plays he had done while in school, and about his singing voice. Cooper let them know that Blaine was going to turn 19 in a few months, he had only been out of high school six months and that he felt Blaine would be perfect for the role. They wanted to meet him.

“Cooper, do you think that is something I could do?” Blaine asked a little nervous.

“I think so. You did all those school plays when you were in school, so you know how to act. You went to NYADA even if just for a semester, and you also have a killer voice. I know once they meet you, they will be interested. Try out, and if you don’t get it, no harm’s done. Who knows you might actually like it.”

“When is my audition with them?” Blaine asked, starting to get into the idea. Cooper had always enjoyed acting and had done really well for himself.

“Well squirt, that’s the thing, it’s in an hour and a half,” Cooper answered.

“_What!!_ I can’t do that. I’ll do lousy. I won’t have time to learn a script or anything,” Blaine said, now feeling frustrated.

“They know that. The person who was supposed to be playing the part dropped out yesterday. They want to start shooting tomorrow, so they are bringing in a lot of people just to do cold reads. You will be handed a script. If you do ok with that, then you will be asked to do a chemistry read to see if you and your co-star can work well together.” Cooper answered, trying to calm Blaine down.

“If I do lousy on this one, will it ruin my chances for another one?” Blaine questioned.

“No, we all mess up and have lousy auditions it’s expected. Suggestion, don’t gel your hair, it makes you look older, or just use enough to control the frizz, and you should be ok,” Cooper advised.

“Anything else?” Blaine asked

“Have you shaved today, if not, don’t shave close like you normally do, just leave it a little scruffy, but neat looking, wear of a pair of jeans and tennis shoes, they always make you look younger than you are. Oh, when you get to security, tell them who you are, and you should have a badge and pass ready. Good luck squirt, I’ll see you when you get here.” Cooper said with a smile, knowing how nervous Blaine must be right now, remembering all the times he had gone through that himself.

“Thanks Coop, I owe you one,” Blaine said smiling

He jumped in the shower, washed out the gel he had put in his hair that morning, put in just a little after his shower. To him, it looked weird. He had worn gel since he was fourteen and had been made fun of in school because of his curly hair. Blaine grabbed a pair of faded denim jeans and a t-shirt, putting that on and then stepped into his tennis shoes and was soon in a cab heading for the Fox lot.

Blaine stopped at security, was given his badge, and was then escorted to where the auditions were being held. He immediately felt out of place watching everyone come in dressed to the nines and being given funny looks because of what he’d decided to audition in. Blaine decided he might have to kill Cooper for the advice he’d given him.

Blaine made it through his cold read and was asked to go back out to the main room. He held out some hope when not everyone was. Some came out and sat with him, but most just left. After the chemistry read, it was down to just him and four other men.

The door opened again, and the production assistant came out. “Mr. Anderson, if you don’t mind following me, gentlemen, thank you for your interest.”

Blaine stood there for a minute before it hit him. He had gotten the part. He smiled big and happily followed the assistant back. He was taken to the front to fill out paperwork and to sign a contract. When Blaine was asked who his manager is, all he could answer was, “I don’t have one. This is the only part I have ever auditioned for,” he answered, feeling nervous thinking he had just blown it.

“Give me a minute,” Ms. Carson said, picking up her phone. “Sarah, would you mind getting Mr. Drew to come to my office please.”

Within five minutes, Cooper was walking in. “Mr. Drew, since you recommended Mr. Anderson, do you think your manager would be available to sign him on as a client so we can take care of the contract today? We need him to be signed and ready for shooting tomorrow if we have any hope of staying on schedule.”

Blaine had completely forgotten that Cooper went by the surname Drew, which was short for his middle name Andrew. This made Blaine feel proud because that meant he had gotten the job on his own merit, not because of who his brother was. Sure, Cooper might have gotten him the audition, but Blaine had gotten the job himself.

“Sure thing, give me a sec, and I’ll call him,” Cooper answered with a smile and a wink at Blaine as he walked out the door to make the call.

Cooper's manager happily signed him on as a client, and looked over Blaine’s contract with Fox and found everything in order. Blaine signed the contract and was advised to be on set the next morning at 5 am.

His first day on the job, Blaine was shown where his trailer and was then taken to makeup and wardrobe. Today he didn’t need to know any lines. He was mainly doing background scenes. Blaine couldn’t believe who he was working with, Ali Roth, Ben Forbes, and his all-time favorite Jenna Malone, he had been watching her in movies and TV shows for years. To actually get to work with her was amazing. Blaine pulled out his phone to text Kurt to let him know where he was, what he was doing, and who he was doing it with. Just as he was typing up the last of the text, he realized he couldn’t do that anymore. The most important thing to happen to him in a long time and he couldn’t share it with his best friend. Blaine slowly erased the text and put his phone back in his pocket with a sigh. Man, that still hurt.

Blaine got to spend time with his on-screen boyfriend, Bryce Mitchell. They hit it off right away. They had so much in common. Since neither one of them had any real scenes that day, they got to just sit back and talk. Be part of the background, as the producer put it, sitting like shrubbery.

Eventually, they had to start rehearsing for their first shoot together the next day. They were playing two high school boys that had just become boyfriends and were about to share their very first kiss. Blaine knew that feeling, so he had a lot of experience to draw from. Bryce, on the other hand, didn’t. He was actually a straight man playing a gay boy, which to Blaine was just weird.

They ended up having to do the kissing scene for thirty minutes, when they called cut Bryce looked at him with a grin on his face, “if I were even remotely bi-curious you would have just converted me to your team.” He said laughing, and Blaine could do nothing but shake his head, feeling his face turned red.

About that time, Cooper, who had already finished his scenes, ran up and pulled Blaine into a hug. “Good job there Blainer’s, you even had me convinced,” he said, moving his eyebrows up and down suggestively.

Bryce looked between them and then asked Blaine, “oh, is this your boyfriend?”

Blaine looked at him like he just lost his mind. “God no,” he said, shaking his head.

“Why you gotta say it like that, Blainer’s? Come on. You know you love me,” Cooper said with his signature pout, which Blaine could only laugh at.

“Bryce Mitchell, I would like you to meet Cooper Drew, aka Cooper Anderson, aka my pain in the ass older brother,” Blaine said with a grin.

“Hey, why does it have to be like that, where’s the love?” Cooper asked, shaking his head before smiling at Bryce. “Hey, nice to meet you, ” he said, shaking Bryce’s hand.

Bryce just looked at Cooper, star-struck “Oh wow, I am one of your biggest fans, I was so hoping I would get to meet you,” Bryce said just staring at Cooper

“Oh god, please don’t say things like that, you don’t know how hard it is to get his big head in the car already,” Blaine said laughing and shaking his head

“Jealous much there squirt?” Cooper said, laughing.

“Ummm, no,” Blaine said, just looking at him like he was crazy.

“Yup, brothers. One hundred percent brothers,” Bryce said, joining in the laughter. “You’ll have to introduce me to your boyfriend, so I can congratulate him on getting those kinds of kisses,” he continued and then noticed the look that crossed Blaine’s face and the protective look that Cooper shot him. “Oh crap, sorry.”

“It’s ok, just a little recent,” Blaine said, looking down at his feet until he could get his expression under control, looking up with a smile. “No problem at all, ” he said, holding that smile until it became almost real again.

“I’m sorry Blaine. If you ever want to talk to your “boyfriend” about your ex-boyfriend, I’ll be here,” Bryce said, not knowing what else to say.

“Thanks, I might take you up on that,” Blaine said with a small smile.

“Hey little brother, do you want to come over to my place and let me get you drunk, and we can say nasty things about Kurt?” Cooper asked, putting his arm across Blaine’s shoulders.

“Thanks Cooper but I think I’m just going to go home. I’ll see you both in the morning,” Blaine answered, before turning around and walking away from the both of them.

“Oh man, I had no idea. I would never have said anything.” Bryce said, looking at Cooper.

“I know, trust me. I still slip up myself. Man, I hate that Kurt still has the ability to do that to Blaine,” Cooper said, really pissed off at Kurt.

“That bad, huh?” Bryce questioned.

“Oh yeah, that bad, but I can’t say anything. That’s for Blaine to tell you if, and when he is ever ready,” Cooper answered with a sigh.

“I can understand that. Oh well, I’ll see you guys tomorrow, hope Blaine is ok,” Bryce said before turning around and walking away

Blaine went home and started reading his lines through for the next day, and it hit so close to home. It was so much like when Blaine had first met Kurt, like someone had written his life. Blaine read through the script until nine-thirty and then gives up for the night. He knows tomorrow is going to be a long emotional day for him and was going to bring back a lot of old memories.

oOoOo

Blaine woke up the next morning more comfortable in his own skin than he had in a while. He had done a lot of soul searching the night before, second-guessing every decision he had made, and finally came to the conclusion that he was where he needed to be, he was finally in the right place for him. Yes, walking away from Kurt had hurt, but Blaine needed to do it. He needed to take care of himself for a while, do what was best for him. He needed to put the past in the past and allow himself to move into his present and eventually set his future.

That morning when he walked onto the lot, Blaine had a better attitude. He had gotten a good job. Was it something he had ever thought he would do, maybe not, but he enjoyed it. He was going to make the most of this opportunity.

Working with Bryce was amazing. Even though they were the same age, Bryce had been in the business since he was fourteen when he got his first TV show. He was always willing to give Blaine pointers, never overstepping so that he made Blaine feel like they weren’t equals, but showing him stuff that made him better.

“Are you sure you’re not gay? Because that tongue thing you just did was... wow,” Blaine said to Bryce laughing, and for once it was Bryce who was turning red

They had just filmed one of their first make-out sessions, and for Blaine, it had gotten a little heated. Luckily the pants he was wearing were loose enough that it wasn’t obvious. He hadn’t had that kind of reaction to anyone, not even Kurt. He had felt a spark when Bryce had touched him, a very strong physical attraction.

He waited for the comeback he just knew was going to fly his way, and when it didn’t, Blaine saw that Bryce was breathing a little heavy and that is when he noticed the slight bulge in the front of his pants, which was a little weird since Bryce was supposedly straight.

“Can I talk to you later?” Bryce asked him not really looking at him

“Sure, are you ok?” Blaine asked him, hoping his joke hadn’t been taken the wrong way. Bryce had joked the first day about the kisses they had shared, so Blaine thought his comment was ok, but maybe not.

They went back to filming the next part of the script, and everything seemed to go back to normal. The only thing in this scene had them doing was walking down the hallway talking while holding hands. So it was pretty straightforward. They broke for lunch, and Blaine saw Bryce head for his trailer and stayed there until filming began again.

This would be his first scene with Cooper, who was playing one of the teachers at the school. He had never really seen Cooper work before, yes, he had seen him in commercials, but never anything like this, and he was in awe of his big brother. The depth and warmth he brought to his character was amazing.

The next scene they filmed was of Bryce and him kissing again. Blaine remembered that after he and Kurt had shared their first kiss, that day and the next, at every opportunity they had, they were kissing and holding each other. There had been some heavy make-out session the first couple of days as well when they were getting to know each other, so the scenes weren’t too far away from the real-life of a teenage boy.

The kiss he shared with Bryce this time was more intense than the ones they had shared before even though the script didn’t call for it, he also got a little closer to Blaine than was scripted as well. Blaine became quickly aroused and felt that Bryce was too. The director called cut before Blaine could embarrass himself.

That was the last scene he was in that day, he quickly walked towards his trailer, locked the door, and walked into the little bathroom. He took care of himself quickly thinking about the kiss he had just shared with Bryce, Blaine came harder than he had in a long time, feeling it down to his toes.

He needed to get himself under control, he couldn’t walk around hard all the time, but he was just so attracted to him. Blaine hadn’t felt this kind of attraction for a straight man before, wanting something he knew he could never have.

When he went back out to find Cooper, he was on set, wrapping up his last scene of the day. “Hey, can I come over tonight and talk to you?” he asked. He needed to get Cooper's advice on what he should do.

“Yeah sure, if you’re ready, we can go now, I can give you a ride. Speaking of which, now that you have a job and an apartment here, it would seem like you plan on staying for a while, when are you going to get yourself a car, or are you thinking of shipping the one you had at home here? I can imagine that the taxi situation is a pain in the butt,” Cooper said as they were walking to his car.

“I was actually thinking about looking into it this weekend. I think I’ll leave the Audi at mom and dad’s for when I go home, so I’ll have something to drive. I really don’t know what kind I want yet.”

On the way to Coopers, they went through a drive-through burger place that Cooper swears had the best burgers he has ever eaten. They both order a bacon cheeseburger, fries and because of the size of the meal, Blaine orders a diet coke and laughs while he does.

When they get to Cooper's apartment, they ate, and he was right, it was the best burger Blaine had ever had. He might have just found his go-to burger place. They were also open late. He knew that some of the scripts called for late-night, outdoor scenes, so it was always nice to know places that were.

“Ok Blaine, what is up, has something happened with Kurt again? You walked away from your final scene and headed to your trailer, looking disturbed. Are you ok” Cooper asked him

Blaine felt guilty for worrying him, and apparently, he needed to learn how to be a better actor if Cooper could see he was upset so easily.

“Coop, have you ever been attracted to a co-star before?” Blaine asked, not even able to look at him. He didn’t know why he felt so embarrassed.

“Yeah, I have, that is actually how I met Candi,” Cooper answered. He and Candi had dated for three years and had worked together for two of those three years. They had eventually stopped seeing each other but were still very good friends. Cooper still considered her one of his best friends.

“Blaine, why are you asking me this is something going on?” he asked, looking at Blaine not as a fellow actor but as a big brother worried about his family.

“I think I am starting to have feelings for Bryce. I know that’s crazy, we just met, but when we had our scenes earlier, I felt something. And it isn’t just sexual. I felt something I haven’t felt in a really long time. The bad part is that I know he is straight, but when he kisses me, he does this “_thing_” that just sends electricity shooting through my body. There is this massive attraction. I have never been attracted to a straight man before.

“I mean, just look at Kurt, you can tell by looking at him. He has always been my type. I know Dave was nowhere near that, but he was just a rebound, I know that. I needed someone, and someone completely different from Kurt and he was there, I know how bad that sounds,” Blaine said shaking his head looking at Cooper almost feeling lost.

“Listen Blaine. I don’t know what to tell you. I wish I did. Maybe you need to start going out, see if you can find someone to start dating. I know a place where I can take you, they don’t sell alcohol, so you don’t have to be twenty-one, anyone eighteen and older can get in. Why don’t we go there Friday and just hang out? Maybe getting your mind off of Bryce will help,” Cooper offered.

“Let me think about it,” Blaine said before standing up. “I guess I need to head home and run through some lines for tomorrow.”

“Do you want a ride?” Cooper asked him.

“No, it isn’t that far. I think I’ll walk, maybe that will help clear my head, but thanks for everything Coop, I really appreciate it,” Blaine said, reaching out to open the door.

“Hey, that’s what big brothers for, love you, Blaine, see you tomorrow,” Cooper said as Blaine was opening the door.

Blaine turned around and smiled, “Love you too big brother,” he said as he was walking out the door.

When he got back to his apartment, he changed into a pair of sweatpants and his old Dalton Academy sports t-shirt. It was still one of his most comfortable shirts. Too bad it was starting to get thin from all the times he had worn it, he wished he had thought to pick up another one while he was working there.

Blaine put his iPod on the docking station and starts playing one of his random playlists, pulling out his script for tomorrow, and started reading it through. The first thing that pops out at Blaine is that it shows another make-out session, but also a small fight. He just smiled, this looked fun. Apparently, Blaine’s character Alex, was supposed to say something snarky to Bryce’s character Beau, who supposedly smacks him and then walks away.

He was reading over his lines for the third time when he got a text message from Bryce. They had exchanged numbers the first day they met, but this was the first time it was used.

Bryce: Hey, can I come over and we can talk

Blaine: Sure, here is my address” Blaine quickly typed in his address and waited a few minutes when he got another text.

Bryce: If it’s ok, I’ll be there in about ten minutes?

Blaine: That will be fine. See you then.

Blaine thinks about changing clothes, but then thinks that’s stupid. This isn’t a date; Bryce is just coming over so they can talk. Blaine continues to read through his script until he hears a knock on his door. He stands up and goes to answer it.

“Hi, thanks for letting me come over such last-minute,” Bryce said not looking Blaine in the eyes.

“No problem, do you want something to drink? I have diet coke, and water,” Blaine asked after shutting the door leading Bryce into the living room.

He noticed that Bryce looked really nervous and was wringing his hand. “No, I don’t need anything, ” he finally answered.

“OK, do you want to sit down?” Blaine said, sitting on the couch.

Bryce finally sat down but still wouldn’t look at him. Blaine was really confused by the way he was acting. They always got along great on set. Now it just felt weird and awkward. Had his comment earlier upset him that much?

Finally, Bryce turned on the couch, so he was facing Blaine. “I don’t even know where to start this conversation, Blaine I really don’t. I feel like we have started becoming friends, and I don’t want to do anything to mess that up,” he said, taking a deep breath before continuing.

“I have always thought of myself as straight. I have only ever dated a woman, yeah, I admit I have found some guys attractive but didn’t really think anything about it. That first day we kissed on set, I felt something I have never felt before. I can’t explain it, and then when we did that make out scene earlier today, I wanted you more than I have ever wanted anyone else. I have never felt like that with any girl I have ever dated.”

“I know with the situation you are in, this is probably the last thing you want to hear, but I needed to apologize for taking that scene too far today. Until you made that comment about my tongue, I hadn’t even realized I had done that to you. I have only ever done that with one person, one of my ex-girlfriends, and I had only done it when I was so turned on that I felt like I was going to explode.”

“Please accept my apology and know that I will work to keep everything between us, professional and friendly. You don’t need to go to work and be sexually harassed, and I just wanted you to know how sorry I was,” Bryce said before standing up and heading to the door.

Up to that point, Blaine hadn’t said anything. He had just let Bryce talk, with his heart beating in his chest so hard he was surprised that Bryce didn’t hear it.

“Can I talk now?” Blaine asked right before Bryce got to the door.

“What?” Bryce said, turning around, looking surprised.

“I said, can I talk now. Why don’t you come back over here and sit down for a minute,” Blaine said with a soft smile on his face.

He waited for Bryce to sit down before turning his body toward him. “I felt it too,” Blaine said.

“What?” Bryce said, looking at him in shock.

“I said I felt it too. When you kissed me, it was like a jolt of electricity went up my spine. Unlike you, I have kissed other men, I had a boyfriend for three almost four years who I was in love with and engaged too, and I never felt that even with him.”

“It was like this instant attraction, but you were straight, so you were so far out of my league, you were also not the type of man I have ever been attracted to, you are actually the opposite in every way, but you have been on my mind since our first kiss. When you made that comment about the way I kissed, I was confused because you were straight.”

“To be honest, I expected you to be a little repulsed. I have only kissed a girl twice in my life, both times with the same girl. I was at a party with my friend, the one who eventually became my boyfriend. I got really drunk and me and a girlfriend of his kissed. At the time, when I was drunk it felt great, we went out on a date, and I kissed her sober it was so very wrong, and I never kissed another girl, never wanted to.”

“I went and talked to Cooper for a while before coming home tonight. I was trying to figure out what I was going to do. I had all these feelings for you that I knew could never go anywhere. He actually planned on taking me out this weekend to see if I could find someone to date,” Blaine said.

Bryce just looked at him smiling “you really felt it too?” he said almost disbelievingly.

“Very much so. I can’t believe you didn’t feel how turned on I was. When you did that tongue thing, which I loved, by the way, I was so hard I had to walk back to my trailer to take care of some things,” Blaine said, laughing.

“Wow, I don’t even know what to say right now. I never considered myself gay before. I never had anything against people who were but never saw myself that way until some curly-headed man walked in front of me, and to be honest, I was a little bit lost.” Bryce said with a smile on his face.

Blaine reached out and took Bryce’s hand in his looking him in the eyes, “I have a suggestion. Since I have never kissed “_you_” Bryce, why don’t…..” he didn’t get to finish because Bryce cut him off.

“Yes, you have, trust me, that is a vivid memory I have from just a few hours ago,” Bryce looked at him with confusion, tilting his head sideways.

“Let me finish,” Blaine said, laughing.

“Alex has kissed Beau and Beau has kissed Alex, and very well by the way, but Blaine has never kissed Bryce and vice versa, with your permission, I would like to remedy that, to kiss you because I want to and not because it was part of a script telling me to do so. Would you be ok with that?” Blaine asked, looking deep into Bryce’s big brown eyes.

Bryce just smiled, “Yes, I would very much be ok with that”

Blaine gently reached out and pulled Bryce into his arms, leaning down, he softly placed his lips on Bryce’s, and there was that electricity again. Blaine raised his hand and cupped Bryce’s face before running his tongue on his bottom lip, asking permission to enter. When Bryce opened his mouth, Blaine slipped his tongue in, slowly running his tongue against Bryce’s chasing it sucking it gently before running his tongue on the roof of his mouth, never trying to deepen the kiss, just happy to keep it soft and gentle for their first real kiss.

When he finally broke the kiss, Blaine placed his forehead on Bryce’s, out of breath, and so turned on, it wasn’t funny. He noticed that Bryce was breathing heavily, as well. Blaine leaned in and placed another soft kiss on his lips before pulling back so he could look in Bryce’s eyes, judge his response. Blaine just looked at him with a soft smile on his face.

“Wow, I thought Alex’s kissed good, but damn Blaine,” Bryce said before leaning in and pulling Blaine into his arms and kissing him, deeper than the one Blaine had given him.

When they leaned back, they were both breathing heavy, and Blaine was extremely hard for the second time that day….


	3. Confessions

oOoOo

Blaine and Bryce spent a lot of time just talking, getting to know each other, and enjoying each other’s company, stealing an occasional kiss.

“Can I ask you a question? Feel free to tell me it is none of my business, but you have mentioned a long term boyfriend, can I ask what happened?” Bryce asked.

Blaine just looked at him for a minute before deciding to answer. He really liked Bryce and was hoping what they had together could become more.

“Ok,” Blaine said, letting out a long breath. “I met Kurt, my sophomore, his junior year in high school. He’d come to spy on my old glee club. I was part of a group called the Dalton Academy Warblers, and Kurt was in a rival glee club from McKinley High called the New Directions. The day we met as I said, he came to spy on us. The Warbler’s had planned this impromptu performance. We were performing Teenage Dream, and while I sang that song, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him, I just kept being drawn back. To be honest, I fell a little in love with him that day. It took me a while to realize how I felt about him, though, hence the whole kissing Rachel Berry fiasco. He ended up transferring to Dalton for about six months because he was being bullied so badly and had even received death threats because he was gay. Once he came to Dalton and we were able to spend more time together, that was when I realized I was in love with him.”

“He transferred back to McKinley when there was no longer a threat. I ended up transferring there the next year to be with him. It was great. We were in love. Everything was perfect until it wasn’t anymore. Kurt was accepted at NYADA so he and Rachel moved to New York. I was going to follow him after graduation the next year.”

“We had it all figured out, we were going to call, and email and Skype all the time so we could stay connected. That worked for the first month, and then he got an internship at Vogue. He started working crazy hours, calls went unanswered and not returned, text message the same, and our Skype dates got rescheduled and then rescheduled again.”

“I started to feel like I was losing him, like I no longer mattered to him, like I was no longer part of his life. Important things happened, and he wouldn’t return my call. I knew it took seven rings for his phone to go to voicemail, that’s how many times I called and heard it. I knew how many rings it took. Before I knew it, voicemail was picking up after only two or three, which meant he was purposely ignoring my calls. I was seventeen, and the love of my life had pushed me aside. I felt like I was no longer part of his life, much less his world, and… I cheated on him.”

"The minute it happened, I felt guilty because I should have acted like a man and got on a plane and made him talk to me. As soon as I cheated, I flew to New York. I had to tell him what I’d done. I had to confess everything. I guess in the back of my mind, I thought we could work it out, somehow we would still be ok, but he broke up with me, and we were broken up for about six months. The bad part was that Kurt wasn’t just my boyfriend, he was also my best friend. He was the person I went to when I needed someone to talk to, the one person who could keep me sane. We became friends before we were boyfriends. We could talk to each other about anything. So, because of my stupid insecurities, I lost both my boyfriend and best friend at the same time. That was the worst six months of my life.”

“His dad Burt loved me. He kept pushing for us to get back together, he even flew me to New York with him to surprise Kurt for Christmas even though we were broken up. Burt had just found out that he had prostate cancer and wanted someone to be there for Kurt, and as far as Burt was concerned that someone would always be me. After that, Kurt started coming home more and more often, and we started talking again, reconnecting. We finally made up, and we were happier than ever.”

“We got back together, and I asked him to marry me a week later in this grand proposal in front of our friends, and his dad, on the spot where we had first met. He said yes, and I was the happiest man you could have ever seen. I still had four months before graduation, and I could move to be with him, but things were better. We worked on our communication issues. If he missed a call, he called me back.”

“Once I graduated, I moved to New York to be with him. He and Rachel had this big apartment in Bushwick. It was a part of a converted warehouse. It was big, so there was plenty of room for the three of us.”

“I should have seen the signs that there was a problem from the minute I moved in, but I just kept pushing everything to the back of my mind, within a week of me moving in we had the biggest fight we had ever had. I had tried to make myself a study area, so that I would have a small space in the apartment that was mine since everywhere else you looked was all Kurt. His setup, his design. I just wanted one spot, and he exploded, saying he wished I had asked him before making design decisions in his home. I was in shock because I was under the impression that it was _our_ home.”

“We made up from that, and things seemed to be back on track until two weeks later we had an even bigger argument because I asked him to change the towel in the bathroom for a clean one. He had been brushing his teeth, and instead of rinsing his mouth the way he always did, he wiped it on the hand towel. He said there was no reason to change it, that he had put it out clean that morning. I should have just changed it myself, but at that point, I was getting a little aggravated myself, and I told him no one would want to use a towel with toothpaste on it. We ended up arguing about something that stupid for two hours.”

“When it came time to start to plan our wedding, I really should have caught on that something was wrong, but I just kept pushing all my doubts to the back of my mind. I was the only one working on planning our wedding. It was something I’d assumed we would do together. When we had first met, all Kurt could talk about was how he planned his dad and stepmom’s wedding in less than two weeks, but for our wedding, he didn’t seem to want any part in the planning at all.”

“I picked flowers that I knew he loved. We had always given each other six red and six yellow roses. He said that wasn’t the look he was going for, and then the I restaurant I chose to cater the reception just wouldn’t work either. This was a place we both loved mind you, which is why I chose it. It didn’t matter what plans I made, he had a problem with it, but he never gave me any suggestions on what would be better.”

“All that should have clued me in to just how big the problem had gotten, but I was so blindsided by love and the thought of spending the rest of my life with my best friend, that I ignored a lot of the signs, I just kept pushing on. The night we broke up, I was supposed to be meeting him for dinner. We had this restaurant that we started going to when I first moved to New York. He took me there my first night, and it just became our place. I was running late that night because I was trying to find another caterer for our reception, and it was pouring like crazy. When I got there, he was looking at his watch and started in almost as soon as I sat down. I was so excited by the place I had found and could hardly wait to tell him. I didn’t even get the chance. He asked why he was always the first to arrive? Why did I always pick _that_ restaurant for our date night? He just kept going on and on.”

“I finally asked him, ‘What’s wrong, are you not happy anymore, do you not want to marry me anymore?’ I expected him to deny it, you know. I expected Kurt to say, of course, I still want to marry you. Instead, he looked at me and said, ‘_Maybe I don’t. Let’s just end things before we start to really hate each other._’ No explanation. It was just over. Three almost four years of our lives tossed aside like it didn’t matter.”

“Shit Blaine, I’m so sorry,” Bryce said, staring at him.

“Unfortunately, that isn’t all. I can stop there if you want though,” Blaine said, not wanting to bore him.

“No, go ahead and tell me the rest,” Bryce said just looking at him

“After we broke up, I got a little depressed, and I moved back home with my parents. I ended up getting a substitute teaching job for the Warblers, and I loved it. I started dating someone who helped me a lot. There was no great love, but I liked spending time with him. I need to say though that he was also the person who bullied Kurt during high school. Come to find out he was gay and didn’t know how to deal with Kurt being out of the closet when he was too scared to be. Dave had apologized, and He and Kurt worked things out. I wouldn’t say they became friends, but they understood each other a little better.”

“When Dave first asked me out, I couldn’t say yes because of how bad he had hurt Kurt. Then I decided that I needed to stop thinking about Kurt and start thinking about what was good for me. We had a lot in common. We ended up moving in together, on my end just as friends, on his, he was hoping for more. We were dating, but I didn’t love him, and he knew it.”

“When our friend Rachel crashed and burned on her sitcom, she came back to Lima to help revamp the New Directions. Rachel and Kurt had become close while they were living together in New York, so within a few weeks of her coming home, Kurt came back, along with most of the original glee club. The New Directions weren’t just Kurt’s friends, they had become mine as well. One by one, they started calling me to come to McKinley for one thing or the other.”

“Mercedes wanted me to help her convince Rachel she needed to go back to Broadway. She had given up the role of Fanny Brice to come to California to do that TV show. She didn’t belong on TV, Rachel Berry belonged on Broadway, and we all knew it.” Blaine said with a smile, remembering the day she had come back. Blaine had been shocked that Kurt hadn’t told her that they had broken up.

“Wait, is that the same Rachel you drunk kissed?” Bryce asked with a big grin.

“One and the same,” Blaine said, laughing. “As I said for one reason or another, I kept getting called back to McKinley, by Rachel, Mercedes, Sam, even my old cheerleading coach called me.”

“Wait, wait, wait, you were a cheerleader?” Bryce said, mouth hanging open.

“Yup guilty. There are even a few videos on YouTube to prove it, along with a few others,” Blaine said, laughing again.

“Sorry, go ahead, I’ll try not to interrupt you again,” Bryce said, still looking at Blaine.

“Rachel had to leave her childhood home. Her dads were selling their house, and she was having a tough time dealing with it. A group of us got together and decided to throw her a goodbye to Rachel’s childhood home party. Kurt and I were chosen to do a duet together. Everyone was going to sing a duet with someone else. We did ours, and all these old feelings came out. When I had to leave, he walked me outside, and we just talked. It was comfortable. It was us, you know, and before I knew what I was doing, I kissed him. So twice in my life, I cheated.”

“Doesn’t really paint me in the best picture, but that is what happened. Dave and I broke up, and I had to decide what to do with the rest of my life. Kurt showed up begging me to come back to him, apologizing for everything, even things that had caused our first break up, he acknowledged that he had gotten too busy and pulled away. Kurt said that he realized what we had, after the breakup, and wanted me back. I was so close to saying yes. Kurt had been my world for so long, you know, not only that, but he was still my best friend. I loved him so much.”

“Sitting there looking at him, I realized how easily he had ended us twice one way or the other. If we got back together, how long would it be before he decided to do it again? I finally had to think about what was good for me, what I needed to do for myself. I packed up and moved here. You know the rest,” Blaine said with a sad smile.

“Wow, Blaine, I am so sorry you had to go through that. No wonder you looked the way you did when I mentioned your boyfriend,” Bryce said, not believing Blaine had gone through all of that and was still such a sweet person.

“So, has my story run you off yet,” Blaine asked really hoping not. He really felt like they could be something. Bryce looked at him for a few minutes, not saying anything, and Blaine waited for the worst.

“No, you haven’t. I understand why you did what you did both times. But if we do start something and Kurt shows up, I might have to hurt him and then probably you if he comes near you, so you have been warned,” Bryce said with a scary look before a smile spread across his face.

“I think I can handle that,” Blaine said with a laugh, before pulling Bryce back into his arms and kissing him again. When things started heating up, Blaine pulled back, putting his hands on either side of his face, placing one more gentle kiss on Bryces lips.

“If we don’t stop soon, I won’t be able to,” Blaine said softly, leaning his forehead against Bryce’s.

“Yeah, I guess I need to head home,'' Bryce said, standing up and heading to the door. “See you tomorrow, ” he said almost questioningly

Blaine walked up to him, wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him in close, “Oh, you’ll definitely see me tomorrow, have a good night and be careful driving home ok.”

“I will,” Bryce said, placing a kiss on Blaine’s lips one more time before walking out the door.

oOoOo

Blaine woke up the next morning with a smile on his face, looking forward to seeing Bryce again. Then it hit him, how were they going to act on set. Bryce wasn’t out. Were they just going to act like co-workers because technically, that was all they were. Yes, they had shared stories and several, several kisses that had pushed Blaine to the very edge so that he had to take care of himself again after Bryce had left. Blaine decided the best way to handle everything was to let Bryce make the moves. He was the one who wasn’t out, Bryce was the only one who could decide on what to say. Blaine couldn’t out him. He decided just to go in and act normal and go from there.

Bryce and Blaine ended up not being in any of the same scenes during the morning shoot. After lunch would be the first time they were together. Blaine knew in that scene they were supposed to argue. During their lunch break, Blaine kept expecting Bryce to join him. Since their first day working together they had eaten lunch together, and Blaine figured after last night they would for sure, but Bryce never joined him. Blaine spent his lunch break with Cooper. He was going to go looking for a car Saturday and Cooper had agreed to go with him.

One of the crew members walked over to the television in the break area, turning it on, “did you guys see where Bryce is going to be doing an interview this morning? He has been up in the office all morning, talking to legal and to his mom and dad on the phone. I heard he was about to make a big announcement.”

Blaine turned around and looked at the screen. The interview was just starting.

“Hi, I don’t normally do these kinds of interviews, but there is an announcement that I need to make. I’ve met someone very special. This person makes me laugh, and smile, and just makes me happy. We haven’t really known each other long, we are still in the infancy stages,” Bryce said with a nervous laugh. “I have never met anyone like this person before, someone who is so honest, amazing, and caring. The main reason for this interview is because you will probably start hearing things, and I wanted to be the one to announce this. I have spent the morning talking to my parents, publicist, and with the head of the studio.”

“This has been a long journey of discovery for me, I have always had these thoughts in the back of my mind, but it wasn’t till I met this amazing person that it all made sense. My world opened up. Things became so much clearer. Ok, now the announcement,” He said, looking over at his parents who had arrived just before the camera started rolling. They just smiled at him with encouragement

“I want to announce that I am gay. This isn’t something I ever thought about, I have always dated girls, and have even loved a few, but there has always been something missing. The minute I met this person, my eyes were opened for the first time. He made me see things like I never have before. He lights up my day just by being in it. I can see my future with him,” Bryce said, looking at the camera, heart in his eyes, almost like he was looking straight at Blaine.

That was as much as Blaine could handle, he thought he had had a shot with Bryce, but apparently, he already had someone else. When will he ever learn?

“Let’s go out Friday night,” Blaine said, looking at Cooper 

“Works for me squirt,” Cooper said, smiling.

Blaine was glad he hadn’t told Cooper about his conversation with Bryce last night, a conversation that had made him believe he had a shot at something that could have been special. He smiled at Cooper and then stood up.

“I am going to go to my trailer. I have a little bit of time before my next scene. I think I am going to go and have a quick nap.” Blaine said. Thank goodness he usually did that, so it didn’t seem so out of place. With being on set at five in the morning, a lot of the crew would grab little naps in between shoots.

Blaine needed time to get his thoughts in order, time to prepare to face Bryce, and be able to act normal. They had started being friends before last night, and he hoped that they could continue with that. Blaine kind of laughed when he remembered the scene they were about to shoot. He and Bryce were supposed to have a small lovers quarrel with Blaine ending up being smacked. Well, this should be cathartic, if nothing else.

When Blaine got the call that he is due on set, he made his way there, trying to keep everything off his mind except for what he needed to do for his scene. Usually, he went over and talked to Bryce, but he wasn’t feeling it today, he wanted to get his work done for the day, go to Coopers borrow one of his bottles of liquor and just forget everything, even if just a little while

“_Beau, I’m sorry, but that is about the stupidest thing I have ever heard. You have lost your mind if you think I am going to let you go out with someone else. You are MY boyfriend, how would that look. I don’t care if it was already planned before we got together.”_

“**_Let me Alex, who are you to let me do anything, you are not my parents, and you don’t get to tell me what to do,_**” he said getting right in Alex’s face pointing his finger the whole time.

“_You know what I meant Beau, how would you like it if I decided to go somewhere with Adam, would that be ok with you_?”

“_That is different, and you know it, you and Adam used to be a couple, Ben and I have been friends forever, we’ve had this scheduled for months, Alex, months_.”

Now it was Alex's time to get mad, “**_And Ben loves you, you idiot. How can you even think of going out with him even as friends? Are you really that dense? Fine, do what you want to do, go out with him, but don’t come back to me when he breaks your heart. I’m done. Man, I still can’t believe you could be that dumb_**_.”_ At this point, Bryce slaps Blaine and the scene cuts

Cooper walked up to them with a smile on his face “Man. You guys nailed it on the first try. Good deal. Come on Blainer’s, let's go grab dinner, my treat. I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Have a good night,” Blaine said to Bryce, turning around and walking away with Cooper.

Bryce just stood back and watched as he walked away, shocked and just a little hurt. He had been hoping to talk to Blaine, see if he had seen the interview, see if what they had started last night could be built into something, but Blaine had been acting weird ever since he came on set. Blaine wouldn’t look at him and seemed to put a lot more anger into the scene than they had rehearsed. Bryce was starting to think he had misread what happened last night. In the back of his mind, Bryce had seen the whole thing play out. He would do his interview, talk to Blaine, let him know that he was the one he had been talking about, and they could go from there. But Blaine had been distant, and now he was walking away with Cooper. Now what…..

oOoOo

Blaine went with Cooper for dinner. They once again went to the burger place, but ate in this time instead of taking it too Coopers

“Ok, squirt, what’s up? You’ve been off most of the day. You barely talked to Bryce other than during your scene. Is there something going on? You were fine this morning, and then after that interview, it was almost like you zoned out. I thought what he said would be a good thing, that you now had a shot, and then you asked to go out Friday,” Cooper said, looking concerned.

“Didn’t you hear what he said, he has someone ‘_special_,’ in his life ‘_He lights up his day just by being in it_.’ I can’t compete with that Cooper, and with everything that happened with Kurt, I don’t think I have the strength too,” Blaine answered. “He came over last night, and we talked. I thought we were heading somewhere. He told me that he felt something when he was with me and we kissed. I told him everything about Kurt, the first time I cheated, and how I cheated on Dave with Kurt. He made some comment that if we get together and Kurt came around, he will hurt him and probably me too. I took that to mean that we might be moving towards something, and then that interview pretty much showed me there was no way,” Blaine said softly, feeling defeated.

“Blaine, did you talk to him today, after the interview, did you take time to talk to him. You have a habit of taking things the wrong way, spinning them the way you think they are. You did that with Kurt, don’t do that with Bryce. Talk to him before you just give up.” Cooper said with concern

“Ok, I’ll talk to him tomorrow; I would like him to be my friend if nothing else. I just had to shake what I was feeling. It felt almost like rejection. I know how I can get sometimes, but with the whole Kurt thing that happened, I guess I am a little warped in the head,” Blaine said with an almost sad smile. He was feeling better after talking to Cooper.

After they finished eating, Cooper dropped Blaine off at his apartment building, he took the elevator up to his floor, and as he was walking down the hall, he was pulling out his keys. That is when he sees Bryce sitting on the floor beside his door. He had his legs pulled up to his chest with his arms wrapped around them. Bryce’s head was on his knees, and Blaine could just make out his shoulders moving up and down like he was crying. Blaine ran up to him and squatted down beside him.

“Bryce, are you ok?” he asked, putting his hand on Bryce’s back.

“I thought you would be happy,” he said, looking up at Blaine, and Blaine could tell that he had been crying for a while. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen.

“Thought I would be happy about what?” Blaine asked, looking at him concerned. “Come on, stand up, and we can go inside and talk,” Blaine said, holding out his hand to Bryce, to help him stand and then unlocked and opened his door. They walked in, and Blaine guided him over to the couch so that he could sit down.

“Give me just a minute,” Blaine said, first walking towards the bathroom, grabbing a washrag and wetting it before walking into the kitchen to grab two bottles of water out of the fridge, carrying them over to Bryce. 

Blaine sat down beside him, handing him the rag and one of the waters. “Here, wipe off your face, drink some water, and then we can talk, ok,” he said, hating to see Bryce so upset, wondering if his wonderful person had already broken his heart. Blaine hoped not. Bryce was too special a person for that. Bryce drank half of the water in one long sip, and then using the rag Blaine had brought him, he washed his face and then leaned his head on the back of the couch with a deep sigh.

“Ok, are you ready to talk to me about it?” Blaine asked him softly.

“Blaine, when I woke up this morning, I was so happy. I had finally figured everything out, why I have never been able to get close to any of the girls I’ve dated. I’ve loved some of them, but I’ve never had that connection to someone like you hear about until I met you. When you kissed me that first time, I felt it down to my toes. I just knew that you were the person I was meant to be with. I called my parents and talked to them, went to my publicist, and the head of Fox to let them know I was planning on coming out. I did the interview because I didn’t want any rumors floating around. I wanted to be in control of the situation, in control of the story, not the paparazzi. When I got on set, I was so excited to tell you, but you were so standoffish. I figured I had misunderstood what happened last night, that I had somehow misread the signals. I am so new at this,” Bryce said with a long sigh.

“Ahh, honey, you didn’t misread anything. Apparently, I did. When I saw your interview, since you hadn’t said anything, I just assumed you were talking about someone else, that you had found someone else.” Blaine said, pulling Bryce into his arms.

Bryce wrapped his arms around Blaine, placed his head on Blaine’s shoulder, and whispered, “No, I meant you. You are this amazing, wonderful person. I was hoping you wanted what I wanted, that you would be willing to see if we can be something to each other. I know that is crazy, but I was really hoping.”

Blaine leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of Bryce’s head. “Nothing would make me happier. I want that too, I really do.”

Bryce raised his head and looked at Blaine. “Are you sure? I know what you’ve been through, and I can’t promise you that I’ll never hurt you, but I can promise to do my very best not too.

“That is all I can ask for, and I give you the same promise. But we are going to need to take this slow. Like you said you are new to this, I don’t ever want to do anything you aren’t comfortable with, that you aren’t ready for. I’m going to depend on you to talk to me if things are going too fast. I need you to let me know what you want and what you feel comfortable with. I don’t ever want to rush you. If I go too far, stop me.”

“Ok, can you kiss me now, please?” Bryce asked a little hesitantly.

“Ahh honey, nothing would make me happier,” Blaine said with a smile, before leaning in and capturing Bryce’s lips, running his tongue across his bottom lip and sighing deeply when Bryce grants him access and allows Blaine to ease his tongue in. Releasing Bryce’s lips, Blaine starts kissing his way up Bryce’s jaw to nibble on his earlobe biting down gently before going back to his sweet lips, loving all the noises he made.

He felt Bryce arch up against him, and heard his heavy breathing and knew he needed to slow down. He wanted to try to build a relationship with him, not let it be only about sex. Blaine kissed him slowly one more time before pressing their foreheads together.

“Oh, how quickly you make me forget myself,” Blaine whispered with a soft smile on his face, pulling Bryce into a hug so that he was half lying on him, and comfortable to just stay like that, occasionally planting soft kisses on top of his head.

They just sat like that forever holding each other, and then Blaine noticed how still Bryce had gotten, how slow his breathing was. He was asleep, and Blaine smiled. He was in heaven, he had always enjoyed cuddling, and with Bryce in his arms, he couldn’t think of a time that was any better. Blaine reached for the throw he kept on the back of the couch. He placed it across Bryce’s back, and slowly while holding him slid down on the couch, so he was lying on his back, with Bryce on top of him. With his arm still wrapped around Bryce, Blaine gently rolled to his side so that Bryce’s back was now toward the back of the couch, his head still on Blaine’s shoulder. He adjusted the throw so that they were both covered, Blaine placed a gentle kiss on Bryce’s forehead before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep with a smile on his face.

Blaine was woken up a few hours later when he felt Bryce gently thrust his hips against Blaine. Without opening his eyes, he whispered, “Honey, you really need to stop that, or you will get more than you were expecting” Blaine was already getting hard, loving the feeling of Bryce rubbing against him like that.

Bryce stopped, and Blaine felt him duck his head further into his neck. “Sorry,” he said, unknowingly blowing warm air on one of Blaine’s most sensitive places on his neck, making him even harder. Blaine shifts his hips so that they are further away from Bryce, kissing him on his forehead.

“It’s ok, you don’t have anything to apologize for,” Blaine said, placing another soft kiss on Bryce’s forehead.

Blaine just manages to drift back off to sleep when he feels Bryce rock into him again, this time Blaine opens his eyes, barely making out Bryce’s face with the small amount of light streaming in around the curtains from the outside light. Blaine slowly leans in and places a soft kiss on Bryce’s lips. He was so hard now it was painful, but he wanted to give Bryce time to stop, knowing he had never done anything like this before. When Bryce deepened the kiss, Blaine slips his tongue into Bryce’s mouth, chasing his tongue, gently sucking it into his mouth, before tugging gently on his hair to tilt his head. Blaine kisses Bryce’s neck, and gently bites down,

Blaine takes his arm that had been draped across Bryce’s waist and slowly runs his hand down Bryce’s side down to his ass and pulls Bryce’s hips even closer. When Blaine felt how hard Bryce was, that was all it took.

Blaine shifted his hips and now his hard erection is on Bryce's. Still squeezing his ass Blaine pulls him as close as he can, and then slowly starts rocking into him, kissing him passionately at the same time. When Bryce starts to moan and shifts himself to a different position, allowing Blaine more contact he almost loses his mind. Blain wanted to make this special for Bryce, but couldn’t stop himself from squeezing Bryce’ ass as he started to thrust his hip faster, pressing his erection harder into Bryce’s until they were both panting.

He continues rocking his hips connecting with Bryce, chasing his orgasm hoping he can hold out long enough for Bryce, to get his first. This was their first experience together, and a first for Bryce. Blaine wanted to make this so good for him.

When he feels Bryce starts arching forward, Blaine holds him as close to his body as he can continuing thrust his hips giving them both the friction they desperately needed. Blaine feels as Bryce’s hands on his back starts digging his nails in. Soon he is gasping and is moving faster, nails digging in harder and Blaine thinks it is the most amazing feeling he has ever felt. He never knew how much he would love nails digging into his back like that. When Bryce moans out Blaine’s name he knows Bryce has gotten his release. Blaine rocks himself through his own orgasm with long strangled moans, he follows not long after.

They both lay there panting, not saying anything, just staring at each other.

“I didn’t know it could be like that” Bryce said before leaning in and placing a soft kiss on Blaine’s lips.

“It has never been like that for me before” Blaine said, looking at him with a gentle smile, and he was one hundred percent honest about it. He and Kurt had had sex, a lot, and it had always been good, but something as simple as what they had just shared had been better than anything he had ever experienced before. He knew his back was going to be scratched up and really couldn’t bring himself to care

He held Bryce in his arms tight placing gentle kisses on his lips, snuggling close, pulling him tighter. He had always enjoyed the after. He loved the closeness. The longer him and Kurt had been together, it seemed like the quicker Kurt pulled away. He wasn’t a cuddler, or at least he wasn’t after they had gotten back together, after the first breakup. Before then Blaine remembers holding him for hours. Maybe that had been another sign he should have paid attention to.

“Why don’t we go and cleaned up, and then we can climb into bed?” Blaine said, kissing Bryce one more time before standing up and putting his hand out to Bryce to help him stand.

Still holding his hand, Blaine guided him into his bedroom, shuffled through his drawers and pulled out a pair of lounge pants so Bryce would have something clean to put on after he got out of the shower. Blaine sat on the side of his bed while Bryce showered and couldn’t keep the smile off of his face. True, he had not intended things to move as fast as they had tonight, but he couldn’t bring himself to regret a minute of it.

When the bathroom door opened Blaine could do nothing but stare as Bryce stepped out wearing his lounge pants and no shirt. Bryce was beautiful, he was tan and built and before he realized it Blaine was turned on again. He had never been so turned on by someone, for the simplest things before. He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Bryce’s lips before heading to the shower, wanting to do so much more but knowing he needed to slow down. This was too important to be messed up with sex, they needed to take things slow until Bryce was ready for more.

Blaine knew he couldn’t walk back into the bedroom in the condition he was in, so he soaped up his hand, and started running it up and down his cock, thinking about Bryce and what they had done in the living room and before long he was coming again. Biting his lip to keep from calling out, it hit him that hard. Twice in less than an hour, he had never been like that before. That turned on by another person.

Blaine quickly cleaned up and dressed before walking back into his room. Bryce was setting on the edge of the bed were Blaine had sat down, he walked over to him, and pulled him back into his arms placing a small kiss on his lips before bending over to the bed and pulling the blankets down and allowing Bryce to slide in and then slid in beside him, he reached over and turned off the lights and was soon pulling Bryce back into his arms.

“Was that it?” he heard Bryce ask from where his head was lying on his chest.

“Was what it?” Blaine asked, leaning up and looking down at Bryce a little confused by the question.

“Was that all there is to sex between two men?” Bryce questioned, turning red, looking embarrassed.

“No honey, that’s nowhere near all, trust me. But for now I think that is all you are ready for. We can always try more when you are,” Blaine said, looking at him with a small smile.

“Was it enough for you, if that wasn’t all of it, and you are used to more, is that enough for you?” Bryce questioned sounding nervous

“Me just holding you in my arms is enough, what we did in there is enough” Blaine said, leaning down, placing a gentle kiss on Bryce’s sweet lips, before pulling him even closer, with a smile on his face. This was definitely enough. More than enough for now anyway, he thought before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep, with a happy smile on his face.


	4. To remember

_“Umm, Hi, everyone I umm want to sing a song that is very special to me, this is the song I sang the first time I ever met the love of my life, so Kurt this is for you.”_

_Before you met me, I was alright, but things were kind of heavy you brought me to life now, every February, you’ll be my Valentine, Valentine…._

_They were walking through Central Park when Kurt finally asked the question that Blaine didn't want him to ask, and he had to tell him the truth. He had been so blind and so stupid and thought honestly that they would fight, work through it, but somehow they would survive, that their love was strong enough, they would make it._

Blaine woke up gasping for air, as sobs wracked through his body, jerking up trying to breathe, only then remembering that Bryce had been in bed with him. He quickly looks over to where Bryce should have been, afraid that he had woken him up and that he was going to have to explain that he sometimes had nightmares from when he and Kurt broke up, but Bryce wasn’t there.

Blaine had lost count of how many times he had woken Dave up, gasping for air, sobs breaking free as he relived two of the worst days of his life. Sometimes the nightmares centered around the first break up, but usually, it was the second that he seemed to have the worst nightmares from.

Once again, he looks over to where Bryce had been and saw an empty bed. Sheets and blankets pulled up as if he had never even been there. Blaine had always hated that toward the end, before he and Kurt’s final break up. Kurt had gotten to where he would come in from work late, usually long after Blaine had finally gone to bed and fallen asleep. Blaine would stay awake as long as he could, just hoping to get to see Kurt, hoping they could spend even a moment together, only to wake up in the morning to find an empty bed, and Kurt’s side made up, just like Bryce’s was this morning. Once again, another sign he missed.

No matter how early Blaine set his clock, Kurt was always gone when he woke up. If it weren’t for the few times he would wake up to snuggle next to Kurt before falling back to sleep, Blaine would have thought Kurt never came to their bed.

That was usually how his second dream went, him laying there in bed, just waiting for Kurt to come home, wanting to spend some time together, even if it was just to talk, only to end with him sitting at the restaurant, rain pouring down behind him as Kurt says they had a good run but should just end things before they really started hating each other.

Blaine ran the heels of his hands across his eyes, and then through his hair as he stands up and heads to the shower. He no longer gels his hair as he did in school. The makeup person had given him a new product to use. It was best when applied right after showering, so he usually did that before heading to the studio. Blaine next reaches into the medicine cabinet and pulls out the tube of cream he started using right after the second break up. Blaine always had swollen, puffy eyes from crying, and the cream seemed to help cover it up. He knows that once he gets to the lot, they will use makeup to cover everything up, but Blaine didn’t want to risk running into Cooper beforehand and letting him be concerned for no reason.

Blaine walks over to his dresser and pulls out the most comfortable pair of jeans and t-shirt he has and puts them on. Once again, knowing he will have to change when he gets to the lot. Wardrobe will have an outfit picked out for him, but he just wanted to be comfortable right now. He knows once he gets to work, he’ll be ok. It usually just takes a little while for him to shake the way he feels after having one of those dreams. Dave used to hold him through it, hold him while he cried. He missed the physical contact. Not for the first time, Blaine hopes he hasn’t caused Dave to go through something like that, he was such a special person and so didn’t deserve it. Blaine almost wishes he had kept his answer no when Dave first asked him out.

Once his cab pulls up, Blaine walks outside and climbs in. He usually spends his morning commute talking to his driver, but today he just can find the energy. He knew one thing though, he was tired of waiting for cabs. He had had to do it the whole time he was in New York unless he took the subway, which usually took longer than waiting on a cab, to begin with. Once he is dropped off at the studio, Blaine walks straight to make up still not in the mood to see anyone yet. He spends his time while in the chair, contemplating getting with Cooper to see if he will take him to look for cars. He was finally ready.

Once he’s done with hair and makeup, he heads to wardrobe and almost laughs at the outfit they had picked out for him for today’s shoot. He swears they must have gone through his closet at his parent’s house, where he’d left all his old clothes from when he graduated from McKinley. He could almost swear that if they looked closely, they would find this outfit hanging up in his closet bowtie and all.

When he gets done with wardrobe, he still hasn’t run into Cooper, so he goes into Craft services and grabs a coffee and sits down. He is on his second cup when he hears Cooper and Bryce walking up behind him.

“Damn squirt, did you go home to mom and dad’s and raid your old closet?” Cooper asked laughing

Blaine burst out laughing too, “I swear I thought the same thing, I think this is the outfit I was wearing the day you visited McKinley and told me to stop letting my boyfriend dress me.”

“Yes, yes, that’s it. I can’t believe they had you wear that today” Cooper said, still laughing.

“I know, right…” Blaine said, looking at him.

“I still stand by that comment. You should never have let Kurt dress you. Now, we just need to figure out what wardrobe was smoking,” Cooper said with a grin.

“And I stand by what I said then, Kurt didn’t dress me that was all on me,” Blaine said, laughing before he realized what he had just said and that he hadn’t spoken a word to Bryce yet. He was just about to rectify that when he was called for his first shoot of the day. He was working with the guy who plays Adam, Alex’s ex-boyfriend

Blaine stands up, smiles quickly at Bryce, and heads to the sound stage where they were filming his next part.

“So, you knew Kurt,” Bryce said, looking at Cooper.

“Yeah, I met him once. He seemed like a halfway decent kinda guy, I guess. He did say something I didn’t like at the time, though. Blaine introduced us. He realized who I was and remembered a commercial I had done. He just stood there staring at me, then looked at Blaine and said, “Blaine, your brother is the best looking man in North America.”

“I mean who does shit like that, who says something like that to their boyfriend or girlfriend about another person. I could tell Blaine was hurt, but Kurt just kept standing there grinning,” Cooper said shaking his head, still now believing it had happened.

“Wow” was the only thing Bryce could say

“Exactly, this even after Blaine transferred schools to be with him. Blaine convinced our parents to let him change schools so that he could be close to Kurt, and then he pulls the shit he does, I have some very strong feelings about Blaine’s ex. I hate to say it, but I’m kinda glad that Kurt broke the engagement. I didn’t see that lasting at all.” Cooper said, standing up and heading the way Blaine had walked with Bryce walking beside him.

“Adam, what do you think you are doing?” Blaine says, looking at the guy playing Adam as he reaches out and pulls him to him.

“Come on, Alex, I heard you and Beau broke up, you're free to see me again,” Adam said before leaning in and kissing him.

Blaine pushes him away “No we didn’t break up, we had a little argument yesterday, we are still very much together, and even if we weren’t that doesn’t mean I would want you to kiss me,” Blaine said before turning around and walking away as the director says cut and asks them to redo the scene because something was off with the lighting.

Bryce stands there and watches Blaine redo the kissing scene three times before the director is satisfied. They walk off the set laughing, and Bryce has to admit he didn’t like it. He didn’t like seeing Blaine kiss someone else. He doesn’t know where that came from, Blaine was just doing a scene, and Bryce has never been jealous of someone before.

Bryce stands there watching as Blaine walks up to him and Cooper. “Hey Coop, can I talk to you a minute?” Blaine asks, and he and Cooper walk off together

“What’s up squirt?” Cooper asks, putting his arm across Blaine’s shoulder as they walk away.

“Listen, can you take me to look at cars today, I want to take Bryce out Friday, but I don’t want to have to pick him up in a cab,” Blaine says, looking behind him at Bryce.

“Sure we can do that. I only have two more scenes so we can leave whenever you’re done.” Cooper says with a smile. He is glad that Blaine is going to ask Bryce out, so tired of seeing his little brother hurt, he wants him to be happy again.

Blaine finishes up his last scene of the day and is about to head out when he realizes he still hasn’t talked to Bryce yet today, other than saying good morning and during the two small scenes they had together. Their characters were still having issues with their relationship they are trying to work through.

“Hey, me and Cooper are about to head out for the day, can I call you tonight?” Blaine asked, walking up to Bryce with a soft smile on his face.

“Yeah, that would be good,” Bryce said before he turns around and walks to the set, being called back for his next scene.

Blaine notices a strange look on Bryce’s face and hopes that he wasn’t regretting what they had done last night. Blaine knows they went farther than he had intended them to at this stage in their relationship, but Bryce seemed to be just as into it as he was. Blaine didn’t think he had pushed him. Now he is worried and wishes he had taken a few more minutes today to talk to him.

Blaine ends up buying an Audi A8 in black. He had always loved the one his parents had bought him when he turned sixteen. He missed having his own car, being able to come and go as he wanted to without having to wait for a cab to take him somewhere.

“Thanks for coming with me, Coop, well for bringing me,” he said with a grin “You wanna go grab dinner, my treat this time I have another favor to ask you…”

oOoOo

Today, Blaine woke up hurting. Today they would have been together four years, and this was the first anniversary he would be spending alone. Even between their breakups, they had always been together on this date.

Blaine didn't say anything to anyone, just went to work, did his thing and left as soon as his scenes were done, not wanting to be around anyone, missing Kurt so bad it hurt. Wondering for the hundredth time if he had done the right thing in saying goodbye. Blaine knew deep down he had, but on days like this though, it was hard to remember that. He thought back to all the good times they had had because there had been a lot. Their first kiss, their first date, the first time they said I love you, the first time they had made love, when Kurt had agreed to be his boyfriend, and then when he agreed to marry him.

Blaine thought Kurt would be his forever. He had been prepared for forever, and now, he had to learn to live without him, move on, and see if he could create a life with someone else. But not really seeing how. How could anyone take the place of his Kurt? The person he had always loved above anyone else and needed more than anything. Kurt had become his person, his life.

Blaine drove himself to his apartment, when he walked in the first thing he did was put his phone in his sock drawer that way when he got drunk he wouldn't be tempted to call Kurt, because right now that was all he wanted to do. Blaine wanted to pick up his phone call Kurt and beg him to take him back. He then went into the living room, grabbed the bottle of bourbon Blaine had had Cooper buy for him, broke the seal, and started drinking, feeling like crying the whole time. How had this happened, how had they gotten to this point, when had something that had always seemed so perfect between them, gone so terribly wrong?

Before long, the doubts started settling in. Had Kurt ever really loved him, why wasn't he good enough. Why had Kurt pulled away from him the first time, leaving him feeling so lost and alone until he had messed up? Blaine had reached out to someone else because he had just wanted to feel again. He had just felt so numb, so hopeless.

He remembers when June Dolloway told him he should break off the engagement, Blaine remembers how shocked he was, because, to him, Kurt was more important than any future she might have been able to offer him. He had potentially given up an opportunity for himself, instead of letting Kurt be hurt. He had brought him up to sing at his showcase even though June had pretty much told him that if he screwed her over, she would leave him like driftwood.

Blaine stumbled over to his laptop. He was going to watch the video he had saved of him and Kurt doing American boy. It had always been one of his favorites of all the duets they had done, that and “Baby its cold outside” thinking back on that he wonders again how he didn’t know then what Kurt had meant to him, wishing with everything he had that someone could have been there to record that one.

When his laptop got booted up, he was surprised by all the email notifications that kept popping up, before he knew it, he had about twenty new emails from his friends with the New Directions and even the Warblers, each one with a link to a YouTube video. Like an idiot, he clicked on it, and then wished with everything he had that he hadn’t, it was labeled “Our Anniversary.”

_“Blaine, I know you won’t see this, but I couldn’t let today pass without saying Happy Anniversary. Today, four years ago, we became boyfriends, one of the best days of my life. You are and will always be the best thing that ever happened to me. I still can’t believe how badly I screwed up, losing you.”_

_“I still miss you so very much, and I love you just as much now as I did then. I am so sorry I pushed you away the first time that caused you to do what you did. And the last time we broke up…, I don’t even know where to begin. I still can’t believe I did that, after everything I just let you go, I ended it, pushed you away, I will regret that for the rest of my life.”_

_“Always know you are still my best friend, I will still be here for you, I told you I would fight for you, this is the only way I know how. I love you Blaine, more today than yesterday. I miss you. I miss us, God. I can’t believe how badly I screwed everything up, and oh how bad this hurts.”_

Blaine watched it three times before stumbling back over to where he had left the bottle; he poured himself another glass and downed it before refilling his glass and doing it again.

He apparently hadn’t turned the video off and realized it only when it switched to Zedd’s Clarity. He didn’t even pay it any attention until he heard…

_Hold still right before we crash_   
_'Cause we both know how this ends_   
_A clock ticks till it breaks your glass_   
_And I drown in you again_   
_'Cause you are the piece of me_   
_I wish I didn't need_   
_Chasing relentlessly_   
_Still fight and I don't know why_   
_If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?_   
_If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?_

Blaine picked up the now half-empty bottle of bourbon and throws it and watches as it smashed against the wall, liquor, and glass flying everywhere, and he just can’t bring himself to care, as he slowly slides down to the floor, before completely falling apart.

oOoOo

Bryce was bored; he had really expected Blaine to ask him out tonight. They had gone out together the last 2 Friday nights, and Bryce assumed they would tonight as well, but Blaine hadn’t asked him, and he still wasn’t comfortable enough yet to ask Blaine.

Blaine had had a short schedule today; he was only in one scene. Normally on days like that, he would stay on set and watch as everyone else did theirs, but today he had walked off the set and left not really saying anything to either Cooper or him, nothing.

Bryce had gone up to Cooper to ask if something was wrong, and he looked as confused as Bryce was. He had no idea, Blaine hadn’t said anything, but he wasn’t acting right. So, Bryce went home, hoping when Blaine was ready, he would call.

He was flipping through TV channels trying to come up with something to watch, but after scrolling through all his channels twice, he gave up. Nothing grabbed his attention, so he walked up to his laptop and decided to update his Twitter feed, and then he remembers something Blaine had said to him the night they had their talk about YouTube and cheerleaders.

He quickly pulls up YouTube and then racks his brain, trying to remember the name of the school he said he went to at the time, and for the life of him can’t remember, he does, however, remember him talking about the Dalton Academy Warblers. He types that in and then can do nothing but grin at all the videos listed.

He played through everyone that showed Blaine in the thumbnail, not believing how wonderful his voice was. He watches through Raise your glass, misery, bills, bills, bills, laughs when he sees the Warblers at what can only be the Gap, watching as Blaine follows a curly head man around the store, singing ‘When I Get You Alone,’ and then almost cries when he watches ‘Somewhere only we know,’ seeing the look of sadness on Blaine’s face as he looks at a boy that could only have been Kurt, you could feel the love he had, and Bryce once again can’t understand how Kurt had just walked away.

That video led him to the channel where it was posted, and Bryce did cry. The name of the channel was simply titled “Somewhere Only We Know.” On this channel, he saw nothing but video after video of Blaine.

The channel information said, "This channel is dedicated to the one I let go, the one I pushed away, the one I hurt. Blaine, I love you, always have always will. You are my best friend, and I told you I would fight for you. When we broke up the first time, you fought to get me back. This is my way of fighting for you.

What hurts the most, and makes him finally understand why Blaine acted the way he did today was the video that had been uploaded this morning at 8 am, after Blaine would have been on set. It was simply titled Our Anniversary. He watched it. Today, if they had made it, they would have been together for four years. Bryce hurts for him.

He looks through a few of the other videos that Kurt had posted on his channel, videos of them doing duets together, at what looked like a high school, and then he saw one labeled proposal. He clicked on the link and watched Blaine propose to Kurt in the most beautiful way possible, surrounded by friends. They had both looked so happy, and Blaine had looked so beyond in love. Bryce once again wonders how someone could have just walked away from something like that, true he only had Blaine’s side of what happened, but judging from that video, they had both been very much in love. The last one he watched caught his attention because he saw one of his favorite actress’s June Dolloway.

He watched as Blaine sang with her, and was in such awe of him, but what got his attention was when he sang American Boy with Kurt, they were amazing together.

He watched, as while they were singing, they walked out to the audience and started pulling people from the crowd, and that is when he recognizes two of them, one he had seen on billboard’s top ten Mercedes Jones, and then Rachel Berry who he had seen in a magazine, talking about her upcoming opening night performance of Fanny Brice. He knew Blaine had said he drunk kissed a Rachel Berry, but he never put two and two together to realize it was _THAT_ Rachel Berry.

He sits back and wonders if he should show this to Blaine, let him know that Kurt was still thinking about him, and in a way fighting for him. He really doesn’t know. He was starting to have feelings for Blaine, what if he shows him and he decides to go back with Kurt. He doesn’t know what to do.

The decision, however, is taken out of his hands the following Monday morning, he hadn’t talked to Blaine at all that weekend, and was really worried about him, and he also hadn’t seen him on set yet today. He knows his first scene of the day wasn’t until after lunch, but he still figured he would come out and talk to Cooper if not to him, but he still hadn’t seen him.

He had finally found the cheerleading videos that Blaine had talked about and watched them and had brought his laptop with him today, thinking that if he got bored, he could just watch some more videos. He had just pulled up the one where Kurt was telling Blaine Happy Anniversary ….

“What are you looking at?” Blaine asked in a not so happy sounding voice from behind him.

“I found this Friday and wanted to show you,” Bryce said, feeling stupid for letting Blaine see it.

“Oh trust me, I saw it when I got home Friday my inbox was full of emails from my “_friends_” telling me to check out that fucking video as if Friday wasn’t going to be bad enough already.”

“What my ex failed to post in his little speech was how he pushed me away when he first moved to New York, how he decided to stop answering my calls, my texts. There was no one there recording when he blew up at me because "_I could have asked his permission before deciding to make changes to his home."_

“He also failed to post the night he broke up with me for no fucking reason at all. Because ya know what he sure as hell wasn’t recording that shit”, no those “**_precious”_** moments were between him and me. You won’t see any of that on there.”

“I can’t believe you of all people are sitting there watching that shit, after everything I told you, you know what fuck it,” Blaine says walking away, leaving Bryce sitting there with his mouth hanging open. He had never seen Blaine angry before and didn’t even know how to begin to fix this.

oOoOo

Blaine hurt oh god he hurt, first dealing with friends sending him reminders of just how bad his life sucked, but to walk out and see Bryce watching it, was just too much. The only way he had gotten through Friday and the weekend was knowing he would see Bryce today. He would be able to hold him again. He couldn’t over the weekend, he couldn’t hold him with Kurt so heavy on his mind, but Blaine knew he would see him here today. But when he walked up and saw him watching that video, it had hit him all over again, and he had just blown up at him. That was why he hadn’t wanted to see Bryce over the weekend because Blaine knew until he had shaken off all the bad feeling he had for Kurt again, he wouldn’t be good company and would say something he wouldn’t mean and would regret it, and that is precisely what he had done.

Blaine stayed in his trailer until he was called on the set for his scene, luckily today, once again, none of them were with Bryce they were with Cooper, and Cooper knew Blaine well enough to know what he needed to do to push Blaine through it. His performance was flawless, not a mistake made, when they were done Cooper pulled him into a hug before walking off the set with him, arms wrapped around him, taking him to his trailer and then holding him as Blaine fell apart. Cooper had been waiting for it since he saw Blaine blow up on Bryce, knowing that it had nothing to do with Bryce himself, but also knowing that Blaine had to let go, he had to get the anger out. Hopefully, he didn’t just end something that Cooper was sure was perfect for Blaine.

Once Blaine pulls himself together, Cooper drives him to his house, hands him a bottle and a glass, and sits back as Blaine tells him what had happened, what had caused the blow-up, and finally asking how he could fix this.

A/N: I don't own glee or either of the songs mentioned in my story. This is unbeta'd so any mistakes are of my own making. Please review, and thanks for reading.


	5. Sorry seems to be the hardest word

A/N:

This is still un-beta'd, so as usual, any mistakes are mine to claim. Thanks for the reviews I have received.

oOoOo

Blaine only drank one glass of liquor while he was at Cooper's, knowing he needed to apologize very badly to someone that didn't deserve what had happened. Blaine's feeling's had still been so raw, he had taken his emotions out on the wrong person, and he knew he needed to apologize for it soon. He needed to fix it if that was even possible.

Blaine talked to Cooper until 9:30 knowing it was late, he still needed to talk to Bryce, to try to make up for what he had done, still not even sure where that had come from. Blaine had never lost his head like that before, not even with Kurt. The closest thing had been when he had almost gotten into a fight with Sam in the McKinley choir room when he had first transferred in. Blaine didn't have a temper. Cooper drove Blaine back to the fox lot so that he could get his car, and then wished him luck.

Blaine pulled up outside of Bryce's apartment, thankfully he had been here a few times, so the guards at the security desk in the apartment complex recognized him. Blaine was glad when they just waved him on instead of calling Bryce to be buzzed up. He didn't want to give Bryce time to know he was coming up, not wanting to give him a chance not to want to see him. Blaine needed to apologize and see if he could fix what he had done.

He rode the elevator to the fifth floor, got out and turned left and stood in front of 504, just standing there, not yet having built up the nerve to ring the bell. He stands there for ten minutes before he is finally able to raise his hand and push the button. Blaine waits for ten more minutes waiting to see if Bryce would answer, almost afraid that he won’t, that he’ll decide that Blaine wasn’t worth the trouble. When Bryce still doesn’t answer, Blaine tries it one more time, figuring that either Bryce wasn’t home or he was standing behind the door, looking through the peephole, not wanting to see him.

Blaine hopes that it is just he isn't home, that he isn't just ignoring him, not that he would blame him if he were. Blaine slides down the wall and sits down beside Bryce's door the way Bryce had done the second time he had come over, and Blaine hadn't been home yet. He sits there for about thirty minutes and is about to give up and go home when he hears the elevator beep, letting him know someone was getting off the elevator on this floor.

Blaine just waited and hoped, his head leaned back against the wall, eyes closed. He opens them when he hears Bryce say, "Hi."

"Hi," Blaine said in a low sad voice, looking up at him. "I was hoping I could talk to you a minute. I know it’s late, and I promise I won't stay long, I just really needed to talk to you."

Bryce stands there for a few minutes looking at him, his head tilted sideways before making his decision and opens the door, and then stands back and lets Blaine stand up and walk in. Blaine had picked Bryce up from here for their dates before, but hadn't been inside. Looking around, he loves it. It just looks like somewhere Bryce would live.

Bryce led him over to the couch, and they both sat down, Blaine sitting on the very edge of the cushion elbows bent resting on his knees, he rests his head on his folded hands, trying to figure out where to even start. He had thought about it from the moment he had blown up at Bryce, and still hadn't thought of a good excuse. So he just decided to tell the truth.

Blaine took a deep breath and then released it with a sigh, looking at Bryce before reaching out and grabbing his hand, and then looking him in the eyes. "I owe you an apology. From the video you saw, I guess you could tell Friday would have been our fourth anniversary, and even though we had broken up once before, somehow we were always together on that day, _always, _this was the first year we weren't."

"I'm not going to try to make excuses for how I acted, because there is no excuse. You didn't deserve that. You didn't do anything other than watch a video. I need to apologize for that. We had been doing so well, I felt we were heading towards something, building something, and I just hope you can forgive me so we can continue to move forward. I feel like we can have something special between us. I just hope you can still give me a chance."

"I know you are probably as tired of hearing about Kurt as I am talking about him. I am going to try to make this the last time we ever talk about him again. I only want to talk about us," Blaine said, quickly leaning in and kissing Bryce before he continues.

"So, Friday started off bad anyways. I knew the whole day would be off, that is why when I finished my last shot of the day, I left. I couldn't be around anyone then, I needed to be alone and process everything I was feeling."

"Last week, because I had a feeling how Friday would go, I had asked Cooper to buy me a bottle of Jack Daniels. I have never been a big drinker, I have already told you how it went the last time I got drunk, but I hoped this time it might just help me forget. I had drunk half the bottle before something happened, and I threw it against the wall and smashed it into a million pieces."

"I need you to know I am not a violent person, and I don't just lose my temper like that. To be honest, other than the two arguments Kurt and I had after we got back together and I moved in with him, we had never really fought. We had minor disagreements, but no real fights. That is why when it happened, when he had exploded the way he did, I was so very unprepared."

"That wasn't how our relationship had been, we talked through everything, we had calm conversations, and maybe a few tears, but we never raised our voices, we had never needed to. I'm not saying we always got along, we had the normal couple spats and disagreements, but never a fight, even with the first break up. We never even raised our voices; we just both cried and went our separate ways."

"Like I was saying, when I came in from work Friday I was having a really bad time of it. I had thought of a video I wanted to see. I pulled up my laptop and ended up getting twenty email alerts from my friends from The New Directions and the Warblers group I was in high school with. Every single one of those emails had a YouTube link to that video you were watching when I walked in."

"To be honest, I felt like I was hit in the gut. Friday was already bad enough, but for each one of my friends to send me an email with that link, it was almost like everyone reminded me of how much I lost, what I had walked away from. I know how that sounds, and I still stand by that decision as something I had to do for myself. The thing is, they all know we broke up again, but none of them, other than Rachel, knows why. Kurt told her when he followed her to Lima. I heard from Wes on Saturday. He was one of my friends from the Warblers. He said that he just thought it was a lovers' quarrel, and maybe if I saw the video, it might help us settle things again. None of them could believe it when we broke the first time."

"You have to understand, when Kurt and I were at Dalton, if you saw Kurt, you saw me, and vice versa. As far as everyone thought, myself included, we were perfect for each other. We were the only couple that never fought. We were the only high school romance that they just knew would make it until we didn't. Sunday, I heard from Kurt's stepbrother Finn. He and I had become friends when I transferred to McKinley. He told me that Kurt really had it bad, that he was crying all the time. He said he didn't know what happened, but could I possibly try to forgive Kurt. He knew how much we loved each other."

"So, I had Friday, a day from hell with every one of my friends reminding me just how bad my life sucked, sorry," he said quickly, looking at Bryce. "But then with Wes and Finn calling me, it was just too much. The bad thing was that all weekend I kept just waiting for today, because today I was going to be able to see you, today I would be able to hug you again, and instead I just blew up at you. It seemed like everything piled in on me, after the emails, and Wes and Finn calling me, I was on edge fighting my feelings. I broke down and told Finn, why we weren't together, what had happened. The only thing I could think of to get me through the weekend was that I was going to be able to hold you again, that is what got me through this weekend looking forward to just being able to put everything behind me and just be with you, and then I saw you watching that video. It was like it hit me all over again.”

"I am so, so sorry Bryce and I just hope you can forgive me, I can promise you that nothing like that will ever happen again, I want to try to make what we started work, I just hope this doesn't push you away, that you can give me another chance to show you." Blaine finally gets the courage to look at Bryce and saw that he was smiling.

"I'm sorry to Blaine, I had found that video and thought about showing you, but then was worried that if you knew he was fighting for you, you might decide to go back with him, to get back together, I should never have played it on set, I should have just watched it in my trailer, that was personal, even though it was on YouTube, it was between you and him. I should never have played it in a public area, that wasn't fair to you."

"I had actually brought my laptop in because I had found a lot of videos of you, including the cheerleading ones you talked about and figured that would keep me occupied while you were shooting your scenes." He said with a small smile before leaning over and placing a soft kiss on Blaine's lips

"You are forgiven, as long as you promise never to let it happen again," he said, trying to make a scary face.

Blaine just smiled really big before pulling Bryce into his arms, the one thing he had looked forward to all weekend "That is a promise I will gladly make" Blaine said softly before standing up, pulling Bryce with him and back into his arms, holding him tight for a minute before kissing him once again, slowly sliding his tongue into Bryce's mouth deepening the kiss, cupping his face in his hands, standing as close to him as he could, so enjoying the warmth from his body.

"I need to head home," Blaine said, placing another soft kiss on Bryce's lips. "I will see you tomorrow for the production meeting, and maybe if you are interested, we can spend some time together after work, so I can really make it up to you," Blaine said kissing him again, sliding his hands down his sides and then pulling his hips closer.

"I would like that," Bryce said with a smile.

Blaine reached out and hugged him one more time before whispering "thank you for giving me another chance" in his ear

"You have nothing to thank me for, I will see you in the morning, be careful driving home," Bryce said, walking him to the door.

"Night honey," Blaine said, leaning over to place a kiss on Bryce's cheek, rubbing it with his thumb looking him in the eyes, knowing he would never get enough of him, placing one more quick kiss on his lips, before walking out the door and heading home, feeling ten times better than he did when he walked in.

oOoOo

Blaine went home after talking to Bryce and pulled up his laptop again. He just needed to see that video one more time before he could move on, he was so ready to move on, put everything behind him, close that chapter of his life, for good this time. He had honestly thought he had. Blaine liked where things were heading with Bryce, the relationship they were building. He figured seeing Kurt's video one more time would help get him off of his mind. What he wasn't expecting was when YouTube pulled up; it wasn't on Kurt's page.

Apparently, in the midst of his breakdown, Blaine had created a page of his own. He had named it "What Do You Want From Me?" and in the description of the page, it simply said.

_So what do you want from me_   
_What do you want from me_   
_Just don't give up_   
_I'm workin' it out_   
_Please don't give in_   
_I won't let you down_   
_It messed me up,_   
_Need a second to breathe_   
_Just keep coming around_   
_Hey, what do you want from me?_   
_What do you want from me?_

The bad thing is that standing here now looking at it, Blaine doesn't know who he had posted it for Kurt or Bryce. He didn't even remember setting up the page, recording himself playing that song on his keyboard, singing into the camera, before uploading that video. Blaine didn't remember any of it. The song could have been for both, but in his heart, he knows, he just knows who he had been thinking of, and Blaine wants to cry. The one good thing he can say about his voice was that even though he was drunk, you couldn't tell it listening to him. Blaine could see the tears that had been floating in his eyes; he could also see the sadness, the pain, wondering again when the pain would stop if ever.

Blaine hoped no one else saw it, that no one found this channel. He hated that he had felt at the time a need to do it, to set this page up, to post what he posted, but he just couldn't pull it down. Until he was able to figure things out, until he was ready to say goodbye one way or the other, it would stay up.

He then made the mistake of re-watching Kurt's video, listening to what he said, listening to the words Blaine _SO _wanted to hear. Hearing that voice, Kurt's beautiful voice saying "I love you" one more time, and that he was missed. Blaine had thought watching it again, that he would be able to move on, it hit him just how wrong he was. Instead, he just cried for things lost, things missed, for the love of his life. He still loved Kurt, and he knew it, he was just scared. Blaine had been hurt twice by the person he loved the most in the world, could he handle it if it happened again. He honestly didn't think he could. This last time had almost destroyed him. But honestly, could he live without him. That was a question he needed to work out.

Blaine watched through a lot of the videos that Kurt had posted. There were several of their old duets. When he saw "Perfect," he could do nothing but stare. They had looked so in love _Kurt _had looked so in love. All of a sudden, he has memories flashing, back, things he has almost forgotten.

The day he had convinced Kurt _he_ was ready to go, _he_ was meant for New York. He didn't belong in Lima. Looking back on how that had turned out, Blaine knows he would have still done the exact same thing, would have encouraged Kurt to take that leap, to go where they both knew he had always been meant to be. Blaine had always wanted the best for Kurt, even when the best thing for Kurt turned out not to be him.

Blaine laughs as he remembers singing "I'm never changing who I am" for Kurt, doing the cups with the cheerleaders, back when he had still believed Kurt when he had said "_I'm never going to say goodbye to you," Blain__e_ had believed that they would be ok. Kurt hadn't technically said goodbye. He had just pulled away and left Blaine floating and lost, feeling numb for so long he had just wanted to feel again, and he had messed up.

Blaine smiles, remembering when Kurt, Mercedes, Mike, and himself had had coffee at the Lima Bean when they were still broken up but were working on being friends again. He had looked at Kurt and told him "_You look cute today, and I mean dirty cute, "_ Blaine can only laugh now because he doesn't even know what that had meant, but he had remembered that one of the issues they had had Kurt's senior year was that Blaine didn't compliment him anymore. At that moment, it had just felt right to say that.

Blaine remembers the look he had seen on Kurt's face at Scandals when he had told him he was dating someone else, only to then have to tell Kurt that that someone was Dave. The sadness on Kurt’s face before he was able to bring his emotions under control, and act like he was happy for him, but Blaine had seen the look of devastation he tried to hide as he walked away to the bathroom, and a little part of Blaine's heart had broken. He might have still been a little mad at Kurt, still might have been hurt by what had happened, by what he had done, but Blaine still loved him, that hadn't changed, and the thought of him hurting had hurt Blaine more than he would have ever admitted, to anyone, even himself.

His next thought was of the time he and Kurt had been trapped in the elevator at McKinley when Sue had tried to "_help_" them get back together. When the stupid Sue doll had come back in riding a tricycle Blaine's first instinct had been to jump up in front of Kurt, he had always wanted to protect him, always needed to make sure he was safe. He had finally slid further down the wall, realizing there was no reason to protect him anymore Kurt didn't need or want him to. Kurt didn't need anything from Blaine now. That thought had hurt, and if he was perfectly honest, it still did. He didn't know if he wanted to be in a world where _his _Kurt no longer needed him.

Another memory had him standing up and heading into his bedroom. He pulls out a box from the top shelf of his closet that he had brought with him from Westerville. It was all the stuff he still had from his senior year at McKinley all his old memories, there, on the bottom of the box was his scrapbook. The one he had started putting together when he and Kurt had first become a couple.

Blaine carries it into the living room and sits down with it on the couch. He had never shared it with anyone, no one but him had ever seen it. Blaine remembers when he had come home from New York after telling Kurt what he had done, that he had been with someone else, Blaine had put in a napkin from CallBacks where he sang his song that had made Kurt realize there was something wrong. He had the receipt from the valentine's day they had spent together; he had bought Kurt a coffee and a cupid cookie that they had shared at the Lima Bean remembering how shocked Kurt had been that Blaine had remembered his coffee order. He had put it into his wallet and kept it, unlike every other receipt he had thrown away, he had held on to that one for some reason.

On the next page was the first note they had ever passed during one of the many classes they had together at Dalton, rereading it with a smile. Remembering the beginning stages of their relationship, sometimes wishing they could just go back. Also in the book are some of their pictures, them at both proms, them on their first official date as boyfriends. A copy of the black and white picture he had left in the loft in New York. A picture of them standing side by side, Kurt in his cap and gown and Blaine standing beside him looking so proud.

A picture that had been taken of himself and Kurt when he had said yes. Sam had managed to snap a picture of him, sliding the ring on Kurt's finger. He still had some of the rose petals in his hair that had drifted down from above them.

Blaine had put in a playbill from grease. Even though he had, had a small part, Kurt had shown up, he had been there. Not for Blaine per se' for every one of his friends, but he was there. Blaine had put in it the receipt where he had bought Kurt his engagement ring. Remembering back, thinking about how happy he had been then, and putting in that receipt only after Kurt had said yes, it makes Blaine wonder what Kurt did with the ring when he broke up with him. Did he keep it or throw it away. The thought of that makes him sad, yes, they were no longer engaged or even a couple, but that ring had meant something, stood for something important, even if only to him.

The last thing he had ever put in that scrapbook was the receipt from the Strand, the motel he had stayed at the night Kurt had broken up with him, that and his ticket home from New York. After that, there had been nothing else to put in it. There was no longer a Kurt and Blaine to keep memories of. There was nothing left to save. Blaine quietly closes the book, stands up, and carries it back to his room, once again putting it in the bottom of that box and putting everything else on top of it, then putting it back on the top shelf of his closet, closing the closet door and walking away.

Before he realized it was midnight, and he had to be at the lot in the morning at 4:30 for a pre-production meeting, wondering what this one was about. Usually, those were scheduled on Fridays. Even though he knew he should be going to bed, Blaine knew he wouldn't be sleeping tonight. His feelings were still so raw again.

Blaine pulls his keyboard out again, sets up his camera one more time before posting one more video to his channel. Words floating through his head that he had to get out if he had even a prayer of sleeping at all. Hearing the song "Say Something" by A Great Big World and Christina Aguilera. In a way saying goodbye.

_And I_   
_Will stumble and fall_   
_I'm still learning to love_   
_Just starting to crawl_   
_Say something, I'm giving up on you_   
_I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you_   
_Anywhere, I would've followed you_   
_Say something. I'm giving up on you_   
_And I_   
_Will swallow my pride_   
_You're the one that I love_   
_And I'm saying goodbye_

By the time Blaine finished the song, he had tears running down his face, but he felt better. He felt like he was ready to try to move on. He was going to concentrate on him and Bryce, on trying to build a relationship with him. Yes, Blaine knew he still very much loved Kurt, but just like that scrapbook, he needed to close that book again, put it back on the shelf where it belonged. No more memories to add to it, nothing left to save.

People in love, break up, move on, and find someone new. He knew what he needed to do, he did, but why did it have to hurt so very much.

Before heading to bed, Blaine set his computer to upload his video, the last one he will post, and then went to bed to sleep for three hours. Ready to close out that chapter and move on.

A/N Two: I don't own the writes to the songs in this chapter they belong to Adam Lambert and Pink for "Whataya Want From Me", and A Great Big World,and Christina Aguilera for "Say Something" (if you have never heard this song before check it out on YouTube, it is beautiful). I just really love both of them


	6. Date Night

oOoOo

Blaine’s alarm went off at 3:45 am, and he feels like he had just gotten to sleep. He gets up and heads to the shower to get ready for his day. Looking in the mirror, Blaine can see slight dark circles under his eyes. The makeup women were going to have a field day with him. They had themselves convinced that he had some wild nightlife. Blaine has to laugh, because most of the time he is in his apartment at 9, studying lines for the next day.

Blaine remembers that he has a date with Bryce tonight and can’t help but smile, glad that they had worked everything out last night, even though Blaine got very little sleep, he felt good for the first time in a long time. Blaine knew he was going to be dragging today at work and then tonight on his date, but he had just needed to watch Kurt’s video one more time. He had to let it go, and by watching Kurt’s video and then posting his own, Blaine felt like he had. Yes, he still loves Kurt and knows he always will, but now he feels like he can move forward with Bryce, and hopefully build something with him, finally let go.

When Blaine gets to the lot at 4:15 and Cooper is already there, sitting in the makeup chair talking. He looks up, sees the dark circles under Blaine’s eyes, and just smiles real big. “Late night again, squirt?” he said, laughing, raising his eyebrows up and down suggestively before getting out of the chair and letting Blaine sit down.

“Hmm, wouldn’t you like to know,” Blaine said, batting his eyes, giving Cooper a dreamy look before sighing.

“Wouldn’t he like to know what?” Bryce asked, walking up to Blaine, kissing him.

Blaine tried his best not to jump back, but he did pull away slightly. He closed his eyes so that the makeup lady could use the concealer to cover up the dark circles under his eyes, completely missing the hurt look that crossed Bryce’s face because of it.

“I think I’ll go to wardrobe first,” Bryce whispered before looking once more at Blaine and turning around and walking out.

“Squirt, are you ok?” Cooper asked him.

“Yeah, why,” Blaine answers, not opening his eyes.

“You just pulled away from Bryce, is something going on, did he do something wrong,” Cooper said, looking at him concerned.

“_Shit_… No, can I talk to you when we get out of here?” Blaine said, not wanting to have this conversation around other people.

When they left makeup, and before heading to wardrobe, Blaine pulled Cooper to an empty conference room so they can talk.

“Ok, Blaine, seriously, what happened? I think you really hurt Bryce’s feeling. He kissed you, and you pulled away from him. Are you mad or upset with him?” Cooper asked, looking concerned.

“Man….. It’s nothing like that. How do I even say this, explain this? Ok, when you lived in Ohio you were fine, you were straight you could hold hands, hug and kiss someone and not have to worry about it. Things were different for me. Look what happened after that dance, and that was just two friends going together to a school function. We didn’t do anything but dance, and we both got attacked. Can you imagine if we had been seen doing anything else?.”

“Kurt got attacked daily at school for being gay. He was slammed into lockers, thrown in a dumpster, and had food and slushies thrown at him so much he had to keep extra clothes in his locker so he would have something to change into, and right before he transferred to Dalton, his life was threatened.”

“When things like that happen, it makes it harder to be open about things, yes, I am out, and I am proud, I’m not hiding who I am, or what I am, but I learned the hard way how to act in a public place. Some things I just prefer to keep private.” Blaine said, sitting down in one of the conference chairs, leaning his head back.

For someone who had never experienced homophobia, it is hard to make them understand. How even though you wanted to hold the hand of your partner, you wanted just to lean in and kiss them, hold them whenever you wanted to, the way hetero couples can, you learn quickly it isn’t safe. Even though people are more accepting now than when he was in school, it was still scary, when you live through that, you learn it is just better to keep it private. He and Kurt had never been demonstrative in public even in New York, where it was so much more accepted, thinking back to the day Kurt ended up in the hospital beaten up for being gay and trying to help someone else.

It still brings a tear to his eyes, remembering how bad he had looked, still remembering the worst call he had ever gotten, the night the hospital called to let him know Kurt had been brought in badly beaten, having to call Burt then and let him know what happened until someone lived through something like that they couldn’t understand.

“I knew about the dance, what happened to you. I didn’t know what Kurt went through. I’m sorry, Blaine. I’m sorry it has been so hard for you, just to be able to be who you are and love who you want. I think though you need to explain this to Bryce, you need to make him understand why you feel like you do,” Cooper said before pulling Blaine out of his chair and hugging him. “I love you, little brother.”

“Thanks, love you too. I know I need to talk to Bryce. Do you think I will ever go a day where I don’t screw something up with him?” Blaine said softly, heading to wardrobe to get ready for today’s shoots and the production meeting.

When he walks on set where everyone was standing around waiting for the producer and director to come in, he looked around and didn’t see Bryce anywhere. When he finally walked in, he went and stood with Ali Roth instead of coming over to him. He also noticed how Bryce refused to look at him. Shit, he had messed up again.

“Ok, I want to thank everyone for being here early, we have some exciting news. We heard from the network, and we have a time slot set for “South of Always.” The pilot will air this Friday at 9. We will wrap our sixth episode tomorrow. So after tomorrow, everyone will have a month off, and then if the pilot goes as well as we hope it will, we will be back in here shooting again. I want to thank everyone for the wonderful work you have been doing and plan on being back on set and ready to go in a month. You will receive an email letting you know when and what time you are needed back on set. Enjoy your vacation, rest up, and be ready to come back and kick-ass.”

“We will have a public screening Friday at The Rose theater, a small event that we hope you will all be able to attend, with a production party after, so get your tux’s and fancy dresses out, and have fun.”

“What does all that mean?” Blaine asked Cooper looking confused.

“This is normal. Anytime they start a new series, they film anywhere for six to seven episodes and a pilot. The network decides when the pilot will air, and the time slot it will be given. Nine on a Friday night is great, that means they believe in it. So Friday it will air and depending on audience response they will either air the shows already filmed or decide to renew for the rest of the season” Cooper said not even looking nervous, this was nothing new for him, so that made Blaine feel better.

“Well, I think I need to go once again have a talk with Bryce, am I ever going to get this right? Blaine asked with a sigh, walking away though he had to wonder why this had to be so hard; with Kurt, it had always been so easy.

“Bryce, can I talk to you a minute?” Blaine asked after waiting for Bryce and Ali to stop talking. When Bryce nodded his head, Blaine started walking towards his trailer with Bryce following him, wanting somewhere private for this conversation. He opened the door and stood back to let Bryce in. Once he shuts the door, he reaches down to hold Bryce’s hand and guides him over to the small couch that had been put in for him.

Once Bryce sat down, he looked at Blaine with his big brown eyes looking so sad, it hurt Blaine to look at him “Do I embarrass you, are you embarrassed to let people know we date?” Bryce whispered.

“No, sweetie no. That is why I brought you here. I wanted to talk to you for a minute,” Blaine said, sitting down beside him. Blaine reached his hand out, so he was cupping Bryce's cheek, and then leans in and gives him the kiss he has wanted to all morning.

“I need to tell you a story,” Blaine said, looking over at Bryce, hoping to make him understand what happened. “As you know, I was born and grew up in Westerville, Ohio. When I was sixteen, I went to Carson High school. I loved it there. I had a lot of good friends. That year I had decided to come out. I had already told my parents and Cooper, they were shocked and confused, and I just knew I had lost them.”

“I sat on that couch, waiting for yelling, screaming, and cursing from my dad and tears from my mom. They sat there quietly, not saying anything for a few minutes that felt more like hours. They finally looked at each other and then at me and let me know that no matter what they loved me, it didn’t change anything”.

“My dad did, however, take me out to the garage to help him rebuild a 59’ Chevy that summer. He wanted to bond with me and didn’t really know how. That turned out to be my birthday present that year from him, that and my Audi,” Blaine said with a soft smile thinking back on that memory and loving his dad more.

“But anyway, I decided to come out at school that year, like I said I had a lot of good friends and I felt comfortable. They all seemed to be ok with it, well, everyone but my best friend at the time Ben. He never talked to me again. I was hurt more than you will ever know. He was the one person I just knew would be there for me. I was one of the only openly gay people at school. That year this guy named Shawn transferred in, he was gay, and we became friends fast. It never became more than friendship for either of us, but it was nice to have someone to talk to, to confide in, you know.”

“That year they had decided to have a Sadie Hawkins dance, I asked Shawn to go with me, he agreed, and we went as friends. We had a blast. I had more fun that night than I ever had, just hanging out with him and my other friends. It wasn’t until we were leaving that the problems started, while we were waiting for his dad to come to pick us up we were jumped and beaten up, Shawn worse than me.”

“The worst part was the main person kicking and stomping us was Ben, with every stomp and kick we were called a fag or fairy. They just kept kicking us until someone came out and ran them off. We were both taken to the hospital; I ended up with contusions all over my face, a broken wrist, and several broken ribs. Shawn was worse. He ended up with a skull fracture, a broken arm, and leg that required surgery. He never talked to me again after that.”

“My parents transferred me to Dalton Academy after that. They had a zero-tolerance, anti-bullying policy. It was a boarding school, but since I lived so close, I still went home after school every day. I loved it there. It was safe. I tried out for the Warblers and became their lead soloist.”

“Now, even though I said we wouldn’t talk about Kurt anymore, I need to add him to this story because he has a part in it as well,” Blaine said, taking a deep breath and letting it out with a sigh.

“Kurt was the only openly gay kid at his school. He was thrown into a dumpster almost every day for a year by two of the guys on his school’s football team. One of whom two years later became his stepbrother and one of my good friends Finn. Once they had stopped doing that, Kurt’s life got a little easier until that is the beginning of his junior year. A new jock transferred into school, and life became even worse for Kurt. He was pushed into lockers, what they called a locker check at McKinley. He ended up with bruises all over his arms and back, but wouldn’t tell his dad because the year before his dad had had a massive heart attack and Kurt was afraid if he said anything then it would cause his dad to get sick again so he just took it.”

“When he wasn’t getting locker checks, he was getting slushies thrown in his face. He had to keep several changes of clothes in his locker. I thought the names I was called at Carson were bad, but they were nothing compared to the ones Kurt had to hear.”

“The day after I met him, he called me crying. He had finally had enough of the jerk harassing him. It would seem Kurt had been thrown into the lockers four different times that day by that same jock. Kurt followed him into the boy’s locker room and confronted him, asking him what his problem was. The guy kissed him. He stole Kurt’s first kiss. It would seem that he was gay and didn’t know how to express himself. The next day he threatened Kurt’s life if he said anything. Kurt’s dad finally saw the bruises and Kurt had to tell Burt everything, even the death threat. The next week Kurt was transferred to Dalton.

“And yes, the guy who did it did become my boyfriend for a while when I moved back to Westerville. He had changed, he realized what he had done and had apologized to Kurt for it. Ok, my story is almost done,” Blaine said, looking at Bryce, hoping he will understand. “When I moved to New York, Kurt and I were able to be a little freer, we still didn’t go around kissing in public or anything like that, but I would occasionally hold his hand or put my hand on his back as we walked somewhere. One night I got a call from the local hospital. Kurt had been brought in beaten up badly by some guys because he was gay. He was in the hospital for three days. Kurt had been trying to help someone else who was getting beaten up at the time.”

“When you grow up in a homophobic place like Ohio, you learn to keep things private, especially after what the two of us went through. Leaving Ohio, we thought everything would be better, we were in a big city like New York, it was supposed to be so diverse, we could be safe there, but that night we learned that when you’re gay and out, there wasn’t really anywhere safe.”

“I know things are different in California, I know they are, and I am trying I really am. I didn’t mean to pull away from you. I’m definitely not embarrassed to be seen with you, to be with you at all. It’s just going to take me time.” Blaine said, wrapping his arms around Bryce and resting his head on his shoulder. “I know you are probably tired of hearing me say I am sorry, but I am. Can you give me one more second chance, ” he asked, and then he felt Bryce rub his hand up his back and up to his head, kissing him softly.

“I would be happy too. Now that I know why you pulled away I understand. I’ll try to give you space when we’re in public, but all bets are off when we are somewhere private,” Bryce said before leaning in and kissing Blaine with everything he had. He had just reached up to unbutton Blaine’s shirt when there was a knock on the door, letting them know they were needed on set.

“Rain check tonight?” Blaine asked, standing up. They both straightened their clothes and then adjusted themselves with a smile. Bryce had managed to get him so hard with just that one kiss. This was going to be a long day.

oOoOo

Blaine had just finished one of his scenes with Cooper when he heard his name screamed. He turned around just in time to have one Rachel Berry slam into him, hugging him.

“What are you doing here?” Blaine asked her, laughing, hugging her back and placing a kiss on her cheek, smiling from ear to ear.

“I had an interview next door and heard that one of my old school friends was in this studio filming a show. Why didn’t you let any of us know Blaine? This is awesome,” She said before pulling him back into a hug.

“It just happened really quick. Cooper got me an audition, and it just went from there, our pilot actually airs this Friday at nine” Blaine said grinning at her. He had so missed her.

“Oh wow, ” she said, looking at him. She linked her arm through his and walked away from everyone wanting to talk to him a minute in private.

“So, how are you doing, really? I have been so worried about you. You just disappeared. One day you were with the Warblers, and the next you were gone. Are you ok?” she asked, concerned.

“I’m getting there, Rach, but it has been rough. I had to get away, we were just always running into each other, and it hurt to see him and not be with him anymore. I had to leave. It was killing me,” Blaine whispered, hurting so bad thinking about _HIM_ again.

“He is the same way you are, Blaine. He won’t talk to anyone. He doesn’t go anywhere. Once we went back to school, he stopped doing anything. He stopped working with Elliott and the band. He concentrates only on school. He is miserable too. Don’t you think there is any way you guys can work this out? We all have always known you two belong together. If anyone does, it is the two of you.” she said sadly.

“Rach, I still love him as much now as I ever have, but this last breakup shook me to my core. It was out of the blue, and so unexpected. I thought we were fine, and then we were over. I don’t think I could handle that again. I really don’t, ” he said with a small tear running down his cheek

“So, how long are you in town for?” Blaine asks her, trying to shake once again the feelings the conversation had brought on.

“I’m on a flight in an hour. I just wanted to come over and talk to you. I won’t mention anything anymore, but is it ok if I let him know I saw you. You are my friend to Blaine, so if you don’t want him to know, I won’t say anything.” Rachel said, heartbroken for two people she loved.

Blaine looked up and noticed Bryce looking at him with a concerned look on his face talking to Cooper.

“Yeah, it’s ok if you tell him,” Blaine said, looking at her a minute. “Can you do me a favor and tell him hi, and I hope he is ok,” He said, knowing he really shouldn’t.

“I can do that,” she said, looking at him with a sad smile.

“Come on, I want to introduce you to someone, ” Blaine said, reaching down for her hand and walking over to Bryce and Cooper.

“Rachel I know you remember Cooper,” he said with a smile, she could only smile and laugh, “I would like to introduce you to my friend Bryce Mitchell, he plays my boyfriend on the show.”

Rachel looked at him and then at Blaine and grinned. She couldn’t help it. Even though Kurt was still her best friend, Blaine was her friend as well, and he deserved to be happy, even if that wasn’t with Kurt.

“Hi Bryce, nice to meet you, ” Rachel said, moving forward and shaking his hand.

Bryce just looked at her and grinned. So this is the drunk kiss, Rachel Berry, he thought shaking her hand. Rachel must have seen the grin.

“Oh god, Blaine, what did you tell him?” She said, laughing, and then looked at Bryce. “We were both drunk off of our asses.”

Bryce just laughs, liking her instantly “That is what he said.”

“Did he tell you how very wrong it was? Oh god, if you could have seen everybody’s face at that party, how shocked they all looked, especially Kurt,” she laughed before she realized what she said, covering her mouth with her hand. “Oh god, Blaine, I am so sorry. You know I don’t always think before I talk.”

“It’s ok Rach, no harm done, ” he says, hugging her and kissing her on the cheek

“Ok, I need to head out, call me Blaine, my number hasn’t changed, well, no one in glee has, ” she said, looking at him so he would know what she meant “Don’t forget you have friends that love and miss you ok,” she said before hugging him again

“Love you, Rach, I won’t forget to call again, be careful heading home and tell Finn hi for me,” he said looking at her hoping she knew what he meant

“Oh, I will. Love you, ” she said with a wink before walking away.

“And that was the spitfire known as Rachel Berry,” Blaine said, laughing he had missed her, and loved how she had let him know that Kurt hadn’t changed his number. That was a number he had memorized after the hundreds of times he had called it over the years, glad that he did still have a way of contacting him should he ever be ready, and that Kurt hadn’t changed it.

oOoOo

After they finished on set that day, Blaine arranged to pick Bryce up at his apartment at 6 pm for their date. He wanted to go home and take a shower. He always liked to remove the makeup they put on his face before doing anything else. He took time dressing and fixing his hair. He had something special he wanted to ask Bryce tonight.

When Blaine walked up to Bryce’s door, he could hardly wait to pick him up, excited to get to spend more time with him. When he rang Bryce’s doorbell, it was answered almost immediately, before he even knew what was happening he was being pulled into the apartment by his tie, the door was shut, and he was soon being pushed back against it.

“I need you so bad right now, Blaine,” Bryce said before kissing Blaine, pushing him harder into the door, thrusting his hips into him, and getting him hard in seconds before he reached down, grabbed Blaine’s hand and lead him to the bedroom. “I’m glad you decided to wear a suit for me tonight baby, but damn Blaine, you have on way too many clothes that need to come off _NOW._”

Blaine loved it, loved that Bryce was taking charge. Bryce reached up and took Blaine’s coat off, untied his tie, unbuttoned his shirt setting them all on the chair beside his bed and then starts kissing him again sliding his tongue into Blaine’s mouth, kissing his neck, biting gently on his shoulder, before kissing back up his neck to just under Blaine’s ear, kissing and biting him gently leaving a mark for all the world to see, letting everybody know that Blaine was his, not knowing how Blaine would feel about that but not really caring at the moment, then was attaching his mouth again.

He reached down between them and unbuckled Blaine’s belt and then unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, sliding them and his boxers down over his ass, squeezing it as the pants fell to the ground forgotten pulling his hips closer, grinding into him. Bryce knows he should have given Blaine time to come in the door before attaching him, he just needed him so bad he couldn’t wait, but also after that comment Rachel had made about how “nobody in glee has changed their number” he knows she is talking about Kurt, so Bryce wants to take Blaine’s mind off of all things Kurt, remind him of what they had, what they were building together and that he was right there ready for him.

Once Bryce has Blaine stripped down, he really didn’t know what he was supposed to do next, but Blaine soon took over quickly, stripping Bryce’s clothes off, and pushing him down on the bed before climbing on top of him, straddling his hips. Bending down, bracing himself on his forearms above him, Blaine starts placing small kisses all over Bryce’s face, gently rocking his hips so that their erections connect, skin on skin. When Bryce starts to moan Blaine’s name, Blaine starts moving a little faster, pressing down a little harder before finally attaching Bryces lips, slowly sliding in his tongue as his hips start rocking faster. Still moving, Blaine shifts a little so he can reach between them and grasp both their cocks in his hand, adding more friction and causing Bryce to come unglued. Bryce started popping his hips erratically, repeating Blaine’s name over and over, and then Blaine feels as Bryce digs his nails into his back and feels as warm come spread across his hand. Blaine moves his hand, wiping it on the sheet beside him, and then shifts positions again, so he was completely on top of Bryce. Blaine starts rocking into Bryce faster, chasing his own orgasm. Right as he comes, Blaine leans down and bites into Bryce's shoulder softly, barely stopping himself from screaming out a name that wasn’t Bryce.

Blaine slowly rolls to his side, pulling Bryce with him, giving them both time to catch their breath before placing a soft kiss on Bryces lips. Blaine had to keep looking at him, disgusted with himself that the minute he was able to find his release, it wasn’t Bryce’s face he was seeing and wasn’t Bryce’s name, he almost screamed. Seeing Rachel today and talking about Kurt with her had brought a lot of feeling back to the forefront, and Blaine needed to stamp them back down again. This wasn’t fair to himself or Bryce.

“Not that I mind at all,” Blaine said, running a finger softly over Bryce’s cheek, “but can I ask what brought that on?”

“It’s been a while since we’ve done anything, and I’ve been turned on since we got interrupted in your trailer. You said rain check tonight, and it just started pouring when you walked in the door.

Blaine laughed softly. He knew as well as Bryce did what brought this up. Rachels visit. Blaine couldn’t really bring himself to care though, enjoying having Bryce back in his arms after the week he’s had. “Well, let it, rain honey, let it rain,” Blaine said before leaning over and kissing him again, slowly taking his time now.

“Sorry to do this, but we have a reservation at 7:30. We might need to get cleaned up,” Blaine said, kissing Bryce one more time before sitting up, swinging his legs off the side of the bed and standing up. When Blaine looked down, he finally saw Bryce naked for the first time. He hadn’t taken the time when they first walked into the room, too busy taking care of Bryce, but now... Blaine could do nothing but stare. Bryce was gorgeous. Blaine had known or could feel how built Bryce was, but until that moment hadn’t realized how much. Blaine stood there staring down at every mouth-watering inch of his tanned skin, watching as Bryce’s cock hardened just from Blaine’s stare’s and feeling his own cock harden from the sight. Blaine now wishes he hadn’t made plans for them tonight, wanting to crawl back in the bed and initiate Bryce further into making love.

“Let’s go get in the shower before I no longer have the will,” Blaine groaned out as he followed Bryce into the restroom and had to bite his lip to stop himself from groaning, looking at Bryce’s toned naked ass as he bent over to turn on the water.

Blaine follows Bryce into the shower and watches as he reaches up to grab a bottle of body wash, squeeze some in his hand, puts the bottle back and starts running his hand up and down Blaine’s chest and then slowly starts moving his hands down. “Can I?” Bryce asks, never taking his eyes off of Blaine. Blaine can only nod as Bryce grasps his cock with his warm soapy hands and starts moving them up and down his hard shaft, giving a slight twist as he gets to the head and then moves back down. Blaine leans his head against the shower wall and barely stops himself from thrusting into Bryce’s hand, knowing that with everything he was feeling, this wasn’t going to last long. Blaine stops Bryce right before he comes.

“Turn around for me,” Blaine said, reaching to grab the body wash so he could soap up his own hands, wanting Bryce to feel as good as he was. Blaine gently pushed Bryce so that his back was now on the shower wall, and Blaine got as close to him as he could, wanting every inch of their bodies to be connected in some way. Still needing him closer, Blaine pushed Bryce a little harder against the wall, lifts him up so that he can wrap his legs around his waist, and then Blaine starts to rock into him slowly at first, picking up speed as the need for release hits him.

Leaning in for a kiss, Blaine slowly starts running his fingertip down Bryce’s side, down to his ass, running his soapy finger up and down Bryce’s crack, stopping at his puckered hole. Blaine pulled off of Bryce’s mouth, wanting to see his face as he slowly pushes his fingertip into Bryce’s tight warmth, watching as his eyes got big, his mouth went wide, and he moaned ohhhh.

“Blaine, oh god Blaine,” Bryce started chanting as he started rocking his hips harder into Blaine’s.

Blaine smiles, gently moving his finger in a little deeper before slowly pulling it out, and then doing it again, pushing in a little deeper every time, keeping rhythm with his thrusting hips, until he feels Bryce’s whole body stiffen, digs his nails into Blaine’s back, as he reaches his second orgasm of the night. Blaine continues to thrust against him. His cock was so hard after watching Bryce as he came. It took everything he had not to turn Bryce around and slip into his heat, needing him so bad, but Bryce deserved so much more for their first time. Just the thought of eventually getting to sink into Bryce was all Blaine needed, and he finally found his own release, this time moaning Bryce’s name against his lips.

“Damn Blaine, every time with you just gets better,” he heard Bryce whisper against his ear as he unwrapped his legs from Blaine’s waist, standing up for a minute before slowly, allowing himself to slide down the shower walls until he was sitting on the shower floor, his legs no longer able to support him. Blaine had just rocked his world.

They were late for their reservation, but it was so worth it.

oOoOo

“Ok, how many girlfriends have you had,” Blaine asked, looking at Bryce across a candlelit table. He had requested one as secluded as possible so that they could have a little privacy for their meal. Bryce had heard everything about Blaine’s past, but he still very little about Bryce’s.

Bryce looks at him a minute before answering, “I have dated several, but I have only really had two that were serious. Jennifer and Shey. Jennifer, I met right before I went into acting, she was at that last school I attended. Once I started acting, I was either homeschooled or had a tutor on set. We were together until I was 16, and then the separation and pressure got to her, and we broke up.”

“Right as I turned 17, I started dating Shey. We met on the set of “Bridget’s Glory, ” she was an actress too, so we ended up sharing the same tutor for our senior year. I fell head over heels in love with her. Like you and Kurt, we were always together, we never even fought. I’m still not really sure what happened with her. One moment we were together, she was telling me she loved me, wanted to spend the rest of her life together with me, and the next day she was breaking up with me, saying we weren’t working anymore. She needed something more, and then the next thing I know, she is moving to London, and I never heard from her again. That was twelve months ago.” Bryce said with his head bowed not looking at Blaine.

“Oh Bryce, I am so sorry,” Blaine said, reaching out, grabbing his hand, trying to offer comfort. Blaine wanted to kick himself. He had been so concerned with his own painful breakup, he hadn’t realized that Bryce had gone through almost the same thing.

“The sad part was that she always said I was her family. She had been raised in the foster care system. She didn’t really know her dad, and her mom died when she was three. She hung out at my house all the time. She loved my parents, and they loved her. I even asked her to marry me three weeks before she moved, and she had accepted. That is what shocked me by her leaving the most, that and walking into my bedroom and finding her ring on my dresser,” Bryce said, closing his eyes, and Blaine could tell he was trying not to cry.

“I wish I could say something to make you feel better,” Blaine said rubbing his thumb across Bryce’s knuckles

Bryce just smiles at him, and takes a deep breath “Ok, happy thoughts only tonight, we are having an amazing time together no time for exes,” he said, and Blaine can tell he is really trying hard to shake the sadness he knows has settled in.

“Ok, craziest thing you ever did in high school?” Bryce asked, looking at him. Blaine tries to think about something to make him laugh, refusing to get into the gap incident.

“Ok, senior year for reason’s I refuse to get into,” Blaine said, grinning, “I joined about 20 different clubs. One of them was a super hero’s club. I became Nightbird. I even had a costume designed that I actually wore to school. It was hilarious. Anyway, the year before that, McKinley’s glee club had gone to nationals, and we won. We had this massive trophy that was kept in an awards cabinet, in the choir room. One day we all showed up for glee practice, and we noticed our trophy was gone, in its place was a laptop with a message telling us where our trophy could be located. Even though the face was covered over, and the message was in a computer-generated voice, I knew who took it, my old glee club The Dalton Academy Warblers. I would’ve known that place anywhere.”

“It would seem that the Warblers got it into their heads that since Kurt and I had broken up, there was no reason for me to stay at McKinley anymore, I was after all a Warbler, and once a Warbler, always a Warbler. My old friends got it into their heads that since nothing was holding me at McKinley, I should just transfer back to Dalton, that way I could help them win Nationals. I honestly considered it, and my parents were all for it, but McKinley had become my home.”

“Anyway, the Warblers had decided to sneak into our choir room, steal our trophy and hold it hostage until I agreed to transfer back. Me and my friend Sam, who was also in glee and the superhero’s club AKA The Blond Chameleon, dressed up in our costumes, snuck into Dalton and stole it back. It was hilarious, we got our trophy, and instead of going out the front door, we scaled down the wall on a rope and took off running across Dalton's front lawn with our capes flapping behind us in the wind,” Blaine said, laughing not even realizing he had said Kurt’s name, but Bryce had, and he was really starting to hate that name.

“Ok, what about you? What was the craziest thing you did?” Blaine asked, smiling at him.

“Well, I didn’t really go to school since I was usually on set somewhere, but I remember one day, Shey and I got into our heads that we were too old for school. We were both seventeen, we still had roughly three months before we would be able to take the national tests needed for graduation, but we were both over classes that cut into our time together. Our tutor would sometimes come on set a little tipsy and would usually fall asleep about an hour after being there. I remember this day, Shey and I only had two scenes, they had both been shot, so technically we were no longer needed on set. We dug through the tutor’s purse, took her keys, and had the brilliant idea to go for a joy ride.”

“Neither one of us had a license, neither of us had any money on us, all mine went straight into the account my parents controlled. We drove around for about thirty minutes and ran out of gas. We had to walk back to the studio. Even though the guards knew who we were, they wouldn’t let us back on the lot, instead, they called the head of the studio, who came down to the gate and chewed us out, saying that if we ever did that again, we would never work in the business again. We did it again the next week. She was fearless and talked me into doing things I never would have on my own,” Bryce said with a far off look on his face.

“Ok, you again, did you have in crushes?” Bryce asked looking at Blaine.

Blaine just looks at him turning red, in the back of his mind, Blaine was thinking about Kurt, but he knew he needed to stop talking about him, thinking about him. Bryce almost wished he hadn’t asked the question, fearing he was going to hear ‘_his’_ name again, until he saw Blaine turn red and knew this was going to be a good story, and he was oh so right.

“Ok, when I was in my sophomore year in high school, I got it into my mind that this guy Jeremiah like me. We had coffee a few times, and before I knew it, I was in love. I called an emergency Warblers council meeting, announced to everyone present that I was in love. The Warblers didn’t perform anywhere but in school, competitions or at a local nursing home. We didn’t have public performances. With the help of _umm_, a friend, I convinced the group to help serenade him at work. Jeremiah was the assistant manager at the gap. I followed him around, singing my heart out to him. He kept trying to move away from me, and I just followed him. Come to find out he didn’t like me like that, and on top of that, I got him fired,” Blaine said, turning even redder.

“Oh god, that’s what that video was from,” Bryce said, laughing.

“What video?” Blaine asked, looking at him.

“Someone posted a video of you at the Gap. It was labeled The Warbler’s Gap Attach. It showed you dancing, even standing on display tables as you sang ‘When I get you alone’ to some blond. You followed him around the store with a pair of pink sunglasses on, and for your finale, you slid on your knees with a pair of argyle socks to the register,” Bryce said, laughing until he saw how red Blaine had gotten and how he’d laid his head down on the table shaking his head.

“I’m gonna kill Wes,” Blaine whispered.

“Oh my poor baby, I am sorry,” Bryce said, picking up Blaine’s hand, pressing it up to lips, without even thinking about it.

Blaine looked up into Bryce’s eyes and then broke one of his own rules, he leaned across the table and kissed him gently. “Will you spend the night with me?” he whispered, reaching out his hand to rub his thumb up and down Bryce’s cheek, just wanting to touch him.

Bryce looked at him for a few minutes before nodding his head. “I would love to, ” he whispers back, and then they stand up and leave the restaurant.

When they get to Blaine’s apartment building, he holds Bryce’s hand as they walked in, and the whole time they are in the elevator. Blaine wants to be able to be more open with his affection, wanting to ensure that Bryce knew he wasn’t embarrassed to be seen with him. Far from it, he was proud to walk beside him. When they get inside, and Blaine shuts and locks the door, he reaches down for Bryce’s hand again to guide him over to the couch. He has a question he’s wanted to ask Bryce all night.

Blaine didn’t expect to be as nervous as he was. He had been through this before, he had asked the question he wanted to ask Bryce before, but when you’re sixteen things just seem to be easier than they were when you were nineteen almost twenty. Blaine turned sideways on the couch, so he was facing Bryce, still holding his hands, looking down at their entwined fingers. Blaine takes a deep breath and then looks up into Bryce’s eyes, and a sweet smile crosses his lips, “I have something I’ve wanted to talk to you about all day,” Blaine said looking at Bryce noticing how quickly his face changed, how nervous he now looked.

“I feel like over the last month you and I have become close, we have so much in common, and I love spending time with you. I wanted to ask you if you would be interested in being my boyfriend, ” he asked, “I know we haven’t really known each other that long, but I like where our relationship is going, and I would like to see where it will lead us.” Blaine started feeling better when he saw the grin spread across Bryce’s face

“Before you say yes, if you were going to that is,” Blaine continued laughing, “You should know that I am a cuddle whore, and I love to snug…

He got no further because all of a sudden, his arms were filled with Bryce, who was kissing him all over his face, punctuating every kiss with a _yes, yes, yes_. Before long, Blaine could do nothing but laugh, happier than he had been in a long time. No this isn’t where he thought his life would be just twelve months ago, and not with the person he thought he would be with, but he knows he can be happy ... will be happy


	7. The Pilot

oOoOo

Blaine woke up to an empty bed... again. He had reached out to pull Bryce to him wanting to get his cuddles on. But he couldn’t feel him, so he reached further across the bed assuming he had rolled away in his sleep, but the bed was empty, and once again the sheet and blankets had been pulled up, the pillows put back in place like no one had been there at all. He needs to have a talk with Bryce about that soon. Blaine knows why he is doing it, he’s trying to be helpful so that Blaine doesn’t have to make up both sides of the bed, but Blaine hates it, it reminds him of all the mornings he had woken up alone the last few months with Kurt. He would much rather be woken up, told someone was leaving, even if that meant he couldn’t get back to sleep, that was preferable to waking up to an empty bed.

Blaine got up and got in the shower, glad this would be his last early morning for a while, looking forward to a month off, and being able to sleep in. He seriously wonders, that if the show is picked up for the rest of the season, and then for another if he would be interested in signing for the second season or not. He had liked working on set, doing what he was doing, but it really wasn’t him.

Posting the two videos on YouTube reminded him how much he had always loved music, playing the piano and singing. He had missed that, he missed his time in glee club, well, junior year glee anyway. Yes, he had enjoyed his time on South of Always, but mainly because of Cooper and Bryce. Blaine didn’t know if he wanted acting to be his true profession. He didn’t think he could see himself doing that for years the way Cooper and Bryce did. They were made for it. They had the acting bug that Blaine just didn’t have. It didn’t mean as much to him as it did to them.

He might decide to go back to school, maybe UCLA for their music program, or maybe look into the photography / filmography, he had always loved cameras and taking pictures, he had about twenty different vintage cameras in his old bedroom at home. He could spend his month off looking into being behind the camera instead of in front of it. He could check with his manager to see what all that might entail. Blaine knew, either way, he would stay in Los Angelos so that he could be close to Bryce, also, if he wasn’t under a studio contract Blaine could always go to whatever location Bryce might be shooting at if that was something Bryce wanted as well.

Blaine stepped into a pair of jeans and slipped on his favorite t-shirt before sitting down on the edge of his bed to put on his shoes. Right as he was tying his sneakers, one of the laces broke, and of course, he didn’t have a replacement. With a sigh, Blaine reaches to the back of his closet and pulls out the only other pair of sneakers he owns. The pair he never wears. The pair he couldn’t get rid of, no matter how scuffed and dirty they were. Kurt and Blaine had bought an identical pair of sneakers right before Kurt moved to New York, and Blaine started his senior year. He had worn that same pair of shoes every day without fail. They were just a pair of shoes, but they had made Blaine feel closer to Kurt somehow, and still to this day, he can’t throw them out. One day, maybe, but not today.

Kurt and Blaine had spent that whole day together, exploring the mall in Westerville because it was bigger than the one in Lima. It had been a good day. Seeing those shoes, no matter how stupid it might be, reminded him of that day, reminded him of how happy he had been back then, just to spend the day with Kurt. That had always been one of his favorite things to do, and one of the things he had always missed the most.

Shaking his head, Blaine walks towards the kitchen, deciding to put his coffee maker to use this morning. He usually only makes his own coffee on the weekends, choosing to sleep in as late as he can instead of getting up and making coffee. This morning, however, even with the shoe incident, he was still running early, so he had a few minutes. Blaine decides to pull a bag of his favorite coffee out of the freezer and have a real cup of coffee. The stuff on set that craft services, call coffee, fed the crew's caffeine addiction, but little else.

Blaine had always been a coffee fanatic, loved a good cup of coffee, and had missed the Lima Bean when he first moved to New York. He had found his new addiction on his first visit to Chelsea Market. Blaine had been looking for something for Kurt for their first night together in the apartment, and Rachel had told him about the market, and how much Kurt had loved everything there. Blaine hadn’t found anything to buy for Kurt that day, but he did find the coffee he made for him every weekend. Yes, the market was out of the way, but that coffee so made the trip worth it.

After the breakup, when Blaine had moved back to Lima, he had started ordering his favorite blend online, even though he had access to the Lima Bean again. Now that he lives in California, he has his coffee delivered here and just keeps it in the freezer to keep fresh, a trick his mom had taught him a long time ago. When his coffee is done, Blaine pours a cup in his travel mug, adds a splash of cream, and a dash of cinnamon, putting the lid on as he is heading to the door. Blaine pulls the cup up to his lips, ready for his first sip, only then discovering that he didn’t have the lid on the mug tight as he pours hot coffee down his chest. 

“Fuck,” Blaine yells as he throws the cup towards the kitchen sink, yanking his shirt over his head as he runs to the bathroom to put a cold washrag over his now burnt chest.

For the first time since starting on the show, Blaine was now running late, which he hated. When he says he will be somewhere at a specific time, it was important for him to be there. Blaine grabs the first shirt he touches in his drawer and starts putting it on as he walks to the door, pulling the door shut behind him. It’s not until he is sitting in his car heading to the lot that he realizes what shirt he had grabbed. A shirt he never wore because it was the last one that Kurt had ever given him. Blaine about broke down but managed to pull himself together as he drove onto the lot and parked in his usual spot. Kurt was everywhere this morning, and it was killing him. Blaine slowly made his way first to hair and makeup and then wardrobe, glad he didn’t run into anyone, needing to get to his trailer, needing to be alone for a few minutes to clear his head, get rid of the memories flooding his brain. Missing someone he shouldn’t miss since he now had a boyfriend.

When Blaine got the call he was due on set, he took a deep breath and went to the set where they would be filming today. Since this was the last day of filming for a while, the producer was trying to tie up a few loose ends, so that if they didn’t get picked up, the show would end on a good note. Last-minute scripts had been passed out, and they were going to have their final table read to make sure everything worked out the way the writers had intended it to. Blaine walked up to the chair next to the one Bryce was already sitting in, head just a little clearer, but still feeling the frustration from earlier this morning. The first thing Blaine noticed when he sat down with Bryce was that he looked upset, and Blaine could tell he had been crying.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” Blaine asked softly in Bryce’s ear, draping his arm across his shoulder, pulling him closer, for once not worried about people watching. Bryce was his priority right now.

“It’s nothing,” Bryce whispered, pulling slightly away.

“Bryce, you don’t cry for nothing. Talk to me _please_,” Blaine whispered, pulling him back against his side again.

“My dad and I had a blow-up this morning. He was upset that his check was late, so he called me and reamed me out about it,” Bryce said, refusing to look at Blaine.

“What check?” Blaine asked, confused.

“When I first started working at fourteen, my salary was deposited into my parent's account. It was supposed to be used for what I needed, but half the time, there was never any money when I _did_ need something. There were always new cars ‘_that they ‘**needed**’ to get me back and forth to the studio’_ or a new house. They blew through money like crazy, what they spent it on half the time I don’t know.”

“When I turned eighteen, I started having my checks deposited in my own account and I would just send them money. But this month I got busy and forgot to send it. I mailed it three days ago, but they haven’t gotten it yet. Dad was pissed,” Bryce said, looking at Blaine embarrassed.

“Do you owe them money or something?” Blaine asked, not understanding.

“No, they just depend on me for their income. They didn’t work when I was younger because they said they needed to be available if I was needed somewhere. By the time I was eighteen, it had been so long since either one of them had worked that they wouldn’t really qualify for anything, so I send them nine thousand a month. Normally I send it on the first of the month, but I was busy and didn’t get it sent as normal” he said still not looking at Blaine

“You send them nine thousand dollars a month?” Blaine asked in shock, not believing he heard correctly, that Bryce’s parents would treat him like that.

“I know, all my friends tell me I am crazy, but they’re my parents, and they took care of me when I was younger, and now it is time for me to help take care of them.” Bryce tried to explain so that Blaine would understand.

Blaine so wants to say no, they didn’t take care of you, they took advantage of _you_, they took care of themselves, and they still were, but it was none of his business. Blaine just hated seeing Bryce upset. Blaine held Bryce close until he felt the tension leave Bryce's shoulders and then only let go when the writers and producer took their seats at the table.

“Come on, let's get this knocked out, and then we can go somewhere after work if you want,” Blaine said before placing a soft kiss on Bryce’s lips. Yet another first for Blaine. Once again, putting off the conversation he needed to have with him.

“I can handle that,” Bryce said with a small smile.

After the table read was completed and the last shot of the day was in the can, the director reminded everyone about the pilot Friday, and that he was hoping to see everyone there. Blaine went over and told Cooper that they were leaving, and he would talk to him later. Stopping by their individual trailers, so they could remove their makeup and change back into their street clothes. Both taking an extra minute to pick up any personal items they might have left behind since it would be a while before they were back on set.

When he got to Bryce’s trailer, Blaine noticed he was wearing a very old, very faded shirt. Something Blaine had never seen him in. Bryce always took time with his looks, with what he wore. That shirt was so entirely out of character for him.

“Can we stop by my apartment so I can change really quick, sorry about my shirt, I always put it on whenever I get stressed or upset. I don’t want to upset you, but Shey bought it for me on my last birthday before she left. It has always managed to help calm me down.” Bryce said, looking down at it and then looking at Blaine almost like he was expecting him to be mad.

“It’s ok, Bryce. Honestly, I understand,” he said, pulling him into a quick hug before leading him to his car and then driving him to his apartment. How could Blaine be upset with Bryce considering the shoes and shirt he had on today and how he had felt when he had put them on? They both had their past pains that they were still dealing with.

Bryce went in and changed, and then Blaine took him out to dinner and a movie. They went back to Blaine’s apartment, snuggling on the couch before going to bed, Blaine holding him tight all night long.

Blaine woke up again the next morning to an empty bed… He was about to get frustrated until he noticed this time the bed wasn’t made up, and he heard noises coming from the kitchen. He got out of bed and followed the sounds.

Bryce had made coffee and scrambled eggs for both of them. Blaine had very little food in his apartment. Since it was usually just him, most of the time, it was easier to swing by and get fast food than it was to cook for just him. They sat down and ate, talking in between bites, Blaine really enjoyed it, it had been a long time since someone had done something like this for him.

“So, what are you getting up today?” Bryce asked him, eyes down, looking at his plate.

“Not sure yet. I know I need to go rent a tux for Friday, get my hair cut and get a new pair of sneakers,” Blaine answered, finishing his breakfast, standing up and carrying his and Bryces plates to the sink, wondering why Bryce wouldn’t look at him.

“Oh, ok, I guess I need to get dressed and head home,” Bryce said, standing up and walking to the bedroom.

Blaine walked in behind him, leaning on the door frame, watching. Bryce went over to where he had put his clothes last night. Before they had gone to bed, Blaine had loaned him a pair of lounge pants. Bryce picked up his clothes and instead of just changing there, he carried them into the bathroom and closed the door.

Blaine just looked at the door, confused, wondering why he was acting so strangely. Blaine had seen every inch of Bryce’s body yesterday, and he hadn’t acted shy, so why was he now changing in another room with the door shut. Blaine sat on the side of his bed and waited for him to come out

“Bryce, what’s wrong?” Blaine asked, concerned when he finally came out of the bathroom. He stood up and walked over to him, wrapped his arms around Bryce’s waist, and looked into his face.

“Nothing's wrong, I just need to go home,” Bryce said softly, pulling away and slipping his feet into his shoes.

“Bryce, come on, did I do or say something wrong?” Blaine asked, wracking his brain, thinking about the conversation he had had with him. They had just had a nice talk while they ate, he was lost.

“No, nothing is wrong,” Bryce said before pulling slowly out of Blaine’s arms, starting to walk down the hall, Blaine is following closely behind him.

“Come on, Bryce talk to me, tell me what’s going on,” Blaine said before reaching out to stop him and pulling Bryce back into his arms not liking how this was going at all.

“You have plans today. I was just going home so you could do what you needed to do, ” Bryce said with his head on Blaine’s shoulder

Blaine placed his finger under Bryce’s chin and gently raised his face, so they were looking at each other. “_Bryce, talk to me please_” Blaine was starting to get a little upset now, trying to figure out what the hell he had done wrong this time.

“I just thought we would spend the day together, that’s all. This is our first day off, and I just thought we could go exploring and stuff that’s all,” Bryce whispered.

Blaine let out his breath on a sigh pulling Bryce in for a kiss, feeling relieved that, that was all the problem was, he had never seen Bryce being clingy or unsure of himself before. He had always seemed so confident.

“Why didn’t you just say that? Of course I want you with me, I just assumed you had things you needed to do,” Blaine said, pulling him just a little closer “Bryce if something is wrong, if something is going on, if there’s something you need or want, you have to talk to me. I don’t want us just to ignore things and let it pull us apart,” Blaine said, looking at him.

“Ok, sorry I guess I am still really so new at this and don’t know how to act,” Bryce said with a small smile

“You’ve had girlfriends before, right? You act the same. This isn’t any different. We are building our relationship, and we both have to learn. I know I am going to do things that will drive you crazy, and you will probably do the same,” Blaine said with a smile. “We’ll get through it by talking about it, ok?”

“I can definitely do that” Bryce said with a smile, leaning in and kissing Blaine softly, running his tongue across his bottom lip until Blaine opened his mouth for him and Bryce slowly slipped his tongue in, deepening the kiss, pulling Blaine closer so that he can feel how hard Bryce had gotten. He felt as Bryce grabbed his hand and then he led him back to the bedroom

Blaine watched as Bryce quickly stripped out of his clothes, and then slid his hands around to Blaine’s ass, slipping them under his waistband and pushing Blaine’s pants down to the floor. Blaine quickly stepped out of them, never taking his eyes off of Bryce waiting to see what he was going to do next, how far he was going to go, or was he, like yesterday, going to wait for Blaine to take over again.

He soon got his answer, before he had time to think of anything more, Bryce was pushing him backward on the bed, then he was on him, straddling his hips, softly thrusting his hips down so that his cock slotted up against Blaine’s, skin on skin causing him to thrust his hips up to meet Bryce’s.

Bryce leaned forward, whispering in Blaine’s ear, “You said if I wanted something, needed something, I should let you know, _well_, I want you, I need you..._now_” Bryce said before thrusting his hips forward again “you also told me to act the way I would in any other relationship _sooo_…”

Bryce didn’t say any more just continued to thrust forward, increasing the pressure, he reached down and gently pinched Blaine’s nipples, which caused him to lose his mind. Blaine started moving his hips under Bryce faster, harder, reaching out his hands to Bryce’s ass, squeezing it and pulling him even closer as he continued to thrust down onto Blaine.

Before long, Blaine came hard and warm between them, rocking through his orgasm, breathing heavily. Bryce soon followed, head back, and moaning Blaine’s name. Blaine flipped Bryce over so that he was on top of him and attached his mouth, slipping in his tongue. That had been the hottest thing he had ever experienced in his life, and could hardly wait for a repeat performance. He liked this side of Bryce.

Blaine would have been content just to lie there cuddling and kissing Bryce the rest of the day, and not move, but the stickiness between them was starting to get a little uncomfortable. Blaine leaned down and gave Bryce another kiss, “come on, let’s go get cleaned up, and then we can head out.” Blaine said before rolling off Bryce, standing up and holding out his hand for Bryce to help him stand, placing another kiss on his sweet lips.

They quickly showered and got dressed, Blaine drove Bryce to his apartment so that he could put on some clean clothes, and then they went shopping.

“Can I make a suggestion? Instead of renting a tux for Friday, why don’t you buy one?” Bryce asked, looking at him.

“Do you really think I’ll need to buy a tux? I don’t know if I would wear one enough to buy one,” Blaine responded, taking his eye off of the road long enough to look sideways at Bryce.

“Weeeell awards season is coming up in the next few months, and I was hoping you would agree to go with me, to be my plus one,” Bryce responded with the shy smile that always did things to Blaine.

“I would like to see you try to go with anyone else,” Blaine said before reaching over and grabbing Bryce’s hand “In case you didn’t realize it yet, you’re mine, and I don’t like sharing,” Blaine said with a sexy smile that had Bryce’s heart beating just a little faster. Loving the fact that Blaine said he was his. He liked that.

After that day, they were together all the time. Bryce spent every night snuggled up either behind Blaine with his arms around Blaine’s waist or with Blaine snuggled behind him. Either way, Blaine was in heaven. He loved having Bryce in his arms. Did he still have dreams about someone else almost every night, yes, but he loved how he spent his days.

Friday morning, Blaine woke up in an empty bed… again. Sheets and blanket pulled up, pillows all in place. Ok, time for that talk. Blaine was frustrated, wondering why Bryce kept doing that. Blaine hated it number one that he didn’t get to wake up with Bryce in his arms, but, to make it look like he hadn’t even been in bed at all gave Blaine flashbacks he really didn’t need this morning.

Blaine quickly showered, put on some clean clothes, and he was in his car, driving to Bryce’s apartment. He stood there for about 5 minutes before Bryce answered the door, head wet, and a towel wrapped around his waist.

“Blaine, are you ok?” Bryce asked him, seeing a look on Blaine’s face he had never seen before.

“Not really, can we talk?” Blaine answered and then followed Bryce into the living room but not sitting down. He was too frustrated right now for that. He needed to keep moving. 

“Ok... what’s up?” Bryce asked, now nervous watching as Blaine paced from one end of the room to the other. He had never seen Blaine like this before.

“Why do you do that? Why do you just leave and not say anything? I hate that. And then to make matters worse, you make up your side of the bed, so it is almost like you were never there at all. If you need to leave, please wake me up, leave me a note or something, and please stop making up the fucking bed,” Blaine said, still pacing the room, feeling frustration that wasn’t all directed at Bryce.

“I didn’t realize it bothered you so much,” Bryce said, looking up at Blaine, wondering where this was coming from.

“Well, it does,” Blaine said softly, running his hands through his hair, knowing that this wasn’t Bryce’s fault and that he wasn’t being fair to him, calming down with each step.

“Blaine, I am sorry, you were just sleeping so good, and we didn’t get much sleep last night,” Bryce said with a dreamy smile because they had been a little too busy to sleep most of the night “I promise it won’t happen again. I just had some running I needed to do this morning and didn’t know if you would be interested in going with me or not.” Bryce said walking up to Blaine and placing a kiss on his forehead

“Unless it is something you need to do alone, I would very much love to come with you,” Blaine said, feeling better.

“Blaine, remember that talk we had, where you said if something is going on with me to talk to you about it, not to let things grow until they took over? Well, that goes for you too,” Bryce said, pulling Blaine into a tight hug.

Blaine sighed and put his head on Bryce's shoulder, enjoying the comfort he so needed right now. Blaine knows he should have told Bryce how he felt before now, but today it hit him harder than usual. Blaine had had that dream again last night, the one where he wakes up in an empty bed, Kurt was gone, and then he was at that restaurant again, being told they had had a good run. He had just wanted to roll over and pull Bryce into his arms for a minute, just to remind himself that he wasn’t alone anymore, only to realize he was.

oOoOo

The studio had arranged for everyone to be picked up in a limo, so Cooper, Bryce, and himself arrived in the same car. Cooper got out first. Blaine didn’t really know what he had expected, but this wasn’t it. There were millions of camera flashes, people talking over each other, asking him questions. Cooper stood there for a few minutes, and then Bryce stepped out, followed by Blaine.

“Bryce, Bryce, is this him is this the mystery guy?” Blaine heard someone shout, lights were flashing over and over in his eyes, and he just stood beside Bryce with a smile on his face and his hand resting on Bryce’s back, surprising them both, but Blaine needed to feel him close.

“Yes, this is him. This is my boyfriend Blaine Anderson, who, by the way, also plays my boyfriend in South of Always. That’s actually how we met, so you will be seeing him in the pilot tonight as well.” Bryce answered with a smile on his face looking at Blaine with a look of pride that made Blaine smile just a little more.

“How long have you guys been together?” one of the reporters screamed above everyone else.

“We’ve been dating for a month, but boyfriends for just a week,” Bryce said, looking at Blaine with a smile and squeezing his hand

Bryce continued to answer their questions, and Blaine answered the ones thrown his way. At that moment, though, Blaine’s decision was made. Acting, walking red carpets was definitely not something he was interested in longterm for himself. Yes, he would still go with Bryce to these kinds of functions, but South would be his last role. Blaine decided to talk to Bryce in the morning, and then he would check out classes at UCLA after their talk. If they were going to be a couple, Bryce had a right to a say in Blaine’s decision, plus he valued Bryce’s opinion.

They finally made it inside, and Bryce grabbed himself and Blaine a glass of champagne. Blaine sipped his slowly, not wanting to make an ass of himself and embarrass Bryce. The pilot was hilarious, being in a show is one thing, filming every day, but seeing the finished work, all the different scenes spliced together made it all so much more real. Plus, seeing himself on screen was a shock. He really liked the show and knows for a fact, if he had been sitting on his couch at home, not part of the project, he would have loved it and would have watched it every week.

When they got back to Blaine’s apartment they celebrated again, Blaine had Cooper buy them a bottle of champagne, and he poured them both a glass, allowing himself only one, because he had other things in mind for tonight, and didn’t want to ruin it being drunk. Blaine started kissing Bryce, and then led him into the bedroom, before first stripping him out of his tux and then stripping himself, he then gently pushed Bryce down on the bed, crawled up between his legs, and gave Bryce his very first blowjob ever.

During one of their sexier conversations, Bryce had admitted that he had only ever had three sexual partners, and he had never had someone give him one. Blaine happily took care of that for him, happy to be the first. Loving the look on Bryce’s face, and the noises he made, as he got him to the very edge and then pushed him over. Blaine crawled up beside Bryce, sharing sweet kisses, forgetting about himself, wanting tonight to be all about Bryce, and pleasuring him. They shared a few more kisses, and then Blaine was pulling him into his arms, snuggling close, and they both drifted off to sleep, Blaine content and happy.

oOoOo

Blaine slowly woke up hearing a phone ringing on Bryce’s side of the bed, and hearing his mumbled hello, but was fully awake when Bryce sat bolt upright in bed and just kept repeating “what, what are you talking about?” Blaine quickly leaned over and turned on the bedside light. He looked over at Bryce and noticed he had tears running down his face

“_NO, NO, NO, THAT ISN’T POSSIBLE,_” he heard Bryce scream, crying so hard he shook the bed. Blaine quickly wrapped his arm around his waist, pulling him to his side.

“When did this happen… OK, give me just a sec,” Bryce said before looking at Blaine, “Can you get me some paper and something to write with? I need to write this down,” he said, and Blaine was out of bed, heading to the living room to get a pen and paper for him before running it back to him, noticing that the clock said 1 am. It was never good news when you got a call at that time of day.

“Ok, so Ashford hospital in London… Yes, ma’am…. Yes, ma’am… I’ll get there as soon as possible.” Bryce said, and Blaine had to sit there and watch Bryce slowly fall apart. He quickly pulled him back into his arms and just held on to him.

“Hey, what happened, what is going on?” Blaine asked, holding him, rubbing his hand up and down Bryce’s back.

“Shey, Blaine, Shey was in a bad accident. A drunk driver hit her. I was still listed as her emergency contact. Blaine, she doesn’t have anyone else. I need to get to her Blaine I have to get to her,” Bryce started crying harder, almost hysterical.

“Ok, honey, we’re going to go. Why don’t you go to the restroom and wash your face while I make airline reservations? We’ll go to your apartment and pack you some clothes, we’ll leave as soon as possible,” Blaine said, kissing him on his forehead, remembering all too well the phone call he had gotten about Kurt, the panic he had felt, just needing to get to him now.

Blaine pulls out a suitcase, he quickly packs a few outfits, while talking to the airline. He figures if he forgets to pack something, he can always get it there. Blaine grabs his passport out of his dresser drawer and put’s that in his messenger bag and was just grabbing his phone charger and wallet as Bryce walked out of the bathroom. He helped him put on his pants and shirt from the tux he had worn last night and then guided him out the door and down to his car.

Blaine kept his arm wrapped around Bryce’s waist all the way to his apartment, took his keys from him when his hands shook too badly to unlock the door. Blaine guided him over to his bed, had him sit down. Bryce was shaking so bad that Blaine was afraid he would fall down.

Blaine walked into Bryce’s closet, grabbed one of his suitcases and pulled him out a couple of the outfits he had seen him wear, and then reached for his special shirt and a faded pair of jeans that looked like they would be comfortable for travel. He helped him get dressed, and then they were ready. “Bryce, where is your passport? We’re going to need it, ” he asked, reaching out for Bryce’s phone charger.

Once Bryce had his passport, they walked back out to the car and headed for LAX parked in the long term parking lot. Blaine grabbed both of their suitcases and still managed to hold Bryce’s hand the whole time. Blaine sat Bryce down in the waiting area and took their suitcases to have them checked in and to get their tickets. They waited an hour, and then they were on a plane heading for Heathrow, Blaine keeping his arm around Bryce the whole time.

When they land, they headed for customs, and then Blaine got them a taxi to take them to the hospital. They got there too late. When the matron came in, she advised Bryce, after checking his passport to make sure he was who he said he was, that Shey had passed thirty minutes before they got there.

“No, no, Shey can’t be gone. Blaine, she just can’t be gone, she can’t,” Bryce screamed as he slowly slipped down to the floor. Blaine sat down beside him, pulled him onto his lap, and just held him, rocking him, crying with him. They sat there for about 10 minutes until Blaine saw a nurse walk in carrying a baby.

“Mr. Mitchell, Ms. Alexander notified us that you didn’t know about her daughter. She was in the car with her when the accident happened. She has been checked out and is unhurt. You should know that you are listed on the birth certificate as the child’s father,” She said, placing the baby on her shoulder, rocking the infant.

Blaine and Bryce both looked up at her. Slowly Bryce stood up and walked over to her, Blaine following behind him. The matron slowly passed the baby to him. They both looked down at her and were in shock.

The baby could have been Blaine’s as much as Bryce’s. She had Blaine's dark curly hair, the same shape of his eyes, but big and Brown like Bryce’s. She had Bryce's nose and Blaine's mouth and coloring. They stare at each other, trying to figure out how that is possible, but Blaine was in love. In that instant, he doesn’t care about the how’s. He wants her to be his, to be his daughter.

“What’s her name, how old is she?” Bryce finally pulled himself together enough to ask.

“Her name is Serene Elizabeth Mitchell, and she will be three months old tomorrow,” she said, answering him. “Ms. Alexander referred to her as Sere,” she added before passing the baby over to Bryce to hold.

Bryce just laughed, “Shey did it. When we first met, we were shooting a movie together about the Serengeti. She loved the area, loved the people, and loved that name. She always said that if she had a daughter, she would name her Serene after the Serengeti and would call her Sere or Saree was how she said it would be pronounced,” Bryce just stood there holding her looking down at her face until she started fussing and then he looked like he didn’t know what to do.

Blaine gently reached out for her, and Bryce quickly handed the baby to him. Within seconds she was happy again. Blaine just whispered to her, bouncing her gently until she went to sleep.

“Mr. Mitchell, Ms. Alexander left this letter for you. She was almost positive she wouldn’t make it long enough for you to get here. She asked me to give it to you.” The matron said before turning around and walking away, giving them time alone to read it.

Blaine started to walk away to give Bryce some privacy to read his letter, “Stay, please don’t leave me,” he whispered, looking at Blaine, still so in shock.

“Ok, whatever you want,” Blaine said once again, wrapping his free arm around Bryce as he read the letter and started crying. When he was done, he passed the letter to Blaine to read.

_Bryce,_

_I am so, so sorry. I should have told you. I shouldn’t have just walked away from you. I know how much I hurt you, I do. I had to leave though. Remember when we were in Africa, and I told you that if I ever had a daughter, I wanted to name her Serene. You looked at me and said you didn’t ever want to have kids. So when I figured out I was pregnant, I didn’t want you to be forced into making a decision. I love you so much, and I just couldn’t do that to you, so I left._

_I’m sorry you are finding out this way, I am. I love you Bryce, always have and I always will. Please take care of Sere for me. If you don’t think you can do it, then please, please find her a good place to live, a good family to love her. I can’t stand the thought of her having to grow up the way I did._

_Here is the key to my apartment, where all my important papers are. My will is there, in the top drawer of my dresser, and it leaves everything to you and her. She has a bear that I got her right before she was born, please get it and keep it with her. Let her know how very much I loved her, and I wouldn’t leave her if I had a choice. Please watch out for my baby girl._

_Love you always,_

_Shey_

Blaine read the letter before handing it back to Bryce. He didn’t know that he didn’t want children, that was something they had never really discussed. Some people just couldn’t handle being parents, but Blaine had always wanted to be a dad and had figured he would adopt at some point in his life.

“Do you know what you want to do?” Blaine asked, knowing this was a decision that only Bryce could make.

“I really don’t know. I just need a little time to think,” Bryce whispered, tears still streaming down his face, hurting so bad, he couldn’t think.

“Ok, let’s do this, let’s go to Shey’s apartment get the paperwork she talked about, and pack up some things for Sere. We can get a motel room for a few nights so you can have time to think about everything and decide what you want to do ok,” Blaine said kissing him on the top of his head and pulling him just a little closer.

“Ok,” Bryce whispered so tired he just wanted to curl up in a hole and forget today had even happened.

The matron gave Bryce a bunch of papers he needed to sign, and then they left the hospital Blaine holding the baby and Bryce, just trying to help him through this.

When they got to the apartment, Bryce broke down completely. He curled up in a ball on the couch and just cried. Blaine held him until Bryce whispered he just wanted to be alone for a minute and walked into the bathroom. While he was in there, Blaine went into the baby’s room, placed Sere in her crib, and found the teddy bear Shey had talked about. He went to the little dresser beside the crib, and there was a picture of a woman and Sere, she had to be Shey. Blaine stared at her picture in complete shock. She looked like a mixture of Cooper and Blaine. She could have passed for their sister.

Blaine pulls his phone out of his pocket and calls Cooper. It rings forever before he answers it, and Blaine asks if he knew of any family they might have in London, a cousin, or something. Someone named Shey Alexander.

Cooper gets quiet before whispering, “How do you know about her?”

Blaine tells him what happened, that Bryce’s ex had just died from injuries from a car wreck that he had come with Bryce to London, and about the baby.

“Call dad Blaine, he’ll explain everything,” Cooper said in a shocked voice.

“Coop what’s going on,” Noticing for once, he didn’t call him squirt.

“Just call dad, he needs to be the one to explain this to you, I’m sorry Blaine, but it needs to be him that you hear this from, and he needs to hear about her,” Cooper said before hanging up. Blaine just stares at his phone for a minute, so confused. He then calls his dad at his office, needing to know what is going on. Blaine looked at the time, figures out the time difference and figures he could catch his dad at his office, he dials the number and then waits for his dad’s secretary to transfer his call.

“Blaine, what’s going on, are you ok?” Michael asks. Blaine never calls him at the office unless it is important, and he usually just calls his cell phone.

“Dad, I need to ask you something, do you know a Shey Alexander?” Blaine asked, holding his breath, wondering what his dad might tell him.

“Why are you asking about her?” his dad asked quietly.

Blaine explains to him the same thing he told Cooper, about the accident, and the baby. “I just saw this picture of her holding the baby and dad, she looks like she could be my sister,” Blaine says, still so confused.

“That is because she is,” he heard his dad say after a minute of silence, and then Blaine heard his dad’s voice break.

“What, what are you saying?” Blaine asks in shock.

“When you were three months old me and your mom started having problems, we fought all the time and didn’t want you and Cooper to be brought up around that, so we separated, and we filed for divorce. I started seeing someone else, and even though we always used protection, she got pregnant, she was Shey’s mom. Your mom and I worked things out, but I was still there for Shey, I was there when she was born, I paid child support, I was part of her life until she turned one and her mom died.

Since I wasn’t listed as the dad on her birth certificate, she was sent to her grandmother to be raised. Your mom and I had some long conversations, and we were going to adopt her and raise her as ours. By the time we got the paperwork together, they had disappeared. I tried to locate them, but it was like they disappeared off the face of the planet. I am so sorry you found out this way son, I really am.”

“Why did you tell Cooper and not me?” Blaine asked hurt that his dad didn’t let him know that for eighteen years he had had a sister.

“We didn’t tell him son. You have to remember he was eight when all this was going on. By the time we started working on the adoption process, he was nine, almost ten he walked in on your mom and I talking about her. That’s how he knows. We didn’t keep this from you and not him. I’m sorry we never told you about her. I really am,” Michael answered, still in shock. He had found his daughter and lost her at the same time.

“You said she had a daughter who was in the accident with her, is she ok? What is her name?” his dad asked so excited, and that’s when it hits Blaine, Sere was his dad's first grandchild that made Blaine’s decision to help raise Sere so much easier. She wasn’t just Bryce’s baby. She was his niece. She was blood.

“Yes, she’s fine and she’s beautiful. She’s a combination of Bryce and Shey. She’s perfect, she is three months old,” Blaine answered

“Do you think Bryce will let me see her?” his dad asked excited.

“I’m sure he will, well, that is if he decides to keep her. He had told Shey at one point he didn’t want kids, which is why she left without telling him she was pregnant,” Blaine explains.

“If he decides he doesn’t want her Blaine, then we do, let him know that ok, we will happily take her,” Michae told Blaine.

Blaine finished up his conversation with his dad, found a small suitcase in Sere’s room and started packing her some clothes, and diapers, figuring if there was anything else she needed, they would get it before heading home. He put the picture of Sere and Shey on top of the suitcase and closed the lid. After looking around, trying to make sure that he had packed everything he thought they would need for Sere, Blaine walked back into the living room. He found Bryce sitting on the couch, staring off into space, completely zoned out. Blaine sat down beside him and pulled him into his lap and just held him, listening to him cry with his head on Blaine’s shoulder. 

Blaine wished he could do more for him, but knows the only thing he can do is be there for him, offering all the support he can. Blaine can’t begin to know what Bryce was going through right now. When he had gotten the call about Kurt getting beat up, Blaine had been devastated. He can’t begin to imagine what Bryce must be feeling, but was selfishly glad he couldn’t. Blaine might not be able to be with Kurt anymore, but couldn’t imagine a world where _his_ Kurt didn’t exist. 

“Why don’t we go find a motel we can check into and you can sleep for a little while?” Blaine asked, kissing him on top of the head. Bryce just nods his head too exhausted even to talk.

“I’ll be right back, and we can head out,” Blaine said softly, placing one more kiss on top of Bryce’s head. He walks into the kitchen and finds a diaper bag, a can of powdered infant formula, and some clean bottles. He packs everything in the diaper bag and then makes his way to Shey’s room, needing to find the paperwork she had told them about in the letter she had left for Bryce. Blaine opened the top drawer of Shey’s dresser and pulled out the envelope of papers she had left for Bryce. Blaine stuck it in the side pocket of the diaper bag without looking in it, figuring that was something that needed to be left to Bryce. Closing the drawer back, Blaine made his way down the hall and gently picked Sere up from the crib. He grabbed her little suitcase, slung the strap across his shoulder, and made his way back to the living room and to Bryce. Blaine helps Bryce stand up, and then still holding Sere, he managed to guide Bryce outside, where they quickly caught a cab and Blaine had the driver take them to the closest motel.

Still holding Sere, Blaine managed to get the three of them checked in, asks for a crib to be brought to their room if possible, and then Blaine guides Bryce to their room. Bryce crawls into bed, and other than going to the restroom, he doesn’t get out again for two days.

Blaine handles everything, he takes care of Sere, feeding her, bathing her, playing with her, in general falling more and more in love with her. Blaine talked to his dad several times, trying to see what they would need to do to bring Sere home if Bryce decided he wanted to. Blaine had finally broken down and went through the paperwork he had gotten from Shey’s apartment. Blaine found out that Sere had dual citizenship. She was considered both a British and United States citizen. Michael told Blaine that would make things easier, all they would need to do would be to go to the US embassy and start an application for Sere’s passport.

On the first day, Bryce was able to function, they had a talk and decided that no matter what Bryce decided, they would be better off to head back to the states, so Bryce could have a little more time to make his decision. Blaine didn’t know which way Bryce meant to go, either keeping Sere, or putting her up for adoption, but he wanted to be there to support him and her. When Bryce finally felt like he was ready, they went to the US embassy to start the paperwork for Sere’s passport. They were advised that it would probably take about two weeks for them to get her passport, so they could take her home.

When Blaine had packed for both him and Bryce, he hadn’t expected them to need to stay in London for two weeks, so they ended up needing to go shopping for a few things. After that trip, Bryce started acting like himself again. He started spending time with Sere, playing with her, and once even bathing her. Blaine bought a stroller, and they would take walks through the park, spend time as a family and that is when it hits Blaine what he needs to do, he needs to be there for Sere. Blaine wanted to be her daddy. He wanted to help raise her. He also wanted to be there for Bryce. He tried so hard, but at times he was just lost when dealing with the baby. Blaine knew that if Bryce opted to let her go, if he opted for adoption instead of raising Sere on his own, Blaine would fight for her, even if that meant fighting against Bryce. That baby needed a family, and Blaine was only too willing to give her one

They were walking through Hyde Park when Blaine made his decision. He knew what he was going to do, what he needed to do.

Blaine looks over at Bryce and can feel his heart-beat faster like it did the very first time he saw Bryce. Blaine wants to be part of Bryce’s life. Blaine stops walking and turns so that Bryce is looking at him, and then asks the most important question he will ever ask.

“Will you marry me?”……

A/N: I’m sorry…. there is a method to my madness, and I promise you this story will end up the way all Klaine stories are meant to. Hang in there with me. I promise it won’t be long.


	8. Getting married

A/N:

Ok guys, don’t give up on me yet. This had to be done for the story progression. The next chapter is done as well. I just need to proof it. It was initially one chapter, but it was over 11000 words, so I needed to split it into two chapters. I will try to post the next chapter tonight when I get off work because, unfortunately, r/l calls. Ok, here goes don’t hate me too much….

*~*~*

“Will you marry me?” Blaine asked, looking at Bryce. Yes, this was a question he had asked before, a question he had gotten a yes to, from the one person Blaine always thought he would marry, the person he had so wanted to marry. But he knows he can make it work with Bryce. Bryce stood there looking at Blaine before speaking.

“Blaine, why would you want to marry me? I know you don’t love me,” Bryce said, looking at him almost like he expected Blaine to deny it. Blaine couldn’t deny it though. He couldn’t say something he didn’t feel, and probably never would. Blaine always wants to be truthful with Bryce. He knew who his heart belongs to. He had given it away when he was sixteen years old, and that wasn’t ever going to change. Blaine knew though that it was time for him to move on and let go. Blaine felt like he and Bryce could be good together, _were_ good together.

“You’re right, I don’t love you right now, but I care a lot about you. We are good together. I love spending time together, and I love getting to know you. You are special to me, Bryce. I know we can work. I can be there to help you with Sere. With your permission, I would love to adopt her, be her daddy. We could be a family, and Sere would have two people who love her. I can’t think of anything I would love to do more,” Blaine said, looking Bryce in the eyes so he would know just how serious he was.

“Blaine, you don’t have to do that honestly. We’ll be ok,” Bryce said, looking at Blaine a little shocked. Yes, he would love to marry Blaine. Even though he didn’t love him right now, Bryce knew that was the direction he was heading. Like that old country song, he’d heard a long time ago said, ‘_If I’m not in love, I don’t have far to fall_.’ He knew it wouldn’t take much, and he would be falling head over hills, but in his heart, he knew that Blaine would never love him, and the only reason he was asking Bryce to marry him now was because of Sere, and Bryce didn’t want Blaine to feel like he _had_ to marry him, just because of her.

The bad part was that if he did opt to marry Blaine right now, he knew it would be because of her. Bryce was at a complete loss as to how to take care of an infant, and Blaine was a natural at it. When Bryce’s world had fallen apart, Blaine had stepped in and had taken care of both him and Sere. While Blaine was bonding with Sere, Bryce had been floating in a world of blackness, trying to deal with the loss of Shey. Bryce had tried with Sere, he really had. He had done everything Blaine had shown him to do, held her the way Blaine said she liked to be held, and still, she would cry until Blaine would take her. She would look at Blaine and quiet down and would smile at him. Bryce knew Blaine would be so much help with her, _was_ so much help, but was that a good enough reason to get married?

“Bryce, I know I don’t have to marry you, that you would be fine without me, but I want to marry you, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to help you raise Sere. I want to be there when she says her first word, takes her first step. I want to be there with you when you walk on stage and accept your first Emmy. I’ll be the one in the audience cheering the loudest, yelling ‘yes, that’s my husband,’” Blaine said, almost afraid Bryce would say no.

“Blaine, are you sure? I don’t want you ever to regret this, regret us,” Bryce said, looking at him.

“I have never been more sure of anything in my life. I want to marry you, I want to be your husband,” Blaine said, reaching out and placing his hand on Bryce’s cheek, rubbing it with his thumb looking him in the eyes

“Then yes. Yes, I’ll marry you,” Bryce said with a grin spreading across his face that got bigger as Blaine picked him up and spun him around, making him laugh.

“Thank you, I know we’re going to be happy together,” Blaine said, kissing him, for once not caring that they were in a public place, he just kissed him, and then hugged him tight. “Come on, let’s go grab some lunch and then go call our parents and let them know,” Blaine said with a big smile.

They ate lunch, and then called their parents to let them know they were engaged and planned on getting married right away. That way, when they got home from London, Blaine could start the adoption process for Sere. Blaine’s dad agreed to go ahead and start drafting the necessary paperwork for the adoption process and would have it ready when they got back for Bryce to sign, allowing Blaine to adopt Sere.

“Son, I also want you to think about a prenup. You have a lot of money. I am not saying that he would do anything, but it would be better to be safe than be sorry, especially with the divorce laws the way they are in California,” Michael said, trying to make Blaine understand how important it could be.

“Dad, we haven’t even gotten married yet, I can’t ask him to sign papers in case we get divorced,” Blaine said, looking everywhere but at Bryce who was in the same room talking to his parents on his phone.

“Pre Nup?” Bryce asked with a big grin.

“Yup,” Blaine said, looking at him, just shaking his head.

“Dad heard and thinks it will be a good idea too,” Bryce said, grinning at Blaine, showing how crazy an idea he thought it was.

“Ok dad, Bryce will go along with it, but we’re talking about getting married before we come home,” Blaine told him.

“That will work, I know a lawyer in London, let me get with him, and he can get it written up, and all you will need to do is sign it. Let me call you right back,” Michael said before hanging up

“I’m so sorry,” Blaine said, pulling Bryce into his arms, kissing him, pulling him closer. Just when he was reaching up to unbutton, Bryce’s shirt Sere started to cry. Blaine sighed, putting his head on Bryce’s shoulder. “raincheck?” he whispered.

“Oh most definitely,” Bryce said smiling, pulling Blaine’s hips towards him, kissing him deeply and then letting him go

“So unfair mister, so unfair,” Blaine said, shaking his head and having to adjust himself as he goes to pick up the baby. She stops crying almost immediately. Blaine changes her diaper, talking softly to her the whole time. Once he has her clean and redressed, he made her a bottle and cuddled with her while she drank, softly running the tip of his finger across her soft cheek. After burping her, he watched as she slowly drifted back off to sleep, Blaine smiled down at her as he put her back in her crib.

Blaine slowly made his way over to Bryce, never taking his eyes off of him. He had a raincheck he needed to cash, that thought had Blaine instantly hard. Pushing Bryce down onto the bed, Blaine straddled Bryce’s hips and started peppering small kisses all over his face while slowly rocking his hips so that his hard cock connected Bryce’s. Blaine almost came just from the sounds coming from his fiance, the noises he was making should be illegal. Blaine kisses up Bryce’s jaw to his ear, whispering, “I think it’s raining again,” as he thrust down harder and just a little faster. Chasing a release, he needed so badly. Blaine felt as Bryce stiffened under him, felt as his nails dug into his back, and started rocking harder. When Bryce moaned out Blaine’s name, he knew Bryce had found his release, and Blaine was right on the edge. He started rocking faster. He was right there, right there, he could feel it in his balls.... his phone rings which of course wakes up Sere.

“Fuck...,” Blaine said, wanting to scream. He had been right there, another second, and he would have been. Blaine took a deep breath, rolled off of Bryce, and made his way over to a crying Sere, grabbing his phone as he went. 

“Sorry, Blaine,” Bryce said, because he knew that Blaine had been so close.

“So not your fault, honey. But if you end up spending your honeymoon alone because your new husband is in jail, you’ll know why. Someone is about to die,” Blaine sighed, bending over to pick Sere up.

Blaine looked at his phone, shaking his head, muttering cockblocker as he answers, “Hi dad.”

“Blaine, are you ok? You sound like you are out of breath,” Micael asks, getting concerned.

“No dad, I was just hurrying to get to Sere, who just woke up,” Blaine said, lying looking at Bryce.

“Well, as long as you're sure... I have the lawyer in place. He is typing up the prenup now. He said to give him an hour, and he’ll have everything ready to go. It’s the basic wording I use all the time. He also said that he could help get your marriage license set up as well,” Michael said.

“So, you have already spoken about the terms and are comfortable with me signing them?” Blaine asked thankful again that his father was an attorney.

“Yes, the conditions are fair, but if either of you have any concerns, things can be added or removed,” Michael responded.

“I trust you dad, if you feel comfortable with everything, then so do I. Thanks for everything,” Blaine said before disconnecting his call. Sere had fallen back to sleep, so he placed her back in the crib and turned to Bryce.

“Dad was able to find a lawyer, he is working on the paperwork now, and should be ready for us to sign in an hour. He also said that he would be available to help with getting our marriage license,” Blaine said, looking at Bryce.

“That’ll work,” Bryce said, standing up, walking towards Blaine.

They both showered. Separately, of course, because they knew that if they got in together, they would be late for their appointment. Blaine changed Sere, packed more diapers in her diaper bag, and then placed her in her stroller. Since it was so beautiful outside, they decided they would walk to the lawyer's office instead of grabbing a cab, allowing Sere to get some fresh air, and for them to spend time as a family. Blaine couldn’t keep the smile off of his face, deciding he could definitely get used to this.

When they got to the lawyer’s office, they talked for a few minutes. Mr. Woodward advised Blaine that he had already faxed a copy of the prenup to his dad, and he ok’d all the wording. He, like Michael, added that if there was anything that they felt should be added or should be removed that that could be discussed as well. 

“Ok, here is what your father has requested. Blaine, if you divorce within five years of marriage, Bryce well receive no financial compensation. If you should ask for a divorce between five and ten years of marriage, you agree to pay him $500000. Anything over ten years, should you ask him for a divorce, you will agree to pay him $850000. We have also added a fidelity clause. Blaine, if you should be found to have been unfaithful to Bryce, no matter how long you’re married, you agree to pay him the full $850000.”

“Bryce, if it is found that you have been unfaithful to Blaine, you then will lose all rights to all forms of compensation. Also, should Bryce be the one to request a divorce, no matter how long you are married, he will also lose all rights to compensation and will walk away with nothing. Any properties, vehicles, or other valuables you have, coming into your marriage, will remain your property should your marriage be dissolved. Any and all properties, vehicles, or other valuables bought, obtained, or inherited during the time of your union, should your marriage be dissolved, will be split in half.”

“If you are ok with the wording of this prenup, Blaine, please sign here,” Mr. Woodward said, pointing to the line he was talking about before passing the forms to Blaine to sign.

Bryce sat there watching Blaine sign like the money the lawyer mentioned was nothing. He never even flinched. Once Blaine was done signing, the forms were passed to Bryce for his signature.

“Ok, we have talked about what Blaine will pay me, should we divorce. What do I agree to pay him?” Bryce asked before signing.

“Oh, you don’t pay him anything at all,” Mr. Woodward said, looking at Bryce in confusion. Didn’t he realize just how wealthy his fiancé was? Mr. Woodward decided right then that the prenup was a good idea for sure.

“Mr. Mitchell, if the wording of this prenup is acceptable to you, please sign here,” Mr. Woodward said, pointing to the line that Bryce needed to sign.

Bryce signed, feeling confused but passed the form back to Mr. Woodward, wondering all of a sudden if he should have had his own lawyer read over the agreement before adding his signature. Bryce had agreed to the prenup only after his father insisted he protect his assets from Blaine. Now, after everything Bryce had seen and heard, it would seem that it was Blaine that had needed protection from Bryce, not the other way around. Bryce kind of jokes with himself ‘just gotta makes it five years.’ He almost laughed out loud.

“Ok Mr. Anderson, Mr. Mitchell, since the wedding is being held here in London, I will get these papers filed in the high court, and I will send a certified copy to your father so he can file in the US courts. I have spoken with the magistrate's office. They have everything you will need, and they’re waiting for your arrival. You can go either now and sign the forms or in the morning, whichever works best for you,” he started standing. “Congratulations to the both of you, and good luck, ” he said, shaking both of their hands, and then they walked out the door.

Since Sere was still quiet, they walked to the magistrate’s office, picked up their paperwork, that way, first thing in the morning, they could get married. Blaine was getting excited but also nervous. They walked around a little, walking through the park, stopping at a shop so that they could both purchase a suit for their marriage ceremony. Even though it was going to be held in the magistrate's office, it was still their wedding day and they both wanted to look good for each other. They were able to find a cute little dress for Sere with matching shoes, even though Bryce laughingly said she wouldn’t need them.

After shopping and eating dinner at a little bistro close to their motel, they go back to their room, deciding to spend some quiet time with Sere before she went to sleep. Blane holds her snuggled next to Bryce as Bryce read her a story from a book _he_ had picked up for her that day. Bryce was trying to get more involved in his child life. He didn’t want to leave everything for Blaine to take care of, even though he seemed more natural at it, somehow always knowing what to do, what she seemed to need. As Bryce softly reads the story of two little bunnies, they watch as Sere’s little eyes get too heavy to hold open any longer, and she finally drifts off to sleep, with her little thumb in her mouth.

Blaine slowly stands up and carries Sere over to the crib, gently laying her down, not wanting to wake her up. He watched her for a few minutes before turning around and going back to Bryce and pulling him into his arms. Blaine was so proud of the way that Bryce was trying. For the first few days they had had Sere, Bryce hadn’t wanted to have anything to do with her, but tonight he had played with her, read her a bedtime story from the book that Bryce had picked out himself for her. It had been the sweetest thing Blaine had ever seen. 

They spend the next hour cuddled up, softly talking, kissing and exploring each other's bodies, before deciding that they both needed to get to bed. Sere was usually an early riser. Standing up, Blaine reached his hand down to help Bryce stand and then still holding his hand, they walk towards the bed and slip under the covers, sharing a few more kisses and one hot and heavy make-out session, which ended with them both getting up and showering before going back to bed.

“Night Bryce,” Blaine whispered, placing a soft kiss on Bryces lips, pulling him close and cuddling into Bryce’s side. Once Bryce fell asleep, Blaine carefully crawled out of bed, being as quiet as he could. He was hoping to be able to sneak out and back in without Bryce or Sere waking up. Blane softly opens and closes the door with a smile on his face as he walks to the elevator. Blaine had seen a little jewelry store in the lobby and was hoping to find himself and Bryce a set of rings to exchange tomorrow. Yes, this might have been a quick decision, but Blaine still wanted to make tomorrow a special day for both of them. He looked through the rings they had on display and didn’t really see anything he liked. He had been hoping to find something special for Bryce, something to show just how much he _did_ care about him. Blaine finally settled on a matching set of rings, deciding that they would work for now, and he could always replace them for something better for their first wedding anniversary. Blaine had to smile at that, looking forward to many years with Bryce.

Slipping the bag in his pocket, Blaine took the elevator back to his floor, walking toward his door with the smile still on his face. Blaine quietly opens the door and closes it behind him again, sighing in relief when he realized that Bryce and Sere had both slept through his absence. Pulling the bag out of his pocket Blaine slipped it in the outside pocket of Sere’s diaper bag, knowing it would be going with them and wanting to surprise Bryce.

Blaine knows he should go back to bed and sleep for as long as Sere would allow him too, tomorrow was going to be a busy day, but he was too wired to sleep. Blaine sat down on the small couch, his mind going a mile a minute. He’d always assumed when and if he got married, it would be with the person he loved. Yes, it was hard for him to give up on the idea of him and Kurt, but Blaine knew he and Bryce could work. Will it be the same? Maybe not, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t have a good marriage, that they couldn’t have a happy life together.

Even though Blaine knows he will regret it, he pulls his phone out of his pocket, unlocks the screen, and slowly starts scrolling through the pictures he had stored. Pictures that he should have deleted a long time ago, but even though he had been hurt more than he thought was humanly possible, he couldn’t hit the delete button on any of them. Some of the pictures were of his fondest memories. The picture that was the hardest for him to look at was the one taken the day after they had gotten engaged. Kurt had wanted something for Blaine to wear, so he had gotten him an id bracelet. Kurt said at the time he had thought about buying Blaine a ring, but knew that a bracelet would just fit Blaine’s personality so much more. Blaine had watched as Kurt put the bracelet on him and just looked at the camera, eyes full of tears and love for the beautiful man in front of him. He can still remember how he had felt, it had been so unexpected, and he had just known they would always be together.

On the front of the bracelet, it had two little diamonds inside a heart, and his name had been written beside the heart. On the back, it had been engraved with the date they got engaged, and the inscription said “I love you more than I ever thought possible, you are my life, together forever and always. Your Nemo.”

Blaine had smiled when he saw the name, Nemo. He had called Kurt that right after they had become boyfriends. When Kurt had laughed and asked him why he called him that, Blaine had just looked at him with a serious look on his face, “Kurt, you are my Nemo. I finally found you, and I am never going to lose you, I am never going to let you go, I will never have to find you again.”

Blaine stares at that picture feeling as the first tears start streaming down his face looking down at that picture, knowing he should delete it, but he also knows he’ll never be able to. He would never be able to delete it. He can still remember how proud he had been when Kurt had slipped that bracelet on his wrist. Until the day Kurt had broken up with him, he had never even taken it off and never thought he would. After the breakup, Blaine had still worn it for a few days, still trying to understand what had happened, trying to figure out why. After two days, he had finally taken it off for the first time in almost a year. Blaine had run his finger over the inscription and cried. He had lost his Nemo after all. He placed the bracelet back in the box it came in, and when he moved back home, he had put it in his nightstand where it would always be safe.

Blaine looks through the rest of the pictures one more time and then closes the file his pictures were in, closing that chapter of his life forever. Tomorrow he will be a married man. Blaine feels as more tears slip down his face, crying for someone he still missed, someone he knew he could never have again. Blaine knows he needs to move on, let go of the past and concentrate on the new future he was trying to create for himself, Bryce and Sere. The past is in the past, and he needs to learn how to let it go and forget. Blaine walked into the bathroom, washed his face, and then crawls back in bed, pulling Bryce back into his arms, placing a soft kiss on his head, and slowly drifts off to sleep.

oOoOo

The next morning, Blaine and Bryce woke up to a beautiful day, both feeling nervous, which could be expected, but also excited for the next step in their lives. Blaine dressed Sere in a pretty dress they had found for her, slipping on her little white tights and then her matching shoes, the whole time watching as Bryce gets dressed, shaking his head about the shoes. Blaine dresses, and they are on their way. Since it was a sunny day, they decide once again to walk to the magistrate’s office, enjoying the beautiful weather. They had a quick civil service and walked out a married couple, both with matching rings and smiles. They had decided they would both keep their own last names because of the business they were in, but Sere would be renamed Mitchell-Anderson once the adoption process was complete.

They spent all day playing tourist. Blaine took Bryce to all the places he remembered visiting when he was here with his parents during his freshman year in high school. They had a wonderful time. They spent the whole day out, looking at everything, visiting the different museums, riding the London eye. Bryce spent more and more time with Sere, holding her, changing her clothes, deciding that his baby had worn those stupid shoes, long enough, he had said with a smile knocking his shoulder into Blaine’s. They connected as a family.

They walked until they were both tired, stopping for dinner on the way back to their room. While Bryce pushed the stroller, Blaine held Bryce’s hand, feeling freer that he ever had. Loving the feel of that little gold band on his finger, and what that band stood for. It stood for his future, their future, and he couldn’t be happier. As they walked they passed a drug store. Bryce stayed outside with Sere, while Blaine went in and got a pack of diapers, and wipes for Sere, and some personal items they would need for tonight. He was still feeling nervous. Tonight would be their first time, Bryce’s first time. They had had a good day, and Blaine was hoping that carried over to an even better night. When they got back to their room, Blaine bathed Sere, gave her a bottle, and tucked her into the crib, the motel had supplied for her.

Taking a deep breath, Blaine walked back over to Bryce and pulled him in his arms. With one look, Blaine could tell how nervous about tonight Bryce was. Blaine was nervous as well. This was their wedding night, tonight was special, and Blaine wanted to make sure it _was_ special for Bryce.

“Do you want to go take a shower before going to bed?” Blaine asked, placing a soft kiss on Bryce’s lips, trying to reassure him that they would go as slow as Bryce needed them to go.

“Yeah, I think I will,” Bryce said with a nervous smile before pulling out a pair of pajamas from his suitcase, something he hadn’t worn the whole time they had been in London. They usually both just stripped down to their boxers before going to bed, but if pajamas made Bryce feel better, that was fine for Blaine.

“Ok, I’ll wait for you and will take mine when you get out,” Blaine whispered, placing one more soft kiss on Bryce’s lips before he turned and went towards the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. Blaine could only smile.

While Bryce was in the shower, Blaine pulled the supplies he had bought for them out of Sere’s diaper bag where he had put them. He took the plastic wrapper off the bottle of lube and opened the box of condoms, tearing the top off the way he always had, before placing them both in the top drawer of the nightstand and quietly closing it back. Blaine next pulled the covers down, getting the bed ready for them. After that, he started pacing, waiting for Bryce to come out of the bathroom, after thirty minutes Blaine was ready to go and see if he was ok, when the door finally opened, and Bryce walked out.

Blaine placed a quick kiss on Bryce’s cheek before walking around him into the bathroom to get in the shower. Unlike Bryce, Blaine had only grabbed a pair of boxers to put on. He almost wished he had grabbed his lounge pants now, though. Not that he planned on wearing them long, but they might have made Bryce feel more comfortable. Blaine brushed his teeth, took a deep breath, and then walked out of the bathroom to join Bryce. The first thing Blaine saw was Bryce sitting on the very edge of the bed fidgeting.

Blaine knew Bryce was anxious. He was too. Yes, Blaine had done this before, but never as a husband. Tonight was ten times more important than any other time he had made love before. This was Bryce, this was his husband, his future. Blaine slowly walks over to Bryce, helped him stand up and then pulls him into his arms. When Blaine feels Bryce’s arms encircle his waist, Blaine reached up with both his hands, placing them on either side of Bryce’s face, just looking into his eyes for a few minutes before leaning in and placing a soft kiss on his lips.

“Remember when we first started dating, and I said I would need you to tell me if I am moving to fast for you? That includes tonight as well. I don’t want to rush you, I don’t want to push you into something you aren’t ready for,” Blaine whispered before kissing Bryce again, slowly slipping in his tongue and stepping a little closer, so his body was flush with Bryce’s.

“I want to try everything. I want to give you everything, I just don’t know what that all entails, and to be honest, I am really nervous. I have loved everything we have tried so far, and think I am ready to try more,” Bryce gasped out.

Blaine watched his face for a few minutes before leaning back in and kissing Bryce again. When Blaine felt Bryce step closer to him, he pulled Bryce’s face closer, he slowly stuck his tongue in Bryce’s mouth, tasting him, and loving it. He kissed up Bryce’s jaw to his ear, sucking his earlobe into his mouth, biting on it gently, feeling as Bryce thrust his hips into his, letting Blaine know Bryce was as hard as he was.

“Can I make love to you tonight?” Blaine whispered into Bryce’s ear licking around the outside shell. Blaine was so hard. He was hurting. Blaine had enjoyed everything they had done so far, but wanted so much more. He had dreamed of sinking into Bryce for so long, needed it so bad.

“Yes… _please,_” Bryce said, not knowing what he was begging for but wanting something he knew only Blaine could give him.

Blaine kissed his lips one more time before reaching down and grabbing the hem of his t-shirt and slowly pulled it up and over Bryce’s head, placing another kiss on his sweet lips. Never taking his eyes off of him, he reached down and slid his hands under the waistband of Bryce’s pajamas and boxers, sliding his hands down to his ass, pushing his pants down with them, stepping back just enough to allow them to fall to the floor. Kissing him again, Blaine squeezed Bryce’s ass, pulling him back against him.

Blaine kissed Bryce deep and hard before gently pushing Bryce down so that he was sitting on the edge of the bed. Blaine quickly stripped his boxers off and bent over to kiss Bryce while he got down on his knees in front of him. Blaine slowly bent down and took Bryce in his mouth, using his tongue, he circled the head of Bryce’s swollen cock, and heard his sharp intake of breath, and felt his hips thrust forward.

Blaine slowly lowered his mouth down Bryce’s shaft, hollowing his cheek, sucking softly as he moved his head down and harder as he went back up, trying to give Bryce as much pleasure as possible. When Bryce thrust forward again, Blaine knew he needed to stop. He didn’t want Bryce coming like that, not tonight anyway. Blaine wanted to be buried deep inside him when that happened again.

Blaine slowly pulled off and then kissed him on his lips again. “Lay back on the bed,” he said softly, standing up and grabbing the lube and a condom out of the box in the nightstand. Once Bryce was lying down on his back, Blaine reached up and grabbed a pillow and placed it under Bryce’s hip.

“That should make the angle better for you,” Blaine said, sitting with his ass on his heels between Bryce’s legs. He leans down and places another kiss on Bryce's sweet lips.

“Ok, what I need to do is open you up a little, prep you so that you are ready for me, let me know if I hurt you, or move too fast. I need you to talk to me, ok. We will go as slow as you need me to be, ok?” Blaine said softly, looking at Bryce, and sees him nod.

Blaine opens the bottle of lube, squeezes some on his hand, and the coats his index finger, before reaching down and slowly pushing into Bryce’s tight puckered hole. Blaine almost came just from that, feeling how tight and warm he was. When he felt Bryce’s muscles loosen, he slowly slides his finger out, adds more lube, coating his middle finger, before slowly starting to slide both in.

When he heard Bryce’s sharp intake of breath, he stopped giving him a few seconds before sliding his fingers in further. Once he gets them in as far as he can, he starts slowly pulling them out and then sliding them back in, when once again, Blaine feels Bryce’s muscles loosen Blaine pulls his fingers out slowly, lubes up the third finger, and then slowly starts sliding them in, and then pulling them out slowly over and over to stretch him as much as possible.

“You ok?” Blaine moans out, hoping Bryce says yes, because at this point, Blaine needed to be inside him. Bryce just nods his head with his eyes closed.

“We’re almost there, you are doing so good,” Blains said as he reached his other hand up, grasping Bryce’s cock in his hand and started to slowly move his hand up and down Bryce’s shaft, hearing him moan his name made Blaine even harder. He needed him so badly, wanted nothing more than to sink into his warm heat, but knew he wasn’t ready for that yet.

Blaine slowly pulls his fingers out a little angling them so he rubs right over Bryce’s prostate and can only smile when Bryce thrust his hips up and Blaine feels as Bryce’s cock jerks in his hand. He is close. Blaine slowly pulls his fingers out again and puts more lube on his hand, and then slowly inserts all four slowly back in, moving them in and out. Blaine feels he is finally loose enough, and to be honest, he doesn’t know if he could hold off entering him much longer.

He pulls his fingers all the way out, reaches for the condom and slides it on and then squeezes more lube onto his hand, slides it up and down his cock a few times, to get as much lube on as possible, Blaine leans over Bryce, bracing himself on his hands and knees, and slowly leans down, kissing him, deep and hungry.

“I’m going to enter you now, I promise to go slow,” Blaine whispered, placing one last kiss on Bryce’s lips and then sits back up.

Blaine gets on his knees, between Bryce’s legs and moves as close to his ass as he can. Never taking his eyes off of Bryce, watching for any sign of discomfort, Blaine lines himself up with Bryce’s hole and slowly starts pushing himself forward. When he breaches the first ring of muscle, Blaine stops to give Bryce time to adjust. Bryce thrust his hips forward either from the pleasure of it or the pain, Blaine wasn’t sure, but it had almost caused Blaine to enter him faster than he intended to. Luckily Blaine had been ready for that and had his hand holding Bryce’s hips so they couldn’t thrust up fast and end up hurting himself. He had learned that the hard way the first time he and Kurt had made love. Kurt had thrust up hard, and Blaine hadn’t been ready for it, and Kurt had felt more pain their first time than he ever should have. Blaine wanted to make sure that didn’t happen with Bryce.

When Blaine was fully inside him, Blaine noticed that Bryce had gone soft, so, just like he did with Kurt, he reached out and grabbed his cock again and started to slowly move his hand up and down a few times until Bryce was hard and rigid again, and then he started to move in and out slowly. It felt so good, Bryce was so tight and warm, and Blaine had to think of something else just to keep from coming then and there and ruining everything.

He kept it slow and gentle, never really increasing his speed, just enjoying it so much. Blaine felt tears prickle the back of his eyes as memories of another first time entered his brain, trying to chase them away. It was so unfair to Bryce to be thinking about Kurt while he was buried deep inside of him, so he closed his eyes and just kept moving slowly and as deep as he could. Blaine feels himself getting close can feel it building in his balls. He opens his eyes and looks at Bryce, and he has his head turned, he isn’t moving, not making any sound at all.

Blaine reaches between them and grasps Bryce’s cock again and starts moving his hand up and down, matching the movement of his hand with the thrust of his hips. Right before he is about to come himself, he felt Bryce orgasm warm in his hand, Blaine continues to rock his hips, throwing his head back and moaning as he finally came. If the baby hadn’t been asleep on the other side of the room, Blaine would have probably screamed out Bryce’s name. It had felt that good.

Blaine slowly pulls out of him, leaning down to place a gentle kiss on his lips before reaching down and removing the condom. He quickly ties it off and throws it in the trash can, and then he leaned over to whisper in Bryce’s ear. “You were amazing,” before kissing him again and then standing up to walk in the restroom and grab a washrag. He quickly cleans himself off and then grabs another one and then goes in and cleans off Bryce’s abdomen.

He helps Bryce move the pillow from under his hips, lies back down beside him and pulls Bryce into his arms, and just snuggles with him, whispering in his ear how amazing that had been. So satisfied and worn out, he doesn’t want to move. Blaine felt it as Bryce’s muscles relaxed and he was soon asleep.

Blaine lays there for a few minutes, thinking about what had just happened. Feeling guilty, that in the second he had finally got his release, it wasn’t Bryce he was seeing. It was a beautiful blue-eyed memory that still had the ability to tear him up inside. He needed to figure out how to make it stop, knowing it was so unfair to Bryce. He would just have to work harder to stay in the moment.

The baby woke him up at 2:30. Blaine smiled when Bryce just moaned and snuggled further into the pillow. He had worn Bryce out as much as Bryce had him. With a satisfied grin on his face, Blaine stood up and pulled on his boxers before walking over to the crib and picking Sere up. 

“What is it sweet girl, what is wrong with my baby” Blaine softly spoke to her, rocking her as he makes her a bottle. He sits down on the couch with her, softly singing while she drinks her bottle, and then he burps her. Blaine lays her down, quickly changing her diaper, and then she is out again. Blaine spends a few more minutes with her laying on his chest, softly sucking on her little thumb.

“Sleep tight sweet baby girl. I’ll see you in the morning,” Blaine whispers as he stands and takes her back to her crib and lays her down. Blaine stands by her crib for a few more minutes, still not believing he had such a sweet baby in his life that he already thought of as his, once the adoption papers were signed and completed, she would be.

With a smile on his face, Blaine walks back to the bed, noticing first that the clock said it was only 3 am, and the next thing he noticed was how the blankets had shifted during the night, and he got a view of his husband's gorgeous naked ass in front of him. Blaine’s cock was instantly hard and standing at attention. He wonders how early is too early to wake his new husband up, and figures now is a good time to find out with a smile.

Blaine slides back in bed, and snuggles up behind Bryce, and starts kissing his shoulder, his neck thrusting against his ass. Bryce opens his eyes with a smile on his face. He rolls over, so they are facing each other, and their cocks touch, causing Bryce to moan loudly, he was as hard as Blaine was. Blaine attacked his lips, rubbing his hands up and down Bryce’s body, getting more and more turned on, and wanting him so bad again.

“Rollover for me, I think it might be easier this time if you get on your knees. I know you might be a little sore,” Blaine said, kissing him and sitting back, waiting for Bryce to roll over and get up on his knees. Blaine was looking away, reaching for a condom and the lube, so he completely missed the look that crossed Bryce’s face.

Blaine quickly preps Bryce noticing that he is still loose from last night, so it doesn’t take long. Blaine rolls a condom down his shaft, squirts some lube in his hand and rubs it on himself. Blaine slowly slips into Bryce, trying to be gentle. He knows he should have waited until tomorrow before making love to him again, but it had just felt so good, and it had been so long. When he feels himself getting close, he reaches around and encircles Bryce’s cock in his hand and starts moving it up and down, squeezing gently to help get him there. Blaine, unfortunately, comes before Bryce this time, but keeps stroking him, still buried inside him until Bryce finally gets his release. When Blaine slowly pulls out, Bryce slides down and lies on his stomach, and his face turned away from Blaine.

“Honey, are you ok, was I too rough, are you still really sore?” Blaine asks, concerned, feeling horrible. He should have waited.

“No Blaine, I’m fine. You were great. I’m just really tired all of a sudden,” he said, turning to face Blaine, placing a kiss on his lips and then rolling over on his side facing away from Blaine and falls back to sleep.

Blaine feels better. He had really been concerned. Kurt had never acted like that. Blaine knows he should stop comparing his sexual relationship with Bryce to the one he had with Kurt, but it was hard not to. Blaine knows he will need to wait a few days before they make love again, but they can always do a lot of other things Blaine thinks with a grin before slipping off the condom, tying it off and throwing it in the trash can as he walks to the bathroom. Blaine washes himself off and would have grabbed one for Bryce, but he had already passed back out. Blaine walks back into the room with a smile on his face, completely happy for the first time in a long time. He felt like they were going to be ok. They would have years together. Maybe once Sere is older, they could adopt another baby and give her a sister or brother someone to grow up with.

Blaine slips his boxers back on and crawls back into bed, pulling Bryce back into his arms and then is asleep almost as soon as his head hits the pillow. He completely misses it as Bryce gently extracted himself from Blaine’s arms, walked into the bathroom and turned the water on in the shower as hot as he could handle it before stepping in. He scrubbed every inch of his body.

Even though Blaine had been so caring and gentle and easy with him, and took his time, Bryce hadn’t liked it at all. With tears running down his face, he wonders how he is ever going to explain to Blaine that he didn’t want to do it again. When Blaine had woken him up, Bryce had gotten excited. He thought they would just do what they had been doing before tonight, when he told him to roll over on his knees, he had wanted to cry knowing what Blaine was going to do.

He had always enjoyed everything they had done, but not that, never that. When he got out of the shower, he wrapped a towel around his hips and went back into the bedroom. He stopped by the crib where Sere was asleep and just stared down at her. He wishes he could feel something for her the way Blaine seems to already, but he still feels nothing, wishing she looked like Shey.

He walked over to his bag and pulled out his journal, and sat down on the couch, thankful once again that Blaine had packed it. He really was a wonderful husband, well, in every way but one. He slowly starts his entry for today.


	9. Heading Home

A/N Okay, here we go. The next chapter is complete, as well. It was written right after I posted my first chapter of this story. I knew then how things were going to go. I just had to get there. It is heading the way it is supposed to, I promise. Thanks for sticking in there with me. And thanks for the reviews.

oOoOo

Over the next two weeks, they spend their days outside exploring London, and their nights exploring each other. After four days of being married, Bryce had finally told Blaine he didn't really like intercourse.

“I love everything else we do, but not that. I am so sorry Blaine, I tried to like it, but I don't, “ he looked up like he was expecting Blaine to be mad.

“Don't be sorry, I wish you had said something before, there are always other things we can do.

The next night Blaine had bottomed for the first time, hoping that Bryce would like it better. Since Blaine was his first experience, they needed to see what his preference was anyway. Bryce was fantastic, and Blaine decided he could definitely deal with it. Was it his favorite, no, but he had to do what Bryce liked as well if they were going to make this work.

Bryce didn't like that either. So Blaine settles into life with what they had always done, that would be enough. Maybe later they could try again.

They finally got the notification that Sere's passport was ready, and they were both ready to go home. Blaine learns quickly how much his life has changed when they land at LAX, walk to get their luggage, and go through customs. Before he even realizes what is going on, there’s flashes going off, paparazzi in his face asking questions.

“Is it true you got married, were you on your honeymoon?”

“Did you adopt a child already?”

“What's her name?”

“Are you going to be staying on the show now that you are married?”

With everything that had been going on, getting married, and getting Sere, he had forgotten that the night before they left the country, their pilot had aired, and two more episodes had been shown while they were gone. Blaine and Bryce just keep walking, not saying anything, not answering any questions.

Blaine hands Sere to Bryce and walks over to get their luggage off of the carousel. He grabs the car seat they had bought the day before flying out, knowing they would need one for his car, on the way home. He quickly puts everything on a suitcase trolley and starts heading toward the front door.

“Well, that was different,” Blaine said as he started the car and heads towards Bryce's apartment. As soon as they saw all the cameras, they quickly decided they needed to stay at Bryce's until they could find a bigger place. His apartment building had a doorman and a service desk where you had to check in to be allowed in the elevator.

Blaine hadn't really been happy with the idea of moving into Bryce's apartment, having flashbacks of past experiences, but he knows it is the best place for them to be. It was up to them to keep Sere safe.

The next day they head to Westerville, so Bryce and Sere could meet his parents, and so Bryce could sign the forms to start the adoption process. Blaine's parents fall in love with Sere, and they seem to like Bryce okay, even though they really didn't speak to him that much.

They spend a few days there and then are heading back to California so that Bryce's family can meet Blaine and Sere. Before they leave, Blaine pulls a box out of his nightstand and hides it in his suitcase. He decided he wanted to put it in the box he had his scrapbook in at home. He wanted it with him again.

When they get to Bryce's parent's house, Blaine takes an instant dislike to both of them. They seem so judgmental, making little comments about Bryce that sets him off. He can already tell they will not be spending much time with them. He didn't like the comments they made about Sere, either.

They were finally able to find a bigger apartment, one with security like Bryce's, close to Cooper's. The first thing Blaine did when they moved in was to set up the nursery. He put everything together himself, he painted the walls and placed little pictures around, making it a happy place for his little girl to grow up.

Because yes, she was his little girl, they had gone to court the day before, and everything was filed, and Serene Elizabeth Mitchell officially became Serene Elizabeth Mitchell-Anderson. Blaine was on cloud nine. He had the perfect daughter, the perfect husband, the perfect life.

oOoOo

They had been home almost a month when they got the notification that the show wasn't going to be picked up for the rest of the season, they would air the shows that had been filmed and then it would be over.

Blaine was surprised when he got a call from his manager asking him if he wanted a small part in a movie they would start shooting the next week. The director had asked for Blaine specifically. Blaine said yes and started on the film, which leads to him doing tons of commercials.

Bryce was soon offered a job that would take him away from home for two weeks. They talked before he left. They decided that since they had Sere, they would make sure that if one of them were on a shoot somewhere, the other person would keep their commitments local. That way, Sere always had someone with her.

Blaine and Bryce started having problems shortly after that. Their first month together had been wonderful. They spent a lot of time talking, cuddling on the couch, spending time together with Sere as a family, settling into their relationship.

Blaine was happy just being able to hold him, did he miss some things in their relationship, yes, but the relationship was the most important thing, and he wanted Bryce to be happy. They did enough to keep him satisfied, and since they lived together they were able to be intimate more often which helped as well

Once Bryce got his first movie, things went downhill from there. They weren't spending much time together, and the time they were together was spent mostly arguing. Bryce never helped out with Sere, even when he was home, Blaine still did everything. Bryce would come home for a day or two and then would be heading back out again, almost like he couldn't wait to be away from them.

They argued about the time that Bryce spent away from home, and how when he was there, he didn't stay for long. Their relationship was pretty much nonexistent, which Blaine couldn't really figure out why, but he knew he was getting tired of it and something needed to be settled between them soon

They had a really heated discussion when they were both nominated for a people's choice award for their work on South of Always. Bryce just assumed that Blaine would refuse the nomination now that they were married, and Blaine refused to, he had earned that nomination just as much as Bryce had.

He screamed at Blaine, asking what kind of a husband did that, and Blaine just looked at him in a calm voice and asked what kind of husband would ask. Bryce had stormed out the door, slamming it behind him, of course, waking up the baby Blaine had just gotten to sleep.

Blaine was asked if he would perform for the awards show, and he agreed, figuring Bryce would win, and that way he could show his support the way he always said he would, even though he knew they were falling apart. Bryce was always gone, never stayed at home, which led to more and more arguments, and discussions and fights.

Blaine was the one always staying home with Sere. When Bryce _was_ there half the time, he paid no attention to her at all and not much more time with Blaine. He pulled further and further away, and Blaine couldn't understand why. They used to get along perfectly and now…

On the night of the awards show, Blaine went into his room, went into his closet and pulled down the box that he kept all the stuff from high school. He pulled out the bracelet that he had placed in there right after he got married. He never thought he would wear it again, but like Kurt's ring, it meant something to him, it stood for something, it was important, it gave him comfort.

So tonight, on one of the most important nights of his life, Blaine grabbed out his bracelet and put it on for the first time in over a year. He needed it, needed to wear it again.

Bryce was supposed to be flying into town just in time for the show and then would be flying right back out again, which caused another big fight for them.

When Blaine stepped out of his limousine, he sees Bryce was already there. He hadn't called to say when he would be in. Bryce hadn't called to say he was in town and hadn't come home. He also hadn't waited for Blaine. He walked the red carpet alone. Blaine decided two could play that game, so he decided to piss him off a little and not automatically go over to him.

Blaine stood on the red carpet and talked to the reporters on his own, smiling at the cameras, laughing at the comments, not saying anything when a reporter flat out flirted with him. The guy was cute. He stood there, talking to him for five minutes. Blaine didn't walk over to his husband or even acknowledge him at all. Of course, that got the reporters talking, was there trouble in paradise? If only they knew.

Bryce looked up and saw the reporter flirting with Blaine and quickly walked up to him with a smile on his face, Blaine saw the look of almost hate in his eyes, he was trying to hide. Whether or not that look was for the reporter or Blaine he didn't know, it took everything he had not to laugh. Looking the reporter in the eyes, Bryce leans in and kisses Blaine on the cheek and then linked their arms together like they were the happiest couple in the world, almost rubbing it in the guy's face that Blaine was his.

They walked into the auditorium and took their seats, holding hands, playing it up for the cameras. Blaine was soon motioned to the back so he could go and perform. He kissed Bryce on the cheek as he walked by with a smile on his face.

He was so looking forward to this performance, he’d been practicing it all week and was so ready. When he got backstage, he quickly changed out of his tux and slipped on a white short-sleeve button-down shirt wanting to make sure his arm was showing. He replaced his bow tie with a straight tie with blue and red stripes and his tux pants for a pair of smoky gray ones.

He walks on stage, gives the audience a big smile, then walks up to the piano and starts playing the music he had picked out, not needing the sheet music that had been left for him, this one he knew by heart.

_Before you met me_   
_I was alright_   
_But things were kinda heavy_   
_You brought me to life_   
_Now every February_   
_You'll be my valentine, valentine_

Blaine looked at the camera, smiling his first real smile in a month. He was singing this song for someone special. This song had always been special to him. After he’d sung it at Call Backs he hadn't allowed himself to sing it again, feeling like it had been ruined forever, but tonight Blaine knew, nothing was ruined unless you let it be, nothing was over forever until death, and he felt more alive tonight than he had in a long time.

He had had a long talk with Cooper today about his marriage and things going on. Things were going to change one way or the other. He refused to keep living the way they had been.

He stepped away from the piano, someone else sat down, the curtains opened, and he was joined by 12 more men all in Navy blazers with red piping, and a red and blue striped tie, he quickly put on the blazer he was being handed, got into formation and sang the next part of the song looking straight into the camera, making the same gestures, and facial expressions he had made so very long ago

_I'ma get your heart racing_   
_In my skin-tight jeans_   
_Be your teenage dream tonight_   
_Let you put your hands on me_   
_In my skin-tight jeans_   
_Be your teenage dream tonight_

When he finished his song, he turned to his friends and hugged them one at a time thanking them for helping him out, hearing the cheers and claps from the audience. Blaine stood there with them laughing, happier than he has been in a very long time.

He walks up to the mic, standing in front of him, takes off his jacket, and holds the mic with his left hand. The arm that had the bracelet on it, “That's for you Nemo, hope you liked it,” he said with a wink, knowing Kurt always watched the people's choice awards, he never missed it. He loved talking about what and who everyone was wearing.

Blaine then walked off stage and spent a few minutes with his friends before he was told he needed to take his seat that the next award was going to be presented. “I'll catch up with you guys when we’re done here, I need you to meet my daughter,” he said with a proud smile on his face.

When he got back to his seat, Bryce was pissed. “What the hell Blaine, who the fuck is Nemo?” Bryce almost spat at him

Blaine reached out his hand and held Bryce's chin. “Oh, you don't even need to worry about that,” Blaine answered in a sarcastic tone, but with a smile on his face. For anyone watching, it would have looked like a loving moment between them.

“Welcome to the 44th annual People's Choice Awards tonight. We want to thank Blaine Anderson and the Dalton Academy Warblers for starting our show off tonight.

“For the first award of the night, it is Best Male Lead in a film or TV series. The nominees are Brad Walters for Cry a Little Deeper, Blaine Anderson for South of Always, and Bryce Mitchell also for South of always. Ouch, I would love to be a fly on the wall in their house tonight, “ he joked, and the whole audience laughed. Blaine and Bryce included.

“And the award goes to…. _Blaine Anderson for South of Always,_” the presenter yelled. Blaine smiled, standing up, noticing that his “_husband_” half-assed clapped for him.

Blaine went up on stage and was handed his first award. “Wow, I wasn't expecting this, I so thought it was going to go completely different, “ he heard several laughs and saw the camera as it panned over to Bryce, who grinned really big, his grin almost looking real

“Umm, first, I would like to thank my parents for always loving me for being there for me always. For my big brother Cooper Drew who got me into this crazy business, also even though she is asleep and wouldn't know what I was saying even if she wasn't, to my beautiful Sere, my life was completed the day you entered it, daddy loves you. To my friends who have always been there for me and Nemo, you know who you are. Thanks, “ he said with a smile, holding up his award and then walked off stage. He didn't mention Bryce at all and didn't care how it looked.

He was at a point where he was so mad he could care less. Their relationship, if it could even be called that, was crumbling, and he was tired of being the only one that seemed to care, from now on he was going to work on being happy again, he hoped that was with Bryce.

“We'll talk about this when we get home, “ he heard Bryce whisper beside him as soon as he sat back down.

“Oh… you're coming home?” Blaine said, looking at him, shocked, not caring that he was making Bryce madder, he could care less at this point.

“Don't be such a smart ass, Blaine,” Bryce said, turning away from him.

Blaine paid attention to the announcer and was shocked when he heard his name being called again. He knew he had been put in for the one award but not two. “For lead male role in a new series once again _Blaine Anderson,_” Blaine was in shock. When he walked on stage, he didn't know what to say.

“Wow, okay, Umm, I want to thank my manager for agreeing to sign me after knowing me for all of five minutes so I could sign a contract to work on this show with such a wonderful group of people. For Jack Martin our producer who never got upset when I flubbed a line once or ten times, ” he said laughing looking at Jack

“Thank you to NYADA's Carmen Tibideaux, for allowing me to go to such a wonderful school and learn so much. I know I wasn't there long, but you took a chance on a boy from Westerville, Ohio. Thank you.” Blaine said, walking off stage, once again not mentioning Bryce.

When he walked off stage, he saw Wes and David standing there waiting on him with a worried look on their faces. “Blaine, you know we love you, but what the hell are you doing? That’s twice you purposely didn't mention your husband's name,” Wes said looking at him concerned

“I know, I know, listen, Bryce and I are going to have a talk tonight. Can you guys come to my apartment tomorrow, and I can fill you in. I could really use your advice.” Blaine said and meant it. Out of all his friends he had David and Wes were the two he trusted the most. He could listen to them

oOoOo

When Blaine and Bryce walked into the apartment, Blaine quickly went and checked on Sere, paid the babysitter, walked her to the door, thanked her, and then walked into the living room. Bryce was in their pacing, looking completely pissed off. Blaine just stood there, head tipped sideways, watching him.

“Do you realize how stupid you made me look tonight? You thanked everyone but your husband, what the fuck Blaine,” Bryce said, raising his voice, it took everything Blaine had not to laugh at the way he was acting.

“It's funny how I have a husband when it is convenient for you,” Blaine said, still not raising his voice.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean, Blaine, seriously?” Bryce yelled.

“Well, it would seem to me that husbands spend time together, husbands talked on the phone, husbands let their husband know they are home, wait for them before walking the red carpet,” Blaine fired back, attempting to keep his temper in check. He had made Bryce a promise, and he was doing his best to keep it.

“So, because I showed up at the awards without you, that gave you the right to turn me into a laughing stock. I have to work with those people, Blaine. And what the hell were you doing letting that reporter flirt with you and not say a damn thing? You just stood there and grinned like an idiot,” Bryce said, turning his back and started pacing again.

Blaine just grinned at this, making Bryce more upset, and Blaine just wanted to laugh, wondering how much longer he was going to put up with this, he was honestly over it. “I didn't let him flirt with me. I showed up at an event alone. I had people asking me questions, doing interviews with me. If my husband had been there where he should have been, the guy probably wouldn't have flirted, so how is it my fault, Bryce?” Blaine asked once again, not even raising his voice.

“Forgive me for not waiting for you, for not holding your little hand,” Bryce continued.

“And forgive me because someone else decided I was worthy of flirty with, spending time with, talking too, I remember a time when my _husband_ thought that,” Blaine said, now getting mad but still not raising his voice.

“You know what Blaine? I'm tired. I'm tired of dealing with this, tired of dealing with you. I should have just gotten on a plane and headed back to the set instead of wasting time here with you,” Bryce said, finally stopping his pacing and balled up his fist, looking at Blaine with anger.

“What happened, Bryce? I don't understand. We were doing good, we were a family, and then you just started pulling away. Talk to me, Bryce. Help me understand any part of this. If I’ve done something wrong, if I haven't done something I should have, tell me, talk to me, so we can see if we can fix this,” Blaine said no longer mad, but feeling hurt. They had been fine one day sitting on the couch holding each other, being a family, and then overnight it was over.

Bryce just looks at him, knowing that this was all his fault, because yes, he was pulling away, he was regretting some of the decisions he’d made, things he’d done, and it was easier to take it out on Blaine than to take the blame for it. So instead, he argues, he causes fights anything he can to push Blaine away.

“I need to go, my flight leaves in an hour, and I am due back on set in the morning. When this is over, I’ll come home, and we can talk okay, work on us,” Bryce said before hugging Blaine for the first time in weeks, and then he is turning around and walking out the door.

When Wes and David came over the next morning, they talked for hours, Blaine telling them how things started out, and how he still didn't understand what happened, what had changed Bryce from the sweet person he had met to the one he was now married to. It was almost like he changed overnight like he was a different person.

oOoOo

When Bryce's movie wrapped, he came home. He had been gone for a month and hadn't called Blaine once, not even to check on Sere, and every time Blaine called him, he was always too busy learning his lines, rehearsing, filming. When Bryce came home, the promised talk never happened. Blaine kept trying. He finally went to bed at midnight, giving up. Blaine was so over this whole thing. He wasn't going to beg Bryce to talk. If he didn't want this anymore, he needed to say it and be done with it.

They had a major fight right before Bryce left for his next job, they hadn't seen each other in a month, and he was home for only one day and was leaving out again for Morocco. Blaine had finally had enough and told him. They had argued before, but Blaine had kept his promise he had made to Bryce when they first started dating. He would never raise his voice to him in anger again, and he hadn't.

This time he did, Bryce had started cursing and screaming in front of Sere, and Blaine had gone off. He hadn't spent more than twenty-four hours at a time with his husband in three of the four months they had been married. They had also not been intimate in the last two months, and the last time had only happened because Blaine had gotten tired of waiting for Bryce to come home, so he had booked a ticket for him and Sere to go to him.

Blaine was over it and went off. He had picked up Sere, carried her into her room, put her in her crib, before going back to confront Bryce, telling him he needed to stay home, to pass up on this job, and he refused.

“Bryce come on, you just got home last night, you have been home less than twenty-four hours, you haven't said more than ten words to Sere or me since you got here,” Blaine said getting frustrated.

“Blaine, I have a job to do, we can't all be trust fund babies who play at acting because they don't really have to worry about ever working. I have to work, I don't have that luxury,” Bryce said once again raising his voice.

“Play at acting, “**_Play at acting.” _****W**ho has two screen actors guild awards? Who has a teen choice award? All sitting in that awards cabinet right next to yours, other people don't seem to think I’m “_playing at acting,”_ and I would be able to do more if you weren't leaving all the time jetting here and there instead of staying home with _your child_ and _your_ husband,” Blaine said his voice rising even more.

“You know what I mean, Blaine. You don't have to work. You don't have to go from show to show, movie to movie to make sure you have enough money to pay your bills. You just had it handed to you. I do have to work. And as far as _my child_ goes you’re the one that wanted her”

“I’m the one that wanted her. I’m the one that wanted her “**_Me_**.” Blaine looked at him like he had just lost his mind “No I’m the person who woke up at 1 am and got on a plane with you to fly to London., I’m the one who was there to offer you support when your best friend died. I’m the one who stepped in to help you with a child you had no idea what to do with. She is your biological child. Yes, I wanted her, but I thought that you wanted her too. You acted like you wanted her.”

“Damn it, Blaine. I did want her, _I do want her,_” Bryce said, sitting down with a sigh looking almost defeated.

“Then stay with us, pass on this job, as you said, I’m a trust fund baby who will never have to work. I have every penny of my earnings from “South of Always” I can take care of you and Sere, you can take a break. You’ve been working nonstop since you were fourteen,” Blaine said, sitting down beside him, rubbing his hand up and down Bryce’s back, enjoying him being close again. He did miss him when he was gone even though this wasn't some great big love for Blaine, he did care and miss him.

“Blaine, I can't just sit back and not do anything, let you pay for everything. I’ve been working like you said most of my life. I’ve built a career, I have a fan base that is waiting for this next movie,” Bryce said looking at him

“What about your fan base in this house, Bryce? Your husband and your daughter? We miss you when you’re gone. When was the last time you were here to read Sere a book before she went to bed, give her a bath, or just snuggled with her? When was the last time we got to spend some time together as a couple, go out on a date, snuggle on the couch, talk about our day, or even be intimate? Do you know how long it has been? It’s been two months, Bryce,” Blaine said, looking at him?

“That is all you think about Blaine is sex. All we talk about is sex,” Bryce yelled again, jumping up.

“No Bryce, it isn't. We never talk about sex. I was just making a statement. If sex was all that was important, I would have initiated it last night instead of trying to talk to you. If sex was all it was about, I could get that anywhere. I want my husband. I want you home,” Blaine said, standing up too, looking at him, shocked because it was true, they never talked about sex because to Blaine, that wasn't all his relationship was about.

Yes, he loved it when they were able to be intimate, and he did miss it, but he missed the companionship more. He missed having his husband there, being able to roll over and snuggle behind him at night or feel Bryce snuggled behind him. If it was all about sex, he could take care of those things on his own. Blaine almost smiled when he remembered back to when he was in high school, and he had been in his room with Kurt how he had told him, “that’s why they invented masturbation.”

Things had been so much easier back then. Life was better. He so missed that, what they had together, created together, wishing for more than the hundredth time things could have been different. But mistakes had been made on both sides, and decisions had been made based on those mistakes.

He should never have had that thought, because now Kurt was in his thoughts again, not that he was really ever out of them, especially at night when Blaine was in bed alone, and he would lay there and think about the past, their time together, how close they had been. Blaine was married to Bryce, and it was still nowhere near as close as the connection he had, had with Kurt.

He thought of Kurt at night a lot, when he just wanted to find him and just hold him, kiss him, talk to him, he so missed just being able to pick up the phone and have a conversation with him. He still missed him so much. He missed his best friend and the closeness they had always had.

Eight months ago yesterday, they had broken up, and here he was a husband to someone else and a father, but Kurt was forever on his mind, always right there on the edge. He had lost count of how many times he had woken up alone in his bed hard and hurting because of a dream he’d had about Kurt, wondering, once again when he would stop thinking about him, loving him, and wanting him back so desperately, but he was married to Bryce. A decision he regretted daily, but a decision he had made on his own.

He would love to be able to look into those blue eyes again and then lean in and kiss him the way he used to, but he had messed up twice in his life and cheated. He would never do that again. Hearing Bryce's voice getting loud again snapped him out of his reverie.

“_Get it somewhere else, Blaine! _Get it somewhere else, _damn_.” Bryce said, raising his voice again, almost screaming “Fine, if that is what you want fine, go and get it somewhere else, see if I fucking care, why don't you go and get it from the wonderful Kurt, since I know you still love him, judging by the stupid videos you posted. I bet you even thought about him when I was lying on my back under you, and you were fucking my brains out.”

“You know what Bryce, go to hell. I have never once thought of cheating on you. I haven't wanted anyone else since the first time we made love,” Blaine said now beyond mad and only slightly lying. Yes, he did think of being with Kurt again, but would never act on it as long as he was married to Bryce

“Made love Blaine, made love, we didn't make love because you don't love me. You rammed your dick in my ass. I don't see that as making love, we had sex. That was nothing but sex pure and simple,” Bryce said, pointing his finger in Blaine's face.

Blaine just stands there staring at him, shocked and hurt. True, he didn't love him, but he had always been gentle with him. Blaine had never once been rough, and yes, he considers it making love. He had also never once forced himself on him, if Bryce didn't want it that was okay, he was fine, just holding him, hence it being two months since the last time they had done anything, and they only had intercourse three times the whole four months they had been married.

Bryce seemed to be okay with everything else they did but just wasn't fond of penetration. Blaine, who had never bottomed before, had always topped with Kurt, had bottomed once for Bryce to see if he would like it better, hoping at least that way they could have a normal sex life, but he hadn't liked that either. So Blaine contented himself with doing everything else that Bryce seemed to be okay with.

“I bet you said the same thing to Kurt before you cheated on him “_I haven't wanted anyone else since the first time we made love,” _Bryce said in a whiney imitation of Blaine's voice. “Why don't you go fuck him, oops, make_ love_ to him, he’s the one you love after all because you sure as hell won't be fucking me anytime soon,” Bryce said, and then he turned around and walked out the door slamming it behind him, leaving Blaine shocked and confused wondering where the hell that had come from.

Bryce had changed so much since they got married or was finally starting to show his true colors. Either way, Blaine was done...

That day Blaine went to a divorce lawyer. He signed papers to start the divorce process, and since he was the only one that had been there for Sere since the day they got her, he was going to fight for full custody.

Thank goodness Blaine had listened to his dad before getting married, because even though it was a quick wedding they had both signed a prenup, so they were both protected. He would wait for Bryce to come home and serve him with the papers then. This was over. He was so beyond done.


	10. He’s gone

oOoOo

Bryce never came home…

Blaine got a call in the middle of the night, letting him know that there had been an accident on set, and Bryce had been killed.

When Blaine got the call, he was devastated. He had just lost his husband. No, Blaine might not have loved him, but he did care about him deeply. He took Sere to his mom's so he could fly to Morocco to identify and claim the body and bring him home. That had been the longest flight of Blaine’s life. Sitting there huddled in his seat, crying. Thinking about the last ugly words, they had spoken to each other, wishing with everything he had that they could just rewind and redo. But there was no going back now. Bryce, his Bryce, was gone.

When he landed, someone from the production team met him at the airport and took him to the hospital morgue where Bryce had been taken until Blaine could get there. He was shown the body and cried again. Bryce still looked so beautiful.

From what Blaine had been told they were filming a scene for the movie where Bryce was riding a horse, something he had done most of his life and loved to do. Something had spooked the horse, and Bryce had been thrown. Before anyone could do anything, the horse had bucked up and slammed his hoofs into Bryce's chest hard enough to kill him. From what the doctor told Blaine, it was instant. He never felt anything.

They gave Blaine a few minutes alone with Bryce. He just stood there, rubbing his hand over Bryce’s hair, kissing his forehead, still in so much shock, still not believing that had happened. After he left the morgue, Blaine was taken to the US Embassy to start Repatriation to get Bryce’s body home. After Blaine had shown the Embassy his and Bryce’s id and marriage certificate, all necessary paperwork had been completed, and Bryce would be able to be taken home the next day. Blaine was then taken to the movie set that Bryce had been working on, and to the lawyer for the production company. Blaine stood there in shock as the lawyer went on and on about waivers of liability and insurance policies. He then apologized to Blaine for his loss and passed him some forms he wanted Blaine to sign.

Blaine stared at him, wondering if he was serious right now. He had just lost his husband, and the jerk wanted him to sign some forms saying that the studio had no liability for the _tragic accident._ That Bryce had wanted to do the scene, not letting his stunt double do it. Blaine refused, telling him to send anything needing his signature to his lawyer. Blaine was in no state of mind to sign anything, not that he would have anyway without his dad looking everything over first, and especially not after the way the lawyer acted. He would sign only after his dad had time to look them over. If everything looked in order, then Blaine would sign, but not before then.

After what seemed like hours of the studio lawyer droning on and on, Blaine was finally allowed access to Bryce's trailer so he could get any of his personal effects that Bryce might have stored there. Blaine wasn’t ready for that, how could anyone ever be ready for any part of this? He was still not believing any of this was real. Blaine went in, sat on the couch, and broke down. When he finally got himself together, he found Bryce's duffle bag that he always carried with him. Blaine had seen it the first time when they were on the set of "South of Always" together. Blaine unzipped it, thinking he could pack most of his stuff in it. When he looked down, he saw the journal that Bryce had always written since before they got married. He smiled, thinking that at least he could have that, Blaine could have some of Bryce's memories, his thoughts, something he could pass on to Sere.

He opened it up and flipped to what Bryce would have written their first day on the set, reading what he said, and it made him smile.

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"_Met Blaine today, I don't know what it was about him, but I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He is cute and funny, and I really had a good time with him. I see us becoming good friends. His brother, however, is a complete nut."_

Blaine could do nothing but laugh at this

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"_We had our first kissing scene just now. I had to walk away. I felt things I have never felt before, not even with Shey. I never thought that was possible. I have loved her for so long and so hard. I am still not even sure how to move on from her. How do you say goodbye to the love of your life, move on with someone new? Plus, Blaine is a man, a cute man, but still a man. I am so very confused right now_

"_Today, I did that tongue thing to Blaine when we were shooting one of our scenes. I have never done that to anyone but Shey. I am so lost and confused right now. He seems so very nice, he really does. I had to walk away and think again. I guess I just needed to breathe. I just realized that I felt something for him, an attraction to him that I have never felt before, strangely not even with Shey."_

Blaine just smiled, feeling a tear as it rolled down his face. They had felt the same thing.

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"_I went to Blaine's after work today. I had to talk to him. To see if I could figure out what was going on. He is such a damn good kisser. He is so sweet and gentle. We talked forever, he told me about Kurt or as I would say his Shey. But unfortunately, Kurt had done worse. I would never have thought that possible. He kissed me for real tonight. I thought the way he kissed on set was phenomenal, but in real life, it doesn't even come close. When I left, I wanted him so badly._

"_I told my parents and the studio what I had figured out. I wanted Blaine. I had always had feelings in the back of my mind, feelings for different people I couldn't understand until this morning, that is. I realized I was gay. I want to start something with Blaine, if possible. I’m scared, though, that he isn't going to want the same thing. He has been so hurt would he be willing to try again._

"_I woke up in Blaine's bed this morning. I felt comfortable and safe. I wanted to stay there all day, but we both had to work, and I still needed to go home and change before work. Now I know what I have been missing all these years, Blaine had me so hard. We had fallen asleep, or at least I had fallen asleep leaning on his shoulder. When I woke up, I was lying down on the couch with this beautiful man's arms around me, holding me so, so close. I loved it loved it. I stared at him for five minutes, just looking into that beautiful face."_

"_I shifted, and our cocks, connected, and I was instantly hard. I shifted my hips to try to get some kind of relief and managed to thrust into him again. OMG, the feelings it sent up my spine. He was so sweet; he just told me that if I didn't stop, I would get more than I had bargained for. He just had no idea that was exactly what I wanted. I wanted him so badly. I didn't really know what that meant, what that entailed, but I knew what I felt, I needed him."_

"_I watched him fall back to sleep and honestly tried to go to sleep, but the feeling didn't pass. I needed him to do something, what I didn't know but something. I pushed my hips against him again, and he took over from there. Oh wow. I have never felt like that before."_

"_The things he could do just pushing his hips into me, feeling his hard cock on mine, thrusting onto me. I was done for. I could handle that. I was in heaven. I swear I came harder than I ever have, then seeing him come out of the shower, seeing that body, his beautiful body without a shirt on had me hard all over again. I waited until he fell asleep, then I went into his bathroom and had to take care of myself. I didn't want to wake him up again. I didn't want to push him away, make him feel like I was too needy when I had just gotten him."_

Blaine read this and cried. He wished Bryce had woken him up. Blaine would have happily taken care of him. He had needed it to. Blaine reads through their first dates, the first time he had given Bryce a blowjob, the first time they had been intimate in the shower, coming so close to just taking him there with nothing but soap as lube, but he had deserved oh so much more for their first time together. Now more than ever, he was glad they had waited.

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_I made the mistake of pulling up Kurt's YouTube page today. I just wanted to see if he had put anything new there. I was in shock, because no, he didn't, but the next video that showed was from Blaine's page, he had created a page, and uploaded two videos of him singing songs that could have only been meant for Kurt. The only saving grace on that was that they were uploaded before we became a couple. I hope he is over it, him. I couldn't stand it if he isn't_

Blaine just stares, so that is what he meant during the argument right before he left when he said he saw Blaine's videos. Blaine wonders now if Kurt had seen them too.

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"_I got a call this morning at 1 am, asking if I knew someone named Shey Alexander, when I mumbled yes still almost asleep a woman went on to tell me she was Matron Abbot, from The Ashford hospital in London, that they had a Shey Alexander in their hospital who had listed me as her emergency contact, asking if I knew her._

_I sat bolt upright at this, waking Blaine up in the process. I said yes, I knew her. She went on to let me know Shey. MY Shey had been a passenger in a car that had been hit by a drunk driver. If I wanted to see her, I needed to get to Ashford hospital in London as quickly as possible. I sat there with tears running down my face, when Blaine saw me crying, he pulled me into his warm arms and held me the whole time I listened to the worst news of my life._

_Blaine was so awesome I couldn't function couldn't think of what I needed to do. He took care of everything; he got up, reserved a flight for us landing at Heathrow in eight hours. Blaine packed himself a bag, and then helped me get dressed and then drove me to my apartment and packed me a bag as well, making sure to help me put on my special shirt, the one I always needed when I was nervous or upset. How he remembered I would need that I don't know, he just always seems to know what to do and thinks of everything. He double-checked that I had my passport, and we were on our way._

_He held my hand the whole way, even though I had learned early on that he wasn't really big on PDA. He never let me go. He let me sleep and cry on his shoulder. When we landed, he got us a cab and got us to the hospital. Unfortunately, we got there thirty minutes too late. I lost her. I lost my sweet Shey. How am I supposed to survive this? Blaine just held me tight and let me cry it out._

_My world then spun completely out of control when one of the nurses walked in with an infant, saying that she was Shey's daughter and that I was listed on the birth certificate as the father. I was advised that the baby had been in the car as well she had been checked out, and because she had been in a car seat at the time of the accident, she was unhurt._

_They ask for her safety if I could please show them my passport to verify I really was Bryce Mitchell. They matched the name on the passport with the one on the birth certificate, and then someone from the hospital legal department said everything was in order. Then I was handed my passport back along with the baby and her birth certificate. I just stood there, staring not knowing what to do._

_Blaine, sweet, perfect Blaine, took care of everything once again. He took the baby from me, gently placed her on his shoulder, before pulling me back into his arms again, and he just held me so tight he always makes me feel so safe._

_I was advised the baby's name was Serene, and I had to laugh. When we had first met Me, and Shey had been on location for a film being shot about the Serengeti. She loved that name, the people, and the area. Shey always said that if she ever had a daughter, she would name her Serene. She had done it too, had that little girl, named her Serene, but she had just forgotten to tell me._

_I had a million things running through my mind trying to figure out if she was mine or not. We had broken up just under a year ago, and Serene was three months old. She looked a lot like me. She was mine. I no longer had a doubt. Blaine once again was perfect. He worked with the US embassy to get her a passport. She had dual citizenship already, so we just had to wait two weeks for that before I could take her home. Thank god for Blaine knowing about kids. I am lost already._

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_Blaine asked me to marry him today. It wasn't some grand proposal like the one he had given Kurt. In the video, with Kurt, I could tell Blaine had put a lot of time and thought into it to make it special. I got "Let's get married Sere needs a family, she deserves to have two people who love her," but that's ok, unlike Kurt I won't walk away from him, we will get married, but, in the back of my mind I have to wonder if he would have asked, and would I have accepted if not for Sere. _

_We haven't been a couple that long, but he would really be a big help with her, he already was, it may not be love, but I really care about him, and he is a good man, I don't think I will do any better._

_My feelings for him grow more and more every day. I agreed. We aren't having a big wedding we are going to get married while we are in London, we will simply go to the Magistrate's office, have the ceremony, while we are waiting for Sere's passport._

_It is still so weird that she looks so much like Blaine. He could have been the father as much as me that will be good, though, it will make us even more connected. He wants to adopt her so we will be a true family, we talked about it. I think it will be good. I had always loved the name papa, so I am papa, and Blaine is daddy, can't get any more perfect than that._

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_Blaine talked to his parents today while I talked to mine, we let them know about Sere, and that we are going to get married tomorrow, they were all in shock, wondering if we were moving too fast, but they were happy for us. Both sets of parents were ecstatic at the thought of being grandparents. Too bad none of our family can be here for it, but we can always have some kind of ceremony later._

_I asked my dad if it was bigamy if I married Blaine since I was still technically married to Jennifer. When I had told Blaine that we ended when we were 16 because of the pressure and separation, I left out the part where Jennifer and I had gotten married. Our parents signed for it when we found out she was pregnant. Losing the baby and me not being around is what caused the separation._

_When I got older, I figured if I needed to later, I could worry about a divorce then. Dad says that since Jennifer was a girl, and Blaine, a man, it wasn't bigamy. I could marry him. I would be smart, though, to not say anything to Blaine about it. In that, I knew my dad was right. I wanted to marry Blaine, because I liked being with him and because he was so good with Sere. I don't want to mess things up with him by talking about something that wasn't important._

_To me, I could legally marry him, and that is what I plan on doing…_

Blaine just sat there in shock, staring at the journal, at those words, those stupid words written there. He wasn't married. He had never technically been married. He had wasted six months of his life on someone who wasn't worth it, between the two months they had dated and the four they were "married." How could Bryce have been so stupid to think just because Jennifer was a girl and Blaine a man, that them being married wasn't bigamy? How could he really have been that completely stupid? Blaine was so beyond pissed.

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_Blaine's dad was smart; he worked with a solicitor here in London, and they created a prenup for us, which was the smartest thing I could have done, that way, if Blaine gets pissed, he can't take me for everything I have._

Blaine just looked at this, rereading it, getting pissed off even more. That Bryce would think he would ever take advantage. Especially knowing he had more money than him anyway.

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_Yesterday morning we got married. It was nice, well, Blaine made it as nice as possible. I am still so sad after losing Shey, but I know I have to move forward, move on if not for myself then for my daughter._

_We ate lunch and then spent the rest of the day playing tourist. He had been here four years ago with his parents and showed me several of the places he had loved. He even thought of buying a stroller for Sere. He is already a wonderful daddy for her. I feel like I have made the right decision in marrying him, well, until last night, that is._

_Last night was our wedding night, I am not really sure what I expected, but it wasn't that for sure. I have really enjoyed everything me and Blaine have done up until last night. Looking back on the first time we did anything together. I have to laugh at how innocent I was when I asked is that all there was to sex between two men. He had given me a small laugh and sweetly said no, that I wasn't ready for anything more yet._

_Everything we had done from there had been this sweet progression. Blaine was always thoughtful, kind, and patient with me, teaching me things, showing me love. He was perfect. Last night, however, we were a married couple, it was our wedding night. We stopped at a drug store, and he bought condoms and lube. I understood the condoms, I have been using them since the first time I had had sex, but the lube I didn't really understand. Now I do._

_I didn't like it at all, it felt wrong, and how could he like doing that, it felt so unnatural. He enjoyed himself, I could tell by the noises he was making. He was gentle and took his time explaining to me the whole time what he was doing and why. He took a lot of time with what he called the prep, and then when he thought I was stretched (as he called it) enough, he climbed on top of me and entered me._

_It hurt so bad, even though he went slow, it still hurt. How can anyone put themselves through something like that over and over, I have made a big mistake, I can't do this it just feels so unnatural._

_He woke me up at 3 am this morning, wanting it again. He had me on my knees this time, entered me slower, I guess knowing I would be sore from last night, it was a little easier, but I still didn't like it. How do you tell your new husband you don't like having sex with him?_

Blaine was in shock, Bryce had finally told him four days after they were married that he didn't like it, he didn't think he could do it again. Blaine had just assumed they would wait a while and try it again. Bryce had never told him it felt unnatural.

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_We have been married for six days, and everything is so perfect. Blaine is attentive to both me and Sere. He always seems to hear her cry before me at night, so he gets up and takes care of her and just lets me sleep. He is more amazing than I thought he was, he can make Sere stop crying simply by picking her up. I love watching him sing to her. He has the most amazing voice._

_He is kind and caring and takes such good care of both of us. He is amazing, and I honestly think I am falling in love with my husband. I have to smile at that word, husband. He is so perfect. I know I made the right decision marrying him._

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_Oh hell, what have I done? He wanted it again last night. I thought maybe he was over it. We had gone back to the sweet stuff we had been doing up until we got married, but last night he said he wanted to try something else to see if I liked it any better. I finally had to be honest with him, let him know that I didn't really enjoy it._

_Last night he decided that I would do what he called topping. I prepped him the way he had done to me. This would be his first time at this too. He had always topped every time. I got him prepped until he said he was ready, and then I entered him slowly, trying to be as gentle with him as he was with me. I started moving, and it did feel a little better that way, but I still didn't like it, he seemed to enjoy it a lot, judging by the moans he made, and the way he moved under me._

_Once he went to sleep, I went to the bathroom and threw up. That whole thing was wrong, how can he like any part of that. How can he enjoy doing that so much? What in the hell have I done? I can't do this anymore._

Blaine just sat there and stared at what he just read, shaking his head, he had no idea Bryce had felt like that. He knew that he wasn't fond of it, but didn't know he had thrown up after, that Bryce had been that repulsed having sex with him. He had always tried to be caring and gentle.

_\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_Blaine and I have finally settled into our relationship. We both decided we needed a bigger apartment when we got home. We found this amazing two bedroom not far from where Cooper lives, which is good because I love that area. Blaine has spent so much time on the nursery for Sere. He is crazy about that little girl already. I wish I could say the same._

_I feel nothing for her at all. I have never really wanted kids, always told anyone that asked that I would never have any. He just babies her. I am really just wishing I hadn't married him, but I knew that if I didn't, I would be dealing with this on my own. I couldn't put Shey's baby into the system, knowing how bad she had had it, so when Blaine asked, I jumped on it. I was stupid…._

_We have gone back to just doing the things we were doing before we got married and he seems ok with it. We are intimate more often since we are living together now, sometimes I really just want to roll over and go to sleep, but, since I am not really giving him all he wants, I feel I can lay there and take it. It usually feels good anyway, and he always makes sure to get me off._

Blaine sets up straight reading that again. Take it, take it, he just took it? What the hell. Most of the time, Blaine had only done things because it seemed like Bryce wanted to. There were many times he had done stuff when all HE wanted to do was roll over and go to sleep. He loved taking care of Sere, but taking care of an infant on your own can tire a person out quickly.

Bryce never really got into the co-parenting thing and was happy just to sit back and let Blaine get up several times a night, was happy to let Blaine change every single diaper, feed her every bottle. Blaine couldn't believe he had just read that, that Bryce had the nerve to write that.

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_We sat down and talked to a lawyer today, Blaine decided he wanted to update his will and add me as the beneficiary for all his accounts and his life insurance policy; he did have his parents listed. He also had it put in that Sere got ¼ of his net worth should something happen to him and the rest would come to me._

_I have never seen so many zeros on a financial statement. I knew Blaine had money, but damn. I thought the prenup was a good thing for me, but now I know it was protecting Blaine, especially since in the state of California, I could almost wipe him out._

_I went ahead and created a will leaving all my worldly goods to Blaine, knowing he would take care of Sere always._

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_How the hell did he win the people's choice award over me? I have been acting since I was fucking fourteen years old. He walked in off the street because of his stupid brother and stumbled on a good role. Because he sure as hell isn't an actor. I was upset when he got nominated with me for the same role, pissed off when he wouldn't refuse the nomination, but I would never have thought he would beat me out of it. I work hard at my craft, and he just plays at it. I don't understand at all, I mean WTF for real. If it weren't for me being his husband, he wouldn't get near the commercials he is oh so proud to do, he just doesn't fucking realize he is just riding on my coattails._

Blaine just sat there staring, riding on his coattails, playing at acting. Wow

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_Since the show has wrapped and we now have Sere, we decided that one of us would always stay home with her. If one of us was going to be on location with a project, the other would not do anything that would take them away from home. We would just keep it to local productions._

_I got a call before he did, so I left out for Texas for a two-week shoot. I love it here, and to be honest, love the separation from him and her. How and when did my life start to suck this bad? I so regret him and her. I wish I could just walk away. I’m starting to really hate them both, but the good thing I can say about Blaine is that I have a built-in babysitter._

_I could have been stuck dealing with that little brat on my own. I have started staying away from home more and more, staying away from him. He gets on my last nerve, I swear. I purposely pick fights with him, so I don't have to talk to him. I love to sit back and see just how many buttons I can push, just how far I can push him. _

_I so want to laugh. He isn't getting any, I have purposely stayed away and not letting him touch me to see how long it takes him to cheat, perfect reasons for a divorce, right? Plus, there was a clause in the prenup that said if he cheated on me, I got paid the amount I would have gotten if we made it for ten years. _

_So if I play my cards right, completely cut him off eventually, he will cheat. I am doing the same things he said Kurt did to him. I’m purposely ignoring his calls, not that I want to talk to him anyway, refusing to Skype with him. Let's see how far I can let this go, how quick I can make him cheat. I get my divorce and get paid for doing it. _

If Blaine hadn't already started hating Bryce before the accident, before he read this, he would have now. All the fights they had, putting his life on hold. The months Blaine had sat at home when he could have been doing something to make himself happy with someone he loved. He knows he should have ended it sooner, but he was really trying to make them work

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_I ran into Jessica yesterday, our first day on the set, and man….. She was hotter than I remember. We did this kissing scene, and wow, we ended up back in my trailer, and I took her like a crazy man. We ended up doing it twice in my trailer, and then I took her to my room, and we did it all night long. I have so missed that, plowing into her. She had always enjoyed it rough, and I gave it to her hard._

_The funny thing was that at one point, I rolled her over on her knees and entered her from behind. Luckily I had some lube with me, it sure as hell didn't feel like the time I took Blaine, I came harder than I ever had._

He cheated, Blaine thought we had been married a month and a half, and he cheated on me. His hatred for Bryce just grew more. He can't believe he had wasted four months of his life with him, Blaine wasn't hurt or really upset about the cheating itself, but the time he had spent in a marriage he had daily grown to hate. If he had known, he would have asked for a divorce sooner. The only thing that stopped him was Sere, trying to keep her family whole.

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_I have always managed to have a job lined up, so I don't have to go home to him or his daughter for more than a day at a time. I don't feel like she is mine. I feel no connection with him or her. I have talked to a lawyer and have decided to file for divorce and give him full custody. I also need to change my will leaving everything to my parents again. He has enough money, he sure as hell doesn't need mine. Once the divorce is final, I want no part of either one of them again. I wish I hadn't jumped into this marriage or whatever the hell you want to call this sham I am living._

_Jessica and I are getting closer, even if she isn't in the particular project I am on, she always manages to be where I am. It caused a tricky situation for me last month, though. I had planned on going to her room when I was done on set, she came over and talked to me, and she left me horny as hell, I was so looking forward to screwing her brains out. I went to my motel room only to find Blaine there. He apparently had gotten tired of waiting on me to decide to come home, so he came to see me._

_I had to go into the restroom to cancel Jessica, and when I came out, he had put Sere in her stroller, he wanted to talk. He just kept saying that he missed me at home, missed us spending time together, wasn't I ready to come home yet, didn't I miss us. He then started kissing me gently at first, rubbing his hands up and down my back, trying to be this loving husband_

_I could feel him starting to get turned on, and then he was kissing me deep and hard, pushing me back against the wall, thrusting his hips against me, kissing me on my neck the whole time. I can't believe I ever liked him doing that, ever felt anything, because now… I hated it, hated every second of it, almost as much as I was starting to hate him. I played my part, though, acted like I was into it like I wanted it._

_He really seemed to enjoy himself, kept whispering "come for me baby" in my ear, I so just wanted to laugh at this, he slid his hand between me and the wall squeezing my ass, pulling my hips closer, increasing the pressure from his hips. He soon picked me up and carried me to the bed. I guess he didn't get the friction he wanted standing up, so he put me on the bed and was all over me._

_He started humping me faster, he kept whispering come on baby cum for me, cum for me baby and then he was coming with almost a guttural scream, thank god it didn't take him long, probably since it had been a while since I had let him touch me, I have to almost laugh at that I am banging Jessica almost daily, and Blaine is sitting at home being a good little boy, with nothing but his own hand to hold him... _

_He did finish me off with a blowjob though, he has always been amazing at that, so I was finally able to cum. He wanted to cuddle with me afterward, and I just wanted him to get the fuck off of me. I need to end this soon. I can't keep doing this._

_I need to tell him I am not gay, that when he fucked me the two times he did and the one time he made me fuck him, it just creeped me out, the thought of him touching me makes my skin crawl. I know I am not gay. I don't even know what made me think I was. But I have been with Jessica for months, and as soon as I can get out of this hell they call marriage, I am going to move in with her, and have a normal life again, one that doesn't include a husband or a baby, now to figure out how to do that._

_\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_We had this massive fight before I left this time. He talked about us being intimate, "We haven't been intimate in two months" blah, blah, blah, why does he say intimate for. Call it what it is... sex. He tries to make it sound better than it is, like it is this loving thing. It isn't, I hate him even touching me, but so love teasing, making him think he was going to get lucky, I have been playing this game for two months, wonder how long I can push it, push him, until he finally cracks and cheats..._

_I try not to be with him any more than I have to. I am over him and her… I told him to go fuck Kurt. I can still see his face and just want to laugh._

_I have two weeks to film in Morocco, two weeks away from them, two weeks I can just spend sinking into Jessica. Oh, this is going to be a wonderful two weeks ; -}_

_\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Blaine stared at the last entry in the book, the words according to the date had been written the morning of his accident. Blaine threw the journal across the room, his hate now complete. He had never hated anyone in his life, not even the guys that had beat him up after the Sadie Hawkins dance. But he hated Bryce, hated the time he had wasted on him. The only good thing that came out of his marriage that come to find out wasn't a marriage at all was Sere.

Blaine went over, picked up the journal. He would destroy it when he got home. He would never allow his daughter to read the words written. He didn't want her to know the kind of papa she had had. Thank god they had gotten the adoption process completed right after they got home from London, Sere was legally his.

Blaine walked up to the production assistant and let her know there was nothing of Bryce’s he wanted from the trailer. She was free to let Jessica have free reign and take whatever she wanted. Blaine could tell from one glance the woman knew all about Jessica, which made him wonder how many other people on set did. Was it public knowledge that Bryce was cheating on his husband?

Blaine was finally able to get everything in order to get Bryce home, not that he can bring himself to care anymore, he had no feelings left for Bryce except pure hate. The only good thing that had come from that relationship was Sere, and he knew he would do it all again if it meant getting her. Blaine decided he would let Bryce's parents handle the funeral arrangement. He would pay for all the expenses but wanted nothing to do with anything else. He wouldn't be there, letting the paparazzi take pictures of the _grieving_ husband.

Blaine went to see the Mitchells when he got back to California, not really caring that they were grieving the loss of their son, he was so beyond caring about their feelings, knowing they had had no concern for his. They had knowingly allowed Blaine and Bryce to get married, even though they knew Bryce wasn’t free to do so. Blaine told them that as far as he was concerned, they were no longer Sere’s grandparents. They would no longer have any part in her life. He went on to let them know about the long conversations he and Bryce had had about how the Mitchells had used Bryce’s money as their own, almost making him beg for everything. He told them that Bryce had changed his will leaving everything to him. He got everything from Bryce’s estate and that it would be passed on to Sere. As of now, they would no longer have access to any of Bryce's finances. They would have to learn to survive on their own. All income that had been being paid out to them would be ending.

Blaine knew he was being vindictive, knows he should have waited before saying what he did, but after everything he had read in Bryce’s journal, knowing the Mitchell’s had not only known but had pushed Bryce to keep his mouth shut, Blaine couldn’t make himself care.

Once he walked away from the Mitchells, he went back to his apartment, packed a bag. He was going to his parents to pick up his girl. The minute Blaine got on the plane, he knew what he was going to do. He was going _home, _he just hoped it wasn't too late. Blaine pulled out his phone and made the most important call of his life.

"Kurt, it's Blaine can we talk….."

A/N: Ok, that will be the last update on this story this week. I need to try to update one of the other two I am working on. Thank you for reading and for the reviews.


	11. Kurt

oOoOo

Kurt couldn’t believe just how stupid he had been. He had ended it with Blaine, he had pushed him away one too many times, and this time Blaine was through, he wasn’t coming back. Kurt had always thought in the back of his mind, Blaine would just be there waiting for him to come back, that Blaine would be ready to get back together when Kurt was. He realized too late just how wrong he had been when he had gotten back to Lima.

He’d heard that Blaine and Rachel had both gone back to Ohio, Blaine to coach the Warblers, and Rachel trying to revamp the New Directions, he took a break from school and followed them. He had wanted to be where they were. Kurt was hoping that if he was there too, he could somehow win Blaine back, somehow work things out, the way they had always worked things out before.

When he’d found out that Blaine was with Dave, Kurt realized how wrong he had been. He had just never seen the possibility that Blaine would date someone else, let alone move in with them. Blaine had always just been Kurt’s, and he had always thought Blaine would stay that way, why he didn’t know. Blaine was too good of a person to be alone. He deserved someone to treat him as special as he was, in a way that Kurt now realized he never had.

He misses Blaine and the way they used to be, the way they could talk about anything or just sit quietly together, saying nothing, just being them. He hated the distance between them now, the distance he had created. Nothing felt right anymore. There was a tension between them that had never been there before. A quiet silence that just felt so wrong.

They had seemed to be getting close again, especially after Sue had locked them in her fake elevator that kiss they had shared had been magical, almost up there with the first kiss they had ever shared, back when everything was so new, and they had been so nervous. He can still remember the feeling of Blaine’s lips on his, wishing with all his heart he could feel them again.

After they got out of the elevator, they seemed to reconnect somehow. They were talking, joking again, and anytime they were together, Blaine always hugged him goodbye. After Rachel’s house party, when he had walked with Blaine outside, they had kissed, and just like that Kurt was home, everything seemed so perfect. He had loved the feeling of being back in Blaine’s arms again, knowing if he ever got the chance, he would never leave them again.

When he had heard a few days later that Blaine and Dave had broken up, he had been hopeful. Hoping that they would be able to talk everything out, manage to fix them again, get back to where they were. He knew it would take a lot of work to get Blaine to trust him again, and that was time he would willingly spend. Kurt remembered after they had gotten back together the first time after Blaine had cheated, he had always told Kurt that if their time apart had taught him anything, it was that nothing was worth them being apart again, Kurt felt the same. He would never do anything to break them apart again if he ever got Blaine back.

When they had made love, Kurt had wanted to cry. It had been so perfect, Blaine had been so sweet, caring and gentle, he had fallen in love with him all over again, everything looked like it was going to work out until Blaine had pulled out of him and walked away to the bathroom. Blaine had always wanted to cuddle after they made love, but this time Blain had just walked away. He brought Kurt back a washcloth, which threw him as well. Blaine had always wanted to be the one to clean Kurt off, lovingly taking care of him, a lot of times kissing his stomach afterward. Those were his first signs that something was very wrong.

When Blaine had sat down, he wouldn’t look at him, just kept rubbing his hand over his face, when Kurt had finally asked if everything was ok Blaine had said: “_Not really Kurt that should never have happened, we should not have done that, it was a mistake_.”

Kurt had never once thought anything that they had done could ever be considered a mistake, especially making love, but in that instant, his world ended, his Blaine wasn’t his anymore. If he hadn’t known it before that moment, he knew it then. It had been magical and perfect until it was over, and Blaine had looked at him and said it had been a mistake.

He didn’t see Blaine again. Kurt heard through mutual friends that Blaine had turned in his two-week notice and left town, Blaine hadn’t even said goodbye, he had just left. Kurt had stayed and helped Rachel get the New Directions back up and running, and then he had gone back to New York, back to the life he had once wanted and thought was so important. More important than the relationship he had with his boyfriend. Now Kurt would trade everything if it meant he could have Blaine back again.

oOoOo

When he had gotten back to New York, Kurt went back to NYADA. He was only taking two classes that semester, so he also went back to Vogue working for Isabelle again, he immersed himself in his job. Still, nothing felt the same. Nothing would ever feel the same again. He had lost Blaine for good. He had finally pushed him too far, and there was no coming back from that. He could understand it, he really could, but it didn’t make it any easier to deal with.

Two weeks after Kurt had gone back to New York, Rachel had stopped by the loft on her way home to Lima. She had done an interview in California, and she had looked so excited. Rachel had seen Blaine, had talked to him. She found out that after leaving Lima, Blaine had gone to Los Angeles to spend some time with Cooper and had landed a role in a new tv show they were filming. When Kurt had asked her how Blaine was, she just said he looked good, that he seemed happy, and appeared to be in a good place.

“_I need to tell you, though. He seems to have met someone. He introduced him as a ‘friend,’ but judging from the body language, I think it might have been more. I’m sorry, Kurt I just thought you needed to know,” _Rachel said, hating the hurt look that crossed Kurt’s face.

“_Was it someone I would recognize_?” Kurt had asked, glad she had told him, but upset as well. Kurt had never thought about Blaine moving on like that. At least this way, he wouldn’t be shocked when he read about it in the tabloids.

“_Oh yeah, someone you would definitely recognize. Bryce Mitchell_,” Rachel had said, and Kurt’s world had fallen apart.

“_Hey Kurt, it’s gonna be ok. He did have a message for you_,” Rachel had continued

“_What_,” Kurt had sat there looking at her, wondering if there was anything she could say that could give him any kind of hope.

“_He_ _wanted me to tell you hi, and that he was thinking about you. See? That’s a good thing, right? Listen, I need to go. I just wanted to stop and let you know. I love you, Kurt, don’t give up hope yet,”_ Rachel had said right before she walked out the door. Kurt had tried to hold out hope he did until he no longer had a reason to.

The week of their anniversary, the first one they would be spending apart, Kurt had felt so very down. He had created a YouTube channel. He had been trying to figure out a way he could fight for Blaine. When they had broken up the first time, Blaine had always done little things to let Kurt know that he still loved him that he still wanted him, was still thinking about him, he had fought to get Kurt back. Kurt wanted to do the same thing. He wanted to fight for Blaine, fight to let him know that he still loved him and wanted him back. The only way that Kurt could think of to do that was to fall back on their old routine. If they needed to say something to each other and sometimes just couldn’t find the words, they would say it in song. Kurt decided to set up a YouTube channel dedicated to Blaine. If he couldn’t see Blaine personally, he could at least post his thoughts on there. Kurt wanted Blaine to know he wanted him back. He posted his first video on their anniversary. He didn’t know if Blaine would see it, but he wanted to do something, he had to try, he needed Blaine back in his life, even if just as friends, his world had been just wrong without him being in it.

Kurt felt hopeful that that might be possible when he had stumbled across Blaine’s YouTube channel. Kurt saw the videos that Blaine had posted, knowing that they had been put on there for him. Kurt had watched them over and over, crying like a baby, wondering for the millionth time how he could have just walked away from the best thing that had ever happened to him, which made him cry even harder. In the back of his mind, Kurt held out hope. Blaine was thinking about him, Blaine had sent him a message both with Rachel and then by creating a channel and posting the video’s he had recorded. No, Blaine might not be ready to talk yet, but he was reaching out in his own way to let Kurt know he still thought about him.

Kurt carried that hope in his heart, until, that is, he read on the cover of every single magazine, he saw, including Vogue, and saw on every TV channel and news outlet that Blaine Anderson and Bryce Mitchell had gotten married in London. The reports then went on to say that not only were they married, but that Blaine would be adopting Bryce’s child. Kurt had been devastated, and he was finally forced to give up hope. He had lost Blaine for good. He honestly didn’t know how he was going to survive it. Blaine had been his for four years, and now, he was lost to him forever.

When it was time for the People’s Choice Awards, Kurt went back to Lima. He had watched that award show for as long as he could remember first with Rachel and Mercedes, and then once Blaine had entered his life, Kurt had watched it with him either snuggled up on the couch or cuddling with him in bed. When Kurt had learned that Blaine was not only going to be performing, but was also up for an award, Kurt knew he couldn’t miss it, but also knew he couldn’t watch it alone. He needed to have someone with him.

It had been so long since he saw Blaine sing, the last time had been their duet at Rachel’s. He watched as Blaine walked out on stage, he looked at the camera and smiled that smile that Blaine had always saved just for him alone, _his _smile and Kurt couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down his face. He hurt so bad, thinking of all he had given up, pushed away from fear. Instead of just talking to Blaine explaining how he felt so that they could work it out, he had ended them

Kurt almost turned the TV off, honestly not knowing if he would be able to sit there and watch it, but Rachel had stopped him. She knew that he would regret it if he didn’t finish the show. He smiled when he heard the beginning chords of the song Blaine started playing on the piano, smiling _his _smile into the camera before he stood up and the curtains open and Kurt watched as all the original Warblers walked out in their uniforms, handing Blaine a blazer to put on. Then they got into the standard Warbler formation and helped Blaine finish singing “Teenage Dream,” the song that had started everything, and at one point, ended it as well. Kurt could only laugh as he watched Blaine do all the facial expressions Kurt had fallen so in love with that day.

Kurt about fell out of his seat as he watched Blaine walk up to the mic, and take his blazer off, throwing it over his shoulder the way Kurt had seen him do so many times after their last class of the day before he left Dalton. Kurt had always thought Blaine looked sexy standing there like that. He remembered his heart always skipped a beat like it started to do then. But what really got Kurt was when Blaine smiled into the camera and said, “_That’s_ _for you, Nemo, hope you liked it_,” and then he winked. Kurt couldn’t believe what he had just seen Blaine do, heard what he just said. Kurt had known in that instant that Blaine was talking to him. Only the two of them would understand the meaning of Nemo. Kurt sat there in shock with his mouth open before a smile spread across his face. That is when Kurt saw the bracelet on Blaine’s left arm, the bracelet he had placed there when they had gotten engaged. Kurt had wanted something for Blaine to wear, and he knew a bracelet would fit Blaine’s personality more than a ring would.

When Kurt had placed it on his wrist, Blaine had leaned over and placed the softest, sweetest kiss on Kurt’s lips. He promised he would never take it off. He would always wear it. After their breakup, Blaine had taken it off after all. That had been one of the first things Kurt noticed the night he had met Blaine at Scandals. He no longer wore the bracelet. Kurt’s heart had broken a little that day, wondering if Blaine had thrown it away, gotten rid of it like it meant nothing. Kurt couldn’t really have blamed him if he had, Kurt, had, after all, taken off his engagement ring, but he had put it somewhere safe. He had put it back in the box it came in and placed it and the chewing gum wrapper promise ring Blaine had made for him in high school, in the top drawer of his dresser, so he always knew where they were and he knew that they were safe. Those rings still meant something to him. They were important.

Kurt didn’t know why seeing that bracelet on Blaine’s arm again made him so happy. Blaine was still married, and if Kurt looked close enough, he could still see that little gold band encircling Blaine’s ring finger, so, therefore, Blaine was still out of Kurt’s reach. He knew that Blaine had learned his lesson about cheating the hard way, and he would never do it again.

He and Rachel continued watching the show. They cheered when Blaine won his award. Kurt’s mouth flew open again when he walked up to the mic and thanked his parents, his brother and little girl, but then looked into the camera and said “_To my friends who have always been there for me, and Nemo, you know who you are_,” and then held up the award. Kurt noticed right away that he hadn’t mentioned Bryce at all.

“Who is Nemo?” Rachel asked him, looking confused.

“I’m not sure,” Kurt said, that nickname was something special between the two of them, and he couldn’t share it with anyone, not even Rachel. It meant too much.

He proudly watched as Blaine walked up and accepted his second award of the night, looking shocked, like he didn’t deserve it. Blaine had always been an amazing actor, Kurt remembered when Blaine had played Tony in Westside story, he had been so good, and Kurt still stands by what he said that day, that Blaine made the perfect Tony.

He had watched him perform short skits in some of NYADAs plays. Then there was the work he had done in South of Always. He deserved that award, and Kurt figured everyone, but Blaine knew it. He had just had that thought when the camera panned over to Bryce, Kurt could have sworn he saw a look of almost hatred cross his face before he quickly replaced it with a big fake smile.

oOoOo

Kurt woke up to his alarm blaring a country song. Why?…. He doesn’t listen to country, but that was definitely a country song that was playing.

_ I’m already there_   
_Take a look around_   
_I’m the sunshine in your hair_   
_I’m the shadow on the ground_   
_I’m the whisper in the wind_   
_And I’ll be there until the end_   
_Can you feel the love that we share?_   
_Oh, I’m already there_   
_Oh, I’m already there_

He was trying to roll over and find the button to turn off the alarm when the song finally ended, and the DJ started talking.

“We’re sending that out to the family of Bryce Mitchell. It was confirmed this morning by a spokesperson for the family, that Mr. Mitchell was killed in an accident while filming on set for his most recent movie. He leaves behind his husband, Blaine Anderson, his seven-month-old daughter Sere and his mom and dad. The family has asked for privacy during this difficult time, our thoughts are with you all.” the DJ stated

Kurt bolts up into a sitting position and quickly reaches for his TV remote. He turns on fox news, not believing this. “We are saddened by the loss of one of our favorite actors. It has been confirmed by the manager of Blaine Anderson, that his husband has been killed in an onset accident. Our thoughts and prayers go out to Blaine, their seven-month-old daughter, and the rest of the family. Mr. Anderson’s manager has requested privacy for the family at this time as they deal with tragedy and try to make sense of it.”

After the announcement, they started showing different scenes from the different movies and shows that Bryce had been in, one of the clips they show was one that Blaine had been in with Bryce while they were still filming South of Always, they seemed to have so much chemistry.

Kurt had watched every single episode of that show. It had let him see Blaine again. He had looked so happy. Kurt cried for him because even though Blaine was no longer his, he hated the pain Blaine must be going through right now, wishing he could be there for him, be his friend again, but he knows that will likely never happen again.

He had pushed Blaine away, broke up with him, and broke his heart. He thinks back to that night over and over and wonders every time how he could have been that stupid just to let him go, to walk away from the best thing he had ever had in his life. Kurt wonders how he hadn’t learned his lesson after their time apart when they had broken up the first time. He had been so miserable, so alone. But no, like an idiot, he had broken up with him again. No wonder Blaine couldn’t take a chance on him again, couldn’t trust him who could blame him.

He watched the rest of the broadcast that showed Blaine walking through the airport looking devastated, head down not looking at the cameras, ignoring all the questions that the paparazzi were asking him. He just kept walking.

Kurt was in shock, he got up and ran to his computer and everything on his home page was stories about the death of Bryce Mitchell, and pictures of Blaine looking so lost, and in shock, but also, to someone who knows Blaine as well as Kurt does, knows his facial expressions, he looked pissed off. That wasn’t a look Kurt had expected. The lost, shocked look yes, but the pissed off look….

Kurt had only seen that look twice on Blaine’s face, but would always remember when and what had caused it. The first time he had seen that look on Blaine’s face had been after he had found the text messages from Chandler on Kurt’s phone. He had looked at Kurt, shocked, betrayed, hurt, and yes, pissed, not understanding, and then he had turned around and left Kurt’s room.

Looking back on it now he knows that if he had seen those text messages on Blaine’s phone, he would have been pissed off too, and also looking back, Kurt could see Blaine’s point of view, because it _had _been a form of cheating, now that he was older and more mature, he could see it.

Another time he had seen that look was the night they had broken up for the second time. Once again, Blaine had looked so hurt, not understanding, and trying his best not to cry. He had just stared at Kurt in disbelief, with a look of shock on his face that had shifted into a pissed off look, before he had stood up, said “_I’ll never forgive you for this_,” and walked away. Kurt knew how much that had destroyed Blaine, and wished he could take it back. Both times the reason for that look had been him. He had been the cause.

After the awards show, after watching the way they seemed to act around each other, Kurt had wondered if something was wrong with them. Most people probably didn’t notice anything off, but Kurt had spent three almost four years just looking at Blaine’s face, learning his every mood, every expression. Looking now at Blaine and seeing that pissed off look, he knows that it isn’t all sadness that makes him keep his head down, he is pissed off, and angry as hell.

He sat there for 30 minutes contemplating calling him, Rachel had said that Blaine had mentioned his number was the same, Kurt knew he could call him, but he didn’t want to bother Blaine when he was going through so much, Kurt wanted to give him a little time to deal with everything, but he also wanted to reach out to Blaine and let him know he is thinking about him. He had another idea.

Kurt stood up, with tears streaming down his face. He picked up his phone and called Isabelle to let her know he wouldn’t be working today, explaining to her why. He took a shower, dressed, and fixed his hair; He went into the office he had made out of Rachel’s old room when she had left for California, and he turned on his camera. After Kurt had seen Blaine’s YouTube videos, he knew Blaine had found his channel. At that moment, he knew what he was going to do. He knew the best way to reach Blaine.

“I am sending this out to my best friend, he suffered a devastating loss recently, and I want him to know I am thinking about him, and he is in my thoughts as he deals with everything going on around him. I am here if you need me, forever and always, your Nemo.”

He carries his camera, still running into the living room, and sits down on the bench of the piano Blaine had bought him. He had surprised him with a thank you gift when he and Sam had come for his audition for NYADA. He was ok on the piano, Kurt knew he would never be as good as Blaine, but he could handle this.

He starts singing the song that Rachel and Sam had sung that night at the party, knowing the words fit his thoughts so well.

_If you’re lost, you can look_   
_and you will find me_   
_Time after time_   
_If you fall I will catch you_   
_I will be waiting_   
_Time after time_   
_If you’re lost, you can look_   
_and you will find me_   
_Time after time_   
_if you fall I will catch you_   
_I will be waiting_   
_Time after time_

He feels the tears as they start slowly running down his face, thinking back to the times they had sat around this piano, having so much fun, spending time together, and Kurt once again wishes it could happen again now. What he would give to make that possible.

_Flashback, warm nights_   
_almost left behind_   
_Suitcase full of memories_   
_Time after time_

Kurt finishes up the song and then looks into the camera one more time. “You are in my heart now and always. I am sending you a big hug, and I am here if you need me, I love you.” He cuts off the camera and walks back into the office, hooks it up to his laptop and starts editing the video he had just created and then started the upload. It showed it would take about 10 minutes.

Once it was edited, he posts it to his channel, and now it is up to Blaine. He walked into his bedroom and pulled a box out of the closet. A box that he had always kept private, no one but him had ever seen what was inside. He opens the lid and pulls out his crown from prom, and his scepter, remembering how he had felt that night, it had almost destroyed him, he had thought everything was so much better, and then that.

Blaine had been so perfect, he had followed him out running to catch up with him, not ashamed to be with him. Blaine had always seemed proud of him. When Dave had said he couldn’t dance with him, Blaine had stepped up, held out his hand and asked for the honor of that dance. Kurt had known just what that meant, knew just how scared Blaine must have been after everything he had gone through at the last dance he had attended, but he just couldn’t leave Kurt standing out there alone.

The next thing he pulled out was their pictures from prom that night, the official one and the one his friends had snapped right as the balloons started falling, and Blaine had him in his arms. He had even saved a few of the streamers and a balloon from that night. He had put them in a zip lock bag.

He looks through all the pictures of him and Blaine, sectional, regionals and when they had won nationals, and then them standing side by side heads pressed together with Kurt in his cap and gown. Looking at that picture, noticing for the first time, a small tear running down Blaine’s face. Kurt remembers how scared Blaine had been of him leaving, thinking it would somehow break them up, that Kurt would give up.

Kurt had thought at the time that Blaine was overreacting. The thought of Kurt saying goodbye had been stupid in Kurt’s eyes. Blaine was being overdramatic until Blaine’s worst fear had come true. Kurt had gotten busy, gotten so involved in his new life that he forgot about his old one and the love he had left behind. Kurt had lost sight of what was really important.

At the very bottom of the box, was what he had been really looking for. Before Kurt left for New York, Blaine had created a scrapbook for him of their times together. Blaine had saved every ticket stub from every movie they had gone to. A receipt from every restaurant they had eaten at, memory after memory of them, their love, their life together.

Kurt thinks back to one of the videos Blaine had posted, wondering just how hurt he must have been even to post it, hearing the words circling around his head.

_Say something. I’m giving up on you_   
_I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you_   
_Anywhere, I would’ve followed you_   
_Say something. I’m giving up on you_

And in that instant, looking at the scrapbook at every piece of _them _Blaine had saved it hits him harder than he could have ever realized, Blaine would have followed him anywhere, done anything for him, Blaine had once told Kurt that he was his person, the one person he had been meant to find, to be with. He would never give up on him, on them, but Kurt had pushed him away one too many times, and he had finally given up. “_Say something, I’m giving up on you,” _Kurt lays down on his bed, curls into a ball and cries his eyes out.

After he was cried out, he dries his tears and stands up, puts everything back in the box, puts the lid back on, and puts it back into his closet. He goes over to his dresser and opens the top drawer and pulls out first his promise ring, opening up the top of the box he had always kept it in so it wouldn’t get damaged. Looking at the bow tie ring made of juicy fruit gum wrappers, he smiles, remembering when Blaine had given it to him and the promises he had made that day, promises he had always kept.

It hits Kurt that that was something else Blaine had kept. Blaine didn’t like juicy fruit gum and never chewed it, Kurt always had. He had saved the wrappers from Kurt’s gum until he had enough to make that ring. One other thing he had done to show Kurt just how much he meant to him, Kurt cries again.

He pulls out his engagement ring and slips it back on. Remembering how Blaine had worked so hard to make that day perfect for him. The kiss they had shared on their spot on the Dalton steps, rose petals slowly falling down around them, had been magical. When Blaine had slipped the ring on his finger, he had kissed it, almost sealing it on his finger.

Kurt takes the ring back off, puts it back in its box, and then puts both rings back in his drawer and slides it closed. He stretches his arms over his head and then heads to the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee, adding a splash of cream and cinnamon into it the way Blaine had always drunk his, Kurt sat down and just let his mind drift.

When he hears his phone ring, he waits for a minute before standing up, not really wanting to talk to anyone right now still feeling so emotionally raw, and figuring it was only Rachel anyway. Still, he finally stands up and heads to his bedroom where he had left his phone, he walks over and grabs it and can do nothing but stare at the display and the name showing on it.

“Hello” Kurt almost whispered

“Kurt, its Blaine. Can we talk?…..”

A/N:

Songs in this book are time after time - by Cindy Lauper, I’m Already There- by Lonestar and Say Something I’m giving up on you my- By Great Big World and Christina Agulara.

Thanks for all the reviews I have gotten, they help more than you know.


	12. The Call

A/N:

Thank you for the reviews on my story. They mean a lot and help me as well. I hope you enjoy this chapter. It is a little longer than normal

oOoOo

Blaine was sitting in the plane on the runway just waiting for it to take off, he was ready to get his girl. He had missed her. Blaine knows that she has only been part of his life for four months, but he feels like he has always had her. He pulls out his phone when he gets a text alert. Looking down at it, he realizes it is an alert from YouTube, letting him know that Kurt had posted an update to his channel.

When he had first been sent the link on what would have been their 4th anniversary, at first, he had watched it, cried, and then got upset. After everything settled down, and he was spending more and more time alone in his apartment with just the baby, he had gotten to where he pulled up Kurt’s page a lot. Watching every video available, he had even gone so far as to register under a different email account, so Kurt wouldn’t know he was a follower.

He had been watching Kurt’s channel off and on since the first video posted. It was Blaine’s way of staying connected to the person who had always been his best friend, and no matter what had been said or done, he always would be.

He watched the newest video Kurt had uploaded, listening to the words he said, that meant so much to Blaine. He then smiled _Kurt’s_ smile when he watched him walk into the living room and sit down at the piano he had bought for him. Blaine had wanted to say thank you for letting him and Sam stay with him at the apartment when they came to visit colleges his senior year.

They hadn’t been back together long, and Blaine had been trying not to push things, but during that visit, things had seemed to fall back into place, things seemed perfect between them again. Blaine really misses the times they had spent around that piano singing, just being Kurt and Blaine. He had wondered what had happened to it after the break-up. Blaine always figured Kurt would have gotten rid of it. It was nice to see that he had kept some things from the past they had shared together.

When the video ended, and before the pilot asked for cellphones to be put in airplane mode, Blaine dialed a number that had been burnt into his memory since his sophomore year. The year his whole life changed.

“Hello,” Blaine heard that sweet voice he had so been dying to hear, and couldn't stop the small smile that crossed his face.

“Kurt, its Blaine, can we talk?” he said softly, not really knowing what to expect. Would Kurt be willing to talk to him, or would he push him away? He was hopeful but didn’t want to take anything for granted anymore.

“Yes, I would love that,” he heard Kurt say and couldn’t help but smile a little bigger.

“Ok, I’m on my way to Westerville. I need to talk to Dad about a few things going on, and I need to pick up my daughter. Will you be home tomorrow? I know it is Friday, and you normally have to work….”

“No, I’ll be here, come by whenever you want,” Kurt said, jumping up while still talking to Blaine and started cleaning up the apartment, not that it was dirty, but if Blaine was going to be there possibly with the baby he wanted to clean things up. He also decided he needed to go to the store to pick up a few things.

“Ok, will 10 in the morning be ok, maybe we can get some coffee and talk?” Blaine asked a little hesitantly. He had a lot he wanted to talk to Kurt about, a lot he wanted to work out with him. After everything that had happened, Blaine knew in his heart he couldn’t continue to live in a world that didn’t include _his_ Kurt in one way or the other. If he had learned anything in the last week, it was that he had to hold the people he loved close to him. And Kurt was the one person beside Sere that he loved the most.

“That will be perfect. I’ll see you then,” Kurt said with a big smile on his face. He had missed Blaine so much since the last time he had seen him. He missed his friend and hoped they could work on getting at least that back again, even though he still wanted more, he wanted _his_ Blaine back.

“Ok, I’ll see you then. Kurt, thanks for the video, by the way, that meant a lot. I’ll see you tomorrow, and Kurt… I love you,” Blaine said right before he disconnected the call and then put his phone back in his pocket as the pilot announces they were set for takeoff.

Blaine silently lays his head back on the headrest with a soft sigh, closing his eyes, still in shock over everything he had read in Bryce’s journal, and wondering if this was going to have more of an impact on his life than he ever thought possible.

When the plane landed in Westerville, Blaine pulled his carry-on bag down, slung the strap over his shoulder, and walked towards the door. Since he was in first class this time, he was one of the first people to disembark from the plane. He slowly made his way to the airport doors, just ready to get out of there. Blaine kept his head down the whole time he walked, trying not to draw attention to himself. He might as well have not even tried. As he walked through the security area, he started seeing cameras flashing and paparazzi in his face asking questions.

He just kept saying no comment keeping his head down and not looking at anyone. He finally made it out the door to a cab and was soon on his way home. When he pulled up in the driveway, his mom came walking out carrying Sere.

Blaine quickly paid the driver, grabbed his bag, and then ran up to his mom, pulling Sere to him. He just held her tight, nose snuggled into her sweet little neck, and then broke down. Luckily his dad had followed his mom out and managed to catch him before he slid down to the ground. Pam quickly grabbed the baby back, and Michael helped Blaine into the house and sat him down, watching as he cried, his whole body shaking. They could do nothing but stand there and watch their son fall apart, thinking he was crying because he had just lost Bryce, but Blaine was crying because he was afraid he was going to lose something so much more important. He was afraid he was going to lose Sere.

He looked at his dad, still crying. “I think I’m in trouble, dad. I think I am really in trouble,” Blaine said, standing up, walking over to his mom and taking the baby back, needing to hold her.

“Son, what do you mean you think you might be in trouble?” Michael asked looking at Blaine with concern

“Have a seat. I have a lot I need to talk to you about, both of you.” Blaine said before taking a deep breath and then looking at his parents, not believing he is going to have to tell them one of the most unbelievable stories he had ever had to tell them in his life.

“Blaine, what’s going on? You’re scaring me,” his mom said, looking at him before they both sat down.

He continued to walk slowly, rocking the baby. “When I got to Morocco, they took me to identify and claim the body, which I expected, they had already told me I would be required to do that. I then went to the US embassy and worked with them to get Bryce’s body home, once again nothing I wasn’t expecting.

“When I left there, I was taken to the site where Bryce had been filming. The first thing that happened was their lawyer first apologized for my loss and then started passing me papers he wanted me to sign. He kept talking about waivers of liability.”

“You didn’t sign anything, did you son?” Michel looked at him appalled that another lawyer would pull something like that, trying to make Blaine sign something when his mind wouldn’t have been clear.

“No, I think I made him a little mad because I told him to send anything that needs my signature to you to review. He finally had one of the production assistants take me to Bryce’s trailer so that I could pack up any of his personal items. Bryce had this small duffel bag he always carried on set with him, so I figured I could just pack anything in there. When I opened it, I found this,” Blaine said, walking over to where he had dropped his suitcase, opened it, and pulled out Bryce’s journal.

“This is the journal Bryce always wrote in. I remember him having it and writing in it when we were still on the set of Always, and also when we were still in London while we were waiting to get Sere’s passport. I thought that it would be something to put up and give to her when she was older, so she could read it and know a little bit about her papa.”

“I read it, and it was really sweet in the beginning, talking about how we had first met, when his feelings for me had started changing, and when he realized he wanted to be with me. We had started having some problems before the accident, things that I don’t want to discuss, but reading what he had written started making me feel better, feel better about him, how he felt about me and our relationship.”

“His words started to take away some of the anger I had been feeling, after a few of our disagreements. That is until I got close to the end of his writing, and this is where I think I might be in trouble.” He said looking at his dad

“He wrote, “I asked my dad if it was bigamy if I married Blaine since I was still technically married to Jennifer.”

“What?” Michael yelled, standing up, and in the process scaring Sere, who had almost gone to sleep, she started crying. “Sorry, but what?” he said this time a little quieter.

“It would seem that when Bryce was 16 he was dating this girl Jennifer, she had apparently gotten pregnant, and their parents signed for them to get married. She ended up losing the baby, and they broke up. His dad had said that since I was a man and Jennifer was a girl, then that rule pretty much didn’t apply. He could legally marry me”.

“Apparently, Bryce never got the marriage annulled and never divorced her, which means my marriage to him was never legal. Dad, can they take Sere away from me?” Blaine asks staring at his dad hoping against hope he’d say no

“You adopted her legally, Blaine, Bryce signed giving his permission, and it went to court and was approved. I don’t see how they could. Do they know that you know?” Michael asked, looking at Blaine in shock. He hadn’t known Bryce long but had liked him, and he had thought he would be good for Blaine

“Yeah, they do. I sort of blew up at the Mitchells before coming here. I went to their house. Bryce had been sending them a check for $9000 a month since he turned 18 and took over his own finances. I pretty much told them that they would not be getting another penny, everything that Bryce had, had been willed to me and that I would be putting it in a trust for Sere and also told them they would never be seeing her again.”

“Oh son, I wish you hadn’t done that. I need to get with Bryce’s lawyer and see how his will was written, and look over the adoption papers. When is the funeral? Michael asked

“I don’t know and really don’t care. I told them that I wasn’t going to be there, they could do whatever they wanted to, I would pay for it, but everything else was up to them,” Blaine said looking at his dad.

“We have to be there son, as a family. It will look bad if we aren’t. Pam, if you don’t mind, can you call Bryce’s mom and see when the funeral is? Play it off, say something like Blaine had been in shock, and grieving so badly when he said what he did, and he didn’t mean it, he had just been hurting at the time.”

“We need to see how they are going to act. See if they plan on fighting for Sere or not, and maybe call Cooper and ask him to be there,” Michael said, then looking at Blaine, “I’m assuming that he doesn’t know anything about this yet correct?”

“No, I haven’t told anyone but you, well, and Bryce’s parents,” Blaine said wishing he would have just not gone to see his parents, but Blaine had just been so mad that they had known that Bryce was still married and let their sham of a marriage happen, without at least trying to stop it.

“Ok, we’ll go as a family, even Sere. That way, we can get a feel of the situation,” Micheal said, watching Blaine as he walked back and forth, holding the baby close to him, seeing unmistakable tears rolling down his cheeks, his steps getting slower and slower. Micheal knows it has been a rough couple of days for Blaine, wishing he could do something to help him, to somehow make this better for him, hating watching his son hurt.

“Listen, son, why don’t you and Sere go ahead and go to bed, you look like you are about to fall out any minute, and we can talk some more in the morning ok?” Michael said softly, wishing he knew what to say to ease Blaine’s pain.

“Sounds good,” Blaine said in a tired voice “Let me give Sere her bath and then put her to bed. I think I’ll take you up on that,” Blaine answered so softly, his parents knew he was physically and emotionally drained, and he looked like it wouldn’t take much to knock him down.

“Why don’t you let me give her a bath, and you go ahead and go lie down” his mom offered

“Thanks mom, but I just want to do it. I need to be with her right now. Goodnight,” Blaine said, kissing Pam on the cheek so thankful for everything she had done, and then he slowly walked out of the room, grabbing his suitcase as he passed it, heading towards the stairs, missing the look that passed between his parents.

He took his time, giving Sere a warm bath, washing her little hair. He dressed her in his favorite pair of her pajamas. They were soft and looked to him like they would be really comfortable. When he walked out of the bathroom and into his bedroom, that’s when he noticed the crib his parents had set up for her, and the rocking chair that had been placed in the corner. Blaine went over to it, sat down, and slowing started rocking her, singing to Sere as tears slowly slipped down his face.

Tears for the papa she would never be able to know, but glad in a way that she wouldn't because she would never have to know how Bryce had really felt about her. Tears for the relationship he had wasted time on, thinking he was building a future, only to find out there never could have been one, and tears for his past, for the boy he still loved those being the hardest tears of all.

When he sees that Sere is asleep, Blaine slowly stands up and walks over to the crib. He softly kisses her on her head before gently laying her in her crib. He stands there just staring at her, so afraid now that he was going to lose her, that somehow Bryce’s family would be able to take her away from him.

He slowly makes his way over to his bed, pulls back the covers, and then crawls in between the sheets. Blaine reaches for the extra pillow and pulls it to his chest and buries his face in it, crying, hoping the pillow will muffle the sound so his parents wouldn’t hear. He was more afraid than he had ever been in his life because this time, he had so much more to lose.

Sere woke him up at three crying. Blaine crawls out of bed and walks over to the crib and picks her up, he softly patted her back and walked with her to the kitchen. Before everything had happened with Bryce, she had gotten to where she was finally almost sleeping through the night. He warms her up a bottle, gently swinging her back and forth as he feeds her, just staring down at her sweet little face.

When she finishes her bottle, he carries her back to his room and changes her diaper. He picks her up off of the changing table and rocks her for a few more minutes until she falls back to sleep, and then carries her over to his bed, placing her in the middle, not wanting to be away from her, just wanting her close. He slowly drifts back to sleep with his hand lying gently on Sere’s stomach, wanting to feel her if she moves.

She wakes him up again at four and then five, and he just gets up after that. He doesn’t know what was wrong with her. She was dry, and it was too soon for another bottle, but when he picked her up and snuggled with her, she stopped crying and was fine. He guesses she feels his stress, and it’s affecting her as well, and she just needed a little extra attention. Not that he minded that at all because he needed it too. He does give up on going back to sleep, though. He stands up and carries her into the living room with him, sitting down with her in one of the recliners. He softly starts singing the song he had written for her not long after the adoption was finalized, and she had officially become his daughter.

Staring down into the eyes he so loves, feeling his heart swell even more, he wonders how he had ever existed before this beautiful baby girl entered his world, and now Blaine also worries how he could ever exist if he lost her. He slowly leaned the chair back and just holds her lying on his chest, listening to her soft little breaths, and soon they are both drifting off to sleep again.

The next thing that woke him up was the smell of coffee and knows his mom is up. He slowly stands up, trying not to wake up Sere, and then he walks into the kitchen and sits down at the bar across from his mom. She stands up and grabs him a cup of coffee, fixing it the way he likes it, with a little cream and a dash of cinnamon. She had made it like that for him along time ago, and he had liked it so much he had continued to drink it that way.

“Where’s dad?” Blaine whispers, trying not to wake Sere, who was still asleep on his shoulder. He wanted to let her sleep as long as possible since she had had a bad night.

“He’s getting dressed and will be down in a minute, he’s going to get with Bryce’s lawyer this morning and make sure everything is in order,” she said looking at him knowing just how worried he was.

“I can’t lose her mom, I can’t,” Blaine said for the first time voicing his fears.

“You aren’t going to lose her son,” Michael said, coming in the door.

“With our marriage not being legal, they can say that I have no rights to her even though I adopted her,” Blaine said looking at his dad “What if they say that because she is Bryce’s biological child, and they are Bryce’s parents they should get her? I know they don’t want her for her. They will only want her because of the trust fund she inherited from her mom. Whoever is her guardian gets access to that money. I know she means nothing to them,” Blaine continued, hating the fact that someone could want this special little girl for the money her mom left her.

Bryce’s money was supposed to go to Blaine, per the will he had signed. Blaine honestly could care less about it, he didn’t need the money, and it would just be put in a trust for Sere anyway. Still, his dad was going to look at the wording of the will, if it said just to Blaine Anderson, then it would pass to him, but if it said to his husband, Bryce’s family could fight that, since legally he never was, their marriage had never been legal.

No matter how that part ended up, however, Shey’s money would go straight to Sere. She wasn’t even a year old yet, and she was already a trust fund baby.

“Son, don’t forget that I have as much right to Sere as they do. I was Shey’s father, I have just as much of a blood connection to her as they do, and I can’t think of any better person than you to raise my granddaughter. If they want to fight this, then we will fight it in court. I just really hope it doesn’t have to come that far,” Michael said, walking over to Pam and kissing her on her cheek. He knows talking about Shey hurts her because it reminds her of the time they were broken up, and the fact that Michael had temporarily found someone new.

Blaine looked at his watch and saw that it was almost seven and stood up, taking his coffee cup over to the sink. “I’m going to go and talk to a friend of mine for a while this morning. I have some things I need to talk out. Dad, can you call me when you find out anything?” Blaine asked, knowing he wouldn’t be able to stop worrying about this until everything was finally settled.

“Son, I will call you as soon as I find out anything I promise,” Michael said, walking over to Blaine and hugging him.

“Do you want me to keep Sere for you?” Pam asked. She had really enjoyed watching that little girl while Blaine had been out of the country. She had always wanted a daughter, but after the break up with Michael, when Blaine was still young, she decided she didn’t want to have anymore children, so, with Sere, Pam finally had a little girl, a precious granddaughter that she had fallen in love with the first time she had seen her.

“No, I think I want her with me, but thanks. If you don’t mind, though, can you watch her for a few minutes while I take a shower? She’s probably going to want a bottle soon. I fed her around three and changed her diaper. I’ll dress her when I get out of the shower,” Blaine said. He knew his mom wouldn’t have a problem with it but wanted to ask anyway. He gently moved the sleeping little girl from his shoulder to his moms, placing a soft kiss on her little cheek, man how he loved that little girl.

Blaine walked into his bathroom and shaved before stepping in the shower. When he got out, he dried off and got dressed, taking care with how he looked. While his hair was still damp, Blaine added a little of the hair product he had been shown by the makeup artist when he had first started working on Always. Blaine wished he could have found it or something like it when he was still in school. He had always hated the heavy feeling of the gel he used but hated the way his hair would frizz without it more.

He had really liked his hair at one time. Before the kids at his old school Carson had made fun of it and him. From that day on, Blaine had slicked it down to control it that was, until he had gone with Kurt to his senior prom, and Brittany had banned hair gel of all things. Blaine He had felt self-conscious about his hair the minute he walked back into the room, seeing as everyone stared at him. That had been bad enough, but then Brittany had looked at him and said he looked like Mr. Broccoli head. Instead of Kurt making some kind of comment like he liked it like that, the way Blaine would have done if the situation was reversed, Kurt had just said that it didn’t look _THAT_ bad. Thinking back now, Blaine doesn’t know which comment had hurt him the most, being told he looked like Mr. Broccoli head or for his boyfriend to say he didn’t look _that _bad.

The only other time Blaine had tried to go without gel, was when he was subbing at Dalton, right after the last break up. He had been super depressed, and his therapist had told him to try to change things up, almost reinvent himself from the person he had been with Kurt. So he did, he didn’t gel his hair, and didn’t put on a bowtie. That had lasted one day. When he had walked into Dalton, the first thing he heard was one of the students yell terrorist. From that day on, he had worn hair gel until that incredible makeup artist on Always had given him the new stuff he now uses. He never did, however, put on another bowtie.

Blaine went over to the changing table his parents had set up for Sere and packed her several diapers and a few changes of clothes, he never really knew what she might need, so he generally packed more than necessary, but he would rather have too much than not enough.

He went back into the kitchen and grabbed a few bottles, and some formula added that to the diaper bag and was ready to go. Now he just needed to find his mom and daughter, he thought with a smile. He was so glad his parents had accepted Sere as theirs. It meant a lot to Blaine that they already loved her. Blaine looked up when his mom walked back into the kitchen.

“Ok, I changed her, feed her, and she should be good to go for a little while anyway,” Pam said, kissing Sere on the cheek before walking up to Blaine and passing the baby to him. “I put her car seat and the stroller base in your car. I figured it would be easier to drive to the airport than trying to get a cab. I’ll call you when I get ahold of Bryce’s mom and let you know what I find out,” Pam said before pulling Blaine and Sere into a hug. “I love you Blaine,” she said, pulling away.

“I love you to mom, and thank you for everything,” Blaine said, looking at her hugging her tight for a few minutes before walking out the door with Sere and strapping her into her car seat. Blaine got in and drove to the airport and got the next flight to New York, feeling more nervous the closer they got Blaine didn’t really know why. Kurt had been his friend for over four years. He had never felt nervous around him, except for the time he had finally figured out how he felt about Kurt.

Blaine had known when he was watching Kurt sing Blackbird that he wanted him in his life. He remembers he had spent the whole day figuring out what he wanted to say, and just hoping Kurt hadn’t changed his mind about how he felt. Blaine had been on edge all day, trying to find the perfect place and time. But when he had walked into the lunchroom at Dalton and saw Kurt sitting there, Blaine knew in his heart that nothing in his life could have ever been more perfect. He went in and sat down and was finally able to say how he felt, how important Kurt was to him. That had been the start of _them_. In that room, they had shared their very first kiss. That had been the last time Blaine had been nervous about being around Kurt, until now.

oOoOo

When they land, Blaine grabs Sere, who was still in her car seat, her diaper bag, and the base of her stroller that the car seat snapped into and started walking down the ramp going from the plane to the airport itself. He slowly walked out of the security area and could breathe a little easier when he realized there was no paparazzi, they hadn’t found out he was in New York yet, and he was glad, he really hated them being around the baby.

Blaine slips on a pair of dark sunglasses, missing the yellow and pink ones he used to wear when he was still in school and makes his way to the door leading out of the airport. Blaine was surprised when he was able to get a cab right away. He had expected to have a small wait. He gave the driver the address to Kurt’s loft in Bushwick and then laid his head on the back of the seat, breathing deeply, trying to calm his nerves.

When they get to the apartment, he steps out of the cab, pays the driver and grabs Sere snapping the car seat into the stroller base, grabs her diaper bag and walks inside, it had been so long since he had been here, but nothing really looked like it had changed. Blaine walks over to the freight elevator and hits the button for the top floor where Kurt’s apartment was. When he steps off the elevator, he turns left and walks towards Kurt’s door, feeling even more nervous than before, why he doesn’t know because this was just Kurt, _his_ Kurt. He stands outside the door for a minute, feeling weird, knocking on the door of the apartment that he had once called home.

He looked at his watch. It was right at ten. Blaine slowly raises his hand and knocks on the door. Within minutes it was sliding open, and there he was, the person Blaine had lived for, for so long, the person who had been the center of his universe. The person he had dreamed so many dreams about, and without a doubt, the person he still loved.

With tears running down his face, he stepped forward and hugged his best friend for the first time in almost a year. “God, I have missed you,” he whispers in Kurt’s ear, pulling him even closer.

“I’ve missed you too,” Kurt said softly, pulling back enough so he could look at Blaine “I missed you too” they just stood there staring at each other until Sere started fussing in her seat. Blaine pulls slowly away from Kurt, bends down and picks her up. Blaine gently placed her on his shoulder, patting her softly on the back, saying soothing words until she finally settled back down.

“I’m sorry, come in,” Kurt said, standing back and letting Blaine walk in, pushing the stroller in front of him. They went over and sat down on the couch, turning so they could face each other. Blaine still couldn’t believe that he was there, in front of Kurt again, close enough to touch for the first time in almost a year. Blaine takes a deep breath and just looks into Kurt’s beautiful eyes, the eyes he had spent years happily staring into.

“Kurt, I would like you to meet my daughter, Serene,” Blaine said, pulling the baby away from his shoulder, turning her around so that Kurt was able to see her for the first time.

Blaine watched as Kurt’s mouth dropped open, looking at the baby. Watching as Kurt notice right away how very much she looked like Blaine. “I don’t understand, ” he whispered, looking from Blaine to the baby and back. There was no way that baby could be Blaine’s, unless before they had broken up, Blaine had cheated on him again, and this time with a woman.

Blaine just sits there, watching as Kurt tried to figure out what he was seeing, watching as the thoughts rolled around in his head, and then Kurt was standing up and walking a little away. Blaine knew what he was thinking. As if he could have ever been with anyone other than Kurt. He had learned the hard way what cheating caused, it had lost him Kurt, and that was a mistake he would never have made again, never. If Kurt hadn’t broken up with him, he would have never slept with anyone else again, Kurt had always been it for him.

“Please come back and sit down. I know what you’re thinking. Please let me explain,” Blaine said, looking at Kurt, watching his face, knowing he was struggling with his thoughts, and wanting to know the truth. Kurt finally walked back over and sat down, but this time he kept his distance. Not wanting to sit close to Blaine, but willing to at least listen and try to give Blaine the benefit of the doubt, until he was given a reason not to.

“I know what you’re thinking, Kurt. Nothing could be further from the truth. Sere is my daughter, yes, but for all intents and purposes, she is actually my niece.” Blaine started to explain further but was cut off.

“Ok, if Cooper had a kid, why isn’t he the one raising her? And why is everyone saying she is Bryce’s for?” Kurt asked, so confused.

“She is my niece, but not through Cooper, and she _is_ Bryce’s biological daughter,” Blaine continued seeing the confusion on Kurt’s face. “Listen a minute, and I'll explain. I am going to tell you something that only three other people know about, Mom, Dad, and Cooper, ok?” he looked at Kurt and watched as he nodded his head.

“When I was a month old, my parents started having problems, it had been going on before I was born, but when they found out about me, they tried to work on their marriage. When they started arguing more and more, they both made the decision that they didn’t want to raise Cooper and I that way. They didn’t want us to be brought up in a home with constant fighting, so they decided to separate. While they were separated Dad apparently started dating someone else, and she became pregnant. Dad didn’t know, and by the time he found out, he was back with my mom.”

“When he found out about the baby, he started sending child support to her mom and was part of her life. Mom knew all about it. I had a sister named Shey Alexander. When she was a year old, her mom died, and she was passed off to a grandmother. When dad found out Shey’s mom died, he talked to mom about adopting her. By the time they had everything together, Shey had been moved, and dad never saw her again. It would seem when he was 17, Bryce met Shey, and they fell in love.”

“They had had a lot of conversations about how he really didn’t ever want kids, so when she got pregnant, she broke up with him and moved to London without ever telling him she was pregnant. He had no idea Sere even existed. I’m sorry Kurt, but I need to tell you a little bit about Bryce and my relationship. I won’t say more than I need to,” Blaine said looking at Kurt, hoping not to hurt him, because Blaine knows how he would feel if the roles were reversed and it was Kurt sitting in front of him with a child and a husband.

“That’s ok, Blaine. I understand you were in a relationship with him, that you married him. I’m ok with listening to it. I want us to be friends again like we used to be. We used to be able to talk about anything without it getting weird. I want us to be able to do that again,” Kurt said, even though inside he knew he really didn’t want to hear about _his_ Blaine being with anyone else

Blaine looked at him for a few minutes, and then a soft smile crossed his face “I would really like that. I have so missed you in my life. I have missed being able just to pick up the phone and talk to you. We have always been able to do that, but I am still not going to go into more than I need to.”

“Bryce and I had been dating for about a month when he got a call informing him that Shay had been in a car accident and was in the hospital in critical condition. He was still listed as her emergency contact and was told that if he wanted to see her again, he needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible. I helped him pack his clothes and got us both a ticket to London. When we got to the hospital, we found out that she had died thirty minutes before we got there. Bryce fell apart, and I just held him, trying to comfort him, in the back of my mind thinking about how I would have felt in the same situation if it had been you.”

“We had been there about 5 minutes when another nurse walked in, carrying a 3-month-old baby girl. Even though Shey had never told Bryce about Sere, she had listed him as Sere’s father on her birth certificate.”

“When I looked into that baby's face for the first time, I fell in love with her. We both noticed how she looked like a combination of the two of us. I could have been her dad as much as Bryce was. How we didn’t know, but to be honest, I didn’t care I wanted that baby, in my heart she was mine and I loved her instantly. I found out from dad later about Shey being his daughter, how mom knew all about it, and how they had lost track of her”

“You know how I can get sometimes. I tend to jump into situations without really taking the time to think them through first. After we left the hospital with Sere, I started thinking about things. I wanted her. I wanted to adopt her, so I asked Bryce to marry me. Looking back on it now, I know I should have waited, done things differently, but I just wanted her to be mine officially.”

“I had started caring about Bryce. I didn’t love him and knew I never would be able to, but I still asked him to marry me. We could be a family, we could raise Sere together, he agreed, and we were married before we left London. We had to wait there for two weeks before we could get Sere’s passport. Luckily she had dual citizenship, which made the process so much quicker. After we got her passport, we came home, and I legally adopted her.”

Blaine notice that Sere had fallen back asleep, so he slowly stood up and put her in her car seat so he could be free to move. He had just sat down when his phone started to ring. “Shit, ” he said and quickly grabbed his phone out of his pocket, answering it as quietly as he could so he didn’t wake Sere up. He looks at Kurt and mouths, sorry, and listened for a few minutes without saying anything.

“Ok, when is it set for?”

“To be honest, I don’t really care I don’t want to go to the stupid funeral anyway.”

“I know, mom. I know what dad said about us needing to be there a family.”

“Ok, I understand, I just don’t feel like acting like the grieving husband around all the paparazzi that you know are going to be there.”

“Ok mom, I understand,” Blaine says with a sigh.

“Do I need to dress Sere in black, or do you think that will even really matter?”

“Ok, listen when I’m done here, I’ll go ahead and fly home to California. You and dad can just meet Sere and me at the apartment, the two of you can sleep in mine and Bryce’s room, I’ll sleep on the pull out bed in the living room.”

“No mom, trust me, I never plan on sleeping in that bed again.”

“Oh, and before you head that way, can someone pick up my car and take it back to your house.”

“Ok, thanks, the ticket is on the dash.”

“No mom, I don’t really know what to do with all his shit right now, if I liked his parents any better than I do, I would dump it all on their front lawn… or maybe because I **_don’t_** like them then I should do that anyway.”

“No, that was a joke, mom, I promise. I seriously don’t know what to do with all of it. I’ll figure something out, and I still need to go back to London and clean out Shey’s old apartment. Bryce had been paying the mortgage on her place until he could figure out what he wanted to do with it all.”

“I know, I know, I’ll probably go and just get pictures and stuff out and sell the rest. I know none of Sere’s clothes that we didn’t bring with us will fit her anymore.”

“Ok, ask dad if there is anything he thinks he might want of hers. I’ll probably try to go next week to clean it out and then do something about my apartment later. I know mom, I know. I’ll see you later tonight.”

“Love you too,” Blaine said and then hung up the phone, laying his head on the back of the couch and rubbing his eyes. So ready for this farce to be over with so he can just move on with his life.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he heard Kurt ask softly. Blaine turned his head and looked at Kurt, noticing the shocked look on his face. Blaine knew that Kurt would have questions about his half of the conversation he had just overheard, and that meant Blaine had more explaining to do. Shit…

“I’m sorry, Kurt. I really am. I never planned on telling you that much about my relationship with my _husband,_” Blaine said, but the way he said the word _husband_ almost like he hated that word left Kurt with little doubt that there had been trouble in paradise.

“When Bryce and I were dating, we were great. We had a lot of the same interests, the same likes, and dislikes. After we got married, things changed, well he changed. Everything seemed to be ok for the first month. We both agreed that if one of us had a project that would take us away from home, the other would just work locally, do commercials and things like that. We wanted to make sure that one of us was always home with Sere. That worked out fine, but Bryce kept getting more and more jobs that took him away from home.”

“I was fine with the local work because, to be honest, I had started losing interest in the business anyway. I had been thinking about even going back to school, maybe look into the filmography or even start working on my music again. South of Always had been fun at first, but I figured out really quickly that it wasn’t something I wanted to do long term.”

“Well anyway, Bryce was gone more than he was home. He would be home for maybe 24 hours at the most and then was gone again for weeks at a time. We got to where we fought all the time when he was home. I knew something was going to have to be done. I didn’t want to raise Sere like that.”

“Things really blew up when we were both nominated in the same category for the People’s Choice Awards. Bryce thought I should decline the nomination because I was his husband, and I couldn’t believe he would ask me not to accept it for the same reason. I earned that nomination just as much as he had.”

“The night of the award show, when I got to the theater, Bryce was already there. He hadn’t waited on me. He didn’t even have the decency to let me know he was back in town. Bryce had been in the middle of shooting a movie in Nevada at the time. When I got there and saw that Bryce was already there and hadn’t said anything, I was a little pissed, so I didn’t go up to him. If he could be there by himself, so could I. One of the male reporters decided to flirt with me, and that flew all over Bryce. He quickly found his way to my side. Then, on top of that, I won the award he felt he should have been his. I thanked everyone but him. I just didn’t feel in the mood to thank him, and then when I won the second award, I once again didn’t mention his name. I was so pissed at him at that point I just couldn’t bring myself to care.”

“We had had an argument right after we started seeing each other because I was a jerk and took something out on him that I shouldn’t have. I promised him that day I would never raise my voice to him in anger again, that night was the first night I almost did.”

“He kept making comments about how I just _let_ that reporter flirt with me. I told him that if my _husband_ had been by my side like he should have been it probably wouldn’t have happened, that made him madder he kept saying that I had purposely embarrassed him knowing he had to work with those people.”

“We had a major fight the day he left for this last movie in Morocco, and yes, I broke my promise because I definitely yelled at him that day. We both said some really ugly things to each other, and then he slammed out of the apartment. I went and talked to a divorce attorney that day. I was done with everything, I wanted a divorce, and I was going to file for full custody since I had always been the one to take care of Sere. Our marriage lasted just under four months,” Blaine said, looking down at his hands.

“Blaine, I am sorry. I am so sorry you had to go through that,” Kurt said, hating what had happened to Blaine

“The bad thing is Kurt, that is actually not the worst part of it,” Blaine said, looking at Kurt with a sad look on his face, and Kurt knew he wasn’t going to like the next part at all.

“I got a call in the middle of the night, letting me know that there had been an accident on set and that Bryce had been killed. I was devastated. I kept thinking about all the hateful, ugly words we had spoken to each other those where our last words, and I hated it. I remember beating myself up all the way to Morocco. I had taken Sere to Westerville for mom to watch for me, and then I had to go and identify and claim his body. After I did that and arranged for his body to be brought back to the states, I was taken to Bryce’s trailer so that I could pack up any of his personal belongings and bring them home. He had this duffel bag that he always carried with him on set. He always had it when we were on the set of Always. I decided I could just put everything in it, but when I opened it up, I also found his journal, the one he always wrote in.”

“I remembered seeing him write in it almost every day, so I opened it and started reading what he had written from around the time we met. It was sweet. I thought I would save it and let Sere read it when she got older. That is, until I got to the entry from when I asked him to marry me. It would seem he had been married when he was sixteen to an old girlfriend. She had gotten pregnant, and their parents had signed for them to get married. He asked his dad if it would still be ok to marry me since he was still technically married to her,” Blaine said.

“What” Kurt sputtered, looking as shocked as Blaine had felt when he had first read it.

“Yeah, his dad told him since she was a girl and I was a man, it wouldn’t be a problem for him to marry me. So after everything I put up with, had to deal with, I find out we were never legally married at all. So now, I have to worry about whether or not his parents are going to try to fight me for custody of my daughter since they are blood relatives and I am just her adoptive father. They just want the money Shey left for Sere, and I know it. Whoever is Sere’s guardian has control of the money,” Blaine said, shaking his head.

“I guess that explains the look,” Kurt said looking at him

“What look?” Blaine asked him, not understanding.

“When you were leaving the airport, and you were being followed, you looked like you were devastated, in shock, but also pissed off. I don't think anyone else would have noticed it, but we’ve been friends for years. I learned what your facial expressions meant.” Blaine could only smile because Kurt had known him sometimes better than he had known himself

“I guess you would have. You always knew me better than anyone else,” Blaine whispered, raising his hand to cup Kurt’s cheek, slowly rubbing his thumb up and down.

“I would hope I still do,” Kurt said, resting his face in the palm of Blaine’s hands for a moment before sitting back up. “So, what’s your next step as far as Sere is concerned?”

“I’m not really sure, to be honest. Dad seems to think we can fight it if they do try anything since technically he has as much right to Sere as they do since he was Shey’s father. I adopted her legally with Bryce's permission, and I’m also her uncle, so I should technically have more rights than they do. I just hate not knowing where I stand in this. I can’t lose her, Kurt, I just can’t. And on top of all of that, I have to go and make nice and act like I care that he’s dead. I get to go play the grieving husband for the cameras, and I have to have my daughter in the middle of that shit show,” Blaine said, sighing once again, just wishing it was already all over.

“I know I can’t be there with you tomorrow, but I can be here when you get back. Blaine, I want us to be friends again. I have really missed you. I don’t like that I can’t just pick up the phone and talk to you the way I used to, I can’t stand you not being part of my life.” Kurt said feeling as tears slid down his cheeks

“I would love that. I have missed you so much,” Blaine said, reaching out and pulling Kurt into his arms. Placing a soft kiss on Kurt’s cheek, needing to touch him in some way, even if that was all he would allow himself for now

“Kurt, can I ask you something personal?” Blaine whispered, pulling back, unable to look in Kurt’s face when a thought hit him.

“You can ask me anything. You don’t ever have to ask,” Kurt answered back.

“Were you happy with us, with me, I mean, before everything blew up between us. You were happy, right?” Blaine asked looking him in the eyes needing to hear his answer, feeling really unsure of himself

“Of course I was, why would you ask me something like that for?” Kurt asked, looking at Blaine, confused, trying to figure out where he was going with that question.

“Ok, I’m sorry if I am getting personal, but did _I_ make you happy, did I satisfy you, give you what you needed when we were together sexually?” Blaine asked not able to look at him anymore

“Blaine I don’t understand why you would ask me something like that for” Kurt was really confused now

“Please Kurt, please just answer the question. This is important,” Blaine said he hadn’t realized how much he needed to have that question answered until he asked. He needed to know.

“Did I ever do anything with you, or to you that you didn’t like. Did you feel like I pushed you” Blaine asked in a soft, sad voice, thoughts of what Bryce had written in his journal running through his head, destroying every happy memory he had shared with Kurt in the bedroom.

“Blaine, I don’t understand the question, but you _ALWAYS_ satisfied me, made me feel loved and wanted and special. Where is this coming from?” he asked softly, only then noticing the tears in Blaine’s eyes and the doubt he had on his face.

“I’m going to let you read something really personal. You will be the only person I ever let read this, and then I plan on destroying it.” Blaine said, walking up to the diaper bag and pulling out Bryce’s journal. He opened it to the page he wanted Kurt to read and then handed the book to him.

He turned his back to Kurt and walked over to the only window that he could actually see out of. He remembered that when he lived here when things between them had started falling apart, he had just stared out that window, trying to get his bearing.

When he heard Kurt’s intake of breath, he knew that Kurt had read the part he had wanted him to. “No Blaine, no, don’t believe that, please don’t believe that,” and then Kurt made him turn around and face him, pulling him in close and then was kissing him, showing Blaine just how much he had enjoyed being with him. Nothing he had ever done to him had ever disgusted him or ever could have.

Blaine slowly pulled out of Kurt’s embrace “But Kurt you pulled away too, we were engaged, and you no longer wanted to do anything with me, you would come to bed after I was asleep and would leave the bed before I woke up, I always hated that. What was I supposed to think, and now this?...”

“Oh Blaine sweety, it was never that I swear it was never that. I loved it when we were together that way. I just lost my way in my own nervousness and fear of the unknown. We were doing so good, we were enjoying being together, and I always loved it when you made love to me. You were kind and gentle and caring. You took care of me, treated me like I was the most special thing in your world.”

“It’s just that I started having all these doubts. Remember when we were closing out glee, and everyone came back. Remember what April said, how that was what the world needed, another teenage marriage, how we were going to end in divorce. That on top of my own doubts is what happened to us, not you Blaine, never you. That I can swear to you, ” Kurt said, trying to get him to understand

“I always needed you, and you always gave me what I needed and wanted. Please don’t believe this.” Kurt said, holding up the journal, never meaning anything more than he did right now

“He was confused. He realized he wasn’t what he thought he was. Trust me, as a gay man if I had sex with a girl, I would be disgusted too. Not because of the person she was but because of what she was. Look at how you felt that time you kissed Rachel sober, remember what you told me, that even though you liked her as a person and a friend kissing her made your skin crawl.”

That’s finally what connected with Blaine, remembering what he had felt when he had kissed Rachel, just how wrong it had been. He can only imagine how he would have felt if he had had sex with her. Blaine finally smiled his first real smile since everything happened. Kurt had always been able to calm his crazy and help him find his center. With just that one sentence, Blaine was finally ok.

“I know we just agreed to be friends again, but I want you to know that I want more, and if I ever get the chance to make love with you again, I will jump on the chance, and the only thing that will disgust me is when we have to stop. I love you, Blaine, forever and always, and I am still and will always be your Nemo” Kurt said the words he had said before many times, but never meant them more.

Blaine just looked at him for a few minutes and then pulled Kurt into his arms, kissing him the way he has wanted to since he first opened the door. Not ever wanting to let him go again, but knowing he needed to. He still had a funeral to go to.

He slowly pulled away a little, “I need to head home, I need to get ready for tomorrow, I so wish you could be there. When this is done, can I come back, can we spend some more time together?” Blaine asked, looking at him hopeful again, finally feeling the tension he had felt since he and Kurt had broken up, leaving his body. He was finally ready to move on and start to trust again.

“I would enjoy that,” Kurt said right as Blaine pulled him back into his arms and kissed him, Kurt finally felt like they were on the right track. Maybe there was a way that they could work their way back to each other after all.


	13. The Funeral

oOoOo

Way too soon, Blaine was telling Kurt goodbye, not even close to being ready to walk away from him “I guess I need to head out, can I call you later?” Blaine asked, pulling Kurt back into his arms and placing a soft kiss on his lips, missing him so much already.

“You better, or I’ll have to come to California and track you down,” Kurt said, trying to smile when all he wanted to do is cry.

“You can come whenever you want,” Blaine said one hundred percent serious, once again kissing him slow and gentle, not trying to deepen it, trying to remember that they were going to try to work on being friends again, and then maybe something more.

“I'll keep that in mind,” Kurt said, “I'll be thinking about you tomorrow, call me if you need to talk.”

“I will,” Blaine said, walking over the stroller and pushing Sere towards the door. “It was really good seeing you again,” Blaine said, leaning over and placing a kiss on Kurt's cheek and pulling him back into a quick hug before slowly pushing Sere out the door. When he got outside, the cab he had called was waiting for him, so before Blaine even realized it, he was back at the airport on his way home.

When Blaine walked into his apartment, the first thing he did was look around, he had lived here for four months, and at one time, he had felt happy here. It had felt like a home. Now it just felt like space. He needed to figure out where to go from here, what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. He knows he isn't interested in being an actor anymore, he was tired of dealing with the paparazzi, and he doesn't want to raise his daughter having to deal with it. He wanted a safe environment that he could raise her. He wanted a home for her, he knows right now isn't the best time to be thinking about anything, not until he is secure in what the Mitchells might decide to throw his way.

He took Sere to her room and put her in her crib. She had managed to fall asleep in the cab on the way home. He figured he could use the time she was sleeping to get some things done. On the morning he had found out about Bryce, Blaine had run out of the house in a hurry, leaving an unmade bed and a bathroom torn apart as he had quickly thrown stuff in a bag for himself and Sere and ran out the door.

Since his parents would be sleeping in his room, he went in and changed the sheets on the bed and put fresh towels in the bathroom. He grabbed up the dirty clothes that were in the hamper and ran a load of clothes, doing anything to keep busy, to keep his mind from running wild.

He looked around at all of Bryce's stuff, not even knowing where to begin on getting rid of it. He had a whole cabinet of nothing but awards. Blaine's three looked pretty pathetic next to the thirty plus Bryce had in there. Blaine had no idea what to do with those kinds of things, and then there were all his clothes. He knew he didn't want anything that was Bryce’s, and he had already decided he didn't want to save any of it for Sere. Bryce might have been her father biologically, but he wasn't the papa he had once said he wanted to be. Not after reading in that journal where he said he hated her as much as he did Blaine. Who says something like that about their own child? No, if he could help it, she would never know anything about Bryce. Blaine was going to check with his dad about having Bryce's name removed from her birth certificate if that was possible. He already planned on changing her name legally as soon as possible. The Mitchell would be dropped. She would just be Anderson.

He was looking around contemplating what he should do when he heard his doorbell, Blaine thought it was too early for his parents to be there, so he walked over to the door and looked through the peephole and saw that it was Cooper. He quickly opened the door and found himself being pulled into Cooper's arms.

“I am so sorry, Blaine. I wish I even knew where to begin,” Cooper said, looking at him. The bad thing was that he didn't know if Cooper was saying he was sorry about Bryce dying or about what he had learned after the fact.

“Have you talked to mom and dad yet?” Blaine asked, looking at him.

“No, they just told me you were here, and the funeral will be tomorrow. How are you? Are you ok?” Cooper asked. Blaine could tell he was almost in tears. Cooper had gotten close to Bryce while they were all working together on Always and even more so after Blaine and Bryce had gotten married.

“Shit, I was hoping mom and dad would have talked to you,” Blaine said. He was about to shut the door when he heard…

“No, sweetheart, we figured that it was your story to tell, as much or as little as you wanted,” Pam said, walking up and hugging him and then hugging Cooper.

“Once you tell him what you want him to know, I have some news from the lawyer,” his dad said, walking up and hugging his sons.

“How did you guys get here so soon?” Blaine asked them, he hadn't expected them for at least another hour.

“We left right after we talked to you,” Pam said, going over to the couch and sitting down.

Blaine turned around and looked at Cooper, not even knowing where to begin explaining what he had found out. “Let's go sit down. I have some stuff I need to talk to you about,” Blaine sighed as he sat down. He just wants this to all be over and done with, tired of everything already, and sincerely hoping this will be the last time he’ll ever have to tell this story again.

When Cooper had sat down, he gave him the condensed version, telling him what he had found in the journal, about being married already, what Bryce's dad had told him, keeping the really personal stuff to himself. He hadn't even shared all of it with Kurt.

“So, you are telling me that ass hat was already married?” Cooper asked, starting to look mad at this point.

“Yes,” Blaine said, nodding his head.

“That fucking son of a bitch, if he weren't already dead, I swear, I would kill his ass,” Cooper yelled, jumping up. In the process, he woke up Sere, who started crying.

“I'm sorry Blaine,” he said, looking at him, not sorry about the words he said but sorry he had woken the baby up.

“It's ok. She would have been waking up soon anyway,” Blaine said, walking toward the baby's room.

“Hey baby, did Uncle Cooper wake you up?” he said, walking up to the crib, reaching down and picking her up, kissing her on her neck, smiling when she laughed. He so loved hearing her laugh.

“Nana, Pops, and Uncle Cooper are here. Do you want to go see them?” he asked as he quickly changed her diaper and then carried her into the living room. He made it all of three steps before his mom was jumping up and grabbing her out of his arms.

“How is Nana's baby?” she asks, sitting back down and continues to talk to her.

“So, your marriage wasn't even legal?” Cooper asked when Blaine sat back down.

“No, it wasn't. Now I have to worry about whether or not the Mitchells are going to try to fight me for custody. I have to worry that they are going to take her away from me somehow,” Blaine said, feeling nervous all over again.

“Son, I’ve told you that wasn't going to happen. You’re not going to lose that baby. I got in contact with the lawyer Shey had worked with when she set up will. He said that the hospital always keeps blood samples of patients that are killed in car accidents in case there is ever litigation. He is going to have some sent to my doctor. We are going to do a DNA test to prove I was Shey's father. We will have just as much right to her as they do. I also talked to Bryce’s lawyer, as well. He said that he would be there tomorrow. Apparently, Bryce had an addendum added to his will, stipulating that it was to be read right after his funeral or memorial service. He wouldn't tell me any more than that, so I don't know how that is going to go, as to whether or not Bryce’s money will still be yours, or if it will go to the Mitchell’s,” Michael said, looking at Blaine.

“I'm not worried about the money. I can take care of Sere without it. I had planned on putting it in a trust fund for her anyway the way I did with the money she got from Shey,” Blaine said looking at him, “Is there something else we need to be worried about?” he asked looking at his dad.

“No son, there isn't, I would tell you if there was. We will find out about the will one way or the other tomorrow,” Michael said reassuringly

“Let me ask you this, after everything is settled with Sere one way or the other, how hard would it be to have her name changed again? I want to have Mitchell removed, I don’t want her to have any association with that family at all. I would also like to have Bryce’s name removed as her father. I know when I adopted her they put my name on the birth certificate, can we have his removed?” Blaine asked looking at his dad

“Son, are you sure that’s something you want to do. He was her father, after all. What if she asks questions when she gets older? How will you explain that?” His dad asked.

“I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Dad, Bryce, doesn’t deserve to be listed as her father. If you saw what he had written about her in his journal, you would feel the same way,” Blaine said before he realized it. He hadn't told his family about what Bryce had written about Sere and himself.

“What did he say?” Michael asked quietly, all of a sudden looking as mad as Cooper had a few minutes ago.

“Shit,” Blaine said quietly, looking at his dad. “Hang on a second,” Blaine said, walking into the office where he had put the journal and then walked back into the living room with it. He quickly found the page and starts reading it to them.

“How and when did my life start to suck this bad. I so regret him and her. I wish I could just walk away. I am starting to hate them both, but the best thing I can say about Blaine is that I have a built-in babysitter,” he couldn't even look up, he was so embarrassed for his parents and brother to find out just how bad his marriage had been, feeling like a failure.

“Oh my god, Blaine, why didn't you tell us?” his mom asked, looking at him shocked.

“Who wants to tell their parents something like that, and trust me that is tame compared to some of the other things he had written in here,” He said, finally looking up at her, a sad look on his face.

“Son, I’m so sorry. Now I know why you didn't want to go to the funeral. But we need to be there,” Michael said, looking at him, feeling like Cooper, if Bryce was still alive, Michael would happily kill him for the things he put Blaine through.

“I know dad, I know, but with you guys there, I’ll be ok,” Blaine said quietly, putting his head in his hands once again just wishing tomorrow was over. Blaine stayed like that for several minutes, feeling like he was about to break down, just so tired of everything, and then he heard the sweetest sound he had ever heard in his life.

“Dada,” his head flew up, and he looked at Sere, she was playing with her toes “dada,” she repeated it, and he was out of his chair and kneeling in front of his mom.

“Did you hear that?” he whispered, looking at his mom. She just nodded her head as tears started rolling down her cheeks, with the biggest smile on her face. Blaine quickly stood up and grabbed Sere pulling her to him kissing all over her face

“Who is the smartest little girl in the world?” Blaine said, and then she started giggling. She had no idea, but in that moment, she had saved Blaine. He held her close looking into her face, so thankful for her and knowing that no matter what it had cost him, he was glad that he had met Bryce, because in meeting Bryce, Blaine had gotten his precious little girl, and he would do it all over again.

oOoOo

The next morning everyone got up and started getting ready for the funeral. It was supposed to be at ten at the funeral home across town. Blaine pulls out the only black suit he owns and gets himself dressed, making sure to put the bracelet Kurt had given him back on his wrist. He just knew he was going to need it today. Having it on made Blaine feel closer to Kurt. Made him feel loved, and he really needed that today.

When he was finished getting dressed, he went into Sere's room and pulled out the little dress he had planned on putting on her. It was a navy blue and had little flowers all over it. He changed her diaper, put the dress on her, and then added a pair of blue tights. He had to smile at how cute she looked. He was so very proud to be her daddy.

Blaine walked into the living room and found the rest of his family already dressed and ready to go. He quickly heats up a bottle for Sere and then sits down, snuggling with her until she was done with it. Blaine had arranged for a limousine to drive them to the funeral home, so when it got there, they all walk out and got in.

When they arrive at the funeral home, the first thing Blaine noticed was all the reporters standing around, taking pictures of everyone walking in. It was a star-studded event he almost laughed out loud at that thought. He had figured some of the people who had worked with Bryce would show up, but he really had no idea of the number of people that would.

Blaine was the first to step out of the car, and a million light bulbs flashed. He was wearing a pair of dark sunglasses, he turned around reached in the car and was handed Sere he held her so that her head was on his shoulder trying to hide her face as much as possible. He stepped slightly left, and then Cooper stepped out, and more lights flashed, and reporters started asking questions. They stood there until their mom and dad stepped out of the car.

Cooper moved to the front, raising his hand to get everyone's attention. “We want to thank everyone for the care, concern, and support you have been showing my brother. At this time, we do ask for your continued support as he attempts to get through today. Thank you to everyone who has offered their condolences, it had meant a lot to us. Now if you'll excuse us,” Cooper said, and they all headed toward the door

The whole time Blaine stood there, he kept his head down, he knew if he looked up, looked at Cooper he would laugh. He so just wanted to get this farce over with. He didn't want to be here acting like he cared, when he just couldn't anymore.

The five Anderson's made their way into the Chapel, and Blaine did laugh when he looked up and saw the look on the Mitchell's faces as they walked in. Pam heard it and quickly pulled him into a hug, whispering in his ear, “Behave yourself, Blaine,” as she did so. That had him laughing harder, his shoulders shaking.

Because of her actions, the laugh was reported in the papers and on TV later that Blaine had broken down crying still holding “_their_” Daughter in his arms. Only one other person, besides the Anderson's, knew the truth, knew that sound for what it was. Sitting in his apartment in New York, Kurt laughs himself as he watches the coverage of the funeral being broadcasted live.

He quickly pulls out his phone and sends a text, knowing Blaine's phone would be on vibrate, he watches on television as Blaine pulls his phone out his suit pocket, looks at the screen and then looks at the camera, eyes scrunching up, before wrapping his arms around his mom, laughing again.

Kurt had simply texted Blaine, “Behave.”

oOoOo

After the funeral service was completed, Mr. Garrison, Bryce's lawyer, asked for everyone in the family to meet at his office, once again stating that that had been Bryce's wishes. Blaine walked into the office, holding Sere and followed by his parents. Cooper opted to sit out in the waiting room. He knew his presence wouldn’t be needed for the reading, and he knew that if he had to sit in the same room with Bryce’s father, words would be exchanged. So he opted to give the family space.

When the Mitchell's walk in they look at Blaine and his parents “We didn't think you wanted to have anything to do with the funeral Blaine, you said you had no intention of even being there. Is it all the money you think you are about to get that had you showing up. I knew you were just with him for his money,” his father said, looking at Blaine, hatred written all over his face.

Blaine just laughed, “You really have no clue, do you? I have more money than Bryce ever thought about having, that’s why the prenup was written. It was written to protect my interests, not Bryce’s. I don’t need his money and have no intention of ever touching it. Everything will go into a trust for my daughter. ”

“Whose daughter, Blaine? Whose daughter?” Bryce's mom screamed, making Sere cry when the raised voice scared her.

“_MY DAUGHTER_ June. My Daughter,” Blaine shouted back, holding Sere’s head to his chest, covering her ears, so his voice didn't scare her as well.

“Trust me, Blaine. You won't be listed as her father for long. We will be taking custody of her. We are her closest blood relative. You just swooped in and stole her from us.” June Mitchell answered back, “And I don't remember ever permitting you to call me by my first name MR. ANDERSON,” she said, looking at Blaine.

“I apologize, _Mrs. Mitchell, _but I didn't swoop in anywhere. I sure as hell didn't see you getting on a plane and flying to London to be with your son when he lost his best friend. You weren't there to comfort him when he felt like his world was falling apart, and as for my _Daughter_… bring it” Blaine said looking at them

“We didn't go to London, because you were already there with him, corrupting him, making him think he was gay. You turned our son gay, and we had to face all of our friends when he came out like that. We aren't going to allow you to corrupt our granddaughter as well,” Mr. Mitchell said, stepping forward, sounding just as angry as his wife.

“I didn't turn your son gay, you can't turn someone gay, you are either gay, or you're not. I couldn't have turned him anything, and as far my daughter is concerned _if_ she _does_ end up being gay, as far as I am concerned, that well be perfectly ok, as long as she is happy. Because unlike you, her happiness is all I really care about,” Blaine said, getting upset again.

“Well, just a warning, Mr. Anderson, we have already gotten with a lawyer, and we let them know we want to start proceedings to remove you as her father. Bryce was her father, not you. She will be coming home with us sooner than you think,” June Mitchell said with a nasty smile on her face like she was enjoying what she was doing.

“And how do you plan on paying for said lawyer? You don't have any money, and since Bryce died, you haven't been getting any from him.” Blaine asked looking at them

“Don't concern yourself, we will be able to pay for it with no problem after today,” She grinned again and had Blaine wondering if Bryce had changed his will after all.

“Well, Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell, I wonder how the judge will feel when we tell him that you knew your son was already married, and you told him that he could get remarried, that it would be fine. I wonder how they will take that,” Michael Anderson said, finally stepping forward having heard enough.

“You have no proof that we knew anything about that, you can't prove anything” June Mitchell said starting to sound a little nervous

“Yes, I do, and yes, I can. I have Bryce's journal. You know his journal, the one he wrote in several times a day? Yeah, I have that, so yes, I do have proof, also, in my closet, he has a box stored, and in that box is every single journal he has ever had from the time he was 13. I found them when I was going through his stuff trying to decide what to do with it all,” Blaine said with a smile

“You have his journals, we want them, Blaine, they were his, and we want them,” Mr. Mitchell said, all color draining from his face, wondering what those journals said.

“Nope, I think I’ll hold on to them until I make sure I don't need them anymore, but no, you won't be getting those,” Blaine said, just looking at them.

“Ok, everyone, if you are ready, we will get started with the reading of the will.” Mr. Garrison said finally walking into the room

Everyone found a seat, Blaine, as far away from the Mitchells as he could possibly get.

“This is the last will and testament of one Bryce Benjamin Mitchell, I Bryce Mitchell being of sound mind and body do hereby bequeath all my worldly goods and property to Blaine Devon Anderson. This includes my banks and savings accounts, my apartments in New York, and Paris, my BMW and my mustang that are in the garage at the New York apartment, also the house I own in which my parents currently reside. How you opt to handle that property, I leave to your complete discretion.”

“Wait a blessed minute, he gave our house to that bastard,” Mr. Mitchell screamed, standing up, knocking the chair he had been sitting in backward.

“Mr. Mitchell, please calm down so we can finish the reading of the will.” Mr. Garrison said, looking shocked by the outburst.

“Fine, just fine, go ahead,” Sitting back down, but everyone could tell just how mad he really was.

“Thank you for walking into my life when you did, for being there for Sere. I am leaving everything to you because I know you will always be there to take care of her. I wish I could have been the father to her that I know you will be, I was just never daddy material” Mr. Garrison finished reading the will, listing everything that would now be Blaine's including the apartment in London that had passed to Bryce when Shey died.

“What about us, are you saying he didn't leave us anything?” Mrs. Mitchell screamed, standing up, causing Sere to jump and start crying. Blaine just held her a little closer, rubbing up and down her back and placing little kisses on her head, shooting the woman looks over her head.

Mr. Garrison slowly reached into the top drawer of his desk and pulled out a plain white envelope that had Mom and Dad written on the front in Bryce's handwriting. “He left this for you,” Mr. Garrison said, passing it over without looking at them.

June quickly jumped on the envelope and tore it open and then just looked at it with her mouth hanging open, not understanding as she pulled out a one-dollar bill and nothing more.

“Bryce came back to my office, Mr. Anderson after you were here with him. He wanted to make a few changes to the will he had signed the day you were both here. He asked me if he could get by without leaving his parents anything. I advised him to leave them something, or else they could, potentially, contest the validity of his will. He pulled that bill out of his pocket, asked for an envelope, and put that bill in it.”

“So he leaves that asshole everything, all our money, our house?” Mr. Mitchell chimes in again.

“Yes, Mr. Mitchell, he left him everything,” Mr. Garrison responded. Now understanding why Bryce had done what he had. “Mr. Anderson, I will be forwarding a copy of this will, and the deeds to all properties that will now be yours to your father who works as your lawyer, if I am correct. Bryce wanted me to advise you that all properties were yours to do with as you see fit, especially the one his parents currently reside in.”

“Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell, he was very clear to me that he wanted you to have nothing from him at all. I advised him that he had to leave you something hence the $1.00 he left you.” Mr. Garrison finished looking at them. Letting them know that was the end.

“Right now, Blaine, you sign the deed of our house over to us right now and reinstate our allowance, and you can keep that little bitch, we don't want her. So right now, sign it over, and she is yours, we won't fight you for her” Mr. Mitchell said with a calculating look on his face

Blaine just sat there in complete shock. Number one, he never knew that Bryce would be leaving him the Mitchells house; he hadn't even known that Bryce owned it, to begin with. He slowly stood up, kissed Sere on the top of her head one more time, handed the baby to his mom, and then walked towards Mr. Mitchell.

“So, what you are saying to me right now is that I can sign the deed over to you and basically buy _my_ daughter, is that what I’m hearing from you?” Blaine said in a deathly quiet voice.

“Yes, that is what I’m saying to you, sign it over now, she is yours,” Mr. Mitchell was stupid enough to repeat it. It took everything Blaine had not to deck him

“Oh, trust me, I am not signing over ANYTHING to you ever, and I think you need to be out of _my_ house by this weekend. If any damage is done to it, I will sue you for every last penny you have or don't have, and if you ever call my daughter a bitch again Mr. Mitchell I will forget how my parents raised me,” Blaine said before turning around and walking away, wanting so much just to hurt the guy.

“You can't kick us out of our house. You were never even married to Bryce, your marriage wasn't legal, to begin with since he was still married to Jennifer,” Mrs. Mitchell threw out with a smirk, thinking she was being so smart.

“So, what you are saying, in front of two officers of the court by the way, is that you are admitting that you knew Blaine and Bryce's marriage wasn't legal, and the two of you helped Bryce perpetrate a fraud against Blaine, correct” Michael Anderson also stood up at this point.

The Mitchells finally were smart enough not to open their mouths, not knowing what the blowback from this could be, but knowing that they really didn't have a leg to stand on.

“I expect you out of my house by this weekend, or I will have you arrested for trespassing,” Blaine said, watching them walk out the door. Once they were gone and the door shut, Blaine turned to his parents, “If they hadn't said what they said, offering to let me _buy_ Sere, I would have just signed that house over to them. I don't want it, and it will be something else I am going to have to try to do something with.” Blaine said, sitting back down in the chair he had been sitting in

“Mr. Anderson when Bryce was here, he let it slip that he was technically married to someone else, since I was his lawyer, of course, I couldn't say anything to you,” He said looking at Blaine asking in a way for his understanding

“He didn't want the wording in his will to say he was leaving his possessions to his husband, just your name. He knew that his parents could have come back later, stating that since you were never legally married, the will wasn't legal either. That would have voided this will, and we would have then used his original one that had left everything to his parents. He was cautious about everything. But, I also do feel I need to inform you that he had an appointment set for next week. He told me he wanted to change his will once again. He never told me what part of it, he wanted to change. I felt I needed to let you know,” Mr. Garrison said looking at him

“Thank you for everything, sir. I really appreciate it,” Blaine said, standing up and shaking his hand before reaching down and taking his sleeping daughter out of his mom's arms and walking towards the office door, so glad this was finally over.

“Dad, do you think I was wrong? That I should have signed the deed over to them the way they asked?” Blaine asked when they had all stepped out the door, and it closed behind them.

“I think you did exactly what you needed to do. Don't worry son. If they do decide to fight us, we will have the DNA test as a backup like I said we have just as much right to her as they do, you more so since that adoption made you her legal parent. I don't see how they can possibly fight that, plus, if we need to, we can call Mr. Garrison in to testify to what was said by the Mitchells. Stop worrying son, I can only imagine how hard that will be, but we have this, trust me,” Michael said, walking over and hugging his son.

oOoOo

When they walked into Blaine's apartment he carried Sere into her room, he changed her out of her dress and slipped her into a pair of pajamas knowing they wouldn't be going back out and then laid her in her crib. He walked over to the rocking chair in the corner of her room, pulling out his phone as he went and called the only person in the world he wanted to talk to, and he relaxed for the first time that day hearing that sweet voice.

His parents stayed with him for three days after the funeral, and then his dad needed to head back to Westerville, back to his office. Blaine and Kurt had been talking every day, several times a day, and it just felt so normal to pick up his phone and call him.

“I have a question for you,” Blaine said when Kurt answered the phone.

“What might that be?” Kurt asked, holding his phone to his ear while reading an email from Isabelle.

“Do you have any idea what to do with awards?” Blaine asked him, standing in front of the cabinet that had all Bryce's awards in it.

Kurt stops trying to read and pays attention to what Blaine is saying

“I have all of Bryce's awards, I don't want them, but I have no idea what to do with them or any of the rest of his shit. I want it gone, but have no clue what to do with it,” Blaine said.

“Do you want me to come help you?” Kurt asks, throwing out the offer on the spur of the moment, biting down on his bottom lip, hoping Blaine will say yes. Kurt missed him so much.

“I can't ask you to do that, Kurt,” Blaine said, feeling his heart speed up at the thought of getting to see Kurt again, having Kurt here.

“Blaine, that's what friends do. They are there for each other, to help each other get through things like this,” Kurt said hopeful. He was ready to see Blaine again, even if it had to be just as friends. Kurt hated this, he used to be able to read Blaine, know what he was thinking. Now, more than ever, Kurt wished he still could.

“I would like that, but only if you are sure, Kurt. It’s not that I don't want you here, I do, I just don't want you to feel like you have to do this,” Blaine answered

“Blaine, did you just meet me yesterday? How often have I ever done anything I didn’t want to do?” Kurt asks in his best diva’ish voice, causing Blaine to smile, god, how he had missed conversations like this, where they were just Kurt and Blaine, not putting thought into every word.

“I wouldn't have volunteered if I didn't want to do it. I have several weeks of vacation time built up so I can take a few days. Let me go and tell Isabelle that I won't be here the rest of the week and then I’ll go and pack my bag and be on my way,” Kurt said standing up and walking out of his office door heading to Isabelle's office

“Thanks Kurt, you have no idea how much this means to me. I am going to book you a flight and then call you back with the information if you are sure.” Blaine said with his first real smile in a while.

“That sounds perfect,” Kurt said before hanging up. He explains to Isabelle what is going on, and she tells him to take all the time he needed and also hints about getting his “friend” to do an interview.

“Hey, it was just a suggestion,” she says with a big grin on her face. She remembers Blaine from when he and Kurt were still together and is happy for them that there was a chance they might be able to reconnect. To her, they had always seemed perfect for each other and had been surprised when Kurt had told her that they had broken up again. He never went into why it happened just that it was over.

Blaine managed to get Kurt a flight for 6 pm that night that would land in California at 9 pm with the three hour time difference. Not wanting to take anything for granted and wanting Kurt to be comfortable being there, Blaine stopped on his way to the airport and booked Kurt a suite at a nice motel three miles away from his apartment. Would he have preferred Kurt to have come home with him, stay with him, yes, but he was trying to take this slow and not push Kurt into a situation he wasn’t ready for, plus the only available bedroom was the one he had shared with Bryce. Even though they didn't sleep there together often, it would have just felt weird to him, having Kurt in the bed he had once shared with Bryce. Blaine never planned on sleeping in that room again.

Blaine called the babysitter he and Bryce had found when they had first brought Sere home. Blaine had come to trust her. He had decided not to take Sere with him due to the lateness of the hour, and because he wanted to be able to spend some time alone with Kurt. That would also make things easier should the paparazzi show up.

When he got to the airport, Blaine went straight to the arrival area where Kurt’s plane would be disembarking, anxious to see him again. Blaine had missed Kurt more than he realized in the last year and was glad that he had volunteered to come. Blaine had wanted to ask Kurt, but just couldn’t get the words out. He was still trying to navigate their _new_ friendship, what was ok and what wasn’t, wishing once again that they could just go back to _them_, when everything just seemed natural. Looking around, Blaine was glad to see that the paparazzi hadn’t appeared. He was hoping he could get Kurt out of the airport unnoticed, so that they could have a nice dinner and spend some time together before taking him to his motel for the night. Blaine was pacing the arrival area when he looked up and saw Kurt walking towards him. He couldn’t keep a smile from spreading across his face, as he rushes forward and pulls Kurt into his arms, holding him close and never wanting to let him go.

“I can't believe you are here,” Blaine whispers in his ear, just wanting to kiss him, but he tells himself, friends, we are going to be friends. With a sigh, Blaine reigns in his feeling, pulls Kurt just a little tighter for a moment, and then slowly lets him go. “You ready to get out of here?”

“Yeah, let’s go,” Kurt said, trying to smile, wondering why Blaine was acting weird around him.

Blaine reached down and takes Kurt’s carry on from him and then starts leading him towards the airport doors, wishing he had the nerve to reach out and hold Kurt’s hand. The time Blaine had spent with Bryce had helped him in some ways. He had learned to be comfortable holding Bryce’s hand in public, or occasionally placing a quick kiss on his cheek, but he still couldn’t bring himself to do the same with Kurt, and he hated that everything seemed off with them. Blaine decided right then that he and Kurt needed to talk, they needed to decide what and how much was acceptable. He hated feeling unsure around Kurt, the one person he had always known better than anyone. Blaine had gotten so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t pay attention to his surroundings like he usually did, and only became aware of the paparazzi, only when he saw the flash from a camera. He reached down, grabbed Kurt's hand with his free one, and sprinted toward the exit.

“Sorry about that,” Blaine said out of breath when they finally got them to his car. Blaine put Kurt’s suitcase in the backseat and then walks up to Kurt, standing in front of him, so nervous all of a sudden.

“It's ok, that wasn’t your fault,” Kurt said, looking up at Blaine. He still couldn’t believe he was here, that they were together again, well Kurt hopes they will be together soon anyway. He knows they have a lot to work through. A long conversation to have, but he was hopeful for the first time in a long time. He just wishes this didn’t feel so weird, that they didn’t seem almost hesitant with each other. They hadn’t acted like this around each other since the day they first met. After that, they had just always meshed with each other perfectly.

Blaine slowly moves closer to Kurt. He knows he shouldn’t, but he just can’t seem to get close enough, can’t stop himself, like something unseen was drawing him closer, and he was starting to wonder why he even fought it. Never taking his eyes off of Kurt, Blaine slowly raises his hand so that he was cupping Kurt’s cheek, gently rubbing his thumb up and down, as his heartbeat picks up and feels like it wants to bust through his chest. Kurt was there with him for the first time in a long time, and he just wanted him back.

“Kurt, can I kiss you” He whispered so quietly Kurt almost didn't hear it, so mesmerized by Blaine's eyes, the ones he used to spend hours staring into. Kurt slowly nodded his head and then watched as Blaine slowly lowered his head, closing his eyes when he felt Blaine's lips gently rub against his, and just like that, he is transported back in time, a time when this beautiful man was still his.

Blaine deepens the kiss, slowly sliding his tongue into Kurt's mouth, tasting him after what feels like forever, sliding his hands down Kurt's back, down to his ass, pulling him forward, needing him closer. Every kiss they had shared since they started talking again had been soft, gentle, a kiss of friendship. But this, this was a real kiss, something he had missed so much, but he also wanted so much more. When Blaine pulled slowly away, he kept his hand on Kurt's cheek, gently rubbing his face with his thumb, never taking his eyes off the man he still loved so much. The person he had once loved above all others, now, there was only one person who he loved more, his little Sere.

“Blaine, can I ask you a question?” Kurt whispers, not taking his eyes off of Blaine, loving the feeling of him rubbing his face, being back in his strong arms. “Why did you ask to kiss me? You’ve never done that before,” Kurt said, feeling a sudden sadness he couldn't understand.

“I asked you Kurt, because every other time I have kissed you, except for the first time, you had been mine. Now…” Blaine let his words trail off raising his shoulders, but he never once stopped rubbing up and down Kurt's cheek.

Kurt stepped closer, placing his forehead on Blaine's shoulder and started to cry, Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist, pulling him closer, beginning to wonder if there was any way back for them, so hoping there was. He needed so much to believe that there was.


	14. Dreams

oOoOo

Kurt stood there with his head on Blaine's shoulder, tears running down his face feeling so much pain, wishing with everything he had that things could be different, that some things had never happened, but he knew he couldn't re-write the past, he could only hope for the future.

“I'm still yours Blaine, I will always be yours, whenever you are ready for me to be,” Kurt said softly, lifting his head off of Blaine's shoulder and looking him in the eyes.

“Kurt,” Blaine whispered before bringing both hands up to frame Kurt's face, and then leans in and places another kiss on his lips, hungry, sensual, deep, and also with a little anger. Their tongues connecting, in a dance they had shared a million times over the years their tongues having their own language.

Blaine pulled away, only when he was out of breath, but couldn’t bring himself to move away from Kurt. Needing his closeness, his heat, and yes, his love. Blaine looked down at the face of his angel, the face of the man he loved, seeing his red swollen lips, he dives back in and kisses Kurt again, and before he realizes what he is doing Blaine is pushing Kurt back against the car, his hardness pressing against Kurt's, he gasps and then remembers where they are. They are in a public parking lot, outside of one of the largest international airports in the world, where just a few minutes ago, the paparazzi had been storming around them. Kurt deserved so much more than being tomorrow's headline news, so he gently places another kiss on Kurt’s cheek, opens the door for him, and helps Kurt in, softly closing the door behind him. Blaine shakes his head, takes a few deep breaths while walking around the car, and then climbs into the driver's seat, and they are off.

Blaine was kicking himself all the way to the restaurant, friends. We’re going to be friends, he keeps telling himself. Blaine knows he can't lose Kurt again, that he can't live his life without him being in it, in some way being part of it. So if that means they stay only friends, then they stay only friends, he can't risk not having Kurt in his life again, that had hurt too badly. He had missed him too much, so even though his body was screaming for more, Blaine knows for now he needs to listen to his heart.

oOoOo

Blaine took Kurt to his favorite restaurant in Los Angeles, and they fall right back into step with each other. It was like the last year hadn’t happened at all, and they had just had dinner together the night before. It reminded Blaine of their Friday night dates at Breadstix when they still lived in Ohio or Gino’s when they were in New York. Even though they had been engaged, Blaine had wanted to keep their date night routine. They usually had dinner with their friends every other night, but Friday night had been for him and Kurt. Blaine had wanted Kurt to know he was still important to him. He wanted to keep the romance alive even though they were engaged.

“Thank you for that text, by the way,” Blaine said, laughing, “I needed that more than you will ever know.”

“Why were you laughing to begin with?” Kurt asked with a smile on his face

“Oh my god, if you could have seen the looks on the Mitchell's faces when I walked in. I had told them that I had no intention of being there. I couldn't care less about what they did, I would pay for whatever they wanted, but that was it. I wanted nothing to do with the funeral. I guess they thought they were going to play it up for the cameras, play the grieving parents, get everyone's sympathy and talk bad about me for not being there. Their expressions changed when not only I walked in, but my whole family,” Blaine said grinning the grin that Kurt had always loved so much

“So, how did it go?” Kurt finally asked, looking at Blaine and watched as that grin slipped off of his face.

“It went about like I expected it would. Right after the service, we had to go to Bryce's lawyer's office. Bryce had added a codicil to his will that in the case of his death, his will was to be read immediately after the funeral. Right after we got married, I had changed my will listing Bryce and Sere as my beneficiaries. Something told me not to trust him with it, that I needed to list Sere separately. He decided that since we were married, his will needed to be changed as well. I was a little surprised when I realized he didn’t even mention Sere’s name at all. I guess he just knew that I would always take care of her.”

“What I didn't expect was that he was going to leave me everything, and I mean everything. He left me his apartment in Pairs, and New York that I didn’t even know he owned, as well as the cars he had housed there. When Shey died, she had willed the apartment she lived in, in London to Bryce, so that was also passed on to me. The thing that really blew all of our minds was that he left me the house his parents currently live in, and the will said for me to deal with that property as I saw fit. If his parents hadn't shown their asses, I would have just signed the house over to them. I don’t need it, but instead of keeping their mouths shut and allowing me the opportunity to sign the deed over to them, they basically offered to let me buy my daughter from them, in exchange for the house,” Blaine finished still feeling disgusted by them.

“What do you mean ‘_buy_’ your daughter? I don't understand,” Kurt looked at him, confused.

“The first words out of their mouth when we had walked into the lawyer's office was that they were going to fight me for custody of Sere, that way if I got everything through Bryce's will, as Sere's guardian they would get access to the money left by Shey for her. They don't want her, they just want the money she was left.”

“Dad feels that since the adoption was legal, that they can't take her from me, but just to be safe he is having a paternity test run so that we can prove he was Shey's father and we will have as much legal right to her with or without the adoption as they do. They told me that if I signed the house over to them, they wouldn't fight me for custody. I told them where to go, and to be out of my house by Saturday.” Blaine told him, still not believing how the Mitchells had acted.

“Wow, what are you going to do with their house?” Kurt asked, looking at him.

“I guess I’ll sell it. I don’t want it, and I don’t have any use for it at all. It’s one of those places that was meant to be a showplace, not a home. I’ve only been there twice, but it felt sterile and cold. Each time I felt like I needed to take me shoes off before daring to walk in the door. I know Bryce owned it, but I am sure he didn’t pick it our or decorate it, that was all June Mitchell. Once it’s sold, along with everything else, I can put the money into Sere’s trust, I want nothing to do with any of it, but it’s rightfully hers.”

“I still have everything in my apartment, I need to get rid of, and then I need to clear out Shey's apartment in London. When we got Sere, we just went in and packed the stuff we thought we would need for her. We didn't find out until later that Bryce had been left everything, including her apartment. So I have that to clean out and place it on the market. Bryce had been paying the mortgage payments on it until he could figure out what to do with it.”

“I didn't know her at all, and I have to go in there and try to decide what just to get rid of and what to keep for Sere. There was so much stuff in there, little books and scrapbooks, I can tell she loved her, and I want to make sure Sere knows that one day. I want to find some stuff so she can learn about her mom, the person, and not just her public life, you know.” Blaine said with a sad look on his face.

“Her public life?” Kurt questioned.

“Oh crap, I didn't tell you, Sere's mom was Shey Alexander,” Blaine replied.

“Oh, wow,” Kurt said in awe. He had known Shey Alexander had died but still didn’t put the two Shey’s together. He had watched every movie she had been in, even one of the earlier ones she was in with Bryce Mitchell. Kurt had even seen her in a play once. She had been an amazing actress.“

“Yup, one and the same. It’s funny, I used to follow her work. I always thought she was amazing and had no idea that she was my sister. Now, I have her apartment to sort through. It would be different if I didn’t know she was family, I could just go in and throw stuff away, but she _was_ family. I also have no idea what I am going to find in Paris or New York. I understand the New York apartment in a way. I knew he was planning on filming a movie there, once he was done in Morocco, but why Paris? It just doesn’t make sense, and I have no idea how long he has owned either property,” Blaine says with a sigh. “I just wish he had left everything to his parents, you know so that I didn't have to deal with it. I just want this all to be over, so I can get back to my life, whatever that may be” Blaine said looking at Kurt

“You'll figure it out Blaine, you always do,” Kurt said and meant it. Blaine had always been one of those people who could think on his feet and make the right decisions. Looking back, Kurt wished he could have learned that from Blaine, maybe he wouldn't have screwed up as bad as he did.

“I guess,” Blaine said, shrugging, “Are you ready to get out of here?” Blaine asked, looking at Kurt, glad to be able to talk to him again. He had missed that, just being able to talk to his friend.

They stood up, and right as they were about to walk out the door, Blaine saw lights flashing outside. “Fuck, why can't they just leave me alone?” Blaine said, shaking his head. He turns around and looks at Kurt, pulling out a pair of sunglasses he always kept in his pocket and handed them to him.

“I’m sorry about this. I don't know how they found us here unless someone called them. Just follow me, and I’ll try to get us out of here,” Blaine said, watching as Kurt slipped the glasses on.

_“Blaine,”_

_“Blaine, is this your new boyfriend?”_

_“Are you already dating someone?”_

_“Where is Sere Tonight?”_

Blaine just holds up his hands so that everyone quiets down. “Sere is with a sitter tonight, this is not my boyfriend, and no, I am not dating anyone. He is my best friend from high school. He came in to help me settle some things and offer his support. Goodnight,” Blaine said before putting his hand on Kurt's lower back to guide him through the group of reporters, and then towards his car

Kurt walked beside Blaine feeling a sense of sadness, like he had never felt before. “_Best friend from high school_” is what Blaine had called him, and that had hurt him so badly. They had been so much more. Boyfriends, fiancés, lovers. They hadn't been just best friends in a long time, not since Dalton. Kurt realized at that moment, that’s all they were now. He was on the same level as Sam and Tina, and he wanted to cry. Kurt just hoped he could hold off until they got to Blaine's apartment so he could go into his bathroom and breakdown.

Blaine pulled up outside the Beverly Wilshire and parked his car. “You live here?” Kurt asked, surprised, looking at him. Blaine had talked about an apartment. Kurt hadn’t thought the apartment would be in a hotel.

“No, I don't live here. I live about 3 miles away. I booked you a room here,” Blaine said, stepping out of the car and then walking around to open Kurt’s door. Kurt stepped out and just looked at Blaine, not understanding at all. He then watched as Blaine walked to the trunk, got his suitcase out, and then started walking toward the door leading to the lobby. Blaine didn’t stop once to see if Kurt was following him, he just walked to the reception desk and smiled at the woman standing behind it. Kurt walked up behind him, feeling so lost. “Hi, I booked a room for Kurt Hummel.”

Kurt watches as she scrolls through the reservations and finds him listed, and passes him a key card. “Yes sir, we have him booked in room 346. Take the middle elevator, and it will take you to the correct floor, please let us know if there is anything you need Mr. Hummel, I hope you enjoy your stay.”

“Thank you,” Kurt whispers, feeling like his stay had already been ruined, but he kept his mouth shut.

Blaine guides Kurt to the elevator she had mentioned, stepped into it and pressed the button for the third floor. When the elevator doors closed, Blaine reached down and took Kurt’s hand in his. He had wanted to touch Kurt since they left the airport, but this was the first time all night he had allowed himself too. He was trying to do this right, build on what they had now, so maybe they could have more if that was something Kurt wanted as well. When Blaine guides Kurt to his room, still holding his hand. He stops in front of Kurt's door, opens it for him, and then hands him the key card.

“I don't understand,” Kurt said quietly, looking into Blaine's face, still trying his best not to break down

Blaine finally sees how Kurt is looking and understand immediately. He quickly walks them into the room, shutting the door behind them, and then he is pulling Kurt into his arms. “Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry. I thought you would be more comfortable staying here tonight. My apartment only has two bedrooms. One of them is the nursery, and the other was mine and Bryce's room. I’m not even sleeping in there anymore. I couldn't ask you too. I have been sleeping in the living room on a pull out bed since I got home from Morocco.”

“I didn't mean to make you think I didn't want to be with you. Nothing could be further from the truth,” Blaine said, leaning in and placing a sweet kiss on Kurt's lips, “I love you, Kurt, please don't ever forget that. If you want, I can be here first thing in the morning, and pick you up, take you to my apartment, and we can figure out what to do from there,” Blaine said before kissing him again.

“Ok,” Kurt said, trying to smile and failing.

“Oh Kurt, we’ll figure all this out, I promise. I’ll be here in the morning at eight unless that is too early for you?” Blaine asks feeling like an ass for not thinking about how this whole thing would look to Kurt

“No, that won't be too early,” Kurt said quietly as Blaine pulls him into a hug and places one last kiss on his lips. Kurt then has to stand back and watch as Blaine walks to the door, opens it, and then closes it behind him. Kurt walks over to the bed, crawls in and curls up in a fetal position, and falls apart. He hated this, the separation, and knew he had no one to blame for it but himself, this was all on him.

oOoOo

Blaine woke up screaming. He had just had another nightmare. This time it had been about his and Kurt's first break up. The nightmare had been so very real. It had started with him telling Kurt about Eli, about what he had done, begging Kurt to forgive him. To please not end them. He had watched as Kurt had started crying and then as he had run away. Blaine had fallen to his knees and cried, pulling on his hair, screaming, before standing up and running after Kurt trying to catch him. He had to make him listen, to understand. And like always, that is where the dream ended. But he can still remember every second of that night.

Blaine had shown up at Kurt's door. He wasn't supposed to be there for another two weeks, but, he had to confess, he had to tell him what he had done. Blaine had never lied to Kurt before, and to him, not confessing would have been the same as a lie. So he had gotten on a plane and went to New York. Blaine remembers he had never felt so nervous in his life. He had seen the flower shop on the way to Kurt’s apartment and stopped and bought some roses. Looking back, he doesn't know why he had done it, but it had just felt so right.

He had wanted to spend time with Kurt, somewhere private, to have the conversation he knew they needed to have. When Kurt had said that he, Rachel, and Finn had been about to go out, Blaine quickly agreed to join them. That would give him just a little more time to get his thoughts in order, figure out exactly what he needed to say. That had been one of the worst nights of his life. He had sung at Callbacks, and still wished he had chosen any other song, anything but Teenage Dream. That had been their song. It had been something special between them, and he had ruined it. Kurt had known right away that something was wrong. He had known Blaine so well, knew every one of Blaine’s moods, leaving Blaine no choice but to tell him the truth. When they had left Callbacks, Kurt had asked quietly what was wrong, Blaine had told him the truth and had broken Kurt’s heart in the process. His night with Eli hadn’t been worth it. Nothing could ever be worth losing his Kurt.

Blaine had just gotten to a point where he didn’t feel anything anymore, except numb. He had gone to Eli’s place, hoping just to feel something again, and he had… for a few minutes anyway. He had kissed Eli. They had even made it as far as the bed and were making out. It felt good at first, but that quickly faded. Eli had really gotten into it, but not Blaine. He couldn’t go through with it, he hadn’t even gotten hard. Blaine had never gotten the chance to tell Kurt that he hadn’t gone all the way with Eli that night, that until Bryce, Kurt had been the only person he had ever had sex with. He couldn’t say make love, because what had happened with Bryce was definitely not love.

When Blaine had finally made it home that night, he had cried harder than he ever had in his life. He had just ruined everything, and Blaine knew nothing would ever be the same again. He had crawled into his bed and cried for hours, knowing what he needed to do, he needed to talk to Kurt, and oh how he dreaded it. When he had heard his parents moving around the next morning, he had told them that he needed to see Kurt, that he had ruined everything. They had taken one look at him, and let him go. His mom had pulled him into a hug. She hadn’t known what was going on, but the look on Blaine’s face had told her that it was bad.

After Kurt ran off, Blaine had followed him back to his apartment, still hoping they could talk, hoping that they could still work this out. Blaine had known he had messed up, but still had hope that they could fix it. He had known there was no hope when Kurt had quietly told him, he could sleep in his room that night, but Blaine also heard the unspoken words that he would be expected to leave the next morning. Kurt had then reached into one of his drawers, pulled out a pair of pajamas, and went to the bathroom to change. That was the first time Kurt had ever done that. They had made love to each other hundreds of times, Blaine had seen every inch of Kurt's beautiful body, and that hit him harder than any words could have. It was really over.

He had watched Kurt come back into the room, eyes red-rimmed. Had watched Kurt walk to his side of the bed, pull down the covers, and slip between the sheets, before turning his back on him. Blaine had stood there watching as his beautiful Kurt’s shoulders started to shake, and heard him quietly cry. Blaine had wanted to run up to him, pull him into his arms and hold him tight, but he knew he no longer had that right. Blaine had grabbed the pajamas he had brought with him, and like Kurt carried them into the bathroom to change. When he walked back into the room, Kurt’s shoulders were no longer shaking, his breathing had evened out, but Blaine still heard the hiccups coming from his beautiful boy, his love, he had fallen asleep crying, and it had been his fault. He had been the one to cause that pain, something he never thought he would do.

Blaine had quietly walked to his side of the bed and crawled in. Rolling on his side, he turned off the light and broke down. To this day, Blaine wonders how Kurt had let him stay, allowed him to be in his bed after what he’d done. That had been the longest night of his life. Blaine had finally drifted to sleep at around three.

That night the apartment had been filled with so much tension between Kurt and Blaine and also between Rachel and Finn. Two relationships had ended that night. Two relationships that Blaine had always thought would make it. Especially him and Kurt, he had never had a doubt they would. When Blaine had woken up the next morning, Kurt had no longer been in bed. He quietly got up, gotten dressed, and went looking for him. He found Kurt in the living room. Blaine had wanted Kurt to yell, scream, to fight, something, but he hadn't. He had just looked at Blaine with a sad, crushed expression on his face and just asked, “Why?”

Sere crying brought Blaine out of his thoughts and had him crawling out of bed. The way he felt at that moment, that breakup could have just happened, well either breakup really. He felt raw, exposed, and yes, hurt. He realized that even with everything he had gone through with Bryce, every awful word that had been spoken, and everything he had learned, nothing could ever hurt him as bad as what he had done to Kurt and, in turn, what Kurt had done to him.

“What's wrong baby, I'm sorry, did I wake you up? ” Blaine asked, picking Sere up, holding her tight, once again knowing that if it wasn't for her, he would never make it through. He went over and changed her diaper and then carried her into the kitchen to heat her a bottle, and then he walked with her into the living room, sitting down in the rocking chair and gently started to rock.

“What would you say about us finding a new place to live, huh? Shake some old memories and maybe make some new ones. I have someone we are going to spend some time with today. You met him in New York. I think you’re really going to like him. He’s someone really special to daddy. He’s my oldest friend,” Blaine said softly to Sere looking down into her beautiful face

When she finished her bottle, he placed her head gently on his shoulder and just rocked, holding her, not ready to let her go yet. He needed to hold her, to feel her warmth to chase away the memories that dream had brought on. He was going to be meeting Kurt later and needed to have a clear head when he did. He wondered once again if these nightmares would ever end.

He softly started singing a song, never once stopping his rocking

_Hello darkness, my old friend  
I've come to talk with you again  
Because a vision softly creeping  
Left its seeds while I was sleeping  
And the vision that was planted in my brain  
Still remains  
Within the sound of silence_

_In restless dreams, I walked alone  
Narrow streets of cobblestone  
'Neath the halo of a street lamp  
I turned my collar to the cold and damp  
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light  
That split the night  
And touched the sound of silence_

Blaine slowly raises his hand to wipe the tears that were now streaming down his face, wondering if he could do this, could he trust again, and if he did, and if it ended, could he survive it again. It had been bad enough when he was alone, but now he had his beautiful little girl to worry about. Did he trust enough to let another person in her life? Could he take the chance of her getting hurt? That was something he needed to decide before he moved on any further. Letting himself get hurt was one thing, but letting her get hurt was a completely different story.

oOoOo

At 4:30, Blaine stood up and carried Sere back to her room and placed her in her crib. He had been thinking about the past, everything that had happened. When he was younger, everything had seemed so promising, after everything that had happened at Carson, when his parents had transferred him to Dalton, he had thrived, Blaine had finally found the place he fit in, the place where he belonged. Then, he met Kurt, and his life had really begun. He had fallen so hard for him. Kurt had quickly become the center of his universe. Blaine couldn't see himself without seeing Kurt beside him until he the day he had too. But if he was honest with himself, after the last break up, he had grown, he had become himself again, found his own center. One that wasn't centered on Kurt. He had become strong again.

Looking back on everything that had happened, every bad decision he had made, had gotten him here. Yes, part of it, he would gladly redo, but he had proven to himself that he could survive on his own. He was stronger than he had ever thought he was. He also realizes that anyone can hurt you, and knock you down, but he can't keep spending his life afraid of being hurt, he had to believe again. He was ready to try living again, and he knew who he wanted to do that with. It was time to believe again. Kurt had forgiven him when he had messed up, it had taken him a while, but he had forgiven him. Being apart again had shown Blaine what he wanted out of life, it showed him how important Kurt was to him. It also showed him that it was time to forgive.

When they had hooked up after Rachel's house party, and he had told Kurt he felt they needed to stay broken up, Blaine knew he had made the right decision for himself at the time, but now he feels like he is ready to try again. Looking at the clock, Blaine realizes he still has 3 hours before he said he would pick Kurt up. He smiles and walks into his room and takes a quick shower and gets dressed.

Walking back into the living room, he pulls out his keyboard and starts playing. He plays Teenage Dream, Somewhere only we know, Perfect, and ends with American Boy, remembering Kurt singing that song with him at his showcase and remembering the look on Kurt's face when he had told the room that he wanted to sing with his fiancé. Blaine had felt so proud that night saying those words.

At 6:30 Blaine gives up waiting, he goes back into his room, opens up his top dresser drawer, and pulls out his bracelet. He is ready to fight again, fight to get his Kurt back. He was ready. Blaine went into Sere's room and gently picked her up. Not even bothering to change her, out of her pajamas, he’ll do that when he gets home. He does, however, throw a few diapers and wipes in her diaper bag, and he is heading out the door.

On the way to the hotel he swings into Starbucks and grabs himself a medium drip and Kurt a grande nonfat mocha, he smiles when he thinks of how many times he had ordered that exact drink for Kurt, thinking about the first time he had ordered it without asking Kurt what he wanted first. Kurt had looked at him, shocked, and said, “You remembered my coffee order?” Blaine had just answered, of course, as if he could forget anything about Kurt, even then.

When he pulls into the parking lot of the motel, he steps out, slings the diaper bag over his shoulder, unhooks the infant car seat from its base, then grabs the coffee and is heading inside, only an hour early. Kurt won't hurt him too badly, he thinks with a laugh. He takes the elevator up to the third floor, sets Sere down in front of Kurt's door, so he has a free hand and then knocks. Blaine leaned on the door jamb for five minutes before he watches the door slowly open, and he sees Kurt, and can only smile. Oh yeah, he was definitely ready.

“Blaine,” Kurt says softly, eyes blinking from the lights in the hallway, and Blaine sees how puffy Kurt's eyes were; he had gone to sleep crying. Blaine promises himself that he will never allow that to happen again, he will work hard never to make Kurt cry again

“I did say seven, didn't I?” Blaine asks looking at him with a sheepish smile, “I brought coffee...” knowing that if you were going to wake Kurt up early on a day he didn't have to work there had better be coffee or snuggles involved, he had the coffee, and hopes for the other later after they talk.

“Umm, I could have sworn you said 8,” Kurt said with the beginnings of a smile on his face reaching out and grabbing his cup of coffee, and taking a big sip sighing. “You always knew the best ways to wake me up,” Kurt smiled and then realized what he said and looked up at Blaine to see how he was going to take that.

“Oohh really” Blaine said, reaching down, grabbing Sere's carrier and moving her into the room shutting the door. Blaine sets his cup of coffee down on the dresser, and then reaches out, taking Kurts and sitting beside his. Without warning, Blaine pulls Kurt too him and kisses him hard, and heavy, sliding his tongue into his mouth, tasting coffee and Kurt, his two favorite flavors in the world. Blaine slowly backs Kurt up until his back is pressed against a wall. Blaine braces his forearms beside Kurt's head, kissing all over his face, along his jaw, to his ear. “I love you, Kurt,” he whispered in his ear, never meaning it more. “I want you, Kurt,” Blaine whispered next, slowly pressing his hardness into Kurt so he can feel just how badly Blaine wanted him. “I want you with me forever,” he said softly before attacking his lips again.

“Wait, what did you say?” Kurt asked, turning his head a little so he could talk.

“I love you, Kurt,” Blaine said, leaning back in to kiss him again a smile on his face knowing precisely what Kurt was asking.

“No, what else did you say?” Kurt asked, turning his head away again so he could talk.

Blaine kissed his neck and up to his ear, “I need you, Kurt,” he said, pushing his hips forward once again, letting Kurt know just how bad he wanted him.

“Blllaaaaiiinnee,” Kurt whined. Blaine could only laugh he had so missed that, how Kurt would sound when he was getting frustrated when he wanted Blaine to repeat himself, and Blaine would say everything, but the one thing he wanted him too.

Blaine stood back, the smile dropping off his face, looking Kurt in the eyes one hundred percent serious “I want you with me forever,” he said, reaching out and holding both of Kurt's hands in his.

“I love you, Kurt. I have missed you so much. I can't regret the turns my life took because I wouldn't have that little girl over there. But I am done fighting it Kurt,” Blaine said, leading Kurt over to the bed so they could set down.

“I’ve been so afraid of being hurt again that I’ve been afraid to live. I realized this morning that I had to let go of that fear, let go of past mistakes because until I do, I’ll never really be able to move forward. I want you back, Kurt in every way, as my friend, my boyfriend, my lover, my everything. Things won't be easy, and I know that we have a lot we need to work through, plus I now have a daughter who depends on me and who I love to distractions. She will always have to be my number one priority” Blaine said looking at him, placing a soft kiss on his lips.

“Kurt, will you make me the happiest man in the world and be my boyfriend again? Will you put up with my crazy, and let me be part of your life again? Like I said I know it won't be easy, but I think _WE_ have always been worth it,” Blaine asked, giving Kurt’s hand a gentle squeeze.

“Blaine, are you serious?” Kurt whispered with tears running down his face before a smile spread across his face “Yes, yes, yes a million times yes,” Kurt said laughing before jumping onto Blaine pushing him down on the bed, placing a hundred kisses all over his face

When Sere started fussing, Blaine stood up “What is it sweet girl did the bad man attack your daddy, huh, did he? Well, whatever are we going to do about that?” Blaine said, picking her up and placing soft kisses over her face making her giggle the way he loved. “Shall we attack him back? You see, daddy knows all his tickle spots,” Blaine said, walking back over to the bed, still holding her with a mischievous look on his face.

“Blaine, don't you dare,” Kurt said his voice getting higher.

“Well, you see, Sere feels we need to get back at you for attacking me,” Blaine said, winking at Kurt. “Oh well, I guess we'll just have to settle for a kiss,” Blaine said before leaning down and placing a small kiss on Kurt's lips.

“Are you ready to get out of here?” Blaine said, placing one more kiss on Kurt’s lips.

“Yeah, let me get dressed,” Kurt said, before standing it and grabbing some clothes out of his suitcase and walking into the bathroom to get dressed. Blaine hated that, wanting them to get back to where they were, but knowing it will take a while before they are.

When Kurt stepped back out of the bathroom, he saw that Blaine was changing Sere, and he saw the bracelet for the first time and could only smile, he was wearing it again. Blaine had planned on asking him to be his boyfriend again before he even got here. It wasn't a spur of the moment thing, and Kurt became happier than he had been in a while.

Blaine puts Sere back in her car seat, picks her up, and waits for Kurt. “Grab your suitcase. You won't be staying here tonight,” Blaine said with a soft smile because he wanted Kurt to be with him.

“Are you sure Blaine?” Kurt asked looking at him

“I have never been more sure about anything,” he said and stood back and watched as Kurt repacked everything into his suitcase, picked it up and then Blaine grabbed his hand and held it down the elevator, over to the reception desk to check Kurt out, and then outside and to his car.

He drove to his apartment, feeling a little nervous about taking Kurt into the apartment he had shared with Bryce, wondering for the first time if he was going to find it weird, and also wondering if this was too much, too fast.

“Kurt sweetheart, are you sure you want to do this, that you are ok with this? If you don't want to, I’ll understand,” Blaine said, looking at Kurt, not wanting to jeopardize something that he had just gotten back.

“I'm sure Blaine, trust me, this will be fine,” Kurt said but feeling a little dread as well. He really hated that Blaine had been with someone else, had “married” this person, when he had always thought it would be them that got married, once again regretting past mistakes.

While Blaine got Sere out of her seat and grabbed her diaper bag, Kurt let himself out of the car. Blaine had always opened the door for him. He had once explained to him that he loved just taking care of him, but Blaine now had someone else to take care of, and even though they were starting over, he needed to figure where he now stands in Blaine's life, hoping that they can make it work again.

Kurt followed Blaine into the building, watched as he waved at the security sitting behind a big desk, and then walked over to an elevator that he had to put a key card in before the elevator would even open.

“After ‘Always’ aired, and we got Sere, we had to move to a safer building,” Blaine said explaining the elevator, hoping that now that he planned on getting out of the business, and once everything blew over with Bryce's death that he could move back into a normal life without the paparazzi hounding them.

Blaine stepped out of the elevator followed by Kurt, he turned left down the hall and stopped in front of his door and unlocked and opened it and stood back and let Kurt in. The first thing he realized was that he had been in such a hurry to leave and get to Kurt; he had forgotten to put the pull out bed away. “Sorry, give me a sec,” Blaine said, smiling at Kurt and taking a sleeping Sere into her room and putting her in the crib.

When he walked back into the living room, he saw Kurt standing in front of the cabinet where all the awards were kept “Yeah there are a bunch of them,” Blaine said walking behind him, wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist, loving having him back in his arms.

“Which ones are yours,” Kurt asked and watched as Blaine pointed his out.

“Ok, you said you didn't know what to do with Bryce's awards. I had an idea, why don't you donate them to a charity. They can auction them off and make money. I remember growing up hearing about the Children's Miracle Network. They always had telethons to raise money to help kids or even Saint Jude. They do a lot of good too. You can donate them to something like that, that way you aren't throwing them away and they will go to a cause we can both stand behind.

“I love that, Kurt, how do we get ahold of them?” Blaine asked, turning Kurt to face him.

“Do you have a computer??” Kurt asked

“Yeah, hang on,” Blaine walked into his bedroom and pulled it out of his old Dalton messenger bag he still carried his laptop in and could do nothing but smile. This was the same laptop he used when he was going to NYADA. When he left school, he never felt the need to replace it.

The last time Kurt had seen it was when he was still living with Mercedes and Sam. Blaine had cooked dinner for them for their Friday date night, instead of going out somewhere. Blaine remembers he had just wanted to spend time with Kurt alone. He had been having a tough time adjusting to college life and had started feeling insecure about himself, and his body, and had just wanted to spend the night holding Kurt.

Instead of staying home, Kurt talked him into walking to see a movie and eating a salad at one of their favorite restaurants instead of eating the heavy meal he had made for them. When Kurt had opened the laptop to find showtimes, the first thing he saw was the website Frat Boi Physicals, Kurt had just walked away and left the apartment. Blaine had seen how hurt Kurt was and promised himself he would never put Kurt through that again. After that, he had never gone back to that site or any like it again.

Blaine carried the laptop into the living room, plugs it in and turns it on, passing it to Kurt. Kurt smiles and shakes his head. “Am I going to find anything interesting when I open this up?” Kurt asks, recognizing the laptop right away.

“No,” Blaine laughs, kissing Kurt on his cheek.

Kurt pulls up the website for both charities, and they research them. Blaine likes the idea of giving something to a charity that researches childhood diseases. Now that he has a baby, he thinks about things like that more, how he would feel if that was his child going through something like that.

“Let's do St Jude, I like what they do, and what they stand for,” Blaine said looking at Kurt.

Kurt looks through the website and finds a telephone number for their business office. Blaine calls it, introduces himself, and talks to them about what he wants to do, what he wants to donate.

“Do you know if you would be interested in any of the clothes, or just the awards?”

“Yes, I do have some of them that he wore to different events and pictures that show him wearing them,”

“Yes ma'am that will work, when do you think someone could be here?”

“Yes ma'am today would actually be perfect I need to be in New York tomorrow.”

“Yes ma'am, I would be happy too, if you have some printed out.”

“Ok, I’ll see them then. Just tell them to go to security, and then I can buzz them up.”

“You are welcome, have a good day,”

“Wow,” Blaine said, hanging up and turning around to look at Kurt. “They are sending some people over now. They want the awards and clothes. I need to pull out Bryce's photo album. He has a lot of pictures that show him in a lot of the clothes he had. They can use them as provenance for the clothes. They also asked if I would be willing to sign some pictures they could sell as well, I wasn't expecting that at all.”

“It would seem that they are working on getting some stuff together for an auction right now, hence their rush to come and get everything, they said they would be here in an hour,” Blaine said still in shock that they wanted his signature. Sometimes he still can't believe the publicity he gets. He was just a normal man who walked onto a show and loved doing it. He wasn't interested in ever doing another one but had loved working on that show.

“_So_… you need to be in New York tomorrow?” Kurt asked, looking at Blaine. He had been a little surprised by that. Blaine hadn't said anything about going there, and now Kurt wonders if this is a way to get away from him politely.

“Not necessarily need to, but I figured if we could get a lot of this cleared out today, we might be able to go check out the New York apartment and see what I am going to be dealing with there. I’m hoping there isn't that much, to be honest.” Blaine said, looking at Kurt.

“Oh, so you want me to go with you?” Kurt asked, feeling better. He wasn't trying to get away from him

“Shit, sorry Kurt, I guess I should have asked instead of just assuming you would want to go with me,” Blaine said looking at him hoping he would want to come but understanding if he doesn't

“No, that's fine I would love to go with you,” Kurt said, leaning over and kissing him.

Within an hour, the representatives from St. Jude were there. He showed them the awards. He had taken his out and moved them to the bedroom. Even though he didn't plan on staying in show business, he planned on keeping his awards. Who knows, maybe Sere will want them one day. He shows them to the bedroom and to Bryce's closet, and also hands them the photo album. He told them they could keep whatever they wanted and do whatever they wanted to with the rest. Blaine signed the form they handed him, where he was stating that everything in the collection had belonged to Bryce Mitchell. They could make several copies to put with the clothes that didn't have pictures showing Bryce wearing them. He then went back into the living room and signed the glossies they had brought of him so that they could auction them off as well.

“Thank you so much for your generosity. This will go a long way to help us reach our goal this year. We’re just sorry we’re getting everything under the circumstances we are. Thank you once again, Mr. Anderson. We apologize for your loss,” Mrs. Baker said as she shook his and Kurt's hand, and then they were walking out the door.

Blaine already felt better. He had just gotten rid of everything that Bryce had left here. It would be nice to come home and not have to look at it anymore.

“One down, three more to go,” Blaine said with a sigh. It was almost over.

He pulled Kurt into his arms and just held him. He had made everything so easy. Blaine doesn't know how he would have handled it without him. Then he has a thought.

“Kurt, do you still have your passport?”

A/N: Song in this chapter is The Sound of Silence By Disturbed


	15. New York

oOoOo

Blaine was going back to New York. The one place he never thought he would go again. The place he had once been happier than he had ever been in his life. Blaine had been with Kurt, he was going to NYADA, he was engaged to the love of his life, they were living together, and where a family of their own. But one night it had ended, the happiness New York had once filled him with had been taken away, now he didn't know what he would find, how he would feel when he went back.

"No, sweetheart, I'll meet you there. I need to take Sere to mom. She said she would watch her for a few days since I don't know what I will be facing at the apartment," Blaine said, pulling Kurt into his arms.

If he was honest, yes, Kurt could go with him to his mom's so he could drop Sere off and then the both of them could go from there to New York together, but the last time Blaine flew to New York he had been with Kurt, and that whole experience hadn’t ended well.

It had been right after his graduation, and even though Blaine knows he shouldn't think about it, he remembers how Kurt had been acting odd even then. All the warning signs had been there, but Blaine had either not recognized them, or had just ignored them. He had noticed something off after April commented on teen marriage. Sue Sylvester had finally won, and the glee club at McKinley was shutting down for good. All the old glee club members had come back to say their goodbyes, including April Rhodes. She had been talking to Kurt and Blaine and made an off the wall comment about how most teen marriages ended in divorce. After that, Kurt didn’t seem like himself for a while but seemed to bounce back, at least until they were on the plane. Kurt had been quiet most of the flight, he had just seemed off, but by the time they landed, he seemed to be back to normal, all seemed right in their world again.

Something about getting back on a plane with Kurt right now scared him. He didn't want to jinx something that had just started again. Blaine knew it was something he had to work through if he and Kurt were ever going to work, but right now, he just thought it would be easier for Kurt to head home, and then Blaine would meet him there in the morning. His original plan had been going to New York today, but decided to go tomorrow, so he could talk to his parents and let them know about him and Kurt reconnecting. Once they were done in New York, Blaine wanted to go to Lima and talk to Burt, if Kurt was ok with that. He wanted their families to know what was going on with them before the public found out.

"I don't mind going to Westerville with you, Blaine, and then we can just fly out together," Kurt said, looking at him, not really understanding, not wanting to leave him so soon after getting back together. Kurt didn't know what, but something felt wrong with Blaine, and he didn't like it.

"I know you don't mind, but I need to talk to dad and check on the adoption situation anyway. I'll spend the night there, I'll call you when I land in the morning, and then we can go from there," Blaine said, placing a soft kiss on the sweetest lips he had ever seen. He was going to miss him.

"Are you ok, Blaine?" Kurt asked, looking at him, but what he really wanted to ask was, were _they_ ok, not liking this feeling at all. Kurt finally understood how Blaine had felt all those times he had done this to him. Kurt felt like Blaine was somehow pulling away from him, and he hated it, he hated this.

"I'm fine, Kurt, I promise. I just want to get her settled with mom and talk to dad for a few minutes. I’ll be back with you first thing in the morning," Blaine said, looking down into the eyes of the person that had made him the happiest man in the world and the person that had also torn him apart more than he ever thought possible. He loved having Kurt back in his life, loved being able to hold him again, but was still a little scared. That was something he was going to have to work through.

"Ok, if you are sure," Kurt said, trying his best not to break down.

"Come on, sweetheart. Everything is going to be fine. I promise," Blaine said, kissing him again, pulling him close, not wanting to let him go, but knowing that he needed to. He needed some time to think. He had rushed into relationships before, and he didn't want to rush this one. This one meant too much to him. This one was too important. This time it had to be done right.

They had spent a really good night together. After the people from St Jude had come and picked everything up, they had gone out and ate dinner at one of Blaine's favorite restaurants, and then had come back to his apartment. After he had bathed Sere and put her to bed, they had spent the night cuddled up on the couch watching their favorite movies until neither one of them could hold their eyes open any longer. Blaine was back in his happy place. After the movie had gone off, after checking on Sere one more time, Blaine went back into the living room and pulled out the couches hide-a-bed, and they had snuggled up together all night, Kurt back where he was always supposed to be, back in Blaine's arms.

When Blaine had woken up the next morning, something had just felt off, what he didn't know. He gently pulled away from Kurt, a smile on his face, happier than he had been in a long time, but then the doubts had started flooding in. He sat on the side of the bed, thinking. He knew he had made the right decision letting Kurt back into his life, back into his heart, he needed _Them_, Blaine needed it to breathe, but he also knew he needed to get his head on straight. The thought of flying into New York with Kurt again, for some reason, had scared him, and until he figured out why he needed to do it alone.

"I'm going to go pack for Sere and me, and then we can go to the airport together," Blaine said, giving Kurt another kiss and then pulled away walking into his bedroom to get his carry-on. He quickly packed enough clothes for himself for a few days and then goes into the baby's room and packs for her.

"Hello, my sweet baby girl, are you ready to go see Nana and Pops?" Blaine asked, picking her up out of her crib, placing kisses all over her face until she giggled. If nothing else in his world was right, this at least was perfect. Blaine changed her clothes, picked up their bags, and headed back into the living room. While he had been gone, Kurt had put the bed away and had straightened up. This made Blaine smile.

"I'm going to get her a bottle and feed her, and then we can head out," Blaine said, walking up to Kurt placing a kiss on his cheek.

"Do you want me to hold her while you make her a bottle?" Kurt asks quietly, looking at Blaine, wondering what he would say. At one time in Blaine’s life, Kurt had been his center. Now Blaine’s world revolved around Sere, and Kurt needs to figure out where he fits into it now. If he had any hope of being part of Blaine’s world again, he needs to get to know Sere. Kurt knew Blaine might one day decide to walk away from him, but he would never walk away from her.

"Are you sure?" Blaine asks with his heart jumping in his chest, Kurt had never asked to hold her before, had never really had any interaction with her.

"I’m positive," Kurt said with a grin, reaching out as Blaine gently passes Sere to him. Kurt wonders if she’ll cry, being held by a stranger, but she just looked up at him and giggled. He could do nothing but laugh before walking with her to the couch. Sitting down, looking down into the face that looked so much like Blaine's, Kurt was lost. In that instant, that little girl stole his heart, and he never wanted it back. He suddenly realized why Blaine had done what he did. For that little girl, Kurt suddenly knew he would happily try to give her the world.

Kurt raises her up so that she was snuggled better in his arms and started singing to her softly. Blaine had to listen closely to hear what song he had chosen.

_Pretty, pretty please  
Don't you ever, ever feel  
Like you're less than  
Less than perfect_

Blaine could do nothing but smile, standing there watching as the two most important people in his world connected. Watching as Kurt sang that song to his daughter, the song that had always been _their _song, and watching as Sere looks at Kurt grinning, had Blaine's heart swelling until it felt like it was going to explode.

With a smile on his face, Blaine walks into the kitchen and heats a bottle for Sere and then carries it into the living room to Kurt. "Do you want to feed her?" Blaine asks softly, holding his breath, waiting for a response. Sere would always come first in his life, and if she and Kurt couldn’t connect, Blaine knew they really didn’t have a chance.

"Yes, I would," Kurt said with a big grin spreading across his face.

Blaine hands Kurt the bottle and then sits on the couch beside him, placing his arm across Kurt's shoulder. Blaine watches and listens to Kurt as he feeds Sere, softly whispering to her words that Blaine can't make out, smiling down at her the whole time. Blaine watches as a connection forms between them, and in that instant, he knew they were going to be ok. His family was finally whole. After Sere finished her bottle, they head to the airport. Kurt, to fly back to New York and Blaine on to Ohio. Blaine walks with Kurt as far as the security check-in and then pulls him into his arms, gently kissing him, missing him already.

"I'll call you when my plane lands in the morning, and we can figure out what to do then," Blaine says and then places a kiss on Kurt's cheek.

"Will you call me later?" Kurt asks, not looking at Blaine. For some reason, this feels like a goodbye to Kurt, and he didn’t like the feeling at all. 

"Of course I will, " Blaine says, putting his finger under Kurt’s chin and gently pushes up so that Kurt has to look at him. “Kurt, is everything ok?" Blaine asks, looking at him, now worried.

"I don't know, but for some reason, I feel like I am losing you again," Kurt answered, finally voicing his concerns. He was scared to death that Blaine was going to decide that they wouldn't work after all. They hadn't reconnected like they had in the past. Last night they had shared kisses and cuddles and nothing else. Kurt had expected more, had longed for more.

Blaine brought both of his hands up to frame Kurt’s face. "Kurt, you’re not losing me. I can't live my life without you in it again. I just got you back. Am I worried about us? If I’m honest, yes. If things go bad between us again, this time, it's not just you and me that could potentially get hurt. Now I have a little girl to worry about. But Kurt, I feel like we have this. If I didn’t, I wouldn't have gotten back with you. But I was thinking this morning that I have a habit of jumping into things too quickly, like our engagement. Do I regret asking you to marry me, no, but I think it would have been better to have waited a little longer. We had been back together all of three days when I asked you, after being separated for almost six months. We should have taken our time, and that was my fault."

"I jumped into a marriage, that other than bringing me Sere, was the worst mistake of my life. We are too important, Kurt, to rush. We need to get to know each other again. Do I know I love you? Yes. Do I know that I’ll love you for the rest of my life? Yes. But do I know what tomorrow is going to bring us? No, and that scares me a little. I want to rebuild us, Kurt. Rebuild our relationship, not just jump into it, but take our time. We are so worth it," Blaine said before leaning in and kissing Kurt one more time.

Kurt stood there, looking at Blaine. He understood, he really did, but it was still scary to think about. What if Blaine decided that it was too much trouble? Was that something Kurt could live with? All he knew was that he had no choice but to try. A life without Blaine wasn't an option. If the first breakup hadn't taught him that, then the last one had.

Once Kurt walked through security and out of Blaine's sight, he turned and headed to his own gate, missing Kurt already. When Blaine's plane lands in Ohio, he gets a cab to his parent's house, when it pulls up outside, he looks up and sees his mom walking out the front door with a smile on her face, he smiles back, glad to be back home. He pays the driver and unbuckles Sere's car seat and walks towards her. She hugs him and then walks with him inside.

"Dinner is ready. Come on, we’ll eat, and then we can talk," Pam said, reaching out and taking the car seat from Blaine and sitting it on the couch before unbuckling Sere and picking her up. The three of them walk into the dining room to join his dad, his mom talking to the baby the whole time. His dad stands up, hugs him, and they eat dinner, talking, enjoying their time together, once they finish eating, they all head into the den.

"Ok, I have something I want to talk to you about. As you know, Kurt and I started talking again right after Bryce died. He’s been there for me when I needed someone to talk to, and I realized that I still love him, that I never stopped loving him. I’ve missed him being in my life so much. He was my best friend and still is. He was always the one person I could talk to about anything, the one person who completely understood me, and to be honest, I’ve just felt lost without him. We’re working on us again, to see if we can finally get it right. I needed you both to know that we’ve gotten back together. This is something that’s very important to me, and I just hope you can support me, well _us_ in this,” Blaine finished, looking at his parents. They had always supported him, and he hopes they will on this. He needs them as much as he needs Kurt.

"Blaine, do you think that’s a good idea after everything that’s happened, everything he’s put you through?" his mom asked, looking at him worried "I don't want to see you get hurt again.

"Mom, we both messed up, we both made mistakes in our relationship. I think we needed the time apart to show us how much we _do_ love and need each other," Blaine answered her

"Son, are you sure you aren't jumping into this because you just lost Bryce? I know what he turned out to be, what he put you through, but you cared enough about him to marry him. Are you sure you’re over him enough to think about getting into another relationship, or is Kurt just a rebound?" Michael asks him, looking worried.

"No, dad, Kurt could never be a rebound. Kurt has always been it for me, that never changed. To be honest, Bryce was my rebound from Kurt. I just felt so lost without him. Kurt was my anchor dad, and without him, I just felt like I was floating. Bryce helped with that. He was someone I could talk to, spend time with. Yes, I did start to care about him, he was my friend. I know how shitty this is going to make me sound, but, I only married him because of Sere. I never loved Bryce, but until I found out everything, how he felt about Sere and me, I thought we could make our marriage work. I fell so in love with Sere. I wanted to be her father. I knew right away, Bryce was in over his head with her. I could be there to help him, and I could adopt her,” Blaine answered his father. He knew how bad it all sounded, but he knows that if things had been different with Bryce, he would have stayed with him. Would he have always missed and loved Kurt? Yes. But Blaine still felt that if things could have been different, he and Bryce could have had a happy life together.

"I never got over Kurt. Yes, I was mad, and I was hurt, but once I got over that, I knew I still loved him. I know I shouldn't have married Bryce, he probably would have let me adopt Sere anyway, but I honestly thought we would be ok. The more often he was gone, though, the more time I was left alone with just the baby, I began realizing what I was missing. I was miserable. When he was home, we fought all the time. I knew that wasn’t a healthy environment to raise Sere in, but I had made a commitment to Bryce. I wanted to stick with it, and I tried, but the longer we were together, the harder it got. By the time he died, I was over it. I was tired of the fighting. The day Bryce left for Morroco, I spoke with a lawyer and filed for divorce. Bryce was going to be served when he got home. I was done, I had finally had enough,” Blaine said, looking at his parents, finally telling them.

“Why didn't you say something, Blaine?” his mom looked at him with a sad expression on her face, hating that he had gone through that alone.

“I felt like a failure, mom. I couldn't even hold my marriage together for six months. I hated the idea of having to tell you, but I knew after that first month what a mistake I had made. I started off having some feelings for him, but by the end, to be honest, I hated him,” Blaine said, shaking his head softly.

“And you don't think getting back with Kurt will be a mistake?” Michael asked, standing up pacing in front of him, “He broke up with you twice, son. He hurt you twice, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive him for that.”

Crap, they were going to make him tell them everything. He looked at them, knowing it was finally time to tell them something he had hoped he would never have to tell.

“Kurt had a good reason for the first break up,” Blaine said, not able to look at them. He stood up and walked over to the window, and looked out for a minute, trying to brace himself for the story, he had to tell them, and for their disappointment in him when they heard everything he had to say.

With a deep breath, Blaine turns to face them. “When Kurt first went to New York, he got really busy with school and Vogue. I took it that he was pulling away from me. I was so used to seeing him and talking to him every day, and all of a sudden, it was like he didn’t have time for me anymore, that he didn’t want me. I was wrong. He just hadn't figured out how to juggle everything yet, school, work, new friends, and this exciting new life he had. I started feeling like I was holding him back. Why would he want to waste time on someone who was still in high school when he could have anyone he wanted. Instead of me going to New York and making him talk to me, I cheated on him,” Blaine said, looking first at his mom and then his dad.

“You What?” Pam and Michael asked at the same time, looking at him, shocked.

“Yes, I’m the reason for the first break up. Kurt had every reason to break up with me. I broke not only his trust, but worse, I broke his heart. Remember, back in high school, when I told you I needed to go to New York, I needed to talk to Kurt? That’s what that was about. I had never lied to him before, and to me, keeping quiet about what I had done would have been the same as lying to him. So yes, he had every right to break up with me, and I was honestly surprised when he agreed to take me back.”

“As for the second break up, that was a combination of things. When Kurt came back to Lima when we were closing out glee, one of the old members had commented on how that’s what the world needed, another teen marriage that would end in divorce. I didn't think any more about it. I knew Kurt was it for me. I would never need anyone else but him. What I didn't realize was that Kurt was having doubts of his own. He didn't know if we were ready. He got nervous, and instead of talking to me, because he was worried I would get mad at him, he just kept going along with everything and holding everything in. He didn’t know how to tell me that maybe we should wait. I just kept planning everything, not realizing he was feeling trapped. We weren’t communicating, he still hadn’t figured out how to tell me he wanted to postpone the wedding, so instead, he ended us. He said he regretted it right after he had done it, that he waited at home for me that night so we could talk it out, but I didn't go home. I stayed at a motel. I didn't answer his calls or texts. I couldn't talk to him then, I was just so angry and hurt. I waited until he was at school the next day, and I went in and packed everything up and came home.”

“We’ve both hurt each other, and both made mistakes, but I know in my heart that he is it for me, and has been since I was sixteen years old. I can't see my life without him in it, and to be honest, I don’t ever want to have to again,” Blaine said with everything he had, never meaning anything more.

Pam and Michael look at each other for a few minutes quiet and then looked at Blaine “If that is how you feel we will support you,” Pam said walking over and hugging him

“Thank you, that means a lot. He’s really important to me,” Blaine says softly, feeling so much love for his parents, not realizing until that moment just how much their support meant to him.

“Then he is important to us,” Michael said, pulling him into a hug, and then the three of them sat back down.

“Have you heard anything more from the Mitchell's or their lawyer?” Blaine asked his dad feeling nervous.

“Not about Sere. The only thing I’ve heard from the lawyer was that the Mitchells wanted me to convince you to sign their house over to them. I advised their lawyer, that number one, the house was legally yours, and number two, you wouldn’t be changing your mind. I told him your decision on the house had been made and that I supported that decision, especially after the way they acted at the reading of the will. He did say that the Mitchells were trying to get everything packed up,” Michael said with a smile. He had never taken an instant dislike to someone like he had the Mitchell's.

“Good deal, after checking out the apartment in New York, I need to go talk to Burt Hummel. I want me and Kurt to be the ones to tell him and Carol that we are back together. I don’t want them reading about it in the tabloids. I guess after that, I can fly back to California and check on the Mitchells and see how close they are to getting moved out. I still can’t believe Bryce left that house to me and not his parents. Once I check that out, I need to fly back to London and go through Shey’s stuff and clean the apartment out. I guess I need to put it on the market. I don’t see me needing it. Do you think the solicitor we used to create our prenup would be able to help with selling it?” Blaine asked

“No, son, I don't. Why don't I reach out to Shey's lawyer? I still have his contact information. I can ask him. He’ll probably know more about it anyway,” Michael answered.

“Ok, that’ll work, I need to get it taken care of and then the apartment in Paris. I have no idea what to do with it. Do I sell it sight unseen, or do I go there and check it out first?” Blaine said, running his hands through his hair.

“Why don't you make that decision, based on the one in New York. See what kind of shape it is in and then go from there. What are you going to do with Sere while you are gone?” Pam asked, looking down at the baby in her arms, with a soft smile on her face.

“I figured I would take her with me, why?” Blaine asks, looking at her.

“Well… with all the packing and everything it might be hard to keep up with her, you are going to be busy,” Pam said with a smile on her face.

“Mom, do you want to watch Sere while I am gone?” Blaine asked, laughing.

“Well, I could do that if you would like me to,” She said, giving Blaine an innocent grin, letting him know that was exactly what she was wanting

“That would be perfect if you didn't mind, I’d need to go home and get her some more clothes. I only packed for a few days,” Blaine said, looking at her.

“Wwweeellll, I might have assumed that that was what you would want to do, and I may or may not have gone shopping for her some clothes and diapers and toys, and also I might have turned your brother's old room into a nursery,” Pam said grinning at him.

“What is Cooper going to do when he comes home?” Blaine asked her, laughing.

“Oh, he can always stay in the den downstairs, ” she said, having it all figured out.

“Mom, you are a nut, and he is going to kill you,” Blaine said, shaking his head, but unable to keep the smile off of his face. She had made sure that Sere always had a place in her home, and that meant so much to Blaine that she loved his little girl that much.

“Well, baby girl, let's go see what nana has done, shall we?” Blaine said, taking the baby from her “Thanks mom… for everything,” kissing her on the cheek.

He walked upstairs and opened the door of the room that had once been Cooper's. It had been repainted a shell pink. The crib, rocking chair, and changing table that had been set up originally in his room had been moved into what was now Sere's room. He noticed that a matching dresser had been added, and it was full of little girl clothes in various sizes. Stuff that would fit her now, and stuff she would grow into, his mom had thought of everything, even had the room filled with various stuffed animals and toys. She had been planning on watching the baby while he was gone. He just didn't know if he would be able to be away from her that long.

He figured between New York, London, and Paris, he would probably need two weeks, and the way Sere was changing almost daily, he didn't know if he would want to be gone that long, miss that much. He sat down in the chair with her and started rocking, holding her close.

“Do you promise daddy, not to grow up too much while I am gone?” Blaine asked, placing a small kiss on top of her little head, leaving her for a few days was one thing, but a few weeks would kill him, but he needed to do what was going to be best for her as well. She would be on airplane after airplane, having to sit in her car seat while he tried to get everything taken care of.

He knows leaving her here with his mom was the best option, just not the one he was really happy with. Here she would be able to be comfortable, and he knew that if she were with him, he would want to spend time paying attention to her instead of what he needed to get done. He also didn't know what kind of situation he was going to find with either place except Shey's. He knew he only had one real option. That didn’t mean he had to like it, though.

Still holding Sere, Blaine pulls out his phone and calls Kurt, needing to talk to him, needing to reconnect.

oOoOo

Blaine missed Kurt that night, they had only spent one night together, but it was something he knew he could get used to again, wanted to get used to again. Just holding Kurt in his arms all night. The next morning, Blaine dressed with care, wanting to look his best when he saw Kurt again. He dressed in a black button-down shirt, a pair of black skinny jeans, and his favorite doc martens. Spraying a little of his favorite, cologne on and he was ready to go. He had been wearing the same scent since his junior year in high school. Kurt had bought him that brand for his birthday that year. He remembered Kurt had said he loved the way it smelled on Blaine, and he had been wearing it ever since. Blaine grabbed his suitcase, making sure he had repacked everything and then made his way down to the kitchen to say goodbye.

“Thanks for watching her for me, if I knew what was going on with the apartment, I would take her with me,” Blaine said hugging her, before reaching out for Sere and pulling her into his arms.

“You don't have to thank me, Blaine. I love having her here, plus I think you are right. You don't know what kind of condition the apartment is in since the lawyer said that Bryce had bought it as an investment. He wasn’t even sure if Bryce had ever been there. It might just be an empty apartment that will need work. It’s better to leave her here where you know she’ll be comfortable, and I promise I will take good care of her.” Pam said, looking at Blaine. She was so proud of the man he had become, what a good dad he was.

“I know you will, mom. I never had a doubt. But you’re wrong in one thing. I do need to thank you for watching her for me. It means a lot to me to know that I can leave her and know she’s going to be taken care of,” Blaine says, leaning in and kissing his mom on the cheek and then looks down at Sere.

“So my baby girl, are you going to be good for daddy?” Blaine said, holding Sere close, missing her already. “Don't do anything extraordinary while I’m gone, and can’t be here to see it ok? Promise me.” Blaine whispers, holding Sere just a little tighter for a few more minutes until he hears the honking of the cab he had called. “Love you, ” he says, kissing her little cheek and then passes her to Pam again. He picks up his suitcase, turns around, looks at his mom and Sere one more time, he says goodbye and is walking toward the door, his heart is already hurting, and he hasn’t even left yet.

When his plane touches down at LaGuardia, he slowly makes his way to the door. He had told Kurt when he talked to him last night that he would meet him at his loft in Bushwick instead of at the airport, not really sure what he would face there. The first newsstand he passes sends chills down his spine because there, on the front page of almost every newspaper, was a picture of him and Kurt kissing at the airport yesterday.

“Shit,” Blaine says, looking at the headlines.

**Has Blaine Anderson already found a new love?**

**Was he able to get over golden boy Bryce Mitchell so quickly?**

**Who is the new mystery man, and was he already in the picture before Bryce's sudden death?**

**Check out Blaine's new cutie, who is this mystery man? **

**What has he done with poor Sere while he is seducing this new man?** And on and on, picture after picture.

Blaine stands there looking at the different headlines, running his hands through his hair. He had never wanted to bring Kurt into this shit storm. Blaine slips on his sunglasses and tries to get out of the airport unnoticed, but the minute he saw flashes going off, he knew that wasn't happening. He finally makes it through the crowd and to a cab, he quickly gives the driver Kurt's address and then sits back, wondering how Kurt was going to handle this.

When Blaine gets to Kurt’s apartment, he takes the freight elevator to Kurt's floor, walks to the door, and knocks, wondering what he was going to find inside. Blaine had been in a really good mood. He was seeing Kurt again, he had really missed him. During his time at his parent's house, Blaine had figured a lot of stuff out. He knew in his heart he was ready to proceed. Yes, he still wanted to take things slow, but he wanted them to move forward with their relationship if that was what Kurt wanted to do as well.

Now he wondered if Kurt was going to find it too much, was being with him going to be too hard. There was nothing like living in a fishbowl. Blaine had hoped that after the funeral, he would soon fade out of the public eye, he guesses he had been wrong in that.

When Kurt opens the door, Blaine reaches out and pulls him into his arms, holding him close, whispering, “I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” over and over in his ear.

Kurt quickly pulls away so that he could look at Blaine, wondering what he is talking about, what has he done to be sorry for? Kurt suddenly has flashbacks of the last time Blaine had said those same words. “What are you sorry for, Blaine?” Kurt asks with a stiff voice, waiting to hear the worst.

“I'm sorry I got you into this, Kurt, and I'll understand if you want to back off,” Blaine said, hoping he doesn't but would completely understand if he did.

“Ok, Blaine, I'm still lost. Once again, what are you saying you’re sorry for? What’s going on?” Kurt said, feeling nervous. Blaine had sounded fine when they talked on the phone last night.

“You haven't seen the paper yet this morning?” Blaine asks, looking at Kurt. When he still lived here, Kurt had had the paper delivered every morning. He loved looking at the style and leisure section.

“No, why?” Kurt asks, looking at Blaine even more confused.

“Someone got a picture of me kissing you at the airport yesterday and apparently thought that was front-page newsworthy. It’s on the front page of every newspaper known to man. Kurt, your dad’s going to see that, and I wanted us to be the ones to tell him,” Blaine said, walking over to what he had always thought of as his window.

Kurt walks over to his laptop and brought up his home page, and yup, there was a picture that clearly shows Blaine kissing someone. Kurt's face hadn't been visible in the picture taken, but anyone who knew Kurt and Blaine would know it was them.

Kurt looks at Blaine with a soft smile on his face, walking over to him and waiting for him to turn around to face him. “Don't worry about it, Blaine. They'll soon move on to the next big story. This isn't anything to worry about. This isn't your fault.” Kurt said, wrapping his arms around Blaine’s neck, leaning in to kiss him.

“You’re not mad?” Blaine asks, finally able to breathe again.

“What do I have to be mad about? I was kissing you as much as you were kissing me. This isn’t your fault Blaine,” Kurt says before hugging Blaine a little closer.

“I wish we had had time to tell Burt and Carol we were back together first. I hate that they’re going to find out this way,” Blaine says, pulling Kurt into his arms, laying his head on Kurt's shoulder. Burt had always been like a second father, and he had once told Blaine that he thought of him as a second son.

Kurt just smiles at him sheepishly, “Oh, I already told them, and dad expects us for Friday Dinner,” Kurt said with a big grin on his face.

“You told him?” Blaine asks, laughing, pulling Kurt a little closer to him.

“Well, you were telling your parent’s sooo, I told mine,” Kurt said, kissing Blaine again.

“Have I told you yet, how very much I love you?” Blaine asks, feeling like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

“Hmm, maybe,” Kurt says, kissing Blaine on his neck, right where he knew Blaine was the most sensitive. “But it never hurts to hear it again” Kurt managed to get out before Blaine's lips were on his, kissing him until he can no longer breathe and no longer cares. It had been so long, and he was so turned on.

Blaine slowly pulls back a little, having trouble controlling his breathing. “Slow, we’re taking this slow,” Blaine said before pulling Kurt back into his arms and kissing him again. Holding him closer, needing him so very badly, feeling just how much Kurt needed him. He leans his forehead against Kurt's, trying to catch his breath, and trying to get himself back under control. When he can finally think again, he steps slightly away

“Do you want to go with me to see what kind of fresh hell I am going to have to deal with today?” Blaine asks, softly running his hand up and down Kurt's cheek, never taking his eyes off of him.

Kurt breathes deeply before exhaling slowly, “Yeah, let's go see what we can find.”

Blaine looks at him for a minute and then places a soft kiss on his lips, reaching out to take his hand and guide him outside. They manage to get a cab almost immediately without having to call one first. Blaine gives the driver the address where they are going and sits back in the seat, holding Kurt's hand, running his thumb over Kurt's knuckles. Still wanting him so bad, if they hadn't left when they did, Blaine knew he would have acted on those feelings, but he knew they weren't there yet. They needed to talk.

The driver pulled up in front of a very nice 16 story building in an influential part of New York. It wasn't what Blaine had expected at all. Blaine had his key to the apartment that Mr. Garrison had given him before he left the day of Bryce's funeral. He had been given a set of keys for each apartment and one for the house in California. Because he had never been there, Blaine went to the reception desk, told them who he was, and showed them his id. He was then pointed to an elevator slightly to the right of the others. The apartment was on the 16th floor and what Blaine hadn't known until he stepped in that elevator, was that it was the penthouse apartment. On the key chain with the apartment key was one for the elevator as well. When he inserted and turned the key, it started moving up.

When the elevator slowed, and the door opened, he was standing in one of the most beautiful spaces he had ever seen. The main wall when you walked into the apartment was floor to ceiling glass. The walls were painted a light sand color with white chair railing. The hardwood floors were a beautiful honey-gold color.

The furniture had been placed to highlight the beautiful view and over on the left side of the living room, was something that took Blaine's breath away, a shiny black grand piano. It fit so perfectly in front of those windows. Blaine could just imagine sitting there at night, playing while looking out those windows, and seeing the lights of New York outside. He imagined walking out the door in the middle of the wall and sitting on the balcony looking down.

He walked down the hall, noticing all the beautiful framed prints hanging on the walls. He opened the first door on the left and found a small room that had been set up as an office. A new computer still unopened in the box was sitting on the desk, furniture with tags still on them was placed nicely around the room.

Blaine opens the next door on the left and finds a decent-sized guest bathroom, a stack of fluffy towels and washrags sitting on the vanity. The next door, he opens on the left had been set up as a guest room, once again the furniture all still had their tags on them, the mattress was still wrapped in the plastic that it had been sold in. Walking further into the room, Blaine notices that on the bed, still in their packaging was a set of sheets, a comforter set, and a pair of big fluffy pillows. Even though the room looked like it had been decorated by a professional, nothing had been unwrapped and set up. Blaine shakes his head in confusion before moving on. 

The next door he came to was on the right side of the hall, and it was huge. This one room was the size of the other two bedrooms combined. It had an ensuite bathroom, with a massive walk-in shower that had a rain showerheads, and multiple shower jets located on the walls. The tile placed in it was a beautiful light coral color, with the bathroom walls painted a slightly darker shade of the same color.

The outside wall of the bedroom was once again as the living room, floor to ceiling glass with a door that opened onto a balcony. The windows were covered with sheer white curtains. The bed was a mahogany-colored sleigh bed with a fluffy white rug under it. Once again, just like every other room in the house, the mattress was still wrapped in the plastic, all the furniture still had their tags hanging on them, the bedding still in its packaging sitting on the bed. He opened the closet in the bedroom and found a massive walk-in that was as big as Sere's room at home.

Just like in the living room, the walls were a light sand color with the white chair railing. Above the bed was a print of a lighthouse. When Blaine looked at it closer, he found that it was a Thomas Kincaid. It was absolutely beautiful, and the colors in the print tied the colors of the bathroom and the bedroom together.

Walking back down the hall to the room off to the right side of the living room, Blaine finds that it had been set up as a home theater center. There were four recliners on different height platforms on either side of the room so that the people sitting in the back recliners would be able to see over the ones in the front, and still be able to see the screen. On the center wall, a projection screen and a surround sound system had been set up. In the corner of the right-hand wall was an old fashioned popcorn and soda vending machine. Old movie posters that had been framed and lined every available space on the wall. Whoever had set this room up had thought of everything.

Blaine reached out for Kurt’s hand as they walk out of the theater room, and into the last room of the house, they hadn't seen yet. The kitchen. On the countertops were boxes of kitchen supplies, pots, pans, baking sheets, dishes, and silverware. Nothing had been put away, which to Blaine seemed strange until he found a bill on the bar between the living room and the kitchen. The name on the bill was from a decorating firm here in New York. The bill was dated the day before Bryce had been killed. There was a breakdown of everything he had seen in the apartment. Everything had been placed and put in new.

Blaine pulls his phone out of his pocket and dials the number on the bill. The phone rang only twice.

“This is Cindy with Decorating You. How may I help you?” a sweet voice asks. Blaine looks at the bill in his hand and saw the note at the bottom saying, “I hope you like everything we did” and was signed by someone named Cindy.

“Hi Cindy, this is Blaine Anderson. Are you the one who did Bryce Mitchell’s apartment for him?” Blaine asks.

“Yes, sir, I am, ” she said very quietly.

“Did you get paid for your work yet?” Blaine asks.

“No, sir, we had just completed the job the day before we got notified of his passing. He was a really sweet man. I got to work with him personally. We spent a lot of time on the phone talking about what he wanted every room to look like, down to the color on the walls. He picked out everything in that apartment himself. It was funny that everything went perfectly, even though he never once stepped foot in the place. Mr. Anderson, I want to offer you my condolences. I’m so very sorry for your loss, ” Blaine heard the sadness in her voice.

“Thank you. I really appreciate that, and also the time you spent on the apartment for him. I have a question though, why does everything still have the tags on them, and why is everything in the kitchen is still in boxes?” Blaine questions.

“That is the way Mr. Mitchell said he wanted us to leave it. He said he had always wanted to live in a home with new stuff, where he got to take all the tags off. Where he pulled the plastic off of the mattresses, he wanted to be the first person to run the washer and dryer. He wanted to be the one to unpack the kitchen and put everything where he wanted it,” She continued sadly.

“Ok, I understand,” Blaine said, meaning it more than he ever thought he would. He remembers when he moved into his first apartment in California, how excited he had been because he got to set everything up the way he wanted it. No longer living in somebody else's space, having things set up the way someone else wanted it, not the way he would have liked it. Kurt's apartment and the fight they had had crossing his mind.

“Thank you so much, Cindy. One more question, when did he hire you to do this?” Blaine asked, just wanting to know.

“He hired us almost a month to the day before he died. Mr. Mitchell told us to take our time, that he wouldn't need the apartment for at least a month. He said that was when his next film was scheduled to start shooting here in New York. I asked him why he was bothering to fix up a New York apartment when he was based out of California. He said that he already owned the apartment, that his real estate agent had bought it for him about a year ago. He went on to say that he hated living out of a suitcase in a motel, he might as well put the apartment to good use. The sad part is, he never even got to see just how beautiful the place was, even before we decorated it,” she says with a sigh.

“Thank you for everything you did for him, Cindy. I know he would have loved it. You guys did a wonderful job,” Blaine said, meaning it. Looking around the apartment, Blaine realized he and Bryce had more in common than he would have thought. The way the apartment was decorated was along the same lines as what he would have done, except the guest room would have been set up for Sere, and the office would have become an office, guest room combination. “I’ll get you a check in the mail in the morning. Thank you for all your hard work,” Blaine said before disconnecting the call.

After talking with Cindy, it hits Blaine, that Bryce had never been here. There were no bad memories associated with this apartment, and Blaine loved the place. He had already been thinking about moving, and New York was a lot closer to his parents and Kurt, of course. It could be a win-win. Walking around, Blaine can seem himself living here. The sad part about the apartment was that it showed Blaine that Bryce really had intended to leave Sere behind. When Blaine had read in Bryce’s journal about how he was going to divorce him and that Blaine could just keep Sere, he had doubted Bryce really meant it. Now, looking around the apartment, all his doubts were gone. There hadn’t been a single thing set up for Sere. She didn’t even have a room. That thought made him sad that Bryce could have so easily walked away from her.

“How long can I have you for? I know you said that you had two weeks, do you think that could be extended at all?” Blaine questioned.

“Well, Isabelle did comment on me getting you to do an interview,” Kurt said, looking at him.

Before Blaine could say anything else, his phone started ringing, Blaine pulled it out of his pocket and smiled when he saw who it was. “Hey, Dad, what's up?”

“Blaine, have you seen the newspapers yet this morning?” Michael asked

“Yeah, it was one of the first things I saw when I landed in New York, why what's up?” Blaine asked, now starting to feel nervous.

“I heard from the Mitchell's lawyer this morning. They are going to fight for custody. They say because of your lifestyle, you aren't fit to raise their granddaughter,” Michael said, and Blaine could hear the anger in his father's voice.

“WHAT, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me right now,” Blaine said so beyond mad

“I wish I was. The Mitchell’s filed suit this morning. They want access to all the money that was left to Sere through Shey. They’re asking for her adoption to be negated,” His dad continued.

Blaine went and sat down on the couch, his head in his hands, “How is that even possible?” Blaine asked just above a whisper.

“Son, they were having you followed from the day you married Bryce. They said in the papers they filed that they thought you were cheating on him,” Michael said in disbelief.

“Dad, I swear to you that I never did. I never did that,” Blaine said, so in shock, he could barely think.

“Blaine I talked to one of the reporters that were following you. The one that actually got the picture of you kissing I’m assuming Kurt. She was paid $10000.00 for that picture, they plan on using it as proof,” Michael continued

“Dad, they’ll be able to trace it, they’ll have to see I haven't been back in New York once since Kurt and I broke up,” Blaine responded, not believing this was happening.

“I know, son, but yesterday when you were at the airport kissing Kurt, you were on your way here, not New York,” Michael said.

“Shit, now what?” Blaine asked, feeling like he was going to break down. Thankful that Kurt had come and sat down beside him, pulling him into his side.

“We file a countersuit, and we take them for everything they have,” Michael answered, and Blaine could tell just how angry his father was.

“I don't need their money, dad, and even if I did, they don't have anything anyway,” Blaine responded

“That is where you are wrong, Blaine. I have been working with Bryce's lawyer. He had some information for us, ” Michael said, and Blaine could almost hear the smile in his voice.

“Ok, dad, is that even legal? Attorney-client privilege and all that?” Blaine asked, confused about how Bryce's lawyer could help them.

“Yes, it is legal, right after the two of you got married, Bryce asked Mr. Garrison to look through his finances, old contracts signed on his behalf by the Mitchell’s when he was too young to do so himself. I don't know if he thought something was up, or just knew his parents. He also told Mr. Garrison that if he ever came across something that didn't look right, that if Bryce wasn't available, then he was to call me as your lawyer. Mr. Garrison got it in writing, and Bryce never rescinded it.” Michael continued.

“Ooookkk, so what did he find, and how will it help us?” Blaine asked, starting to get a little interested.

“Well, it would seem that a lot of the movies and shows that Bryce was in when he was younger, had a contract signed that earned him royalties every time the movie or TV show aired. From what I understood that at the time Bryce was in such high demand, the studios would have signed anything to keep Bryce working for them. According to Mr. Garrison, the studios have been paying those royalty checks, not to Bryce, but to his parents. The minute Bryce turned eighteen, the checks were supposed to be sent to him. Because his parents never updated the banking information, and Bryce didn’t know to do so, the Mitchells have been pulling in thousands of dollars every time one is re-aired,” Michael continued.

“Ok, what do we need to do?” Blaine asked, now getting pissed again.

“I got some paperwork together this morning as soon as I heard from Mitchell's lawyer. I just wanted to talk to you before I filed them in the morning. I say we sue them for defamation of character, slander, and conspiracy to commit fraud. In that journal, in Bryce's own handwriting, it says that he asked his dad before marrying you if it was legal, and Mr. Mitchell told Bryce yes. Bryce and his parents conspired to defraud you. We have proof, they have nothing,” Michael said, and Blaine could hear the happiness in his dad's voice.

“Dad, some of the things in that journal are very, VERY personal. You don't think I’ll have to show the whole thing do you?” Blaine asked, hoping that no one but him would ever see some of the things written in there. Blaine was embarrassed just thinking about it.

“No son, we just need a copy of the page where Bryce talks about what he and his dad discussed, and that should be good enough. If we’re lucky, they’ll settle out of court, and we won't even need that. But… even if they settle, we’re still going to make them turn over any monies they have earned off of the royalties since you and Bryce signed your wills. That money should have gone to Bryce, and therefore to you, or Sere anyway,” Michael said.

“Dad, what would you think about me doing an interview to tell my side of things?” Blaine had a sudden thought, two birds, one stone. Isabelle wanted an interview, and Blaine wanted Kurt for longer than two weeks, Win, win, and all of that.

“I don't see that being a bad thing, who were you thinking of doing it with?” Michael asked.

“Vogue and Isabelle Wright. That way I can control the commentary and tell my side of the story to people I know personally. People I know I can trust,” Blaine answered, looking at Kurt, leaning over, placing a soft kiss on Kurt's forehead.

“Go for it, son. Tell them as much or as little as you want. After all, we have the proof on our side, and they have nothing. Also, the results came back on the paternity test today. They prove I was Shey's dad. If you don’t mind, though, save that part for court if we end up there. I swear son they won't know what hit them,” His dad said, laughing before hanging up.

“So, Isabelle wants an interview with me, why don't you set it up, and I have a favor I want to ask you,” Blaine said with a big smile, he was going to give Vogue the only exclusive interview he would ever give. He was going to tell everything. If the Mitchell's were going to play, then he would play as well, only he played with bigger guns.

A/N: The song mentioned in this chapter was Perfect by Pink.


	16. To Tell The Truth

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews on my work.

oOoOo

Blaine and Kurt walked through the front door of Vogue, somewhere Blaine hadn't been in a long time, not since before him and Kurt had broken up. He had only been there a few times even then. Kurt had always said he wanted to keep his personal and professional life separate. Blaine hadn't understood it at the time but had gone along with it. After the breakup, Blaine had figured it was so that Kurt would have a place where he could get away. Blaine had never disturbed him here, even though more than once, he had wanted to.

They took the elevator to the tenth floor, and Blaine followed Kurt to Isabelle's office. After knocking, Kurt opened her door, and they walked in. Isabelle looked up, saw Blaine and jumped up out of her chair, and ran over to hug him. It had been a long time since she had seen him. She had joked with Kurt about getting Blaine to do an interview, but hadn't really expected he would do it. But now, according to what Kurt had said over the phone, Blaine was not only going to be doing an interview, it would be a Vogue exclusive. Vogue would be the only outlet that he would be speaking to. The potential revenue from that interview was mind-blowing. She had asked Kurt to bring him in right away before he had a chance to change his mind.

“Blaine, it is good to see you again. I wanted to offer you and your daughter, my condolences,” She said, hugging him just a little tighter before releasing him.

“Thank you Isabelle, that means a lot,” Blaine says with a small smile, not understanding why he was nervous all of a sudden. He had given red carpet interviews and hadn't felt a bit nervous, but for some reason with this one, he did. He knew he would be the one controlling the commentary this time, but that didn't change anything.

“Ok. Kurt said you wanted to do an interview with us. Before going in, can I ask what you are willing to talk about and what you aren't? I don't want to step on any toes,” She said before motioning him and Kurt to sit down and then walking around behind her desk and sitting back down, looking at them.

“I guess this is going to be a tell-all. I assume you saw the papers this morning. Well, I heard from my lawyer that there is going to be a lot more coming out, and I wanted to get in front of it. I want to tell my side before everything gets spun out of control. I was advised by my lawyer what I should or shouldn't talk about, but most of it is an open book,” Blaine answered her.

“When do you want to do this interview?” Isabelle asked, starting to get excited.

“To be honest as soon as possible. I know Vogue doesn't normally do this kind of interview, since you are mainly a fashion magazine, but with Kurt working here, I felt like this was a safe place, where I could tell my truth and not have to worry about my words being taken out of context or have words added that I never said,” Blaine said leaning forward looking at her.

“Ok, financial wise, how much are you wanting to get paid for doing this interview, “ she asked, getting right into the business aspect of this meeting.

“Absolutely nothing,” Blaine said “Well actually, let me rephrase that, I don't want anything financially for doing it. I don't know if Kurt has told you yet, but he and I have recently gotten back together, and yes, that is something you can print,” Blaine said, laughing, looking at Kurt, getting a nod in return.

“In Bryce's will, I was left an apartment here in New York, one in Paris and one in London. We have already checked out the one here, but I still have two more to go through. Kurt was really helpful when I was sorting through Bryce's stuff in mine and his apartment in California. I was at a complete loss as to what to do with everything, and Kurt stepped in and helped organize it all. I could use his help with the other two. Kurt said he has two weeks of vacation time he has put in for, but I don't know if that will be enough time to get everything done. I was hoping that you could give him another two weeks off to help me. I know he isn't one the people who normally does your interviews, but he could come with me, check out the places that were owned by Bryce, and write a piece on what we find. He could also do one about what we found here in New York.” Blaine stated.

“Blaine….?” Kurt said, looking at him in shock.

“Oh shit, Kurt. I meant to ask you, would you mind coming with me to London and Paris to check out the other two apartments?” Blaine said with a mischievous grin on his face, “I did ask if you still had your passport, remember…?”

Blaine had already had his passport from when he and his parents had gone to London for the first time, back before he had met Kurt. He had convinced Kurt to get a passport right after they had gotten engaged. When he and Kurt had first met, back when they were still just friends, Kurt had always talked about wanting to go to Paris one day. That is why he took French in school even though all his friends thought he was crazy for doing so. Blaine remembered that after they had become a couple, they had spent hours cuddled up with each other talking about all the places they wanted to one day visit, and Paris had always been at the top of Kurt's list. So the minute Kurt had agreed to marry him, Blaine had put plans in motion to take Kurt there for their honeymoon.

He had convinced Kurt to get his passport, without giving him a reason why. Blaine had wanted to surprise him. He had had it all planned out, he had checked out the different hotels in the area and knew the one he wanted to get for them. He had made a list of all the different places Kurt had talked about wanting to see and had planned on them exploring each and every one of them. When Kurt had started pulling away a little before their last break up, when Blaine always seemed to have time on his hands waiting for Kurt to come home, that was how Blaine would spend his time, figuring out where they would go. He would spend hours looking at web page after web page, making a list, mapping everything out.

“Ok, so you’ll give us an exclusive interview, plus a tour of the apartments you were left correct?” Isabelle asked.

“Yes, and all I ask is that Kurt gets an extra two weeks off to help with everything. I have no idea what the Paris apartment is going to be like. I have seen the London one briefly. We had to go in and get some stuff for Sere right after Shey died. There was so much stuff in there, and I have no clue what to do with any of it, or even where to begin,” Blaine answered.

“Would you be ok with us putting a written interview in the magazine and a recorded one for the Vogue website?” She asked, and Blaine could almost see the wheels spinning in her head.

“Yes, that’ll be fine. All I ask is that Kurt is allowed to look over the written interview before it is published. I trust you and your team Isabelle, but I trust Kurt more. I know he’ll keep my best interest at heart, not so much the interest of the magazine. Will that be acceptable to you?” Blaine asks, looking her in the eye.

“We can do that. If you would like, we can get started now,” Isabelle said, standing up.

“Ok, so we’ll do the interview with you today, and get it on the website tonight. We can then do a special publication run, so we could potentially have the magazine out tomorrow as well, instead of the day after the way it was scheduled. Would that work for you?” She asks, her head still spinning from the financial aspect.

Blaine looked at Kurt and then nodded his head. “As long as what we agreed on stands, and Kurt gets to look it over before it is published, then yes, that will be perfect,” Blaine answered, standing up and following Isabelle out of her office and into the makeup room. That was one part of ‘Always’ he definitely didn't miss. The feel of makeup caked on his skin. It was right up there with the hair gel he used to wear, he thought shaking his head.

“Kurt, I know you are off, but if we want to have any chance of this magazine being published tonight, I am going to need you to stay late to read over Blaine's interview, and then you can have a month off with pay. All I ask is that you take a lot of pictures of the apartments and how they look when you walk in. I would like to get Blaine's permission to send a camera crew into the apartment here in New York to take pictures of it.” Isabelle said, looking at Kurt.

“I think he’ll be ok with that. I can ask. You guys could be doing that while I’m looking over the interview, getting it ready for the press release,” Kurt responded.

“That’ll work, and Kurt, I’m really happy for the both of you. I know how much you have missed him and how devastated you were when you found out he was married. I have a question, is he really over Bryce enough to think about being in another relationship this soon?” she asked, looking at Kurt, not for the interview but because she cared about Kurt and didn't want to see him hurt again.

“That’ll be a good question for the interview, and to be honest, I believe you and the readers will be shocked. I am going to leave it there. That way, Blaine can say what he needs to say,” Kurt responded with a small smile.

Yes, Blaine was ready for the interview, but Kurt also knew how he felt. Blaine had entered that marriage, expecting it to last. That is just how Blaine is. When he started something like that, he was in it for the long haul unless given a reason. Kurt could sadly attest to that. He knows that if he hadn't pushed Blaine away, he would never have gotten caught up with either Eli or Bryce. He had caused Blaine a lot of pain and would spend the rest of his life trying to make that up to him. He was just glad that Blaine was giving him a chance to try. Kurt stood back and watched as Isabelle and Blaine sat down in chairs facing each other. Both, smiling for the cameras.

“Today, Vogue will be airing an exclusive interview with Blaine Anderson, the first one he has agreed to do since the death of his husband, Bryce Mitchell. We are excited to have you here with us today Blaine,” Isabelle said, starting the interview.

“It's nice to be here,” Blaine said with a small smile still feeling nervous, looking over at Kurt, seeing the look of love on his face, helped him to relax a little.

“So Blaine, tell us a little about yourself. What does the world not know about Blaine Anderson?” Isabelle asks with a smile and laugh.

“Well, I grew up in Westerville, Ohio. I have a wonderful set of parents that have been there for me every step of my life. They have been supportive of everything I have ever attempted. I have a wonderful older brother Cooper Drew, who was the reason I started acting, to begin with. I went to high school at Dalton Academy, where I was the lead vocalist for our school's glee club, The Warblers. I met a lot of amazing people there and made a lot of good friends. The school saved me in a way.” Blaine said, looking at Isabelle.

“In my sophomore year, a boy came to our school to spy on us. I don't know if it was our setlist he wanted or what, but I have to admit he was the cutest boy I’d ever seen in my life. He was amazing, and I couldn't stop myself from looking at him. I remember The Warblers had an impromptu performance that day. I was already running late, but I just couldn't let this guy get away. I couldn't let him just disappear, so I grabbed his hand and made him come with me. I remember running down the hallway, still holding his hand. It was the most magical feeling I had ever had in my life. Something told me this boy was special. I just didn’t know until later just how special he was. That day, we were singing Teenage Dream, and I couldn't keep my eyes off of him, I think I spent most of that performance singing to him. It took me a while to realize, but a very important relationship in my life started that day,” Blaine said with a faraway look on his face.

“Because of issues he was having at his old school, he ended up transferring to Dalton not long after that, and he quickly became my very best friend. He was there during one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. I won't go too far into it, but let's just say it involved the gap and a curly-haired blond, and we will leave it at that.” Blaine said, laughing, looking over at Kurt, seeing him just shake his head. “We ended up falling in love, or as my other friends would tell you, I finally got my head out of my ass and realized what had been right in front of me the whole time. He ended up transferring back to his old school towards the end of that year, and I transferred to be with him the next year,” Blaine said, looking at Isabelle, not really knowing how much backstory she wanted him to give.

“What happened to him?” she asks, looking at Blaine, already knowing the story of both breakups, but wanting Blaine only to give the story he wants to.

“We were in school together. It was my junior year in high school and his senior. We had our ups and downs that year, but mainly we were in love. We spent every moment we could together because I knew the moment he graduated, he would be moving here to New York. I knew I was going to be spending a year away from him, so I had to spend as much time with him as I could. We ended up pulling apart at the beginning of my senior year. We had issues that neither one of us handled very well. We broke up. It was a very sad time in my life. He was my first boyfriend, and to be honest, I always thought he would be my last. But there was hurt on both sides, mistakes made by both of us.” Blaine said, looking at Kurt.

“We were apart for about six months, and then we got back together. We were actually engaged for a while, but once again, outside forces pulled us apart, and we ended up breaking up again and ending our engagement. We were both living together here in New York, going to the same school. I don't know if we were spending too much time together or not enough, but before I knew what was happening, our engagement was off, and we were over again. That was one of the most painful moments of my life, to be honest, hearing words spoken that I hadn't expected. After that, I dropped out of NYADA and moved back home. I started working with my old glee club as a coach. I did that for a few months, and some things started happening, and I decided I needed a fresh start. I needed to get out of Ohio. I worked out a two-week notice and moved to California.”

“I had been there for two weeks when my brother called to tell me that Fox was starting a new show. Cooper convinced me to audition for it, and man was I surprised when I got it. I met Bryce on my first day on the set of South of Always. We hit it off. He was fun and easy to be with, and we became friends. As time went along, we became more. We ended up starting to date, and then he became my boyfriend. I started developing feelings for him. It wasn't love, let me say that up front, but I did care a lot about him. I had told him about my past relationship and where my heart still belonged. He was fine with that because he was in pretty much the same situation. He had feelings for me, but he said he knew he would never love me because his heart also belonged to an ex. We were the perfect couple. We were good together.”

“The night we aired the first episode of Always, Bryce had come home with me. About one in the morning, he got a phone call telling him that his ex-girlfriend had been in a horrible accident and that he was still listed as her emergency contact person. He was pretty much told that if he wanted to see her alive again, he needed to get to London as fast as possible. We were too late. She died about thirty minutes before we got there,” Blaine said, still remembering holding a shaking Bryce in his arms as he cried.

“Oh wow, Blaine, that’s so sad,” Isabelle said, looking at him.

“It was. Bryce was devastated. She had been the one he still loved. She was the one that still had his heart. I remember holding him as he cried, sitting on the floor of that hospital, wondering how I would have handled it if things had been reversed, and that had been the person I loved that had just died. I broke down with him,” Blaine said once again looking at Kurt.

“We sat there like that for about ten minutes, me just holding him while he cried, and then a nurse came in with this infant in her arms. That is how Bryce found out he had a daughter. When he and Shey broke up, she hadn't told him she was pregnant. She knew how Bryce felt about children. He was very upfront about the fact he didn't want kids. Bryce didn't want to be a father, and then he found out after she died that he was one. He was listed on the birth certificate as such. He had no clue what to do with this baby, and to be honest, after the first look at her, I fell in love. What was so funny looking at her, she could have been my daughter as much as Bryce's. She looked as much like me as she did him. It was like a combination of both of us.” Blaine said with a soft smile, thinking about his Sere.

Isabelle looked at him, shocked, “how is that even possible, ” she asked, looking at him.

“That is a long story that I will have to get back to you on. Maybe a second interview at a later date,” Blaine said with a grin.

“Ok, continue then,” Isabelle said with a small laugh.

“As I said, I fell in love with that little girl. I decided in that instant I wanted her to be mine. I wanted to adopt her. Bryce and I talked and decided to get married so we could be a family for Sere. Was it the smartest decision I have ever made in my life, no, but I didn't realize until later just how bad of a decision that was,” Blaine answered, looking at Kurt again.

“How long were you married before you realize something wasn't right?” Isabelle asked, looking at him. Feeling so bad for him, she always had liked Blaine. He always seemed to really love Kurt. Yes, there was the whole cheating thing while he was in school, but she knew that that had hurt him as much as it did Kurt.

“To be honest, a little over a month, we had to hang around London for a few weeks before we could get Sere's passport and bring her home. While we were there, everything seemed fine. We enjoyed spending time together as a family. It wasn't until we had been home for a while that things started falling apart. Right after getting married, we decided that since we now had Sere, if one of us had to be away on a shoot, the other person would just work locally, that way one of us would always be with her. Bryce started getting more and more work and started being gone more than he was home. He would come home for a night or two and then would be gone for a month. We were spending no time together at all, and the time we were together was usually spent arguing with each other,” Blaine answered, looking at her. He couldn't keep the sadness out of his voice, remembering how his marriage had fallen apart.

“I remember the night of the awards show that he showed up without you, was that part of the problem?” She asked him

“Yes, we had one of our worst fights that night. He came in at the last minute from the set he was working on. I thought he was going to come home, and we would show up together. I waited until the last minute and then decided to go alone. When I got there, he was already there. He hadn't even bothered to call me and let me know he was back in town. I decided that if he could show up alone, then I could be there alone as well. Usually, I walked up to him in situations like that, this time, I didn't. I figured if he didn't want to wait on me, I didn't want to wait on him. He got a little pissed at me.” Blaine said, looking at her, thinking that was a big understatement.

“Ok, during your performance with your old glee club, I heard you mention Nemo, and then when you won the first award, you mentioned Nemo again, and not Bryce. What was that about?” She asked, looking at him.

Blaine looked at Kurt for a moment and felt as tears filled his eyes, needing him to say it was ok to tell “their story” a story only they knew. Kurt looked at him for a minute and then slowly nodded his head.

Blaine turned his eyes back to Isabelle, absentmindedly playing with the bracelet he had on his wrist. “When I was with my first boyfriend, when I realized how very much in love with him I was, I called him my Nemo. He kind of laughed and asked me why I had called him that. We both loved Disney movies, but he still couldn't figure out why. I remember looking into his beautiful eyes and saying you are my Nemo. I finally found you, and I am never going to lose you. I’m never going to let you go. I will never have to find you again. It became a thing with us, he was my Nemo, but I ended up losing him after all. I guess in a way, when I said that that night I was trying to find him again. I knew my marriage was over, I wasn't trying to reconnect with my ex to hook back up with him, but because, before we even started dating, he was my very best friend, and I wanted him back in my life. I needed him in it again. I needed my friend.”

Isabelle just looked at him, not even knowing what to say. She knew who he was talking about. She had known he loved Kurt, but never realized until that moment just how much.

Blaine silently wiped a tear off of his cheek, looking at Kurt, feeling the hurt all over again, and watching as tears slowly ran down Kurt's cheeks. They had both hurt each other so much, but if Blaine could help it that would never happen again, Kurt was back in his life, and he wasn't going to let him go again.

“Do you need a break?” Isabelle asked, looking at Blaine, seeing him look over her shoulder to where she knows Kurt was standing, wishing that neither one of them had had to feel the hurt they were now going through.

“No, I'm ok, and, were are getting close to the end. Whew, ok now the not so nice part. After that show, Bryce and I really started falling apart. The night he left our apartment for the last time, I begged him to stay, to work on us, to spend time with Sere, to see if we could work things out. We had the biggest argument we had ever had, words were said on both sides, and he walked out of the door, slamming it behind him. After he left, I picked up Sere and went to see a divorce attorney. Our marriage was over; there was no way of fixing our problems if he wasn't willing to try. I officially filed for divorce that day.”

“This next part is tough to talk about. I always thought of myself as a smart person. I usually had pretty good judgment, but in this case, I was so, so far off base, it isn't even funny. I have only discussed this with my family and my friend. So bear with me,” Blaine says once again, looking up at Kurt, needing his support. Knowing he needed to say the next part didn't make it any easier to do so.

“The day I found out that Bryce had been killed on the set of his last movie, I, of course, got on the next flight to Morocco. I was devastated, thinking about our last argument, the last words I ever said to him. He was once my friend, and before the end, I almost hated him. I had to identify the body and then was taken to the set so I could pick up any personal effects he had left in his trailer. You wanna hear the funny part first, this morning I found out that Bryce's parents had been having me followed since the day I married him. They thought I was cheating on him, and they were trying to get proof of it. I never cheated on him, not once. I took my marriage vows very seriously.”

“You see, I had cheated on my first boyfriend, and that is why he broke up with me. I broke his trust and his heart. Yes, I only ever kissed the other guy, but that was still cheating,” Blaine said, looking at Isabelle.

“What…?” Kurt yelled.

“Cut…” Isabelle said, stopping the recording.

“Why didn't you tell me, why did you let me believe you had sex with Eli? Why didn't you tell me it was just a kiss?” Kurt said, crying, tears running down his face.

“Kurt, I tried to, but you wouldn't listen to me, remember you ran away after I told you about Eli and me, and then you wouldn't talk to me the next morning. I tried again to tell you when you came back to McKinley to watch us do Grease. I begged you to listen to me, and you just told me you didn't want to talk about it. That Rachel was right, that that wasn't your home anymore. When we got back together, it was an unspoken agreement that we would leave the past in the past,” Blaine said, looking at him.

“No, Blaine, No,” Kurt cried out, falling to his knees, breaking down.

Blaine was out of his seat in an instant and had Kurt in his arms, holding him, rubbing his back. “Shh Kurt sweetheart, don't cry. That’s over and done with. It's in the past, baby shh. We can't change it. We can only look forward to our future,” Blaine said, kissing him on his head, not letting him go.

“But Blaine, you don't understand. The night I broke up with you, that had a lot to do with it. I was nervous about whether or not we would make it. I thought about what April said about teen marriages ending in divorce, and then I thought about you cheating on me. I panicked, and I broke up with you. If I had only listened to you back then, none of this would have happened. I would never have broken up with you. You cheating on me shocked me to the core. If there was one thing in my life, I was sure of it was you. That you loved me, and that you would never hurt me. You were always my true constant, my rock, my everything. If you could cheat that easily, then what. I know I forgave you and agreed to the engagement. I honestly thought I had worked past it. That I could do it, I could marry you, but the closer the time came, the more it hit me, the more scared I became,” Kurt says, crying even harder, holding on to Blaine, like if he let go, he would sink.

“Kurt sweetheart, don't cry, please. It doesn't matter how I cheated. I still cheated. You had every right to feel the way you did. I destroyed your trust in me. I did the one thing I never thought I would do. I hurt the person I loved more than life itself, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make that up to you. Kurt, please, please don't cry,” Blaine said, pulling Kurt even closer, completely forgetting about Isabelle and the cameramen in the background.

Blaine gently pulled away from Kurt, bringing up his hands to frame his face, gently raising his head so that Kurt was looking at him. “I love you Kurt, now and always,” he whispered before placing a gentle kiss on Kurt's lips and then pulled him back to him again. They stayed like that for several minutes, just holding each other, helping each other heal.

“Ok, sweetheart, I'm going to finish this interview up so that you can help get everything uploaded and ready to print. When you’re done, meet me at the apartment, and we’ll talk. Ok?” Blaine whispered in Kurt's ear, kissing him one more time on the cheek and then walked back to his seat. With a nod from Isabelle, the cameras started recording again.

“Ok, so Bryce's family had me followed because they were sure I was cheating on Bryce. One of the reporters they had paid to follow me was the one who took a picture of me kissing my ex-boyfriend at the airport. The one paper printed ‘where was poor Sere, while I was chasing this other man.’ If they had been paying attention, they would have seen that she was in the stroller in front of me. I was taking her to my mom to watch for me so I could check out the apartments.”

“I didn't know what situation they might be in and wanted to leave her somewhere that I knew she would be safe and have everything that she needed. Anyway, I never did, nor would I have cheated on Bryce. I wasn't happy with our relationship true, but I had seen first hand what cheating could cause, and it wasn't worth it. I spoke with a lawyer like I said, I was going to divorce him, not cheat on him.”

“Now, the not so funny part,” Blaine said, looking at Isabelle, feeling angry all over again. “As I said, I was taken to Bryce's trailer, so I could pick up any personal items and take them home. Yes, I was planning on ending our relationship, but I still had his daughter at home. I wanted to pick up things for her so that she would be able to keep a connection with her papa. Unfortunately, what I found was nothing I would ever let my daughter or anyone else see.” Blaine stopped for a minute, running his hand through his hair and then down his face. Without realizing it, his voice got softer, looking past, Isabelle but not seeing anything, so lost in his own thoughts.

“Blaine, what did you find?” Isabelle asked, looking at him concerned. He had gotten so quiet, when all through the interview, he had been strong and secure with what he was saying. When Blaine looked at her, she could see the shock and devastation in his eyes and dreaded what he was about to say next.

“Umm, I found his journal. When we were both doing ‘Always,’ he would spend a lot of time writing in that journal. He always had it with him. After we got married, it was the same. I caught him several times writing in it. Sometimes he would smile, but other times he would almost look sullen. I didn't know what was going on, and he wouldn't talk to me about it. He kept it to himself. When I found it, I thought good, here’s something that I could save for my daughter, something she could read later in life so that she could know her papa, not just by my words, she would have his as well. Now, I hope like hell she never finds out the kind of man he was or that he was even her father,” Blaine said, looking at Isabelle, and she already knew what he was about to say next wasn't going to be good.

“At first it was nice, he talked about how we first met, his first feeling and it erased some of the anger I had built up towards him during our marriage, that is until I got further into the journal. Here is the hard part. What I didn't know and what he failed to tell me was that he had been married before when he was sixteen. Apparently, he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant, and their parents signed for them to get married. She ended up losing the baby, and they eventually broke up. He never got a divorce,” Blaine said, looking at her.

“What?” she asked in shock looking at Blaine, not believing this

“Yeah, it would seem he just decided that if he ever wanted to get remarried that he would worry about a divorce then. According to his journal, before marrying me, he asked his father if it would be legal to marry me since he was technically married to his high school sweetheart. His dad convinced him that since she was a girl and I was a man, there would be no problem with us getting married. I guess he thought that gay marriage doesn't work the same as straight, I don't know,” Blaine said, shrugging his shoulders.

“So, your marriage to Bryce was never legal then?” Isabelle asks in shock.

“Apparently not. After Bryce's funeral, after the reading of the will in which Bryce left me everything, including the house his parents currently live in, his lawyer told me that Bryce was cautious with the wording of his will. He didn't mention he was leaving everything to his husband. He just said he was leaving everything to Blaine Anderson. He left his parents nothing but a one-dollar bill, and that was all.” Blaine continued telling her about the rest of the will, where everything that had been left to Bryce by Shey had been passed to him for Sere.

“The bad thing is that after the funeral, Bryce’s parents pretty much told me that they were going to fight me for Sere, they were going to have the adoption negated and take her from me because my marriage to Bryce had never been legal anyway. They had already talked to a lawyer. When they found out that I was getting everything, even their house, they offered to let me ‘have’ Sere, they wouldn't fight me for her if I signed the house over to them. I lost my cool, and even though my intention as soon as I heard I was getting the house was to sign it over to them, I lost it and told them to be out by Saturday. I don't want the stupid house, but after the things they called my daughter and the things they said, I'll be damned if they’re getting anything,” Blaine said, finishing.

“So, they’re fighting you for your daughter that you legally adopted. What are their grounds to do that?” she asked, getting mad at two people she didn't even know.

“Their thing is that Bryce was her father by blood. I was just her adopted father. They are blood relatives, and so she should go to them. The bad thing is that they don't want her for her. They want Sere for the money her mother left her. Unlike me, who put everything in a trust for my daughter, they just want to have access to it spend it. They want to treat my daughter the way they treated their son, and I'll be damned if I let that happen.” Blaine said, getting pissed off again.

“Ok, you’ve mentioned your daughter's mother several times. Was she famous? Was she someone we would know?” Isabelle questioned him.

“Yes, her mother was Shey Alexander, the actress,” Blaine answered.

“You’re kidding me?” Isabelle said with a smile

“No, I’m serious, and if I get to come back for a second interview, I’ll have more to say on her,” Blaine said with a little laugh, remembering almost too late that he wasn’t supposed to say anything about Shey being his sister, that his dad wanted to save that surprise for court. “Shey had always been one of my favorite actresses, and I loved everything she was in. She was amazing. I saw and loved almost everything she was in, including her one play. I found several pictures of Sere and Shey when we went to her apartment looking for things for Sere. Trying to get what we thought she would need until we could buy more. Shey had left a letter for Bryce at the hospital and it mentioned some important papers as well as a teddy bear Shey had bought for Sere before she was born. She asked Bryce to get it for Sere, and to tell her how much she was loved. That apartment was full of pictures, and you could tell with one look just how much that little girl had been loved. I just hate it that Sere will have to grow up not knowing her. I will tell her everything I can, but I don’t really know that much about Shey’s personal life. I’m hoping when I go back to London, I’ll be able to find things there. I am hoping that she was like Bryce and kept journals or scrapbooks. Things I can save for Sere for when she is older and starts having questions about her mom,” Blaine answered, feeling sadness for his daughter once again, thinking about how she would have to grow up never knowing her amazing mother. 

“So, what’s your next move?” Isabelle asked, smiling because she always loves it when the good win.

“Well, a lawsuit was filed on my behalf this morning in the California court systems by my lawyer. We will be suing June and John Mitchell for defamation of character, and conspiracy to commit fraud. They let me marry Bryce, knowing that he wasn't legally free to do so. I have written proof in Bryce's own handwriting. They have nothing. And if that wasn't enough, they offered to let me ‘buy’ my daughter in front of not one but two different officers of the court. There are a few more things that I can't legally talk about right now, but it doesn't look good for them,” Blaine answered with as much information as he could. Not wanting to give any additional information to the Mitchells until they were in court. That is when they will find out about the financial side of the lawsuit. They weren't gonna know what hit them, Blaine thought with a smile.

“So, where do you plan on going forward. Are you going back to California, back to acting?” she asked.

“No, I’m done with all of that. It was fun when I was filming, Always, I love the crew I was working with, my brother and Bryce at the time, but no, I won't be going back to that life. I don't like being followed everywhere I go by cameras. Worrying about what might be said in the papers about me that might be taken the wrong way by the people I love. Having an intimate moment with my boyfriend deemed front-page newsworthy. I want a quiet life with him, and my daughter,” Blaine said, looking at Kurt with a smile because he had finally said his boyfriend, not his ex.

“That was the first time you said boyfriend Blaine,” Isabelle said with a smile, “You’ve said ex all the way through this interview. Ssooo, which is it? Ex or boyfriend.”

“I’m very proud to say, my boyfriend. We reconnected right after Bryce died. I needed someone to talk to, and he was the one who always understood me better than anyone else. There were some personal things in the journal that kind of shook me to the core. He was able to talk me through it. As usual, he was able to save me from myself. He has agreed to give us another chance,” Blaine said, smiling proudly.

“Well, I happen to know your ‘boyfriend,’ and I can tell you that I am happy for both of you. I have seen the two of you together, and you are perfect for each other. I wish you both long and happy lives, ” she said, meaning every word.

“Thank you for that,” Blaine said with a smile spreading across his face.

“Well, there you have it, the first interview with Blaine Anderson. The full interview will be available tomorrow in our magazine. Go check it out. Once again, thank you, Blaine, for agreeing to do this interview, ” she said, standing up and reaching out to shake his hand.

“Thank you for having me and listening to all my ramblings,” Blaine said before reaching out and hugging her.

“Cut,” Isabelle said, and Kurt walked over to Blaine and into his arms.

The cover that appeared on the newsstands the next morning with Blaine's written permission had a picture of Bryce in one of his last movies, and the headline that went with simply said: **_Golden Boy Not So Golden._**


	17. How To Begin Again

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews I have received for this story. It helps more than you know. Thanks especially to Catcat85, TheresaG, JayhawkWrites, and the guest who left a review that I couldn't respond to personally, since, with guests, I don't have an option, but thank you so much. Also, thanks for all the Kudos that have been left on AO3.

oOoOo

After the interview was finished, Blaine walked outside with Kurt needing to hold him, and decompress a little. That had been more emotional than he thought it would be. He stood there just holding Kurt, needing his warmth for a few minutes, needing to feel him next to him, needing to know he was real.

“I am going over to the apartment and let Isabelle's team come and take pictures of everything. When you’re done here, will you come to me?” Blaine asked hopeful, but so not wanting to take anything for granted anymore.

“I’ll be there as soon as we get everything edited and sent to print. It looks like it might be an all-nighter though,” Kurt said, laying his head on Blaine's shoulder.

“I'll wait up for you. I think I might start getting everything in the apartment set up. I’m seriously thinking about keeping it. I was already planning on moving out of my old apartment. I just don't want to be there anymore, you know, maybe start over somewhere else.” Blaine said with a half-smile. Wondering how many more times in his life, he’ll have to start over.

“I want a more secure life for Sere, hopefully away from all the cameras,” Blaine said looking at Kurt

“I can't say I’ll mind having you close again. I’ve missed you so much,” Kurt said, reaching up and pulling Blaine's head down kissing him, showing him just how much he had been missed.

“Let's get this done so we can be alone,” Blaine said, kissing Kurt one more time, and then holding each other’s hand, they go back upstairs to Isabelle's office.

After telling Isabelle and Kurt goodbye, Blaine gets in the car with the camera crew and head over to the apartment. When the elevator door opens into the living area, Blaine hears an intake of breath from the cameraman beside him.

“Wow, “ he said softly

“Yeah, it’s pretty amazing. One of the first things I noticed was that view,” Blaine said, walking over to the windows. Since it was starting to get dark outside, Blaine could see all the lights of New York from that window. He was in love, and in that moment, he knew he was home, that he would be keeping this apartment and selling the one he owned with Bryce in California.

As Kurt said, it definitely wouldn't be a bad thing living close to him again, and this would also be closer to his parents, and with Sere, he knew that would be a good thing. He walked around with the camera crew, explaining how everything was, why the tags were still on everything, and why things had been left in boxes. They took about a hundred pictures, and then they were gone. Blaine went to work setting things up, removing all the tags. When the camera crew was done and had left, Blaine walked outside and hailed a cab and went to the closest store. He bought a few things he knew he would need right away like detergent for the laundry room and dishwasher, wanting to knock some of that out tonight while he was waiting on Kurt. Blaine grabbed a couple of cold bottles of water at the checkout and was on his way back.

When Blaine got back to the apartment, he went into what would now be his bedroom, stopping for a moment to once again look at the view, before pulling the bed linens out of their packaging and then grabbing the towels and washcloths out of the bathroom. He carried everything into the laundry room and put them in the washer, getting the first load started. His next stop was the kitchen. He looked through the different boxes of dishes and pans sitting on the countertops and then opening up all the cabinets to get a rough idea of where he was going to put everything. Going through everything had Blaine feeling just the slightest bit sad that he was the one doing this instead of Bryce, knowing he had looked forward to doing this himself.

The funny thing was that even though they had been so completely separate, had pulled so far apart while Bryce was still alive, each and everything in that kitchen was something Blaine would have picked out for himself. With all the arguing and fighting, they had done, he had almost forgotten just how alike they had been. How much they had, had in common. With a soft smile on his face, Blaine thought of the good times. He finally allowed himself time to think about his friend.

Opening the boxes of dishes, Blaine loaded the dishwasher with the first of who knows how many loads. Making a list of things he knew he would still need, and trying to decide if it would be best to have everything from the California apartment shipped here or buy all new. He was almost leaning towards buying new stuff. That would probably be the easiest thing to do. He did need to look into having his car moved to New York, though. If it were just him, he would sell his car and just use public transportation that was everywhere, but he didn't like the idea of having to wait on a cab if something major happened with Sere, and also most cabs didn't have baby car seats, not that he would trust putting his daughter in one they might have anyway.

While the dishwasher was running, he went into the office. He wanted to turn it into a cross between an office and a spare room. He knew he needed to move the bed that was in Sere's room out, and wondered if it would fit in here. Going into the room that would now be Sere's, Blaine started pulling down the bed, and then carried the frame into the other room and could only smile, it fit perfectly. He moved the rest of the bed in and got it set up, deciding to move the desk that the computer was on against the opposite wall, starting to make it look and feel more like home to him.

When he heard the washer finish, he carried the bedding that went with the spare bed into the laundry room, moving the sheets and towels that were already in the washer into the dryer and starting the next load. He went back into Sere's room, trying to picture in his head how he would set it up. He knew he needed a crib and a changing table, but also might look into getting a rocking chair as well. He didn't have one in her room at home, he had always just used the one in the living room, but after using the one at his mom's, he liked it. He liked sitting in her little room, holding her close and rocking her, loving that baby smell. That thought had him missing her even more. He pulled out his phone and called his mom to check on her for about the hundredth time that day. He could hear the smile in his mom's voice when she answered, and Blaine heard the unmistakable sound of his daughter's giggles that made him smile as always.

“She is doing fine, Blaine, I promise,” she said before he had a chance to ask anything.

“I know, I just wanted to call and check,” Blaine said, wishing he was already there, once again wondering how he was going to stand to be away from her when he had to go back to London and then on to Paris.

“I just gave her a bath, and your dad is getting her dressed, and then we are going to put her to bed,” Pam answered, understanding why he kept calling. With everything going on, with so much uncertainty, he just needed to touch base.

“Ok, call me if anything happens, give her a kiss for me and tell her daddy loves her and misses her ok,” Blaine said, wishing again he could be there to do it himself.

“I will. Good night, son, we’ll see you tomorrow, and she misses you too,” Pam said before hanging up the phone.

While he had been talking, he had been looking around Sere’s room and decided he wanted to repaint in here. He liked the soft sand shade that matched the rest of the apartment, but wanted something different for her. He also decided he wanted a different shade than the one in Sere's current bedroom. He knew he wanted and needed a change for himself, and even though Blaine knows right now, Sere won't know the difference he wanted a change for his daughter as well.

When he went back to London, he was hoping to find more pictures of Shey and Sere so he could have them framed and spread across the room. Blaine wanted Sere to know who her mom was. He remembers how Kurt said his dad had placed a picture of his mom in his room right after she had died. Kurt said it always made him feel like she was close, watching over him. Even though Sere will never know her mom, Blaine wanted her to have that as well.

When he had done everything he could, for now, Blaine walked into the living room and sat down at the piano. He didn't understand why Bryce had had the decorator get it because Blaine knew Bryce didn't play. Maybe he had been hoping to learn, or just liked the way it looked. Either way, Blaine was glad it was there. Looking out the window at the New York skyline, Blaine started running his hands over the keys, loving the feel of them under his fingers. He had missed having a piano in his home. It will be nice to have one again. Blaine had always loved playing music. It had always helped calm him when nothing else could. Yes, he had his keyboard, but it just wasn't the same as a piano.

As he started playing around with the keys, looking out the window, a melody started running through his brain and out to the piano keys. Before he even realized it a lyrics shortly followed. Blaine quickly jumped up and ran over to the messenger bag he still carried with him. He pulled out a pencil and spiral notebook he kept in there for this very reason, and he started writing the song down that was running through his head. At that moment, Blaine figured out what he wanted to do with the next stage of his life. He wanted to try his hand at writing music. That was something he could do behind the scenes. He wouldn't have to be in the spotlight. He could still live a normal life.

The notebook in front of him had dozens of songs Blaine had already written and completed, and one that was still only half done. It had been in that same stage for almost a year, and Blaine knew that that one song would stay that way. He had always loved writing down melodies when he was younger. He would be in the middle of something, and either a chorus or a rhythm would pop into his head, and he would have to stop what he was doing to write his idea down. Blaine lost track of how many songs he had written just about Kurt. He should have known something was off between him and Bryce. The whole time they were together either dating or after they were married, Blaine never once got the inspiration to write about him.

The last song he had written in this book was the one he had done right before his and Kurt's last break up. He had been planning on playing that song at their wedding as a surprise for Kurt. That song was the only one in his notebook that had never been completed, and even though they were now back together, Blaine knew it still never would be. That song had been ruined forever for him.

After that, the only song he wrote was the one he had written for Sere. He had been waiting and waiting for her adoption paperwork to go through. He had written a song for her when it finally did, she had become his inspiration, and in all actuality, she had become his life saver. When everything around him was falling apart, she was there, she became his sanity, his reason to get up every morning. He hadn't had that in a very long time.

When he heard the buzzer go off on the dryer, he pulled the bedding and towels out and carried them to his room. He folded the towels and washcloths and then carried them into his bathroom, putting them back on the counter until he could decide where he wanted to put everything permanently. He then walked back into his room, pulled the plastic off of the mattress, and pillows. He put the sheets and pillowcases on the bed and then spread the comforter in place. It was now ready for when Kurt got here. Blaine could only imagine how very tired he was going to be.

Walking back into the laundry room, Blaine put the sheets from the spare bedroom in the dryer and started it up, and then sat back down at the piano. He continued to tweak the song he had written, changing the lyrics here, the melody there until it was a piece he was happy with. Replaying the song again, it hits him whom he had written it about. Once again, a song for Kurt, he thought with a smile. His inspiration was back.

The whole time he had been playing, he had been thinking about Kurt. Their ups and downs, and the trials of their relationship. How far they had come and how much further they still needed to go. He knew they would probably never get back to where they were, but maybe that was a good thing, they could build on what they were now. He was just happy to have Kurt back. The song he had just written was them, about them, he simply called it _Until You_. He had just finished playing it again when he heard the buzzer by the door. Standing up, he walked over to it.

“Yes?” Blaine answered, pushing the intercom button.

“Mr. Anderson, there’s a Kurt Hummel here, he says you’re expecting him” The guard downstairs advised him.

“I’m on my way down,” Blaine answered, heading for the door and into the elevator. He needs to get a duplicate key for Kurt made he decides as he rides the elevator downstairs. One of the things he liked about the apartment set up was that you could leave the front door open so when the elevator opened, you were looking straight into the apartment, or you could close and lock it, not that that seemed necessary since someone had to have an elevator key to even get to the apartment. When he got to the lobby, Kurt walked up to him. Blaine pulled him into a hug and then holding his hand, he guided him to the elevator. It was 4:30 am, and Kurt looked like he was about to pass out. Not saying a word, still holding his hand, Blaine walked with him to his bedroom.

“Come on, sweetheart, let's go to bed,” Blaine said softly before helping Kurt strip down to his boxer briefs, pulling the blankets back for him. Blaine watched as Kurt crawled in, snuggled up with a pillow and was out like a light. Blaine could do nothing but smile, loving just being able to watch Kurt sleep again. Blaine turned off the bedroom light, stripped to his boxers and crawled in behind Kurt, trying not to wake him, as he pulled him close, placing a kiss on the back of his head and before long, Blaine is falling asleep, the happiest he had been in a long time.

Blaine wakes up slowly the next morning, but instantly realizes what had woken him up. While he was sleeping, Kurt had started rubbing his ass back against Blaine. When they had first started living together when Kurt had done that, Blaine would quickly flip him over onto his back, wake him up with kisses, and then they would make love. It had become Blaine's favorite way of being woken up. But not this time, this time, it was pure torture because he couldn't do that anymore. He gently pulled himself away from Kurt, rolled over, and crawled out of bed. Blaine stood there looking down at Kurt, wanting him so desperately, but instead of crawling back in bed with him and doing something he had wanted to since they got back together, he grabbed his toiletry bag out of his suitcase and walked towards the bathroom. He grabs a towel and washcloth off of the counter and walks up to the shower.

Blaine strips off his boxers and steps in, setting the water temperature to the coldest he could stand. He squirts some of his shower gel into his hand and then reaches down and grasps his cock. Blaine slowly starts moving his hand up and down, closing his eyes and wishing it was Kurt's hands on him instead of his own. He missed the touch of another person, Bryce had been the last person to touch him, and that had been so very long ago.

Bryce had stopped any kind of intimacy with Blaine after the first two months of marriage. The only release Blaine had gotten other than by himself was when he had shown up unexpectedly at Bryce's motel when he had been away on a shoot. Blaine had needed him so badly. He had pushed him up against a wall, and when he couldn't get the friction he needed that way, he had carried Bryce to the bed, crawled on top of him, and for fifteen minutes, Blaine had been in heaven. When he had gotten his release before Bryce did, he had felt bad. Blaine had always wanted to take care of his partner. He wanted them to come first before he found his own release, so he had given Bryce a blowjob taking extra care in pleasuring him. Blaine had felt satisfied, so relaxed and happy he was with his husband even if it was for only a few stolen hours.

Their last intimate moment had been ruined for Blaine the minute he read about it in Bryce's journal. He had talked about how Blaine had rubbed into him, how he seemed to really enjoy himself, and how Bryce had just laid there and waited for it to be over, hating every minute of it. Something inside Blaine had died a little that day. He started doubting everything he had ever done in the bedroom. Blaine doubted if he had ever really satisfied Kurt. Had he just laid there, and gone through the motions as well, just waiting for Blaine to finish, just waiting for it to be over? Blaine had decided in that moment that he would take care of his own needs from now on, he wouldn't force his attentions on anyone else. If they needed him, he would take care of them, and then he would take care of his needs on his own. He couldn't survive it if he thought he was disappointing Kurt.

Blaine knows what Kurt said right after Bryce died when he showed him what he had written in the journal. Kurt had told Blaine not to believe it, that he had always satisfied him, that he had wanted to make love with him as well, but no matter what he said, Kurt had pulled away from him too, he had stopped making love to him as well. Kurt would wake up first thing in the morning and be out of bed before Blaine woke up and would come back to bed only after Blaine had gone to sleep. That should have told him something, but Blaine had just kept living in his own little dream bubble.

Standing in the shower, something else hits him. Kurt texting with Chandler. Had he done that because Blaine was so lousy in bed that he was trying to find someone else who was better, someone who would actually satisfy him? Blaine had learned everything he knew from his intimate times with Kurt. He had always loved everything they had done together, but what if Kurt never had? What if he, like Bryce, he had only ever “just lay there and waited for it to be over.” That thought hurt.

The words in Bryce's journal had ruined every beautiful memory he had of making love with Kurt. Standing in the shower, all those thoughts running through his mind, Blaine just went soft. He slowly allows himself to slide down the shower wall, sit down, and cry. Blaine wanted just to go in there, hold Kurt in his arms, and make love to him. He had wanted to do that from the moment he had seen Kurt again, but knew he couldn't put himself through that doubt again. Wondering if he was pleasuring Kurt, or was he, like Bryce, just going through the motions.

Blaine slowly stood up, finished showering, and then turned the water off. Grabbing the towel he had hung by the shower, Blaine dried himself off and then wrapped the towel around his hips, and walked back into his room. Kurt was still cuddled up asleep. Blaine just stood there watching him sleep. Shaking his head, Blaine walked over to his suitcase and pulled out the first thing he put his hands on, not really caring and quickly got dressed. He needed to get out of here for a minute. He needed to get away. He felt like he couldn't breathe.

Blaine took the elevator downstairs to the lobby and then walked out the front door. The smells of the city hit him the minute he stepped outside, and he was transported back to a year ago, when everything seemed so incredible, up to the second his world had fallen apart. Blaine just walked without even thinking about where he was going, just needing to walk off this feeling. Before he even realized where he was heading, Blaine had walked to Gino’s, their favorite restaurant, or at least the place he had always thought was their favorite restaurant, thinking back to that night when Kurt had asked him why they always had to eat there. This had Blaine once again rethinking every aspect of his and Kurt's past relationship.

Blaine stands there, looking at the table they had always sat at, and the memories of that night came flooding back. Blaine could see it happening like it was a movie reel rerunning in his mind. He slowly turns around and starts heading back to the apartment, stopping at the coffee shop they used to go to, he grabbed Kurt a non-fat mocha and himself a medium drip, and then just for the hell of it he grabbed them both a cronut, remembering the addiction he had once had for them.

Walking back to the apartment, he started thinking about Sere, missing her so much, knowing besides his parents, she was the one person that he knew was always happy to see him. He missed her being with him. He was in his own world until he passes a newsstand and sees the newest Vogue magazine, and there on the cover was a picture of Bryce, with the caption “Golden Boy Not So Golden.” Blaine picked up a copy, paid for it, and headed back to the apartment.

Carrying the coffee and cronut bag into the living room, Blaine sits them down on the coffee table and then sits on the couch. Opening the magazine to the first page, Blaine just stares, there, with the story he had given them, was a picture of himself and Bryce. It was a picture of them from the set of Always. Blaine, standing with his arm around Bryce, both of them looking at each other, looking so happy. He remembers when that picture had been taken. It was the day after Bryce had agreed to be his boyfriend, Blaine had been on top of the world.

Blaine hadn't thought about them including a picture of him with the story since it had been mainly about Bryce. He didn't realize that they would be doing that. He slowly read the story and noticed how well it had been written and edited. Nothing had been put in that he hadn't said himself, no words had been added. What made him smile was on the last page of the story, Kurt had been given partial credit for the interview. The next few pages were from the apartment tour, how he had found it, and why it had been left the way it was. The story talked about how Bryce had finally wanted a place that he got to set up his way, the way he wanted it to be. He had wanted to decide where the dishes would go, where he wanted everything to be. It went on to say how Bryce had wanted to be the one to pull the sales tags off of everything. To be the one to remove the plastic off of the mattresses, and pull the bedding out of their bags. It was sad in a way that he had never gotten that chance. In that moment, Blaine felt a connection with Bryce that he had never had before. He remembered when he had wanted the same thing, remembering what had caused his and Kurt's first real fight.

When he moved to California, Blaine had looked forward to buying his first apartment. He looked forward to setting it up the way he wanted it to be, putting everything where he wanted it to go. When he and Bryce had finally found their first apartment together, Bryce was already in the middle of shooting a new movie. Blaine had been the one to pack up the apartment where they had temporarily been living. He had been the one to find the one he was currently living in. They had combined their stuff, keeping some things from Blaine's apartment and some others from Bryce's.

When he and Bryce had first started dating, Blaine had commented that he liked the way Bryce's apartment looked. It hadn't really looked the way Blaine would have pictured Bryce's apartment looking, but it was nice. Bryce had looked at Blaine and smiled, saying that his manager had found the apartment for him while he was shooting a movie in Arizona. He had come back to a fully furnished and decorated apartment.

Blaine had been the one to set up their apartment while Bryce was gone. It was sad, but Bryce had always wanted to be the one to set up his own space. He had moved from his parent's house to that apartment. He was never once able to do the one thing he wanted to do so much. Blaine leaned back into the couch, put his head back, and brought his hand up to his face and broke down for the first time since Bryce's death. No Blaine hadn't loved him, and knew no matter how long that they might have been able to be together if he hadn't died, he never would have been able to love him. His heart had then and always would belong to Kurt. But Bryce had become Blaine's friend, and he had cared about him. Bryce had helped him through some bad times when they had first gotten together, and he would be lying if he said he didn't miss his friend.

“Why didn't you wake me up?” Kurt asked, walking over and sitting down beside Blaine, kissing him on his cheek.

“I knew you had a long day yesterday,” Blaine said softly, trying to get his emotions under control

“Blaine, are you ok?” Kurt asked, looking at Blaine feeling concerned, and then he saw the magazine beside him.

“You didn't like it, you didn't like how we edited your interview,” Kurt said, looking at Blaine. He had worked hard on the story, trying to make sure it only said what Blaine had wanted it to say, nothing more nothing less.

Blaine reached out and pulled Kurt over to him so that Kurt was sitting on his lap. “No, Kurt, it is perfect. It is an amazing write-up. Thank you for watching out for me. That’s why I wanted you to be involved. I knew you would watch out for my best interest.”

“Ok, if you aren't upset about the story, then why are you crying, Blaine? I don't understand,” Kurt asked, looking at him.

“I guess it finally just hit me that he’s really gone,” Blaine said quietly, looking at Kurt.

“Oh,” Kurt said, standing up and off of Blaine's lap looking shocked and hurt.

“No, sweetheart, you misunderstood. I wasn't crying because I loved him, because I didn't. I had told him upfront that my heart would always belong to you, so no, I didn't love him, but he was my friend. He helped me when we first met. The weekend of what would have been our fourth anniversary Kurt, the first one we actually spent apart, it hit me, and it hit me hard. Bryce helped me through that the next week. He helped me make it because I honestly didn't know if I would,” Blaine said, walking up to Kurt, pulling him back into his arms, holding him so close.

“I guess looking at the pictures of this apartment kind of hit me,” Blaine said honestly.

“I don't understand,” Kurt said, looking at him.

“Do you remember when we had our first fight?” Blaine asked looking at him

Kurt's face goes blank, trying to remember. They had never really argued or fought. Even when Blaine had told him he had cheated, they had both cried and had just gone their separate ways. They didn't argue. He thought back to high school and the whole Chandler thing, they hadn't even fought then, Blaine had just been hurt. He sang his song in glee and then had just walked away. Kurt had gone to him later and apologized, realizing how bad it had looked, and realizing just how badly he had hurt Blaine. And then it hit him. He remembered their only real fight.

Blaine had been living with him for only a few weeks when Kurt came home, and Blaine had set up a study area, and for whatever reason, it had flown all over him. That Blaine was coming into his space, trying to make changes without first asking him if it was ok. Blaine had looked hurt at first, and then the more Kurt had gone on about it, the madder Blaine had gotten. They had had their first fight that had ended with Blaine walking out the door. Now, thinking about how this apartment had been left, and how the designer said that Bryce had felt, it slapped Kurt in the face. Blaine had just wanted to create his own space, a place that was just him, to put his own touch on the apartment. Kurt had been telling him since he moved in that it was _their_ apartment, but thinking back, Kurt had never treated it as such, it was his set up, his way. Kurt and Rachel had been living like that for a year, and it had bothered him when Blaine had just decided to step in and change things. In other words, make a place that was his. He had been pulling away from Blaine even then and hadn't realized it. Picking fights for stupid reasons, Kurt was just now realizing all the things he had done that had ultimately hurt Blaine.

“I am so so sorry, Blaine. I never stopped to think about how you might have felt. I had gotten used to things being my way for once in my life. I had always lived under dad's roof, and that was my chance to have things my way. I never even thought about the fact that you might have felt the same, that I was expecting you to live in _my_ space that was supposed to be _ours”_ Kurt said, looking at Blaine, tears running down his face “I never really thought about how that must have made you feel, and I am so sorry. I can't believe our first fight was over something so foolish as you wanting to have just one small space in the apartment that was yours. Blaine, can you forgive me?”

“Sweetheart, you have nothing to apologize for. That’s over and done. I wasn't trying to make you feel bad. I wasn't. I just wanted you to understand why I was feeling how I was feeling.” Blaine said, pulling Kurt into his arms and kissing him with all the feelings he had for him, needing him so bad.

When Kurt started deepening the kiss and pulling Blaine closer to him, Blaine knew what he was wanting, and he couldn't do it. He loved Kurt and wanted him with everything he had, but he just couldn't do it. He couldn't go into that bedroom and force Kurt to do something he didn't really want to do, just to cheer him up. Blaine gently pulled away from Kurt, placing one more kiss on his lips

“It's probably cold, but I got us a coffee and cronut when I went out. Come on, let's eat, and then if you want, we go see Burt and Carol. I need to talk to him, and if it is ok, I would like to go by mom and dad's and see Sere for a few minutes. I really miss her,” Blaine said, barely controlling his voice, not wanting Kurt to see he was upset.

Kurt was confused. Once again, he had tried to get close to Blaine, to reconnect with him intimately the way they still hadn't done since getting back together. When Kurt woke up this morning, he had been so hard and needed Blaine so badly. He had rolled over, reaching across the mattress for him, only to find an empty bed and cold sheets. Not saying anything, not wanting to push the issue, Kurt walked over and sat by Blaine as they drank their coffee and ate the cronut Blaine had gotten for them. Kurt having a flashback of the addiction Blaine had once had for them when he was still at NYADA.

“I would love to go see dad and Carol again. How do you think your mom and dad will react to me showing up with you?” Kurt asked, looking at him while taking a sip of his coffee.

“They’ll be fine with it. I told finally told them everything, Kurt, how you had every right to break up with me, what I had done. They know we are back together.” Blaine said, looking at him, wondering if he didn't want to go

“If you’re sure, I would like to see them again. I’ll need to go to my apartment before we go, though, so I can take a shower and change clothes,” Kurt answered.

They finished their coffee and then went to Kurt's apartment. While he was showering, Blaine looked around. Walking over to the shelving unit between Kurt's curtained-off bedroom and the living room, he looked at all the pictures that now lined it. When Blaine had lived here, it had just been filled with Nic Naks. No pictures had been on there. While he is looking over the shelf, Blaine looks at Kurt's bed, well what used to be his side of Kurt's bed. There on the nightstand, where Blaine had left it, was the black and white picture of Kurt that he had left behind when he had packed up his stuff and walked out of the apartment for the last time, leaving his key on the kitchen table. Walking slowly over to it, Blaine lovingly picked up the frame. That picture had been on his nightstand from the time Kurt had given it to him, until the day after Kurt had broken up with him. That picture had meant so much to him.

“I left it there, I guess, because I kept waiting for you to come back and want it again. I also left it there to remind myself just how stupid I had been, and how much I hurt the person I loved most in the world,” Kurt said walking behind Blaine with just a towel wrapped around his waist. He put his arms around Blaine's waist and laid his chin on his shoulder. Blaine slowly placed the picture frame down where it had been, before turning in Kurt's arms and pulling him closer. Blaine slowly starts kissing Kurt, needing to feel him again, needing that connection, even though he knows he won't let it go any further than a kiss.

Blaine steps out of Kurt's arms, looking at him “I booked us a flight while you were in the shower. It leaves in about an hour, so whenever you're ready, we can head out,” Blaine said before placing another soft kiss on Kurt's lips and then turns to walk back into the living room, giving Kurt privacy to dress.

“Shit, ” he heard Kurt whisper. Blaine hears Kurt continue to mumble as he pulls first one drawer out and then slams it back into place before opening another drawer and slamming it.

Blaine just shakes his head, walking over to the couch, sitting down and holding his head in his hands. How long is he going to be able to keep this up? Blaine needed Kurt so badly, every time he kissed Kurt or held him, it was like Kurt was setting him on fire. He couldn't stand the thought of being separated from him, but it hurt to be so close at the same time. Blaine sat like that for a few minutes, when he heard Kurt start to walk towards the living room he sits up. He didn’t want Kurt to know about the personal battle he had waging inside himself, needing him so desperately, but so afraid of pushing him away.

Kurt walked over to him, stood there looking at him for a few minutes, before softly, pushing Blaine back, and then straddling his lap and sitting down. Kurt needed him, and for whatever reason, Blaine just kept pulling away from him. Leaning down, Kurt started kissing him, deepening the kiss, sliding in his tongue into Blaine's mouth, and then he slowly starts thrusting his hips forward and back, rocking into Blaine and feeling just how hard he was for him.

Before Blaine even realized what he was doing, he had pushed Kurt off of his lap and had him lying on his back on the couch, and he was on top of him with Kurt's legs wrapped around his waist grinding down, rocking his hips fast, kissing Kurt deeper than he had been allowing himself to do. Kurt moaned his name, and that is when it hits Blaine what he was doing, and abruptly stops. Blaine instead starts kissing down Kurt's neck. He had felt how much Kurt needed him, how hard he was, and refuses to leave him like that. He slowly starts unbuttoning Kurt's shirt, his lips following his hands, kissing every inch of skin that his hands expose. He gently pulled Kurt's shirt out of his waistband. Kurt leaned up enough so that Blaine could slide his shirt off of his shoulders.

Placing the shirt on the coffee table, Blaine leaned over and started running his tongue around Kurt's left nipple while he used his right thumb to rub circles around his right, causing Kurt to arch up off the couch. Blaine continued kissing down his chest, letting his tongue circle around Kurt's navel, softly sucking a mark on Kurt's stomach and then continues kissing down his abdomen following that little thin strip of hair that ran from under his belly button down past his waistband that had always driven Blaine crazy, knowing exactly where that little strip ended.

Blaine reached out, never taking his eyes off of Kurt. He slowly started unbuckling Kurt's belt, taking his time, smiling softly as he watches Kurt thrust his hips up. Once the belt was undone Blaine takes his time first unbuttoning and then unzipping Kurt's jeans, slowly easing them and his boxer briefs down his legs and then letting them drop on the table with Kurt's shirt. Blaine leans down over Kurt once again and continues to kiss down that strip of hair until he gets to the part of Kurt that needs his attention the most. Blaine sits on his heels between Kurt's legs looking down at that beautiful man, feeling himself getting harder, wanting to sink into Kurt so bad. Blaine brings up his hand and strokes Kurt for a few minutes before slowly standing up and kneeling beside the couch.

Blaine slowly leans down and runs just the tip of his tongue up Kurt's hard cock, using his left hand to pull it away from his stomach. Blaine circled the head with his tongue before kissing the tip, taking him in his mouth and then he is going down, taking all of him in his mouth, hollowing his cheeks, sucking gently as he did so, slowly Blaine moved his head up and then back down again doing the one thing for Kurt he knew he was good at. Blaine moved slow and steady at first until he felt Kurt start moving under him and whispering his name over and over. He speeds up then, sucking a little harder reaching his hand out he gently starts massaging Kurt's balls with one hand, while gently pushing the index finger of his other hand into Kurt's tight whole. Blaine's own erection, screaming for attention, but he ignores it.

Blaine continues moving his head up and down feeling as Kurt grew harder, he started moving faster until Kurt reached out and grabbed Blaine's hair warning him that he is about to come. Not pulling off, Blaine just keeps moving his head, giving Kurt all he could give him, he soon tasted as Kurt came down his throat and he swallowed every drop. Blaine places a kiss on the head of Kurt's cock before leaning over him, placing a kiss on his sweet lips. He can only smile when he sees how blown Kurt's eyes were, knowing at least in this, he could satisfy Kurt if in no other way.

“Blaine, I had forgotten just how good you were at that,” Kurt sighs, his head back looking at Blaine, looking so satisfied.

“That's good to hear,” Blaine said with a small smile “Come on sweetheart, let's get you redressed, and then it’s time for us to head out” Blaine whispered standing up, reaching down to help Kurt sit up, smiling when he hears Kurt complain about jelly legs.

“Don't we have time for me to return the favor?” Kurt asks, walking over to Blaine after rearranging his clothes, wrapping his arms around Blaine's neck, and kissing him. So relaxed now. He had needed that so much more than he thought. It had been almost a year since the last time he had been with Blaine, and Blaine was still the only person he had ever been with.

“No, but you can take care of me next time,” Blaine said with a smile, knowing that that wasn't going to happen. When he got to the airport, if he needed to, he would just go to the restroom and take care of himself there. At least he knew Kurt was satisfied.

Blaine leaned in and kissed Kurt one more time before reaching out for his hand and walking with him to the subway station. When they walked out of the exit, they were able to catch a cab to take them to the airport. Blaine spent the 20 minutes they had to wait for their flight snuggled up with Kurt, just holding him.

When they land in Ohio, Blaine grabs them another taxi, gives the driver his parent's address in Westerville, and sits back, holding Kurt's hand. Even though being gay was more accepted now, Blaine was still hesitant to do more than hold hands, not wanting to push the issue, or get something started. They had both had issues here, best just to be careful.

When the driver pulled up outside his parent's house, Blaine grabs Kurt's hand and walks with him towards the front door. Before they even get there, the door is opened by his mom holding Sere. When she saw her daddy, she started trying to get to him. With a big smile on his face Blaine reaches out and takes her from his mom, holding her close, placing little kisses on her face.

“How is my baby doing today?” Blaine asks her, pulling back so he could look at her with a smile on his face. She just started babbling. What she was saying he had no idea, but he could tell by the concentration on her face she meant every word of it. The only thing he understood was “dada,” which had him brimming with pride.

“Is all that true little girl, you’ve done all that already. I thought you promised not to do anything extraordinary while I was gone,” Blaine said with a grin kissing her one more time, so very glad to have her back in his arms. Looking up at his mom, he sees her looking at Kurt for the first time

Pam walks up to Kurt and looks at him for a minute and then pulls him into a hug. She had always liked Kurt when he and Blaine had been together, but when he had hurt Blaine, that had changed her mind about him. When Blaine explained what he had done, how he had cheated, she then understood why Kurt had done what he did. No, Michael hadn't technically cheated on her, they had been separated when he met Shey's mom, but it still hurt. She knew that if he had done to her what Blaine had done to Kurt, she might not have been so quick to forgive. Son or not.

“Welcome back to our home Kurt, we have missed you,” She said before turning around and walking with the three of them into the house.

“Blaine, your daddy is in the den and wants to talk to you,” she said with a grin. That interview he had done had shocked them both.

Walking into the den, Blaine saw his dad stand up from his desk, a big smile on his face walking towards him. “Damn, son. I know I told you to let it all out, but…,” Michael said, laughing, pulling Blaine into a hug, slapping him on the back, being careful not to squeeze his granddaughter.

“Glad you approve,” Blaine just grinned.

“How was New York? I saw the pictures, and that apartment looks amazing,” Pam asked, motioning for everyone to sit down.

“Mom, it’s, and to be honest, I’ve decided to move there. I am going to sell the apartment in California. I like the idea of living closer to you guys, and I want away from California. I had already decided I wanted to move before going to New York. I just can't live there anymore. Seeing that apartment just made my decision an easier one. I am so tired of looking over my shoulder and being followed everywhere I go. I want somewhere safer for Sere.” Blaine answered

“Are you sure, son? When you moved away from New York, you said you would never go back, that there was nothing there for you anymore, once you left NYADA,” Pam asked, concerned for her son. Yes, she understood the first breakup, but couldn't understand why Kurt broke Blaine's heart the second time. She had never seen someone look so utterly devastated in her life, and to see that look on her son, hurt more than she ever thought possible, knowing there wasn't anything she could do to make it better.

Blaine looked over at Kurt and then over at his mom. “I'm sure. I know this is the right thing for Sere and me. I think getting away from that whole lifestyle will be the very best thing for both of us. We both need a change,” and Blaine believed that one hundred percent. They had been through things, but he felt that he and Kurt were in a better place this time than they were before. Well, almost…

“Has there been any blowback yet from the interview?” Blaine asked, looking over at his dad, after reading it this morning, he wondered if he might have made things worse, taken it too far. But he knew he had to tell his side of things, to get his side out there before the Mitchell's told theirs. Blaine knew he had the truth on his side, but still.

“No blowback, but a few things are going on that I need to talk to you about,” Michael said, looking at him.

“Do I need to leave?” Kurt asked, starting to stand up.

“No, Kurt, I have no secrets from you. Whatever needs to be said can be said in front of you,” Blaine said, reaching out and putting his hand on Kurt's knee, keeping him from standing up.

“Ok, first the Mitchell's lawyer called me, they asked for another week to get everything packed and moved out of the house. They said you didn't give them enough time. I wanted to tell them they were out of luck, but I agreed to another week. I told them at that point, they would be expected to be out. I informed them that you would be coming by to check on the house, and anything that had been left behind would be tossed. I don't know if they think they can keep stretching this out until it's time to go to court or what, but I gave them one more week,” Michael said looking at Blaine

“I don’t want to give them a second, but I agree with you. What else” Blaine asked his dad, he just knew that wasn’t everything.

“I know you said you were ready to move out of California, away from everything there, but I was talking with Bryce's lawyer. He feels that it would be best if you stayed until after all the court business is settled. I understand that you want to leave son I do, but it would be better if you stayed for a while longer,” Michael said, looking at his son seeing the look of disappointment on his face.

“Dad, seriously?” Blaine said, looking at his dad. He couldn't stand the idea of staying in that apartment another night. He was ready to move on with his life. Put the past behind him.

“Blaine, son, I know how much you want out of there I do, but we have to be smart right now. You still need to be a California resident until after everything is settled.” Michael said, trying to explain.

“How long?” Blaine asked, shaking his head, bouncing Sere when she started fussing. He didn't know if she was feeling the change in his mood or what.

“Just till after we get everything settled. I have requested a court date, but it looks like the earliest possible one is in two months” he answered

“Two months, dad, I have to put my life on hold for two more months. I just don't understand. I just want this all to be over. If it weren't for losing Sere, I would tell you to drop it and let the Mitchell's have everything. I can't believe that Bryce is still screwing me over from the grave,” Blaine said, standing up and starting to walk, trying to soothe a now crying Sere. “Shh sweet girl, it's ok, I'm sorry daddy upset you, it's ok,” he said, rubbing his hand across her back soothingly.

“Blaine, son, you just have to be officially living there. That doesn't mean that you have to stay there. You just need to make sure you are spending at least one night a week in California. The rest of the time, you can stay in New York or here, or wherever you want,” Michael said, watching his son as he soothed his little girl. Michael was so proud of the man Blaine had become, and the father he was. He hated that they had to do this, but hoped they could get everything settled quickly. He knew Blaine had to feel like a dark cloud was hanging over him.

When Sere finally calmed back down, Blaine went back over and sat down with Kurt. “What else?” he asked because he knew that wasn't the end of things.

“Ok, I told you I have been working with Bryce's lawyer, he is going to step in and help us. My license doesn't allow me to practice law in California. Their legal system is so much different from anywhere else, and it would take too long to get my license to practice there. John will be stepping in as your lawyer for all court proceedings,” Michael told him.

“Dad, I don't know if I like that idea. I trust you to have my back, can we really trust him?” Blaine asks.

“Son, I think this will be our best bet. I was going to need to find you a new lawyer anyway. This way, I can be second chair. I’ll be there watching your back, but he will be your actual lawyer, and to answer your question, yes, I think we can trust him. He has given me a lot of information he didn't have to. I think this will be the best thing to do, but son, it is your decision. This is your life.”

“Dad, I trust you, if you feel this will be the best way to go, then that is what we’ll do. So, I can still live basically in New York? I’d just need to leave my permanent address in California for right now, correct?” Blaine said, asking his dad. Maybe that won't be so bad after all. He needed to get everything in the apartment packed up and arrange for a mover to move everything he decides to take with him anyway.

“Will any of this stop me from checking out the London apartment? I want to get that all settled and have one less thing to worry about,” Blaine said, already tired.

“No, that won't be a problem at all. Speaking of London, I was able to get with Shey's lawyer, and he thinks he might have someone already lined up to buy her apartment, especially if you agree to sell it furnished.” Michael answered.

“That won't be a problem that will actually help. I can just concentrate on getting her stuff packed up and not worry about getting rid of furniture.” Blaine answered.

“Sounds good, do you know when you plan on getting that settled?” Michael asked.

“Well, Kurt's dad wants us to come to Friday dinner tonight, so if Kurt and I can get everything packed and ready, maybe Sunday, if he is willing to go with me, we can plan on flying out then. I want to get this done as soon as possible. Kurt's boss has given him a month off to help me do this, so the sooner we can get it done the better,” Blaine answered

“Do you want me to keep Sere for you?” Pam asked, and Blaine could tell she was hoping he would say yes, but he wanted the baby with him.

“Not this time, mom. I’m going to take her with me. I was thinking about taking a few pictures of her at the apartment. That way, when she gets older, she’ll have a reminder of her mother, and to be honest, I am not ready to let her go again so soon. I know I’ll need to leave her with you when we go to check on Paris, but I think it will be ok to take her to London,” Blaine said, looking at her, seeing the disappointment on her face. Pam had quickly become attached to Sere, and that couldn't make Blaine any happier.

“Ok, well if you change your mind, I’ll be happy to keep her for you,” Pam said with a smile

“I know mom, and I really appreciate it, but with everything going on, I just want her with me as much as possible. Plus, she is changing so fast. I don't want to miss anything,” Blaine said, looking down at his daughter. He never thought he could love someone as much as he loved her. She made everything he had had to go through worth it. He almost hated Bryce but had to thank him for bringing this child into his life.

They continued to talk, and discuss the court case, ate lunch, and just enjoyed spending time together as a family. Blaine was happy that they included Kurt in everything. They had always liked him when they were dating. Yes, they hadn't been happy with Kurt after the first break up, but after explaining to them what he had done, they finally understood, Blaine was just glad they seemed to be putting the second breakup behind them as well.

Before they realized it, it was time to head to Lima. Blaine took Sere into her room and changed her clothes. He was starting to feel nervous. This was going to be the first time he would see Burt and Carol since he moved to California. He didn't know how much Kurt had told them about what happened. Blaine had always loved Burt, he had been like a second father to him, especially during the time he was having problems with his own dad. But one thing Blaine knew, well used to know anyway before their last break, Burt always thought that he and Kurt should be together, even after Blaine had cheated. Blaine had sat down and talked to Burt, he didn't really tell him why he cheated, but that he did. Burt thought that was the sign of a true man, taking responsibility for his actions, and he had forgiven him. Burt had actually pushed for them to get back together.

Blaine had to laugh thinking about Christmas before last when Burt had shown up at McKinley and convinced him to go to New York and surprise Kurt. He hadn't really known how Kurt would react. They had just started talking again over Thanksgiving, trying to reconnect, be friends again at least, but it had turned out perfect. They had had their annual Christmas duet while skating at Bryant Park. That was still one of Blaine's happiest memories. Kurt had been more relaxed than he had been in a long time, and Blaine was with the love of his life, his life couldn't have been more perfect. They had finished skating, drank hot chocolate, and just enjoyed being together again. On the way back to Kurt's they had shared several sweet kisses that had Blaine hoping that they were heading for a reconciliation, it took a while, but they got there.

“Ok, baby girl, I am going to be taking you to meet two very important people in daddy's life. Be prepared for a lot of hugs and kisses,” Blaine said, laughing. He could already see Burt and Carol.

“And _you_ need to be prepared to lose your daughter because I don't see Carol letting her go,” Kurt said with a smile on his face leaning against the door frame of Sere's room. Kurt loved watching Blaine with her. He was so confident. There was absolutely no hesitation at all. He seemed like he had been a father for years instead of just a few months.

Kurt walked up to Blaine and wrapped his arms around him and placed a soft kiss on his lips, which Blaine happily returned. He was so glad to have this man back in his life, back in his arms where he was always meant to be.

“You ready?” Blaine asked, kissing him one more time, before picking up Sere, and then reaching down and taking Kurt's hand.

“Yes, yes, I am,” Kurt answered, meaning yes, he was ready to go, but also ready for so much more. He was ready to move on with their lives together. He knows it will be a slow go now that Blaine has a daughter, but oh so worth it.

“Let's go,” Blaine said with a smile, walking with his family out the door.


	18. Lima Bound

oOoOo

Blaine didn't remember the trip from Westerville to Lima ever going so fast. He remembers this drive, how long it always seemed to take him, but it had always been worth it because at the end of that long drive had been Kurt. Before Blaine even realized it, they were pulling up in front of Burt and Carol's house. He put the car in park and then sat there breathing heavily. Blaine was as nervous as he had been the first time he pulled up in this driveway after he and Kurt had officially become boyfriends and started dating. Back then, he had expected Burt to sit him down and have the talk with him that he had had with Kurt since only the week before that, Blaine had told Burt he needed to talk to Kurt about sex. It was a wonder Burt had let him walk out of the garage that day.

It's a wonder Burt hadn't killed him then. Blaine can still remember the look on the Burt's face when he told him in the middle of his shop that he was worried because every time he had tried to talk to Kurt about sex, he put his fingers in his ears and wouldn't listen. Blaine can only smile when he thinks about how a year later, he and Kurt had discovered the joys of sex together. Blaine had been so very much in love, lying there in his bed, holding Kurt, he had felt like his world was complete.

“You ready?” Kurt asked, looking at Blaine watching as he just sat staring at the front door of the house breathing heavy, looking nervous.

“Yeah, I'm ready,” Blaine said, looking at the door, wanting to give himself just another few minutes before heading in and facing Burt. The next minute though, the choice as to when to go in was taken out of his hands, he watched as the front door opened, and Burt and Carol walked out, both with warm smiles on their faces, and in that instant, Blaine knew everything was going to be ok.

Burt walked over to Blaine's side of the car, leaned down, so he was looking at him through the window. “Are you going to sit there all day or are you going to get out and give me a hug?” Burt asked, laughing.

Blaine quickly opened his door, stepped out, and was pulled into a massive hug. He had missed this, being part of this family, he finally felt like he was home again. When Kurt walked up to them, his dad let go of Blaine and hugged Kurt. Carol patiently waited for her turn and hugged Blaine to him, and then put her hands on either side of his face so that he had to look at her.

“Don't you ever stay gone that long again, Blaine,” She said, placing a kiss on his cheek. “I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Blaine said, standing back so he could look at her. “I have someone I want you both to meet,” Blaine said, looking at both of them, and then he walked to the back door of the car and pulled Sere out of her car seat. Placing a kiss on her cheek, Blaine turned around and faced the two people who had always meant so much in his life. He stood there for a minute and then looked down at the face of his daughter, knowing that if they couldn't accept her, they couldn't accept him. He really shouldn't have worried.

“Burt, Carol, I would like you to meet my daughter Sere,” he said, looking at them for a second before turning Sere slightly in his arms so they could see her for the first time. Every day she was changing and started looking more like him and less like Bryce. She still had Bryce's eyes, but everything else was Blaine.

“Oh wow, Blaine, she’s beautiful,” Carol whispered, walking up to him, looking at her. “If Kurt hadn't told us about her, I would think she was one hundred percent yours,” she said, looking at Blaine. “Can I hold her?”

Blaine smiled, handing Sere to her, and then stood back to watch Burt and Carol interact with her

“And just like that, you’ve lost her,” Kurt said walking over to Blaine wrapping his arm around his waist

Blaine stood there and watched his little girl as she tried to talk to them, and could only smile when he saw the big burly Burt Hummel start talking back to her, acting like he understood every word she babbled.

“It's good to be home,” Blaine whispered in Kurt's ear, pulling him close. He had always felt like the Hummel's were his family, it was nice to see that that hadn't changed.

“I don't know why you were so worried, to begin with?” Kurt whispered, kissing Blaine before following his parents as they walked with Sere inside the house.

They talked all through dinner reconnecting, Blaine feeling like he had been there just yesterday instead of over a year ago. Before any of them were ready, it was time for them to leave.

“Don't be gone so long next time,” Burt said, hugging Blaine when they got back to his car. “You are still part of this family, son. Don't ever forget that again.”

“I won't. I promise,” Blaine said, returning the hug.

“Dad, this weekend, I’m going to be going with Blaine to London to see about packing up his sister's apartment. I’ll be away for several days,” Kurt said, looking at Burt.

“Well, don't forget to call me when you get home kiddo,” Burt said, hugging Kurt one more time holding the car door while Kurt was getting in.

Kurt looked at his dad with a smile on his face, “I promise.”

“Drive safe,” Burt said, and then shut Kurt's door and watched them back out of the driveway.

“Ok, what do you think about catching a flight first thing in the morning back to New York, you can pack a suitcase, and grab your passport, and then we can fly to California so I can pack for Sere and me. That will give me time to book a flight.” Blaine said, looking at Kurt for a minute before turning his attention back to the road.

“Sounds good. How long do you think we will be there?” Kurt asked, looking at Blaine.

“I am not really sure, but I would plan on at least a week. Anything more than that and we can buy what we need there,” Blaine answered.

“Oh, and you know just how much I hate to shop,” Kurt said with a smile breaking out on his face thinking about Burberry and other London designers.

“I know it is going to be such an inconvenience for you,” Blaine said, laughing.

“Oh, it will, you will owe me big time, Mr. Anderson,” Kurt said, laughing back.

“I think I can handle that, Mr. Hummel,'' Blaine said back, looking over at him again, feeling so comfortable and at home with Kurt. It almost felt like it used to. He had so missed him.

As Blaine was pulling into his parent's driveway, his phone started ringing. Pulling it out of his pocket and looking at the display, he recognized the name and number right away. “This is Blaine”

Kurt started to get out of the car to give Blaine privacy while he took his call, Blaine stopped him by placing his hand on Kurt's knee and giving him a soft smile, letting him know it was ok to stay.

“Wait, what do you mean?” Blaine answered in shock

“I never agreed to that, Jack. I never signed on for that.”

“Hold up a minute, what do you mean Bryce approved it. He told you I agreed?”

“I never signed anything. How am I responsible?”

“No, he had no legal right to sign anything on my behalf, and I know for a fact I didn't sign to do that project, especially with him. I told you after Always, and after the last miniseries, I did, that I wasn't going to do any more acting. I want to be home for Sere right now, especially since she lost Bryce.”

“Shit,” Blaine whispered, running his hand through his hair “And you're sure it is my signature because I don't remember signing anything agreeing to that.

“Can you get me out of it, do to unforeseen circumstances?”

“_Ok, when_ is it? I am leaving for London tomorrow to clear out Shey's apartment finally, and I won't be back to LA for at least a week.”

“Fine, just get everything set up, and Jack, this is the last thing I am doing,” Blaine said, hitting the end call button on his phone before putting his head back on the headrest bringing his hands up rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hands. “Shit, ” he whispered again.

“Blaine, what's going on?” Kurt asked, looking at Blaine with concern.

“Well, it would seem that before my '_husband'_ died, he agreed we would both do a show together. Jack, my manager, is saying I signed a contract agreeing to it before Bryce died. I don't remember it. I know Bryce never said anything about it to me because hell, he and I were barely talking at the time, and even though Bryce is no longer around to do it, I still have to.” Blaine said, looking at Kurt, wondering once again just how much more Bryce could screw him over.

“When did he say you agreed to it?” Kurt asked, looking at him.

“He said Bryce agreed to it right before the awards show. I know I signed a few things for Jack that week, and before you ask, no, I didn't read everything. He was my manager, and he was in charge of all of that. I wonder what else I signed…? Crap,” Blaine sighed. Once again, glad that he was leaving that crazy world behind him.

“Do you think your dad could look at the contract you signed and get you out of it?” Kurt asked.

“No, because just like with the lawsuit, dad doesn't really know California law and nothing about entertainment law. I’ll do this one last show and be done with it.” Blaine said, opening up his car door and stepping out. He reached in the back door and pulled a sleeping Sere out of her car seat. When Kurt walked over to them, he reached down for his hand, and then they walked towards the front door of his parent's house.

They spent the night in Westerville and got on the first available flight to New York. Kurt needed to go home and pack clothes and get his passport, and Blaine needed to book tickets for California so he could pack for him and Sere, and he still needed to book a flight and hotel reservations for their London trip. When the three of them landed at LaGuardia, they first went to Kurt's apartment, and he packed everything he thought he would need for a week and a half. He knew when they got back from London, Blaine would need to spend some time in California, and he wanted to be there with him.

After Kurt was packed, they got a taxi and went to Blaine's apartment, glad when they got there that the portable crib Blaine had ordered had been delivered and was waiting for him at the security desk. He would need it here until he could buy a new crib for Sere, plus with it being portable, he could take it with them in case the motel they stayed out while in the U.K. didn't have one. After setting down their luggage, they went out and grabbed dinner at one of the little bistro's they used to eat at before the break-up. They had a really good time enjoying a quiet conversation. Right as they were finishing up, Blaine noticed someone taking his picture with her cell phone and knew that the paparazzi would be there soon.

“Let's get out of here,” Blaine said with a strained smile. So tired of people taking his picture, especially when he was out with Kurt and the baby.

Kurt looked up at him, surprised. They had been having a good time, and then Blaine just decides it is time to go. “What's wrong?” he asked, looking concerned.

“I just saw someone taking my picture, which means we’ll soon be invaded. If it was just me, I’d smile and wave and go on, but I don't want them taking pictures of the two of you. I choose this life. You didn't,” Blaine said, looking at Kurt with a sad smile, looking forward to the day when he might be able to have a quiet dinner with the man he loves without having a camera shoved in his face.

“Ok, let's go, I am ready to spend some time alone with you anyway,” Kurt answered, standing up.

They managed to make it outside and in a taxi before the paparazzi stormed in. They looked out the rear window and saw them all start piling in the restaurant they had just left.

“I'm sorry, Kurt,” Blaine said with a sad smile. “If you would rather stay here and not go to London with me, I’ll understand.”

“Oh no, Mr. Anderson, I’m looking forward to that trip, I'm not going to allow you to take that trip away from me now,” Kurt said with a big smile. No matter how many cameras ended up following them, he didn't plan on leaving Blaine's side again. The year they had been a part had been long enough.

“Are you sure, Kurt? I really will understand,” Blaine questioned him again, so glad that Kurt hadn't decided it was too much trouble being with him.

“I’m sure,” Kurt said, placing a small kiss on Blaine's cheek.

When they got back to Blaine's apartment, he gave Sere a bottle holding her tight, looking down at her sweet face, still sometimes not able to believe he had a daughter, and knowing that even though the last year and a half of his life had been pure hell, Blaine knew that if asked, he would do it all again, if it brought him her. She was oh, so worth it.

When she finished her bottle, Blaine carried her into the bathroom, he would use for her and gave her a warm bath, and then put her in a pair of pajamas. He held her for a few minutes singing softly to her, and she was out like a light. He gently placed her in her crib and then walked back to the living room and sat down beside Kurt on the couch and pulled him close to him.

“She asleep?” Kurt asked, placing his head on Blaine's shoulder.

“Yeah, usually a warm bath is all it takes, that and a song, and she is out,” Blaine answered, placing a kiss on top of Kurt's head.

Blaine turned on the television with the volume on low, and they watched a movie together. Before it was off, Blaine felt Kurt snuggle deeper into his side and realized Kurt was asleep. He reached for the remote and turned the TV off. He gently pushed Kurt so that he was lying with his back to the couch, and he curled in front of him, holding him close and was soon falling asleep himself.

oOoOo

Blaine was having the most fantastic dream. He had Kurt's warm wet mouth on him, he was so hard, and the friction that Kurt was making with his mouth was unbelievable. Blaine could feel as Kurt's mouth moved up and down, feel his tongue circle the head of his cock before making his way back down. Kurt had always been so, so good at pleasuring him. He hadn't felt this relaxed and loved in a long time, not since before their break up. Bryce had never been willing to try giving Blaine a blowjob even though he had given Bryce one all the time. Blaine felt as Kurt gently massaged his balls, and he couldn't stop the moan that escaped his mouth, he was in heaven. Blaine was so very close. He felt the tightening in his balls, and the telltale pull in his stomach Blaine was about to cum, he hadn't felt so good in a long time. Blaine thrust his hips up, moaning again, and felt as Kurt put his hand on his hips to hold him still. That’s when Blaine woke up, realizing this was no dream.

The last thing Blaine remembered was that he and Kurt had been snuggling on the couch watching a movie, and Kurt had fallen asleep with his head on Blaine’s shoulder. He had made sure they were both comfortable and then had fallen asleep himself.

“Kurt, please stop,” Blaine whispered, turning his face away so that Kurt couldn't see the look on it.

Kurt stopped instantly and pulled his mouth off of Blaine, feeling so beyond hurt. Blaine sighed before adjusting his clothes and then sitting up. He wanted to cry when he saw the look that Kurt was giving him. Blaine stood up and moved slightly away from him. He needed to put a little distance between them before he went back over to Kurt and begged him to finish what he had started. Blaine hadn't felt that good in so long, feeling someone else's touch on his skin, but he just couldn't let Kurt keep doing it, he knew where it would lead.

“Why, Blaine, why...? Do you think I haven't noticed how you pull away from me every time I try to get close to you? Or that you haven't made love to me since we got back together? Is it because of _him_, is it because I’m not _him?_” Kurt asked, standing up and turning his back to Blaine.

He was so tired of this. His feelings so hurt that Blaine had once again pulled away from him, feeling the rejection like a smack in the face. He didn't think this could hurt worse if Blaine _HAD_ actually slapped him.

“Why won't you let me touch you anymore? Why do you pull away from me every time I try to get close to you?” Kurt asked turning around to look at him.

“Kurt, I just can't,” Blaine whispers, looking at Kurt, knowing he was hurting him.

“I don't understand, Blaine. Please help me understand,” Kurt says with tears running down his face, “If you don't want me anymore, then tell me. If Bryce was better in bed than me, just tell me that. But Blaine, please don't leave me hanging.”

“**_No, Kurt, no, don't ever think that!_**” Blaine said, feeling upset that Kurt would even think something like that

“You don't want me anymore, Blaine. Do you think I haven't noticed that? The only time you touch me is when I start something. We haven't made love one time since we got back together. You won't even let me take care of you. You pull away from me. Blaine, I know I’m not Bryce, and never will be, but I thought I would be enough. I used to be enough,” Kurt whispered.

“Kurt, you are and have always been enough for me. I’ve just been afraid to be honest, that I wasn't good enough for you. I can't let sex destroy us again, Kurt. I just can't. Please understand,” Blaine said with tears now running down _his_ face looking at Kurt, wishing there was a way to fix this. He couldn't lose him again. He had just gotten him back.

“How can I understand any of this, Blaine, huh? You say you love me, and yet you seem like you can't stand for me to touch you. None of that makes any kind of sense to me.” Kurt said, trying not to scream the way he so wants to because he knows Sere is still asleep in her room.

Blaine sighed, looking at Kurt, he slowly walked over to him, placing his hands on either side of his face and places a soft kiss on Kurt's lips before pulling away again, walking towards the office. Blaine reached in the messenger bag and pulled out Bryce's journal. He had carried it with him in case his dad needed to make a copy of some of the pages like they had discussed before. Now Blaine was glad that he had. He flipped through the pages until he got to the first page where he was mentioned.

Blaine looked down at the cover and blew out his breath. He had _never_ planned on letting anyone read his shame, but he knew that he needed to let Kurt so he could maybe understand. Knowing he would never be able to say those words out loud to himself, still so unbelievably hurt and shocked by what Bryce had written about him. Taking a deep breath, he walked back into the living room and over to Kurt.

“I know when we first started talking to each other, I let you read part of Bryce's journal. I couldn't let you or anyone else read all of it. I just couldn't. Kurt, some of the things in this journal are hurtful and very painful. Some of the things he says are beyond cruel. I need you to read it so that maybe you will understand _me_. Why I feel like I do, I love you, Kurt, more than you will _EVER_ know, but in here, is why I can't give you what you want. I hope after you read it, you might be able to understand,” Blaine said in a soft voice, and with the saddest look on his face, it broke Kurt's heart.

Blaine had always been so outgoing. He had such a bubbly personality. Kurt had lost count over the years of how many times Blaine had bounced on furniture. He would smile at the drop of a hat, and laugh until everyone in the room laughed with him. He was generous to a fault and loved beyond measure.

Kurt knew from the moment they had first connected that he had become Blaine's person. That’s why it hurts so badly when he thinks back to how bad he had treated Blaine. Kurt remembers how he had sat across from Blaine at the Lima Bean wanting him to transfer to McKinley so his senior year could be perfect. What had he done to help make sure Blaine's senior year was perfect…? Nothing.

Blaine had left the school he loved. The school where he had friends, to be with Kurt, and as soon as he had gotten to New York, everything had seemed so much more amazing than his high school sweetheart, and he had started ignoring him. No wonder Blaine was as jaded as he was. Two people who were supposed to be there for him had let him down.

Kurt knew that over the last few weeks, Blaine had been hiding behind his mask. Kurt knew that Blaine was glad that they were back together. He believed that without a doubt. He knew that Blaine loved him as much as he loved Blaine, but he also knew that Blaine wasn't happy and hadn't been in a while. Bryce had almost destroyed him.

“Blaine, if you don't want me to read it, I won't. Can't you just tell me?” Kurt asked, still looking at Blaine.

“No, Kurt, trust me, I can't say the stuff that’s written in there, but I need you to read it, so you might understand why I am the way I am. Please remember I love you, ok. This page is where _we_ began. When you’re done, come to my room, and we can talk, ok?” Blaine said, handing Kurt the journal, and then he leaned over and placed a small kiss on Kurt's lips.

Blaine turned away from Kurt and walked down the hall towards his room. Looking in at Sere to see is she was ok. He made his way to his bedroom. He couldn't be in the same room with Kurt when he read Bryce's words. He was too ashamed to even look at him. Blaine walked into his room, grabbed the notebook and pen he had left it on the dresser, walked out to his balcony and sat down. He opened his notebook and started writing a letter, a letter of explanation for everything. He couldn't stop the tears from sliding down his face, remembering the vile words that had been written by someone he had once thought of as a friend.

It was quiet in the living room for fifteen minutes, and then he heard a loud _fuck!!_, and then feet running down the hall. Kurt didn't stop. He went straight to Blaine, tears streaming down his face, he pulled Blaine up from his chair and into arms, holding him tight, as they both cried. Kurt couldn't believe what that son of a bitch had written about someone as perfect and special as Blaine. The things Bryce had done to him on purpose was unforgivable. He had purposely withheld intimacy from Blaine, while the whole time, Bryce had been sleeping with a fellow actor. Hoping that he could push Blaine to cheat on him so he could take Blaine for his money. Blaine had told him about their past, and Bryce had used it against him.

Kurt knew that Blaine wasn't the type of person to cheat on someone. When Blaine was in a committed relationship, he would never cheat. Kurt knew he was the only reason Blaine had. Bryce had taken that information and used it, hoping that if he did the same thing to Blaine that Kurt had done, he would cheat on him too.

“Kurt, I can't do that to you. I can't make you go through what I made, Bryce. I don't want you ever to have to lay there and just take it, that would kill me,” Blaine whispered, pulling Kurt closer. Looking him in the eyes.

“I’ll take care of your needs, I’ll give you all I can of me, but I _will not_ force myself on you,” Blaine said pulling out of Kurt's arms once again. Bending over, Blaine picked up his notebook that had fallen when Kurt had pulled him into his arms. He tore the letter he had written out and handed it to Kurt. Hoping it could explain more to Kurt than he could verbally, he then walked over to the railing, leaned on it, watching as the sun rose over the New York skyline. A sight that at any other time, Blaine would have thought was beautiful.

_Kurt,_

_I am thankful every day that I have you back in my life, that you are mine again. I love you more now than I did before, and that’s hard to believe since I’ve always loved you more than life itself. You quickly became my world, my center, and in a way, my very existence. But I’m scared. I’m scared of losing you again, disappointing you, not satisfying you. I know when I let you read the journal before, you said not to believe what he’d written. I only let you read a small part of it then. I couldn't let you read it all..._

_I couldn't let you read all of Bryce's thoughts about me, about our life together. I knew things were strained between us, but I would never have thought all of that. That’s why I only let you read part of it. I was too ashamed to let you see it all. Who would want to let someone else read the hateful thoughts their husband had written about them, how I was never able to satisfy him. Something inside me broke a little that day. I had done everything I could to be good to him, I really had._

_When I first started reading what he had written, I tried to convince myself that it was him, he was just unhappy, but then I thought back to when we were together, how you pulled away from me too. You stopped being interested in being with me. I know what you said before about it, why you did it then, why you ended us, I do. But it had started before that too, though._

_Remember, in high school, your senior year, when you started texting Chandler? Are you sure you didn't do that because I didn't satisfy you even then? Was I not good enough, even then? Everything I knew I had learned _ ** _with_ ** _ you, we learned and explored that side of our relationship together. We figured out what we liked and what we didn't or at least at the time I thought we did._

_Maybe I wasn't enough, even then. Maybe what we had wasn't enough. Maybe even then, you were searching for someone better. Someone who could do things for you that I wasn't. Satisfy you in a way I couldn't. I love you too much to lose you because of that. I can't risk losing you because I am lousy in bed. I’ll take care of you any way I can, but I'm sorry, Kurt. I can't make love to you. I can't lose you again. I love you too much._

_Please forgive me, Kurt. I don't want to sentence you to a life without something I know you enjoy. I won't do that to you. If you need to leave me to get what you need, so be it, as long as you always come back to me. I couldn't survive if I lost you again, Kurt._

_Yours Now and Always_

_Blaine_

“Blaine,” Kurt said, looking at him crying,

“I can't disappoint you again, Kurt I just can't,” Blaine said with tears running down his face. This hurts so much. He just wanted to pull Kurt close, to show him _just _how much he loved him, but he loved him too much to ruin everything they _did_ have again.

“Blaine, you have never once disappointed me, _ever_! If you had, would have I tried to get back with you? Would I have kept trying to get you to make love to me?” Kurt asked, wiping the tears off of his face. This was so much worse than he thought. That man had taken every bit of confidence Blaine had in the bedroom and destroyed it.

“Are you sure when you came to New York after graduation, when you pulled away the first time that you weren't looking for someone better even then?” Blaine asked.

“Blaine, there is no one out there, then or now, for me, that is better than you, because there is no one better than you for me. True what we know we learned together, but who says that's a bad thing. You are all I need or will ever need. You love me. You take care of me. You satisfy me in a way no one else on this earth ever could. I have never once tried to be with anyone else but you. I never could. You are it for me, you are my life, my center, my everything, Blaine, just like I was for you. I am so sorry that my actions before, made you believe what that idiot wrote.”

“Blaine, please stop pushing me away. Please stop thinking about him. Please stop letting someone destroy you from the grave. You are it for me. There could never be anyone else. I love you, Blaine, I need you,” Kurt said, pulling Blaine's face down to him, not letting go even when Blaine struggled to get away, Kurt just held on tighter. In that instant, Blaine finally believed, and he felt something inside him snap, and he pulled Kurt to him, attacking his mouth, kissing him harder and deeper, needing him in that instant more than he ever had in his life. He was finally able to let go and believe, to believe in them again.

“I don't have anything here, Kurt. I didn't plan on this,” Blaine said, kissing across Kurt jaw and to the spot on his neck that Blaine had learned so long ago, set Kurt on fire.

“That's ok, for now just hold me, Blaine, please just hold me,” Kurt moaned, pulling him closer.

“Happy too, baby. So, so happy too,” Blaine whispered in Kurt's ear, pulling him even closer, never wanting to let him go.

Kurt threw his head back as Blaine kissed down his neck and then nibbled on his shoulder. “Blaine, do you remember the first night I slept at Dalton” Kurt exhaled, getting more and more turned on.

“Of course I do baby, I remember everything about that nig…. _OH,_” Blaine said with a grin placing another long deep kiss on Kurt's lips before slowly reaching out to undo the buttons on Kurt's shirt, only then noticing there were a thousand teeny tiny buttons down the front of it.

“Your clothes are still ridiculous and hate me,” Blaine groaned out, remembering all the tight, tight jeans that Kurt used to wear that took him thirty minutes to peel off of him. Yes, Blaine had always loved seeing Kurt's toned ass in those tight jeans, but loved it, even more, seeing that ass without them.

“And you are still impatient,” Kurt laughed, leaning in to kiss Blaine. He reached up and started to help Blaine out by unbuttoning his shirt for him. Blaine was getting impatient, now that he was allowing himself to touch Kurt, he wanted to touch all of him now. Right when Blaine was about to slide Kurt's shirt off his shoulders, they heard Sere in her room starting to cry.

“Damn,” Blaine sighed, dropping his hands off of Kurt's waist. “Cockblocked by my own daughter,” Blaine said with a small moan leaning in to place a soft kiss on Kurt's lips. “We’ll finish this later,” Blaine said, reaching down to adjust himself in his pants before walking down the hall and into Sere's room to pick her up.

“You did that on purpose, didn't you baby girl? Wait until you’re eighteen and want to go out on your first date,” Blaine said with a smile kissing her on top of the head.

“Eighteen, huh. I seem to remember you were only sixteen the first time we went out on a date,” Kurt said, laughing at Blaine, walking in just in time to have heard what he said.

“Welllll, my little girl will be eighteen before she goes out the first time, and I like the advice your dad gave you about saving yourself. That sex was a good present to give yourself when you’re thirty.” Blaine said, turning around looking at Kurt with a grin on his face.

“And I seem to remember you not letting me get past seventeen,” Kurt said, walking up to Blaine wrapping his arms around him and Sere.

“Well, you shouldn't have worn those ridiculously tight pants,” Blaine said, taking his free hand squeezing Kurt's ass, feeling so good allowing himself to touch Kurt again. It had been almost painful denying himself something he had wanted to do for over a year.

“Don't worry, little girl. I'll talk your daddy down,” Kurt said, kissing her cheek and then laughing when she made grabby hands trying to get Kurt to take her almost as if she understood what he was promising.

Blaine, on the other hand, was on cloud nine because he _did_ understand that was Kurt's way of letting him know he was in it for the long haul. He would be there when Sere was sixteen or eighteen when she was allowed to go on her first date.

“I need to get with Burt and see if he’ll let me borrow his gun when the time comes,” Blaine said with a big smile on his face, and Kurt could do nothing but laugh.

“Ok, why don’t we all get dressed and then go somewhere for breakfast? By the time we’re done eating, it should be time to catch our flight to California,” Blaine said, kissing Kurt and Sere on their cheeks. While Kurt took his shower, Blaine got Sere dressed, and while Blaine was in the shower, Kurt gave Sere a bottle.

“You know what, we need to try to talk your daddy into getting you some lemon blueberry pancakes one day. Those are his favorite, by the way, if you ever need to know a good way of bribing him, say to let you go on your first date? That ought to do it for you. Our secret, ok?” Kurt said, kissing Sere on the cheek. Blaine heard it all and could do nothing but smile.

Still smiling Blaine went into Sere’s room and pulled down the travel crib, grabbed Kurt’s suitcase, and they were soon walking out the door. Blaine was finally back to his happy place, a place he never planned on leaving again.

A/N: The next chapter will include the London apartment, I promise lol. Thanks for reading TB.


	19. Discovery

oOoOo

On the way out of the apartment, Blaine stopped by the security desk and put in a request for a duplicate key for the elevator, and his apartment, Blaine wanted Kurt to be able to come and go as he wanted to, without having to wait for Blaine to buzz him up. Blaine also added Kurt to the approved visitor list, so he would never have to stop at the desk and sign in. When he was done with that, he asked what parking spots had been assigned to Bryce.

Walking towards the parking garage that was set up for the tenets of the apartment complex, Blaine looked at Kurt. “I forgot that in the will, not only did it say that I got the apartment, but he also had two cars here. I need to check them out really quickly and figure out what to do with them,” Blaine said.

“What kind are they?” Kurt asked, looking at Blaine.

“A BMW and a Mustang,” Blaine answered, shifting Kurt's bag and the portable crib a little, wishing he had thought to leave them at the desk until they were ready to leave.

When they got to the spaces that had been assigned to Bryce, they found a black BMW that looked to be brand new and a car under a cover. Blaine sat down the suitcase and travel crib and walked over to the car. Lifting the cover, he could do nothing but stare, mouth hanging open. There, under that cover, was a 1969 Ford Mustang Fastback in candy apple red. His dream car when he was a teenager. He used to talk to Kurt about getting one when he was older. From the look of it, it had been completely restored. Blaine walked around the car, looking at it and was in love. He tried the door handle, and it was locked. He knew it would be but had to try it anyway the same with the BMW.

“He never told you about the cars?” Kurt asked, looking at Blaine, shifting Sere to his other arm.

“No, but I keep finding out more and more things I didn't know about. Until the will was read, I didn't even know this place existed much less the Paris apartment. I knew about London, of course, because I had been there, but nothing about any other properties. Bryce, I’m finding out had a lot of secrets, I wonder if I will ever know them all,” Blaine said, looking at Kurt, feeling a little sad that Bryce felt he had to keep so much of himself hidden away.

“You don't have the keys?” Kurt asked, looking at Blaine

“No, I'll look when we get back to California. He had a key ring that he kept in his nightstand in our bedroom. I saw him put it in there once but didn't really think that much about it at the time. The one that had our apartment key on it is still on the dresser. It was given to me along with the rest of his personal effects when I had to identify the body,” Blaine answered, leaning down to look through the window of the BMW.

The day Blaine had gone to identify the body, he had been handed a sealed manila envelope that he had been told contained Bryce’s personal effects that he had with him the day of the accident. Why the keyring hadn't been in the envelope, he never understood. When he had gotten home, he had just taken both, sat them on his dresser, and never even paid attention to them again. He knew they were there, but couldn’t bring himself to care. Blaine decided it was finally time to look.

“The mustang looks to be in really good condition. Whoever restored it seems to have done a good job on it. You should have dad check it out to be safe if you’re thinking about keeping it,” Kurt said, shifting Sere again when she started squirming.

“That probably wouldn't be a bad idea. What am I going to do with the BMW? I have a car in California I bought right after I moved there, I don't need another one.” Blaine said, looking at Kurt.

“I'm not sure, but can I make a suggestion?” Kurt asked, looking at Blaine. “Give yourself time before you make that kind of a decision. I know you say you didn't love Bryce, but you did care about him. I know how much he hurt you, but it doesn't change the fact that you just lost someone who, at one point, was important enough to you, to marry him.”

“Give yourself time to figure everything out. Give yourself time to grieve the loss of, if nothing else, your friend. I know you can't really do anything like that about the London and Paris apartments, you need to get that settled, but the cars aren't going to hurt anything sitting here for a while.”

“Give yourself time to figure yourself out before you make any major decisions. I know you want to move out of your California apartment. You had already decided on that before he died, but for everything else, take your time. They say after you lose someone, you shouldn't make any big life-changing decisions for at least a few months, if not a year.”

“When we lost mom, dad got rid of her stuff, because it hurt him too much to look at it, and later regretted that decision. He sold her car that she had loved so much, and then later wished he had saved it for me. I know the situation was a little different, that he really loved her, but it was still done in a moment of grief. All I am saying is just give yourself a little time,” Kurt said, looking at Blaine. Hoping he hadn't just overstepped. He and Blaine had just gotten back together, and he was talking about something he really didn't know that much about, Bryce and Blaine's relationship.

“Thank you. You always seem to know exactly what to say,” Blaine whispered before pulling Kurt into his arms. He knew what Kurt was saying was good advice. The things he had done so far had been done out of anger and hurt, but like Kurt said, at one time, Bryce had meant a lot to him. He didn't regret getting rid of his clothes and the awards, he knew he didn't need those things, but he would hold off on getting rid of anything else until he had time to rethink everything.

“Let’s go eat,” Blaine said, bending over, grabbing Kurt's suitcase and the crib they head back out of the garage.

They ate breakfast at a little mom and pop restaurant, Kurt said he discovered a few months ago. Thinking about what Kurt had said to Sere that morning, Blaine ordered her her first pancake. The smile that spread across her face had Blaine knowing there was no turning back. He had just gotten his daughter addicted to lemon blueberry pancakes.

oOoOo

When they get to California, there were a few things Blaine needed to take care of before getting ready to leave for London. He had told his dad, he would go by and talk to Mr. Garrison, Bryce's lawyer, and sign some paperwork he needed so they could proceed with the lawsuit against the Mitchell's. Even though it was Sunday, he had agreed to meet with Blaine since he was going out of the country, and they needed to file as soon as possible.

He needed to go by his manager's office and get the particulars on the show he was being required to do, and last, but not least, he needed to go by and talk to Cooper. He deserved to know that he and Kurt were back together from Blaine and not from the media. They had been lucky so far, and no good pictures of Kurt had made it into the papers yet, but he knew it was only a matter of time, and after everything Cooper had done for Blaine, he wanted to make sure he was the one Cooper heard it from. 

Luckily the paperwork that Mr. Garrison needed signed was already together, so that didn't take long. What took the longest was settling everything with his manager. He once again, let him know that this show would be the last one he would do. Luckily he would only be filming roughly two days, and that would be it. He would have a small part on the new show Forever Lost. Jack told him that Bryce had hoped that there would be a recurring role for him. The producer had told Bryce they wanted both him and Blaine. He thought that they seemed to have good chemistry when they were filming Always. Blaine knows that was the only reason that Bryce would have agreed to work with Blaine again.

The next stop they made was Cooper's. He had called ahead to let him know that they would be coming over. He knew how Cooper felt about Kurt, but like his parents, Cooper didn't know the whole story about what had caused the first breakup, and it was time to let him know. When they walked in the door, Blaine noticed the look Cooper kept shooting at Kurt, and Blaine knew it was time.

“Coop, can I talk to you in your room for a minute?” Blaine asked, looking at him. When Cooper nodded his head, Blaine followed him into the bedroom.

“Go ahead and have a seat, Kurt, we’ll be right back,” Cooper said, looking at Kurt before shutting the door behind him. He didn't like Kurt being back with Blaine, and he really didn't like him holding Sere.

“I can't believe you took him back after everything he did to you Blaine, didn't you learn anything? ” Cooper said once the door was shut, raising his voice.

“Cooper, I have something I need to talk to you about, can you please set down a minute and let me talk?” Blaine asked, looking at him.

Cooper just looked at him “Fine, ” he said in an agitated voice before doing as Blaine requested and sat down. He could tell Cooper wanted to say so much but did as Blaine requested and stayed quiet.

“Listen, Cooper. When Kurt and I broke up the first time, there was a big reason for that and a lot of it, _well_ most of it was _my_ fault. When Kurt first moved to New York, he got busy with work and trying to get into NYADA. He didn't really know how to manage his time very well yet. He was on his own for the first time. He didn't have his dad micromanaging his life. He was handling everything on his own, and don't forget he was only eighteen.”

“I was seventeen, feeling very vulnerable because the person I loved, the person I was used to seeing every day was now hundreds of miles away, living a new life that suddenly I didn't feel like I was a part of. He kept having to work all these weird hours, so our phone calls a lot of times got pushed back, and our skype dates became almost nonexistent.”

“I was used to us spending hours talking about us, about things we both liked to do, what we wanted for our future, and all of a sudden we were talking about the makeover he had done for Rachel and filmed for the Vogue website. The neat outfits he found in the Vogue clothes vault. In other words, he was now excited about more than just me, well us. He had finally found a place that made him happy and hadn't learned how to balance all the different aspects of his life yet. I felt like I was losing him. The day before we broke up I had been trying to call him, but he wasn't answering his phone. I didn't know at the time that they had put him on the switchboard so he could answer calls for them because their normal person was on vacation.”

“In his usual job, he could at least pick up his phone and let me know he was busy but that he would call me back. The week we broke up, I had called him several times, and he didn't answer his phone, it just kept going to voicemail, and sometimes I didn't hear back from him, no text, no calls. I don't know if I was feeling more vulnerable that day or what, but…”

“Coop, I was stupid, and I cheated on him. I just felt so lost, so numb. I went out with someone I met on Facebook. It was stupid. Instead of getting on a plane, acting like an adult, and making him talk to me, I went out with someone else, and only then went to New York. I had to tell him. Cooper, if you could have seen his face, when he opened his door and saw me standing there, heard how happy he was to see me, it still breaks my heart thinking about what I did to him.”

“I had never lied to him before. At that moment I thought about keeping it to myself, how would he ever know anyway, but I couldn't do that to him. As I said, I had never lied to him, and to me, not telling him what happened would have been just as bad as a lie, so I told him. Cooper, I broke his heart. The look on his face is one I will never forget. He was so hurt and so betrayed, he broke up with me. Somehow we managed to work it all out, and he forgave me. It took time, but we got there, and that’s when we got engaged.”

“Looking back on it now, I know it was too soon for that. We should have waited, but once again, I let my insecurities get the better of me. I wanted a ring on his finger when he went back home. I wanted everyone to know that he was taken, that he was mine. I don't mean that that was the only reason I asked him to marry me, because it's not. I loved him so much, and I just wanted to make our relationship a little more permanent.” Blaine said, looking at Cooper, seeing the look of disbelief on his face.

“So you're telling me you’re the reason for the first break up. _YOU_ cheated on _him?_” Cooper said in disbelief.

“Yes. I did. I blew everything out of proportion and threw away the best thing that ever happened to me. I still can't believe Kurt took me back after that,” Blaine said, looking at Cooper, hoping he would understand and cut Kurt a little slack.

“Ok, Blaine, I understand the first break up. What about the last one, the one that left you almost broken?” Cooper asked, not yet ready to forgive Kurt.

“Kurt felt nervous and insecure. When we were closing down glee at McKinley, one of the old glee club members commented on how that is all the world needs is another teen marriage that will soon end in divorce. Kurt had already been thinking that we were too young to jump into marriage. I think he thought our engagement would be longer than I did. I started planning the wedding because, to be honest, I was ready to make him mine. I wanted him to be my husband.”

“What I didn't know was that the closer the day came, the more scared Kurt became, he was doubting us. Were we too young? Would we just end in divorce? He didn't know how to tell me that he wanted to wait, that he needed more time. Kurt was nineteen, things were moving too fast, and he freaked out. I had already cheated on him once, could he handle it if I did it again. He decided the best thing was to end us, instead of letting us fall apart. Before we went from loving each other to hating each other instead, he thought he could at least save our friendship. He told me he regretted the break up the minute it happened. He wanted to take it back, he didn't want to break up, and he wanted to tell me he had changed his mind. But I didn't go home that night. I was so heartbroken I just couldn't look at him right then, so I stayed in a motel room, crying my eyes out.”

“The next morning, when I knew he would be in school, I went back to the apartment we were living in, packed my stuff, and left. I refused to answer my phone when he called or respond to text messages. I was just so heartbroken I couldn't deal with him right then. I dropped out of NYADA and went home. Cooper, Kurt kept trying to talk to me, and I refused to listen to him, to give him a chance to explain what happened. But he never stopped trying. The first time I saw him after the breakup, before he realized I was dating Dave, he told me that he was going to fight for me, that he was going to get me back. I wasn’t ready to hear it yet. I couldn’t hear it yet. It’s funny how fate works against you sometimes. Time after time, I kept getting called back to McKinley by this person or that. I kept running into Kurt, and after a while, we started hanging out again. We started talking like we did back when we were just friends, back before we became boyfriends. It was nice. It was comfortable again. I had missed him. We almost fell back into place. It all felt so normal being with him again, because no matter what, I was still so very much in love with him, but I wasn't free., I was still with Dave.”

Blaine stops and looks at Cooper for a minute, running his hand through his hair, feeling like it was just yesterday. “We were having a party for Rachel one night. Her dads were selling her childhood home, and she was having a tough time dealing with everything going on. We all got together and decided to throw her a goodbye her childhood home party.”

“Kurt and I did a duet together, and all these old feelings started crashing in and scared the shit out of me. We talked, and when it was time for me to leave, I still don't know why I did it, but I kissed him. I was just so drawn to him. We had done our duet like we’d done so many times before, it brought back all the old feelings I had for him. I just pulled him to me and kissed him. I cheated on Dave. I went home, and couldn't hide it from him, somehow Dave knew something had happened, he asked me, and I had to tell him the truth, and he broke up with me.”

“I'm not really sure how he found out about Dave and me breaking up, but Kurt came to me right after that and begged me to take him back. He explained everything to me, why he had done what he did, why everything had happened. He begged me to give him another chance to take him back, but I just wasn't ready. I told him that we had broken up twice, there had to be a reason for that, and I told him that for now, we needed to stay broken up. I quit my job and moved to California without even telling him goodbye, I just left.”

“I don't know when it really hit me, to be honest. I don't know if it was after all of our fights, or when Bryce just stopped coming home. But I started really wishing I hadn't left Lima, left him, I needed him in my life Cooper, I missed my friend. He had forgiven me, he had taken me back after cheating on him after I had broken his trust, but I couldn't forgive him for being scared? I couldn't forgive him even after he told me everything, explained why he did what he did. I cheated, and he forgave me, but I couldn't forgive him for being honest with himself, doing what he thought at the time was the best thing for him and us.”

“I will spend the rest of my life trying to make that up to him for hurting him again. Yes, he hurt me, but that was partially my fault. If I had not been so insecure in his love for me, if I have gotten on a plane and acted like the man I always pretended to be, if I hadn't cheated, I don't think either break up would have happened. Most of the fault is with me.”

“Try to cut him a little slack. I love that you love me Cooper and that you’re worried about me, but I was just as at fault as he was. What I did had consequences in both breakups. Please give him a chance, if not for him than for me. I really love him, Cooper. He’s the person I know I’m meant to spend the rest of my life with, and he makes me happy.” Blaine said looking at him.

“So, do you plan on asking Kurt to marry you?” Cooper asked him.

“No, I don't think I can do that again. I have been engaged twice and married once. I don't see myself doing either again. I will happily spend the rest of my life with him, but that…” Blaine answered, shaking his head feeling a little sad, because Kurt was the one he had always wanted to be married too, the one he had dreamed of spending his life with.

Thinking back to all the plans they had made curled up on his bed at Dalton, all the things they were going to do, the life they were going to have. Life had seemed so much easier, but now he just didn't know if he could do it again. In every dream he’d ever had, it had always been Kurt. But life has so many twists and turns, and sometimes the curveballs thrown at you can't be avoided. He trusted Kurt with everything he had, but he no longer had the best opinion of marriage.

“Have you told him that?” Cooper asked.

“No, I am not ready to get into that with him yet,” Blaine answered.

“Blaine, you know I haven't been a Kurt fan, but if you love him and you want to spend the rest of your life with him, then don't shut yourself off. Give it time. I know how things worked out with Bryce, but that wasn't Kurt. If you feel strong enough to let him back into your life, into your daughter's life, maybe you should wait and make that kind of decision later,” Cooper said.

Blaine just laughed a little “You know what’s funny? Before we left New York, he almost said the same thing. Not about marriage, but about making important decisions. He said not to make any right now, give myself time to grieve for my friend.”

“Well, he might be smarter than I gave him credit for,” Cooper laughed, pulling Blaine into a hug “What did the folks say about it?”

“To be honest, they are fine with it, and are happy for us. Also, in case you missed it, Sere is crazy about him, and he is so good with her,” Blaine said with a smile on his face.

“Well, squirt, if you’re happy, then I’m happy for you. But if Kurt hurts you again, I’m going to hurt him. I just need you to understand that, Blaine. You have been through too much already,” Cooper said, sounding and looking very much like the protective older brother he had always been.

“Thanks Coop, but don't forget he’s been hurt too. I’m hoping now that we are older, we can learn to communicate better. We both know what it feels like to be apart from each other, and we know it's not something we ever want to happen again, life without each other isn't worth it.” Blaine said with a soft smile on his face.

“So, where do you go from here? What are your plans?” Cooper asked as they walked back in the living room and sat down, Blaine beside Kurt and Cooper across from him.

“I’m still working through a lot of that, but I know I want out of California, I want out of that apartment. I don't even like walking in that door anymore. I went to New York, and Coop, the apartment is amazing. I’m going to sell the one here and move back to New York. I like the idea of being close to mom and dad and Kurt, of course.” Blaine said, smiling at Kurt, placing his hand on Kurt’s knee and gently squeezing it. “I want to get Sere away from all the cameras. It makes me really nervous, having someone in her face all the time.”

“So, you are done with acting then?” asked Cooper, looking surprised.

“Yeah, I'm done. I had already decided that when I went to the people's choice awards, but since Bryce died and there are so many people all the time following me, I definitely want out. I'm tired of feeling like I'm living in a fishbowl, you know. 'Always' was fun because I was working with you and Bryce, but towards the end, even that wasn't as much fun.”

“Unfortunately, I have one more commitment I have to do, and then I'm done with all that. I want to go back to a normal life again, whatever that might be,” Blaine answered, pulling Sere onto his lap when she starts reaching for him.

“So how is it going with the Mitchell's have you heard anything more from them?” Cooper asked

“Oh yeah, they’re going to fight for Sere. They decided that they want custody. I found out from dad they had had me followed the whole time I was with Bryce, trying to get proof that I was cheating on him, which to me is hilarious since he was the one doing the cheating,” Blaine said pulling Sere a little closer to him, holding her a little tighter. She turned around and smiled at him. She somehow always seemed to know when he needed her.

“Ok, we need to head out. We’re going to London later today. I need to clean out Shey's old apartment. Dad said her lawyer thinks he knows someone interested in buying it” Blaine said, standing up with Sere still in his arms.

Cooper walked over to him and pulled Sere into his arms holding her for a few minutes before placing a kiss on her cheek “Take care of daddy for me baby girl, and I'll see you when you get back.” he said handing her back to Blaine “You be careful little brother, and I know it's hard, but try not to worry you know dad isn't going to let anything happen to her, we have this” he said pulling Blaine into a hug.

“And Kurt, it was good seeing you again, ” he said, looking at Kurt. Cooper was still nervous about him being back in Blaine's life, but Blaine was an adult, and he was the only one who could make that decision.

“It was good seeing you again too, Cooper,” Kurt said before turning around and following Blaine out of the door.

They walked outside, and Blaine reached down and grabbed Kurt's hand. It wasn't something he usually did in public even now, but he just needed to feel the connection with Kurt for a few minutes. Trying to shake the feeling of possibly losing Sere.

When they got to Blaine's apartment, Kurt fed Sere a jar of baby food, while Blaine went into her room to pack a suitcase for her. He decided to only pack enough diapers in her diaper bag to get them to the motel, and then he would just buy more there. He wanted to make sure he had enough room for clothes, and the bear that had been given to her by her mother, she wouldn't sleep without it.

He smiled, looking at the picture of Shey and Sere sitting on her little dresser. He had picked it up when they had gone to Shey's apartment right after she had died. He couldn't believe just how much his little girl had grown and changed. He was hoping to find more pictures of Shey and Sere together so that later she would have them, also wanting to take some pictures of her in the apartment she lived in when she was born. He next went into his room to pack a bag for himself. He cringed just walking through the door. He usually avoided going there except to shower and change clothes. He walked into his closet and pulled out his suitcase and carry on. He carried them both to his bed and opened them up, and then went back to his closet and started pulling at the clothes he decided to take with him.

He went into his bathroom next and grabbed out his toiletry bag, making sure all the bottles inside it were full before grabbing it, his brush and hair product, and carrying them back to his room to get them ready to pack in his suitcase. He wasn't really looking forward to this trip at all. But he knew it was something he needed to do.

As he walked to his dresser to grab out clean underwear, he noticed the manila envelope still sitting on top. He had never even taken the time to open it up. When he had gotten home, he had still felt so hurt and raw. He just stuck it on his dresser and didn't think any more about it. He slowly picked it up and walked over to the bed, sitting down with it for the first time since he had left for Morocco. He hadn't liked even being in this room.

He opened the envelope up and dumped everything in it on the bed. The first thing he saw was Bryce's wedding ring as it rolled out. He picked it up and looked at it, thinking back to when he had snuck out of their motel room to go to the jewelry store to try to find them a ring. He had wanted them to have one to exchange at their wedding. The store didn't really have what he had been looking for, but he figured he would just replace them with something better for their first anniversary. They never even came close.

He stared at the ring, and in that instant, he knew that Bryce hadn't been wearing it the day he died. The watch and necklace he had, had on that morning, the ones he never took off were in a clear plastic baggy keeping them safe, this ring would have been in the baggy with them if he had.

Looking next at Bryce's wallet, Blaine knew that that was where the ring had normally been kept. Even if it had been taken off for a scene he was in, that didn't explain why the outside of the wallet had a worn place in the leather, a worn place that was the same size and shape of Bryce's ring. He probably only ever put it on when he was coming home. Heaven forbid someone should see the ring on his finger and know he was married. Blaine looked down at his hand. His ring was still there. He hadn't taken it off once since Bryce had put it on him the day they got married. He slowly raised his hand, looking at it one more time before slowly slipping it off his finger. It was time. He didn't know what to do with the rings, so for now, he decided to just put them in the change bowl he had on his dresser.

Blaine walked back over to the bed and sat down, picking up Bryce's wallet, he ran his finger around the circle indention, shaking his head. So much wasted time, he thought with a sigh. He opened up Bryce's wallet, something he had never done before. He had never even been tempted to look in it. Even now, knowing he was dead, it still felt like an invasion of privacy. Blaine found a picture of Shey in the very front. It was bent and crinkled like it had been taken it out a lot and looked at. Blaine next found a picture of Bryce and another girl together when they were young. Blaine figured that was probably Jennifer. She looked really sweet. He found several hundred dollars cash and several credit cards he knew he would need to pass on to Mr. Garrison to have canceled. What got his attention, though, was a folded piece of paper in the back of the wallet, it merely said the National Bank of Hollywood c639, and he wondered what it meant. There was no other information with it. Something else he needed to check into, he thought sighing again.

Standing up and putting everything back in the envelope, Blaine placed it back on the dresser and walked over to Bryce's side of the bed, and for the first time, he opens Bryce’s nightstand drawer. He found a key ring with several keys and one being for the BMW and Mustang, and one that looked like the elevator key for the New York apartment. Sitting the keyring on top of the nightstand, Blaine closes the drawer and stands up. He doesn’t have the energy to look into it further, wondering just how many more secrets might lie inside.

Blaine finishes packing his bags, picks them up, and walks back into the living room, back to Kurt and Sere. He was ready to get this over with, ready to move on with his life, wondering when and if he would ever feel normal again.

oOoOo

By the time they landed at Heathrow and had made it through customs Blaine wished he had left Sere at home with his mom. Not that her fussing was getting on his nerves, he just knew that she was uncomfortable, and it was his fault. He had been selfish, bringing her with him in a way. He had initially planned on leaving her with his mom. She would have been a familiar setting, she would have been comfortable, and she would have already been in bed. Blaine had just not been able to leave her. She was changing so much right now, and with everything going on with the Mitchell's, he wanted to spend as much time as he could with her.

When they had gotten off the plane, Blaine had put Sere in her stroller, something she usually liked, but not this time. It was passed the time she usually went to bed, she’d been confined to a seat for eight long hours, and she was over it. He knew she was about to have a meltdown, and he couldn't blame her. Blaine pushed the stroller as far to the right side as he could, trying to make sure he wasn't blocking the walkway and then walked around, so he was in front of the stroller and squatted down in front of her.

“What's wrong baby, can you stay in your stroller for a few more minutes for daddy? I’ll get you out soon, I promise,” he said, leaning over to kiss her on her forehead.

“Dada,” she said and started crying more, her little fist balling up.

It broke his heart because he knew this was his fault. “Ok, baby, shh daddy will get you out.” Blaine reached out and unbuckled her, and she almost dove into his arms, he just held her little body tight snuggling his nose into her little neck

“Ok baby daddy has you shh,” he whispered in her ear standing up and just holding her for a minute, listening as her little cries turned into hiccups, rubbing his hand up and down her little back, “shh sweet girl, daddy has you,” he said rocking her for a few minutes.

When she finally calmed down, Blaine slid the diaper bag off of his shoulder and placed it on the seat of the stroller.

“I can push our carry-ons if you can handle her and the stroller,” Kurt said, walking up to them with a soft smile on his face, reaching out to rub his hand across Sere's back gently

“Thanks, Kurt, I know I should have left her home, I just couldn't do it,” Blaine said with a sad smile looking at Kurt.

“Hey, nothing to think me for, and you did what you needed to do. If you hadn't brought her with you, you would have been miserable the whole time, and Sere probably would have been too. I think once we get her fed and ready for bed, she’ll be fine.” Kurt said, leaning over and placing a kiss on first Sere's cheek and then Blaine's.

“Let's get through customs, get our luggage and get out of here,” Blaine said, feeling better. Kurt had always had a way of making everything ok. He wanders for the hundredth time how he had survived without him, never wanting to find out again.

A/N: I didn't get as far into London on this chapter as I thought I would, but Blaine had some issues he needed to deal with first. But they are in London so next up Shey's apartment. Thanks for reading, and all comments are appreciated. Thanks


	20. Miscommunication

A/N: Thank you to my awesome beta JayhawkWrites, for correcting my mistakes. Also smut warning for the end of the chapter. Sorry, it took so long to get a chapter posted, but I hope you like it. Thanks for the reviews I have gotten on this story, they are very much appreciated.

oOoOo

Blaine couldn't believe he was finally in London with Kurt; this had been one of the places he had always dreamed of bringing him. When Blaine had first asked Kurt to marry him, he had started planning their perfect honeymoon. Blaine had intended for them to spend a week in London and then spend two weeks in Paris. He had spent a lot of time making plans, things he had hoped they could share. Blaine had sat for hours thinking about how Kurt's face would look when he finally realized where they were going; he had gotten so excited just thinking about Kurt’s reaction. It was still kind of sad to him that they hadn't made it.

By the time the three of them were able to grab their luggage and make it through customs, they were all dragging, and Sere was barely holding it together. It was past her usual bedtime, and she hadn't even eaten her supper yet. Blaine just kept whispering in her ear, rubbing her back, and gently rocking her.

Kurt managed to hail them a cab, and they were soon on their way to the motel where they would be staying. Blaine had wanted something close to Shey’s apartment, but didn’t want to go to the motel he had stayed at with Bryce, so he had chosen Park Plaza County Hall. Blaine had stayed there when he came to London at sixteen with his parents. He liked the location and its proximity to the different places he hoped he would be able to take Kurt.

Blaine knew this wasn’t technically a trip for pleasure, but this was the first time Kurt would be in London, and he wanted him to be able to do a little sightseeing before heading home. He planned for them to spend more time in Paris, than London though, because out of the two, he knew that Paris was the one place Kurt had always wanted to go, and he so wanted to share that with him. He wanted them to explore all the different places Kurt had said he wanted to go.

“Blaine, this room is amazing!” Kurt said, walking over to the window and getting his first real view of London at night.

Blaine walked up beside him and wrapped his free arm around Kurt’s waist. “I always loved the way they light the Eye up at night,” He said, pulling Kurt a little closer.

From the window of their room, the London Eye could be seen, and with it being nighttime, it was lit up in red and was beautiful. Kurt just stood there, staring out of that window, and Blaine stood there staring at Kurt. He sometimes still can’t believe that he has Kurt back in his life again. Blaine had learned that he couldn’t live without Kurt; well, he didn’t want to. He needed Kurt like he needed air to breathe.

When Sere started to fuss, it pulled Blaine back from his thoughts, “I know, sweet girl, I’m going to order us dinner, and then we can get you in bed. You did so good today,” Blaine said, placing a soft kiss on top of Sere’s head.

“Do you want me to order dinner while you get her ready?” Kurt asked, looking at Blaine.

“Would you mind? I can go ahead and get her bathed, and in her pajamas, that way, once she has eaten, she will be ready for bed.” Blaine answered, feeling dead tired himself.

“No, I don’t mind, go take care of her, I’ll get some food ordered for us,” Kurt said, placing a kiss on first Sere’s cheek and then Blaine’s.

Watching as Blaine walked away from him, Sere in his arms, Kurt feels a sadness wash over him. If only he could go back and change so many things in their past, he would. Kurt would change the decisions he had made that, at the time, seemed so right, only to find out just how wrong they were. He was glad he had Blaine back in his life, but Kurt knew that he had lost part of the boy Blaine used to be, the boy that he had fallen in love with, and he would never be able to get that back.

Blaine had changed so much over the last year. He wasn't the same happy, go, lucky person, Kurt had known. Blaine no longer had that carefree smile on his face, that had always gone straight to his eyes. There was an innate sadness in Blaine that had never been there before, a sadness that he couldn't hide. Yes, they were back together, but the things Blaine had gone through had changed him.

Kurt slowly walked over to the room service menu, looking through it, deciding what to order for the three of them. One thing he had learned spending time with Blaine again, was what he usually ordered or fixed Sere for dinner, and had to laugh. When Blaine had been in high school, his go-to meal had been chicken strips with a side of Mac and Cheese. It brought a smile to his face thinking back to that. Kurt would fuss at him, and Blaine would smile his beautiful smile looking at him.

"_ Kuurrt, chicken is protein. The macaroni is made from flour; flour is made from wheat, which automatically makes it part of the bread family, aaannnndd the cheese in it is dairy. So see, a well-rounded meal _ ." Blaine would always say laughing and then would usually kiss Kurt until he forgot what they were even talking about, to begin with, much less the fact that the orange powdered ' _ cheese _ ' was in no way dairy _ or _ cheese.

Kurt stood there with a smile on his face, with memories flooding back to him. They used to be so close. Blaine was the one person who had always seemed to know what Kurt needed or just wanted without Kurt having to say a word, and, if Blaine could, he would move heaven and earth to get it for him. Kurt remembers the day he had found out that he hadn't made it into NYADA. Kurt had gotten so depressed, and without him having to say a word, Blaine had shown up with a pint of Kurt's favorite double mint chocolate chip ice cream at midnight. He had driven two hours, at night, just so that he could cheer Kurt up.

They had stayed up all night talking. Blaine had just kept saying that they would figure something else out, that it wasn't the end, it was just a new, unplanned beginning and then had pulled him tight just holding him. Blaine had always seemed to know what to say to make everything ok again.

Blaine had also been the one to convince Kurt to go on to New York. He had known that staying in Lima would have killed Kurt inside. Blaine had pushed his feelings aside, so he could support Kurt, help him make the best decisions. Kurt had been so scared, but Blaine had reassured him that he was ready, he would be ok.

Kurt had looked at Blaine and asked: “_ what about us? _”

To Kurt, it had felt almost like an ending, like Blaine was pulling away from him. Blaine had just looked at him with a smile, reaching out to take his hand, and said, "_ In a year, I'll be there too, but, right now is your time, you're ready _." Blaine had been so sure of them, so confident in their love, so sure also, that in a year, they would be back together, and everything would get back to normal.

He had made some really dumb decisions and hurt the most important person in his life. Kurt was glad that he had a chance to try to repair some of the damage he had caused. But in his heart, he knew that nothing would ever really be the same between them again. Some damage just couldn't be repaired, no matter how much you might want it to be. Listening to Sere laughing from the bathroom reminded Kurt he was supposed to be ordering their dinner.

Kurt opens the room service menu and can only smile. He quickly ordered Sere’s chicken strips and macaroni and cheese and a carton of milk, but also ordered her some fresh fruit to go with it. What he sees next on the menu makes him smile even more. When Kurt and Blaine would go out for their date night at breadstix, they would always order two entrees and would split them. Kurt would order the lasagna with a salad, and Blaine would order chicken parmigiana and his beloved Mac and Cheese.

With a smile on his face, Kurt quickly ordered their food. When he hung up the phone, he walked back over to the window, looking at the view of London at night. It was breathtaking. Kurt was happy to be here, and yet sad at the same time. The next couple of days, he knows will be hard for Blaine. When Blaine and Bryce had first found out about Shey's death, Blaine had felt bad for Bryce but had no other feeling about it, only finding out later that Shey was the sister he never knew he had.

Kurt turned around when he heard Blaine walk back in the room, noticing just how tired he looked. "Why don't you let me take her so you can go take a shower, they said dinner would be here in about fifteen minutes."

“That will be heavenly if you’re sure,” Blaine said walking over to him.

“I’m sure, go... I’ll call you if the food gets here before you get out,” Kurt answered reaching out to take Sere, and smiled when she happily came to him.

“Kurt, is something wrong?” Blaine asked, looking at Kurt’s face, he was getting a weird vibe off of Kurt

“No, nothing’s wrong,” Kurt said with a soft laugh that didn’t fool Blaine at all. Something was wrong, and he knew it.

“Kurt, are you sure?” Blaine asked again, reaching his hand up to gently stroke Kurt’s cheek. He had gotten good over the years at being able to recognize Kurt’s moods. Blaine used to spend endless time just studying Kurt. He knew something was wrong.

“Blaine, I promise everything is ok, now go. Sere and I have some quality time we are missing because you won’t go take a shower,” Kurt said, but for whatever reason, he wasn’t able or at least wouldn’t meet Blaine’s eyes. He decided that he would give him time.

“Thank you,” Blaine said, leaning in to place a sweet kiss on Kurt’s lips. He didn’t know what was wrong, but Kurt just seemed a little off now. Kurt had seemed fine before Blaine had taken Sere to bathe her. He would wait to ask him again after she was asleep, and they could spend a little quiet time alone talking.

That was one of the things Blaine had missed from his and Kurt’s relationship when they had first gotten together. The way they could talk about anything and everything, nothing was off-limits. After Kurt had left for New York, things changed. Now, they seemed to be getting back to where they were in the beginning. He didn’t want to fall back into the old routine where he was afraid to anger or push Kurt and Blaine would let things build-up. He wanted to face things as they came now. If their relationship was going to make it this time, they had to be honest with each other.

Blaine took his time in the bathroom. He shaved and then stepped in the shower, letting the hot water relax his tired muscles. Blaine had just stepped out of the shower and had wrapped a towel around his hips, when he heard a soft knock on the bathroom door.

“Blaine, dinner’s here,” he heard Kurt say on the other side of the door. Shutting the door was also something he never used to do when he was with Kurt. Blaine had started shutting the door when he was still with Bryce. Why he had done it tonight, he didn’t know. There was nothing about himself that he would ever want to hide from Kurt again.

Blaine walked over and opened the door, and watched as Kurt’s eyes went from his head to his toes, looking Blaine over. Since they had gotten back together, this was the closest Blaine had been to being naked around Kurt. Watching Kurt’s reaction to his body made him feel better about himself. With everything Bryce had put him through, he had lost a lot of the self-confidence that he had once had.

“Wow,” was all Kurt said, not once taking his eyes off of Blaine’s very exposed form.

“Hi,” Blaine said, walking up to Kurt, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close. Slowly lowering his head, he gently kissed Kurt on his lips. Just when he was about to deepen the kiss, feeling Kurt hard against him, he heard Sere start to cry. Leaning back, looking into Kurt’s eyes, he could do nothing but whisper “later.” He was so hard, and the towel around his waist did nothing to cover up that fact up.

“Oh yeah, later,” Kurt whispered breathlessly with a smile, reaching down to adjust himself before turning around and going back into the living room area. He had left Sere buckled into the high chair when he went to let Blaine know dinner was here.

Blaine stood there watching first as Kurt adjusted himself in his pants, and then walk away. Blaine hadn’t been this turned on in a while. Now that he felt comfortable again about exploring the physical side of their relationship, he couldn’t seem to think of anything else. Right now he longed to sink into Kurt’s warm body again. Blaine knew they were both too tired for anything like that tonight, but maybe they could explore other things. He knew before they went to sleep tonight, though, they needed to talk. Blaine needed to understand what had been going on inside Kurt’s beautiful mind earlier and why he had suddenly looked so sad.

Shaking his head, Blaine dug through his suitcase and pulled out a pair of pajama bottoms and one of his old T-shirts. He quickly dressed and then headed back to the other room to join Kurt. He stopped, unable to breathe at the sight in front of him. Kurt was standing at the window holding Sere, pointing out things to her talking to her softly and occasionally placing soft kisses on her cheek. Showing her more love and attention than Bryce ever did.

He watched as Sere would look at where Kurt was pointing and then would look back at Kurt with a look of almost awe on her face. Blaine’s heart filled with so much love standing there watching the two people he loved more than anything in this world interacting together. In this room ** _was_ ** Blaine’s world, and he couldn’t have been happier.

While Blaine stood there watching them, he didn’t notice that Sere saw him until she laughed, looking at him. “Dada,” she said before turning around to face the window again, pointing.

“What do you see, my sweet girl, huh? What has Kurt been showing you?” Blaine asked walking up to them, standing behind Kurt and wrapping his arms around him.

“Tell Dada that we have been watching the Eye go round and round. We saw a double-decker bus and saw a bunch of people in ridiculous outfits,” Kurt said once again kissing Sere on the cheek before turning around in Blaine’s arms, leaning in to place a kiss on his lips. “Ready for dinner so that we can put this little girl to bed?” Kurt asked before slowly pulling away from Blaine, walking over to the high chair, and strapping her back in.

Watching Kurt walk away from him, Blaine got the feeling again that something was off. He knows that he will not be able to sleep until he finds out what is wrong, but for now, he puts it to the back of his mind as he walks over to the table and sees what Kurt had ordered for their dinner. He could do nothing but stare Kurt had remembered.

Blaine started feeding Sere, trying to get her to eat, even though her eyes kept trying to shut the whole time. He managed to get her to eat a chicken strip and a few bites of macaroni and cheese, and that was it. Giving up, he gently pulled her out of her chair and started rocking her while singing her the song he had written for her. Before he even made it to the chorus of the song, she was out like a light.

Blaine slowly stood up and walked with her to the portable crib they had brought with them, thankful that Kurt had thought to put it up while he was bathing Sere. It was nice to have someone else willing to help out in caring for her. That was something he really wasn’t used to. Other than his mom and dad, Blaine had been Sere’s only caregiver since the day he had decided he wanted that little girl. Bryce had never even tried. Laying her down, Blaine makes sure she is covered up, before walking back over to the table to finish eating.

“I can’t believe you ordered me macaroni and cheese, Kurt,” Blaine said, looking at Kurt

“How could I not? I know how crazy you used to be about it, even though I still feel like it’s junk food,” Kurt said with a soft smile on his face.

“_ But, Kuurrtt _.” Blaine started to say only to be interrupted by Kurt.

“I know _ protein, bread, dairy _, most of the food groups on one plate. But I still think that powered junk that comes in a box can’t, in any way, be classified as cheese,” Kurt said with a soft laugh.

“Wow, Kurt. When did you get to be so snobby, huh?” Blaine asked, laughing back, enjoying the camaraderie they had always shared. He missed this more than he realized.

“Hey, when it comes to food, I have always been a snob. Do you remember nothing?” Kurt laughed before he realized what he said and then blushed and started to eat.

Just like they did when they were dating, they split their meal in half and shared it. But just like before, Kurt wasn’t interested in eating any of the Mac and Cheese, saving it all for Blaine. After finishing his dinner, Blaine looked at Kurt deciding he had waited as long as he could to find out what was going on.

“So, do you want to talk to me now?” Blaine asked, looking at Kurt taking a sip of his diet coke.

Kurt stopped mid-chew, looking at Blaine with an almost lost look on his face, “What are you talking about?” Kurt asked, setting his fork down. He looked down at his hands, once again not looking at Blaine.

“Kurt, please don’t do this. Please don’t shut me out. I _ know _you. I know you sometimes better than I know myself. I can tell when you have something on your mind. Talk to me, sweetheart. If something is wrong, let's talk about it to see if we can fix it,” Blaine said, starting to feel concerned. He had just gotten Kurt back, and he wasn’t ready to lose him again.

“We can’t fix it, Blaine. That is the problem, this is something that can’t be fixed,” Kurt said as a tear slowly started to run down his cheek.

Blaine was out of his seat in a heartbeat and on his knees in front of Kurt, trying to get him to make eye contact. “Kurt, please. There is nothing that we can’t fix together. There is nothing that could ever be that wrong,” Blaine said softly, bringing his hand up to cup Kurt’s face, forcing him to look at him. The look of devastation he saw in Kurt’s eyes took his breath away. _ No, No, No _ . _ I can’t lose him again. _ Blaine knows this time he won’t survive it.

“I was just thinking, you deserve so much better,” Kurt whispered, looking into Blaine’s eyes, seeing the hurt and concern he had put there once again.

“What are you talking about, Kurt? I don’t understand,” Blaine whispered back, looking back into Kurt’s eyes. Eyes he had always gotten lost in. “Talk to me, sweetheart, _ please _.”

“I just started thinking about everything that you have had to go through because of me. How much better off you would have been if you hadn’t met me. I don’t regret meeting you or loving you, Blaine. That isn’t what I mean at all. But look how your life turned out. All the heartache you have gone through because of me. You left a school you loved to follow me to McKinely. You left all your friends, a place where you shined and felt safe, especially after what happened to you at Carson.” Kurt paused to take a breath, knowing he needed to get all of this off of his chest if they had a chance to make their relationship work this time around.

“Then I started off thinking about everything you had to go through because of our breakups and subsequently what Bryce did to you. If it hadn’t been for me, for my stupidity, you never would have met him. If it wasn’t for me, he never could have hurt you. You didn’t deserve that! You didn’t deserve everything I put you through, and yet here you are, ready to give me another chance. _ You _ deserve so much better,” Kurt said, finally breaking down, his shoulders shaking.

“_ Ohh, Kurt _. When are you going to understand that there is nothing and nobody out there better for me than you? You are all I have ever needed. Yes, I tried to build a life with Bryce. I thought if I tried hard enough at it that Bryce and I could make it work. Kurt, you have to understand, though, there wasn’t a single day that I was with him, or away from you, I didn’t think about you. There wasn’t a single moment that I didn’t want to be back with you. On the night of what would have been our fourth anniversary, I got so very drunk. I had to put my phone in my sock drawer, because all I wanted to do was call you and beg you to take me back, to want me again. Don’t you have any idea how much I love you?” Blaine hoped he was getting through to Kurt. He so desperately needed the other man to understand how much he loved and needed him in his life.

“Yes, some really bad things happened, but one thing you aren’t thinking about is the good that happened too. If it hadn’t been for what happened between us, I wouldn’t have that beautiful little girl in there that I love with all my heart. I wouldn’t have even known she existed. I wouldn’t have her in my life, and I wouldn’t change that for the world. Because of you, I have this amazing daughter.” Yes, Blaine had to go through horrible heartbreak and so much anguish to get Sere, but he knew that there is no way he would have changed a second if it meant not having her in his life.

“Would I change the pain our breakups caused? Yes, in a heartbeat. Would I change the time I had to be away from you? Yes, but that is all I would change. I would never change the love I have for you, the need I have for you. Kurt, there is nothing better in this lifetime or the next that could _ EVER _ be better for me than you,” Blaine said, forcing Kurt to look at him, before slamming his lips against Kurt’s, needing him to feel what he was saying was the truth.

Blaine pulled his lips away long enough to look at Kurt, once again cradling his face in his hands. “I love you so much, Kurt. Please don’t ever doubt that; don’t doubt us. You are what I want, what I need. No one else could ever compare to you,” Blaine whispered, looking into Kurt’s beautiful eyes, before standing up and pulling Kurt with him.

“So beautiful,” Blaine whispered, leaning in and placing a soft, sweet kiss on Kurt’s lips. His kisses were gentle now, showing Kurt just how much he loved him. With his right hand, he cradled Kurt’s face, allowing his left hand to slide down Kurt’s side to his waist. Blaine pulled him as close to him as possible, not wanting to leave enough space for air to be between them.

“Come on,” Blaine said softly, looking in Kurt’s eyes before stepping back enough to grab Kurt’s hand, and guided him over to the bed. Blaine never took his eyes off of Kurt, wanting to make sure this was what he wanted as well. He reached his hands up and slowly started unbuttoning Kurt’s shirt, kissing over every inch of skin he exposed. Slipping the shirt down Kurt’s shoulders and tossing it on the chair beside the bed.Then was kissing him and slowly rotating his hips so his erection connected with Kurt’s.

“You are so beautiful. How could I have forgotten just how beautiful you are?” Blaine whispered in Kurt’s ear, kissing down his neck to his jaw, and then reconnecting his lips to Kurt’s. He slipped his tongue into his mouth, loving the taste that was pure Kurt. Blaine slowly ran his hands down Kurt’s back to his ass, squeezing it and pulling his hips closer, while once again thrusting his hips forward.

“Blaine, I need you so bad right now; please do something,” Kurt moaned, throwing his head back as Blaine’s lips left his and started gently kissing down his neck, to his shoulder gently biting down.

“What do you want, sweetheart? What do you want me to do?” Blaine whispered in Kurt’s ear, his voice gravelly with need.

“Make love to me. It’s been so long,” Kurt moaned out right before Blaine was attacking his lips again, deep and hard, thrusting his tongue back in Kurt’s mouth and chasing his, not able to get enough.

Blaine reached between them and unbuckled Kurt’s belt before unbuttoning and unzipping Kurt’s jeans. He slowly slid his hands under his waistband, down Kurt’s ass, gently squeezing before pushing his pants down. Blaine stepped back long enough to pull off his own T-shirt, pajama pants, and boxers before gently pushing Kurt back on the bed. He pressed Kurt down on the mattress, and then he pulled Kurt’s pants and boxers off, tossing them on the chair next to the bed.

Blaine walked away from Kurt long enough to grab his toiletry bag out of his suitcase. He brought it back over to the bed and pulled out the box of condoms and lube he had thought to buy before leaving New York. He knew they were heading this way and wanted to be ready when they were ready to take this step, no matter where or when it finally happened. Blaine pulled a condom out of the box and removed the plastic from the bottle of lube. He leaned over to place a slow, deep kiss on Kurt’s lips before crawling on the bed and settling between Kurt’s legs.

Squirting some lube on his hands, he slowly started prepping Kurt and taking his time. He knows how long it has been for Kurt and Blaine doesn’t want to rush this, even though the only thing he can think about is sliding into Kurt’s warm, tight body.

When Kurt started whimpering in the back of his throat and thrusting his hips up, Blaine knew without him saying a word that he was ready. He quickly tore the condom pack open and then rolled it down his hard cock. Squirting some more lube on his hand, Blaine rubbed some on himself, and coated more onto Kurt’s puckered hole. Lining himself up, Blaine started pushing forward, entering Kurt slowly even though everything in Blaine wanted just to thrust forward and be encased entirely in Kurt’s sweet body.

When he was finally all the way inside of Kurt, Blaine reached between them with a soft smile to grasp Kurt’s cock in his hand. He started moving it up and down Kurt’s shaft until he was hard again. Bracing himself on his forearms, Blaine leaned over so he could slowly kiss Kurt. He slowly started thrusting his hips, pulling almost out of Kurt’s body before slowly pushing himself back in.

Blaine was in heaven. He had forgotten just how amazing it felt to make love to Kurt. Blaine loved watching his reactions, seeing just how active Kurt was, making love to Blaine as much as Blaine was making love to him. Kurt didn’t just lay there; he gave Blaine as much as Blaine gave him. When Kurt wrapped his legs around Blaine’s waist and pulled him in further, he knew what Kurt wanted without him having to say a word.

Blaine sped up his thrust, popping his hips harder, faster; his balls slapping against Kurt’s ass. When Kurt unwound his legs from Blaine’s waist and firmly planted his feet on the mattress and started thrusting his hips up to meet Blaine faster, Blaine knew Kurt was close.

“Blaine, please,” Kurt moaned out, thrashing his head back and forth his mouth open.

“I have you, sweetheart,” Blaine said, reaching his hand between them and grasping Kurt’s cock in his hand, moving it up and down in rhythm with the thrust of his hips. Blaine leaned over and placed his mouth over Kurt’s right before Kurt would have screamed out. Blaine had always loved hearing the noises Kurt made when he was finally able to find his release; it had always turned him on so much to the point that if he weren’t there yet, Blaine would usually follow soon after. But Blaine knew they had to be quiet this time if he didn’t want Sere to wake up. If they were at home, it would be no problem because she would be in her room down the hall, but right now, she was in her crib across the room.

Blaine continued to thrust into Kurt until he could feel a tightening in his balls and a pull in his stomach, and he was soon coming, filling the condom while still buried deep inside of Kurt. Blaine leaned over and placed a sweet kiss on Kurt’s lips before slowly pulling out of his body. Blaine remembered how sensitive Kurt was after sex. Reaching down, Blaine pulled off the condom and quickly tied it off, throwing it in the trash can by the bed. Blaine laid back down beside Kurt, pulling him into his arms and peppering kisses all over his face until he tasted tears.

“Kurt, honey, are you ok? Was I too rough on you?” Blaine asked concerned, pulling Kurt even closer to him. Kurt had never cried after they had made love before.

“No, Blaine, you weren’t too rough. I had just forgotten that is all,” Kurt whispered, burying his face in Blaine’s neck, breathing in his scent.

“Forgotten what, sweetheart?” Blaine asked, worried now that he had done something wrong. Worried that maybe Kurt hadn’t wanted it after all. Those old doubts Bryce had given him came back full force. Had he misread Kurt?

“I had just forgotten how amazing making love with you was; how amazing you are at it,” Kurt whispered, running his finger across Blaine’s cheek. “I missed that so much. I missed you, Blaine, so much,” Kurt said as tears continued to slide down his face.

“I missed you too, sweetheart. I missed you more than you will ever know,” Blaine said back before kissing Kurt, putting as much emotion into that kiss as he could. Needing Kurt to understand once again what he meant to him.

“Kurt, what happened earlier, you were fine and then all of a sudden you seemed so sad. Please don’t say it was nothing. If we are going to make it, we have to be able to talk. I think that was a lot of our problems before. We talked, but we didn’t at the same time. I don’t want that to happen again. I don’t want us to bottle everything up until one of us explodes,” Blaine said, sitting up and turning so he could look at Kurt. They had discussed some of it after dinner, but Blaine felt there was more to it, that there was more going on.

Kurt slowly sat up too, leaning back against the headboard. “I don’t know really. I was happy we were here together, and even though I understand why we’re here, I just knew we were going to have an amazing time because we were here together. I started thinking about how much you have changed, and I realized I was the reason for that or at least part of that change, and it hurt,” Kurt said looking down at his hands not looking at Blaine

“What do you mean, I have changed Kurt? Because my love for you will never change, I will always love you,” Blaine said, looking at Kurt trying to understand.

“I started thinking back to the person you were when we first met. Your happiness and spontaneity was contagious. You laughed at the drop of a hat and jumped on furniture for god’s sake,” Kurt said, looking at him. “Since we got back together, I noticed you don’t smile as much as you used to. You don’t laugh as much anymore. To be honest, you seem so sad sometimes. I look over at you sometimes when you don’t think I am looking, and you just look so lost. And I realize that I am the cause of that. I was stupid, and because of that, look what it caused you, Blaine. I caused that Blaine, me, and I will never forgive myself for that,” Kurt answered, finally looking Blaine in the eyes.

“You’re right, Kurt. I do sometimes think of things and get sad, but not because of you, never because of you. Don’t you realize how much joy you bring into my life? Just you being in it and being able to spend time with you again? I’m sad because of the situation, not because of you. Please, Kurt, understand that, ok. I’m being completely serious, Kurt, we need to start talking to each other about the important stuff. That was part of our problem before. We would push things down, afraid of saying something that would make the other person mad. I know I did that a lot towards the end. I let things build up until they blew up. I don’t want us to do that ever again. If I say something or do something you don’t like, tell me about it, and I will do the same with you.” Blaine knew this was a pivotal moment in their lives, in their relationship. He knew that if they couldn’t fix this right here and now, they’d never be able to make their lives together work.

“We can’t be afraid to have the hard talks anymore, Kurt; _ we _ mean too much for that. If I have learned anything in the last year apart from you, I have learned that. What we have together is everything I could ever want from life, you, me, and Sere,” Blaine said, never meaning anything more.

“Ok, I will try. I know I let fear motivate me before; I don’t want ever to do that again. If I feel rushed or pushed into something I will tell you, I won’t let it build up as I did before our last break up,” Kurt said with a soft smile on his face.

“And that, sweetheart, is all I can ask for. Now then, why don’t we go take a shower, and come back and get our cuddle on. If I have it figured right, we have about four more hours before my beautiful daughter is going to be waking us up,” Blaine said, kissing Kurt, standing up and pulling Kurt with him towards the bathroom. Life was good, Blaine thought.

A/N: Park Plaza County Hall was the motel I stayed at when I visited London in September. The last night I was there, I got to see the Eye lit up all in red. It is a sight I will never forget.


	21. London

** _A/N: First off thank you to my amazing beta JayhawkWrites for all your wonderful suggestions, and fixing my million grammatical errors (Darn those comma’s lol). Thank you to everyone reading my story and for leaving reviews, suggestions, and Kudos. They all make my day. Stay safe._ **

oOoOo

Blaine woke up the next morning before Sere could wake him. He just lay there on his side, propped up on his elbow so he could look down at Kurt. He had forgotten just how beautiful he looked in the morning. Well, he looked beautiful anytime, to be honest. Waking up beside Kurt had always been one of Blaine’s favorite things. While they were in high school, they had never gotten the chance to spend the night together. Yes, they had managed to steal alone time, but he had never gotten to hold Kurt all night long. That is not until the week he and Sam had spent in New York when he was getting ready for his audition for NYADA.

He had been so nervous about going to New York, and not just about the audition. He was also nervous because he would be spending more time with Kurt than he had in a long time. They hadn’t been back together long, and he hadn’t been able to spend a lot of time with Kurt since they had gotten engaged. Blaine had proposed, and then he had gotten to spend only a few hours with Kurt while he was waiting for his flight back to New York. Kurt had wanted to stay a few more days, but between NYADA and Vogue, he had needed to go home. They had managed a few stolen hours here and there when Kurt would come back for Burt’s different doctor’s visits, but there had never been an opportunity for overnight visits.

That week he and Sam had visited New York had been magical and more perfect than Blaine ever thought was possible. He and Kurt had made love for the first time since getting back together. They were able to reconnect and find themselves again. Looking back, he remembers just how nervous he had been to visit. He had repacked his duffel bag at least fifteen times, trying to remember to pack the outfits Kurt had made comments about him wearing, wanting to make Kurt proud to have him as his fiancé. Things were good between them again, and Blaine had been so very nervous about messing that up. He finally felt like he had his life back and had never wanted to lose it again; he never wanted to lose Kurt again.

That week had shown Blaine how their life together could be, the way he hoped it would be. They separated in the morning so Kurt could go to school and then work, and Blaine and Sam explored New York. After dinner each night, when the apartment would get quiet, they would spend the night making love, or just cuddling with each other. When he had moved to New York after graduation, it had been better than he could have ever imagined and it was like they were already a family. Blaine would wake up early in the morning just so that he could make Kurt breakfast. He had always loved pampering him, and he had also wanted to make sure that Kurt had no regrets about taking him back and agreeing to marry him. 

Things had gone downhill very quickly after that. They were better than how they had been in high school, better than Blaine had ever thought that could be possible. Then it was over. One moment they had been happy and the next Kurt was waiting to come to bed only after he knew Blaine was asleep and getting up before Blaine woke up. Waking up beside Kurt had always been one of the best parts of Blaine’s day. His whole world had been wrapped around Kurt. He had never known it was possible to love someone that much. He had been happy, and then it was over.

Blaine shook his head to clear his thoughts. He refused to wallow in the past and let it bring him down now. Blaine was back with Kurt and Kurt was where he was meant to be, in Blaine’s arms again. He had no intention of letting him go. Blaine would fight for _ him _ , he would fight for _ them _. Mistakes had been made on both sides, but hopefully, they had both learned from those mistakes and had grown into stronger people because of them. 

One thing Blaine had learned was that even though he still loved Kurt with his whole being, Kurt couldn’t be his everything anymore. If the last year had taught him anything, it was that he had to be his own person. He couldn’t center his life around Kurt. That had cost him dearly the last time. He would be with Kurt, love him, and spend the rest of his life with him happily. Blaine’s main priority now and always would be Sere.

Blaine hadn’t realized that he was so lost in thought until he felt Kurt run a finger down his chest. He looked down into those blue eyes, and as always, he felt his heart skip a beat. You would think after almost five years of knowing and loving Kurt, he would be used to looking into those eyes, but nope, every time was like the first time.

“Blaine, are you ok?” Kurt asked in his husky, just woken up voice that always did things to Blaine.

“I’m fine, sweetheart,” Blaine said, pulling Kurt close to him so he was snuggling into his side and placing a kiss on Kurt’s soft lips.

“Are you sure?” Kurt asked again. When he had woken up, Blaine had been so lost in thought that he hadn’t realized that Kurt had been watching him for several minutes.

“I’m sure Kurt. Everything’s fine,” Blaine said, pulling Kurt a little closer to him, never wanting him too far away again.

“So, what time do you want to get started this morning?” Kurt asked before sitting up and then quickly lying back down with a sharp intake of breath.

“Kurt, sweetheart, are you ok?” Blaine asked, his voice full of concern.

Kurt just smiled. “I moved a little fast, umm, it’s been a while,” Kurt says looking at Blaine, arching one eyebrow.

“Ooh, yeah,” Blaine says with a sheepish grin. He was sorry that Kurt was hurting this morning, but wasn’t sorry for the reason behind it. They had both needed it, and even though Blaine had wanted to be gentle, in the end, Kurt wouldn’t allow it.

“So, yeah, someone is going to be walking slowly this morning,” Kurt said, smiling at Blaine.

“Well, we aren’t in any kind of a hurry,” Blaine said, leaning over Kurt to kiss him and rub his hand up and down Kurt’s bare chest. Just that touch had Blaine on fire again. The soft kiss he had started with soon became heated, and Kurt’s moans were going straight to Blaine’s cock.

Blaine leaned down even more so that he was almost entirely on top Kurt. They might not be able to do what he wanted to do right now, but there was still so much they _ could _ do. Blaine ran his hand down Kurt’s side and slid it between Kurt's ass and the mattress, gently squeezing and pulling Kurt’s hips towards him.

“I love you so much, Kurt... so much,” Blaine said, kissing him. Before long kisses and cuddles weren’t enough for them. Blaine slowly crawled on top of Kurt, still placing sweet kisses on Kurt’s lips. He gently started thrusting his hips down, allowing their hard cocks to rub together, giving them the friction the both needed so badly. Kurt opened his legs, allowing Blaine to shift to a better position. The added weight of Blaine’s body on top of him created more pressure on Kurt, making him feel so good Kurt moaned loudly.

“Sweetheart, I love you, and I love all the noises you make for me. It lets me know I am doing something right for you. But if you don’t stay quiet, little one over there is going to wake up, and we will both be left very uncomfortable,” Blaine said before attacking Kurt’s lips right when he was about to moan again. “I can tell you are going to be trouble,” Blaine said with a smile, thrusting his hips against Kurt a little harder. God, how he loved this man.

“I love you, I love you, I love,” Kurt chanted softly, thrusting his hips up and meeting Blaine thrust for thrust. Kurt began moving faster under him, and for Blaine, this had always been such a turn on. Kurt had always been an active participant in their lovemaking, no matter what they were doing and who was leading. He had friends who talked about how their lovers would just lay underneath them, not really moving. That had never been _ his _ Kurt. His Kurt had always given as good as he got. He had always wanted Blaine to feel as good as he did, and Blaine always had. 

Kurt grabbed Blaine’s ass and pulled their bodies together harder, encouraging Blaine to move just a little faster. Seconds later, he made an almost guttural moan, and Blaine knew Kurt had found his release. Blaine continued rocking his hips into Kurt, placing soft kisses on his face, until he finally found his own release and almost cried. Every time with Kurt was perfect. Every time seemed to be just a little bit better than the time before, and every day Blaine fell just a little more in love with the precious man under him.

Propping himself on his forearms, Blaine continued to kiss Kurt softly all over his face. He didn’t want to move away from Kurt. He didn’t ever want to lose this connection, this closeness. Blaine knew very soon real life was going to creep back in, and he would have no choice but to move away. 

“Morning, sweetheart,” Blaine said softly, looking into Kurt’s eyes and placing one more soft kiss on his lips before sliding back off of him. “Have I ever told you just how very much in love with you I am?” Blaine whispered, laying his head on Kurt’s chest, tracing small circles on Kurt’s skin with his finger.

“I love you, too, Blaine, more than you will ever know. I will spend my life making sure you know that. I never want you to have a moment of doubt as to how I feel about you. If I learned anything this last year, it’s that living without you in my life isn’t really living at all. I was just going through the motions. I never want you to doubt how much I need you in my life. I will spend every moment from now on letting you know what you mean to me. I never want to face a life without you in it again. I love you so much,” Kurt said, leaning down to place a kiss on top of Blaine’s head.

“I love you, too, sweetheart, and I will happily spend the rest of my life letting you know just how much,” Blaine said. He was straightening up so that he could kiss Kurt again when he heard movement from the crib, and Sere saying “dada.” One of the many things he loved about his little girl was that she very rarely woke up crying. She was such a happy little girl. “What is it, baby girl?” Blaine asked, placing one more kiss on Kurt’s upturned lips before standing up, walking over to the crib and pulling his little girl into his arms. Thankfully, they’d put boxers on last night before they’d fallen asleep. The downside now was that he was all sticky inside them. That would need to be the first thing he took care of after getting Sere all changed and settled.

Still holding Sere, Blaine walked over to her suitcase and pulled her out a clean outfit and diaper for today. He carried her over to the bed, laid her down, quickly cleaned her up, and then dressed her. “I figured today if you were interested, we can play tourist since we are all still a little jet-lagged. Then we could go to the apartment and knock it out tomorrow,” Blaine said, looking over at Kurt for a moment, before picking Sere back up into his arms, snuggling her close. Sometimes he could still not believe he had this precious little girl in his life. He had always thought his life was complete, and he didn’t realize how wrong he was until he had her.

“Sounds good. Do you want me to watch her while you take a shower, or should I go ahead?” Kurt asked as he watched Blaine with Sere. It always amazed him how wonderful he was with her. Kurt had always known Blaine would be a good dad just by how he treated everyone else. Nothing could have prepared him for just _ how _amazing Blaine would be, though. He remembered all the long conversations they had had, especially when they first became a couple and were first learning each other. They had decided that when the time came they wanted two kids. Kurt had loved his life but had always wished growing up that he had a sibling. When his dad married Carol, he had gained Finn but had always wished he had been there when he was growing up.

Blaine agreed on having at least two children, but he wanted them kind of close together. He had grown up with Cooper, but Coop had been eight years older than Blaine so they were never really that close. They loved each other, and they both knew that, but he had always wished they could have been closer in age. It wasn’t until Blaine became an adult that they were able to really connect with each other.

“Why don’t you go ahead and I’ll take mine when you get out,” Blaine said, smiling when Kurt walked over to him so that he could kiss him.

“Ok, I’ll be out in a few,” Kurt said and walked to the bathroom. He knew that Blaine had to be uncomfortable, so he wanted to make sure he was actually quick. 

Blaine could only smile at this. Kurt’s few minutes was generally about thirty. He would shower and then do his skin routine. Blaine couldn’t be too terribly upset, though, since it gave him alone time with Sere. He loves spending time with her in the morning when she first woke up. He felt like that was their special father-daughter time. This didn’t mean that he wouldn’t be spending the rest of his day with her, but the mornings, when she first woke up had always been his favorite time and something about it felt different than any other time of the day. During this time, he would hold her tight and sing to her.

When Kurt was ready, Blaine quickly showered and dressed. He packed a diaper bag for Sere, reminding himself that he needed to stop and buy diapers while they were out. He packed the ones he had left along with a couple of outfits for her and they were ready to go. They had decided instead of ordering room service this morning, they would go to the restaurant downstairs to eat instead. One of the things on Kurt’s ever-growing to-do list was a full English breakfast, and from the reviews that Blaine had read, the restaurant downstairs was supposed to offer a good one.

“Ready?” Blaine asked Kurt after looking around for the hundredth time that he had everything he would need for himself and Sere for the day.

“_ Yes _!” Kurt said with a big smile on his face. Blaine could tell how excited he was.

“Well, let's go then,” Blaine said, smiling back. Kurt's excitement was contagious. Blaine waited for Kurt to open the door and then pushed Sere in her stroller out into the hall.

When they got downstairs to the restaurant, they were both a little shocked by the amount of food that was available. There were coddled eggs, English and American types of sausage, baked beans, sauteed mushrooms, fresh tomatoes, porridge and oatmeal, fresh fruits and pastries. The hardest part about breakfast was trying to figure out what to eat first. While Kurt watched Sere, Blaine went up and fixed himself and Sere a plate and then watched Kurt’s face as he walked up to the bar. He remembered when they were in school, Kurt would always eat healthy and small portions. When Kurt came back to their table with his plate rounded up, Blaine could only smile.

“What?” Kurt asked between bites, enjoying his food.

“Nothing. Can’t I just like watching you?” Blaine said, leaning over and placing a kiss on Kurt’s cheek. They still didn’t do a lot of PDA, but Blaine just couldn’t stop himself.

Kurt had just smiled and continued eating. After breakfast, Blaine put Sere in her stroller and they headed out into the city. They had decided to walk today instead of taking taxis, plus one of the things Kurt had said he wanted to do was ride on the top level of a double-decker bus and take the underground.

They went to Westminster Abbey, saw Big Ben, and were both a little sad that the scaffolding was still around if from the work that was being done on the Elizabeth Tower itself. Since today wasn’t a special holiday or occasion, they also wouldn’t be able to hear the clock chime the time. Blaine decided in a few years, maybe when Sere was older, they would come back and experience the things they didn’t get to this time. After that, they hopped on a double-decker bus and rode it to Buckingham Palace. They managed to time their arrival just in time to see the changing of the guard, another thing on Kurt’s to-do list. It was on Blaine’s as well, and while he had done all of this before, he had never done it with Kurt by his side, and that made it feel almost new again.

While they were on that side of London, and since it was lunchtime, Blaine decided to check-off another thing from Kurt’s to-do list. He wanted to take him to eat real fish and chips. When Blaine had been here with his parents, they had eaten at Poppies. He had checked this morning and found out that they were still open, so they hopped on another bus and headed over there. 

They ordered their food and found a seat. So far, today had been a really good day. Blaine had loved London when he was here before, but seeing everything again through Kurt’s joyous eyes made it even more special and amazing.

“There’s something I have been meaning to ask you,” Blaine said, looking up at Kurt. “What happened to NYADA? The last I heard, once you got glee going again at McKinley, you were going back to New York to start your junior year. You haven’t mentioned anything about it. Is school ok with you missing so many classes?”

Kurt looked back at Blaine and he could see the hurt in Kurt’s eyes. Blaine almost wished now he hadn’t asked, but he had decided that if they were going to work, if they were going to be a couple, Blaine wasn’t going to shy away from potentially uncomfortable subjects anymore. If he had a question, he was going to ask. If something was wrong, he was going to talk to Kurt about it so that they could fix it. He didn’t want it to be like it was before, where they swept their problems under the rug. Blaine wanted to face everything head-on. Whatever problem came along, they would work on it then and there instead of letting it build up until it became too big, and potentially pulled them apart.

“I went back... and I tried to get back into school, back into my old classes. I tried going back to sparring class, you remember the one we were in together? I ended up dropping it after a week. I signed up for the summer master class with Layne Marceau, and the second year of theater history, but it just wasn’t the same,” Kurt said, looking at Blaine before looking down at his plate again.

“I remember when you first moved to New York, you were so excited to be able to get in the same classes as me. We had just had a horrible year apart and this was our chance to reconnect again. I had spent that first year in New York alone; first because of our breakup, and then waiting for you to graduate so you could join me. I had learned how to live alone and be my own person for the first time in my life. I’m not saying any of this to hurt you. I’m really not, but I went from a life controlled by my dad, and in some form by you, to doing things my way and living the way I wanted. I was finally able to be me.” Kurt desperately hoped he was making sense. This was something that was hard for him to think about, let alone talk about and convey exactly what he had been thinking and feeling.

“I loved being back with you and having you with me, but you ended up being in six of my classes, plus we were living together. I went from living on my own, minus Rachel, of course, to being part of an ‘us’ again. It was no longer where I just made decisions based on what I wanted; I now had to figure you in as well. You asked me in our first class together if I felt like you were smothering me, and I said no. But I did... I did feel like that. I think that might have been one of my problems as well.” It had taken Kurt a long time to figure all of this out. To figure out where their problems really started this time around. He just wishes he would have figured it out sooner and been able to talk about it instead of letting everything get out of control. 

“When I went back to New York after you said for now we needed to stay broken up, everywhere I looked, everywhere I went, you were there, and I missed you more than I ever thought possible. I had always known I loved you, but until you said goodbye and refused to get back with me, I guess I didn’t realize how much. There were all these old memories of you being with me no matter where I went or what I did. Being at school made me think about watching you in mime class and the faces you would make that would have me busting out laughing, causing me almost to get me kicked out of class.” Kurt knew he was rambling now. But he felt like everything he was saying was important and leading to something big.

“I went back there thinking I could just jump back into school, back into those classes like nothing was wrong; only everything _ was _ wrong. I missed you. I missed your goofy smile. I missed walking into a room and having you hug me tight. I kept trying for two months, but nothing was the same. I used to love going to school and going to my classes. Then all of a sudden, NYADA became a place I hated. I fought so hard to get into that school, and yet I couldn’t stand being there anymore and all of the classes I once loved I now hated. The apartment that I thought had to be set up ‘my way’ was suddenly cold and impersonal. I decided to drop out and concentrate on Vogue for a while,” Kurt said, wiping a tear off of his cheek.

“Oh, Kurt, I am so sorry. Why didn’t you tell me I was smothering you? Why did you say everything was ok? I could tell it wasn’t, but I guess I just wanted to keep living in my fantasy world where everything with us was still perfect; the way it was before you left for New York. I would have backed off. I would have changed classes. We had just spent that last year apart and I couldn’t stand the thought of being separated from you again,” Blaine whispered, looking at Kurt and wishing once again that they had talked.

“I guess I was afraid you would get upset. It wasn’t that I didn’t want you with me, because I did, but it was like there was never any ‘me’ time anymore. I remember telling Elliot that I felt like I was losing myself in you. I felt like I was losing my identity,” Kurt said, not looking up.

“Kurt, I wish you would have talked to me, not Elliot,” Blaine said, feeling sad about how Kurt had felt and how he didn’t think he could talk to him about it. He had known their relationship was fracturing but hadn’t realized just how badly. “Speaking of Elliot, what happened to your band?”

“Oh... that. I just couldn’t get into it anymore. I was no longer interested in signing us up for new gigs, or anything like that. He and Dani started their own band. He named it ‘Glitter Rock Vampires.’ He said that he got the name from you, actually. I never understood what he meant by that,” Kurt answered back

“Long story,” Blaine said, laughing, remembering the day he had busted into Elliot's apartment and accused him of trying to steal Kurt away from him.

Kurt just started laughing, “Ok, that is a story you are _ sooo _ going to have to tell me.”

“I will one day, I promise,” Blaine said, laughing, glad that the mood had changed back to how it was. He didn’t want to think or talk about their time apart again. Enough had been said about it for a lifetime, and he felt that they both had a better understanding of where they went wrong. He also knew in the depths of his soul that they wouldn’t allow themselves to get back to a place where they didn’t feel comfortable talking to each other. They were both committed to making this work this time around.

“Ok, speaking about burning questions... what happened between you and June Dollaway? I thought for sure she was going to keep your music career moving forward, especially since she loved your showcase,” Kurt asked, taking a sip of his water.

Blaine sat there looking at Kurt, wondering how to answer that question. He knew no matter what he said, Kurt would be hurt, but he needed to tell the truth. “There was something I never told you, Kurt. I told you that she didn’t want you to be part of the showcase, but what I didn’t tell you was, when I asked her to let you have even a small part, she told me no. She also said that if I screwed her over she would leave me like driftwood.”

“What?” Kurt almost yelled.

“Umm, that wasn’t the worst part. She wanted me to break up with you. She said, ‘You need to break that engagement.’ I told her no, that I loved you, that you were my life. She told me that that’s what humans do, we fall in and out of love and we break each other's hearts. I refused to do that, and she finally let it drop. Since she let it drop, I thought it would be the same thing with the showcase. I could keep asking her for you to be in it, and I would finally convince her to see it my way. The day before my showcase, I knew I was never going to change her mind. I was never going to convince her to see my side of it. So I did what I had to do. I finally told you the truth, and had you sing with me anyway,” Blaine said, looking at Kurt, hoping he would understand.

“So, you potentially gave up a career that we both know you would have loved, to have me sing with you that day, even after the way I acted,” Kurt said, looking at Blaine, not even shocked that he had done something like that for him. Blaine had essentially put his own career on the line to make _ him _ happy. That was just how Blaine was. He loved with his whole heart. He always gave his all in everything he did. Too bad, Kurt couldn’t always say the same.

“Like I said that day sitting out on that stoop, you were more important to me than anything. You were my whole life. I would have given up everything to keep you happy. I had lived for a while without you before, and I didn’t want to go through that again,” Blaine said, reaching out for Kurt’s hand and rubbing his thumb over Kurt’s knuckles.

“Until I made you,” Kurt whispered, looking at Blaine.

“Hey, no, don’t go there. We just have to take it all as a lesson learned so that we don’t make the same mistakes again, because as much as we’d like to, we can’t go back and change what has happened. We agree right now that if there is a problem, we talk to each other about it. Even if, like right now, it hurts or is uncomfortable. I would rather have a little hurt now then more in the future,” Blaine said, turning his hand, so he was holding Kurt’s, giving it a small squeeze, “Agreed?”

“Agreed,” Kurt answered back before leaning in and placing a kiss on Blaine’s lips.

“Ok, on with the next touristy thing on the list,” Blaine said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood back up.

“Ok, kind Sir. What’s the next stop in our adventure?” Kurt asked, laughing.

“Well, you wanted to take the underground, and I wanted to see platform 9 ¾, so I figured two birds, one stone,” Blaine said, giving Kurt a goofy grin.

“You’re still such a dork,” Kurt said, returning the grin.

“And you thought a year would have changed that? Kurt, I am so disappointed,” Blaine said, sticking out his bottom lip in a fake pout.

“I don’t know. Not change per se,” Kurt said, tilting his head sideways, laughing with a big smile on his face.

“Oh, my love, I will never change. Don’t you know me by now?” Blaine said, kissing Kurt, before holding out his hand and helping Kurt stand up.

Kurt was on cloud nine. Blaine always called him ‘sweetheart.’ He had called him that for the first time right after they became a couple, almost like Blaine had been waiting for a chance to be able to say those words out loud. It had always melted Kurt’s heart a little when he did, but Blaine very rarely called him ‘my love.’ When he did, though, Kurt knew beyond a shadow of a doubt he meant it. It wasn’t just words he would use or a phrase he said. Today was the first time since they had gotten back together that Blaine had called him that, and Kurt just wanted to be somewhere alone with Blaine, so he could show him just what those words had meant to him.

When they left the restaurant, they walked about ten minutes to Piccadilly Circus Station. Kurt wanted to ride the underground, and this seemed like the perfect time. They were sitting down on the train when all of a sudden, Kurt started laughing. “Oh, my god. That’s what that means,” Kurt said, continuing to laugh, not caring how many people were watching him.

“What what means?” Blaine asked, unable not to join Kurt in his laughter, even though he didn’t know what he was laughing at, or why they were laughing.

“Mind the gap,” Kurt said, laughing even harder.

“Oook,” Blaine had heard the announcement ‘mind the gap’ at every station that they stopped at, but couldn’t figure out what had Kurt laughing so hard about it. He wasn’t complaining though. He enjoyed watching Kurt laughing, especially after the conversation they had had at lunch. His laugh was one of Blaine’s favorite sounds in the world.

“In New York, I’ve seen people walking around with these T-shirts on. They had the underground emblem, with the words ‘mind the gap’ under it. I swear I thought it was something sexual and was like oook, they’re proud. Now, I know.” Kurt said, still laughing, only now with a blush spreading across his face.

Blaine just stared at Kurt for a minute, his mouth hanging open before pulling Kurt into a tight hug, laughing, “Only you, Kurt, only you,” Blaine said, shaking his head.

“_ Well _,” Kurt said with a big grin on his face.

They got off the underground at Kings Cross Station, went down a few levels until they got to the store platform 9 ¾. Blaine was in heaven. He had always been a big Harry Potter fanatic and always wanted to come here. When Blaine had been in London with his parents, he hadn’t known about the store. When he had come with Bryce, it hadn’t been the right time for this type of store. He spent an hour just walking around. He bought Sere a baby Gryfindor T-shirt and found himself a Gryfindor hoodie. He couldn’t convince Kurt to let him buy him anything in that store. Kurt had never been a big Potter fan. He had always sat through the movies for Blaine, but they weren’t something he would watch on his own.

When Kurt was finally able to get Blaine out of the Potter store, they browsed through a few more before deciding on dinner when Sere started to fuss. Blaine stopped, unstrapped her from her stroller and carried her. While Kurt pushed the stroller, Blaine talked to Sere softly and held her tight. He placed his free hand on Kurt’s waist and a kiss on his cheek. Blaine was truly happy at that moment. He had his family and all was right in his world again.


	22. Frienemies

**A/N: Thank you to my amazing beta JayHawkWrites for catching all my errors and to MichKlaineLover for catching a very big mistake, thank you. Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed my story. You are very much appreciated.**

**oOoOo**

Kurt and Blaine walked out of the underground and for the first time that day, they hailed a cab. They were both worn out, but it had been a fantastic day. They had experienced a lot of the things Kurt had said he wanted to do if he was ever in London. That night, they decided to eat dinner at a pub not far from their motel. According to the concierge at the motel, it was a family-friendly place, and when they got there, they found out just how true that was. Several families were sitting around tables enjoying their meals, so Blaine felt comfortable eating there with his little girl.

It’s funny how quickly Blaine’s mindset had changed. There had been a time when he wouldn’t have thought twice about having dinner in a pub. Now that he was a father and had a precious life depending on him, he saw things differently. He spent time now determining if certain places were a suitable environment for his daughter to be in, things he would never have even thought about just a year ago.

“I guess in the morning, if it is ok with you, we can go over to the apartment and try to start sorting it out,” Blaine said, looking at Kurt over the menu he had been handed when they sat down.

“It probably wouldn’t hurt to see about finding a place that sells boxes on the way over there. Do you remember much about the apartment? What you might be interested in keeping and shipping home?” Kurt asked, setting his menu down, already knowing what he was going to order.

“Not really. Since I didn’t know Shey, I didn’t really pay that much attention to the apartment itself. My main concern was to get what I thought we would need for Sere, and getting Bryce out of there as soon as possible... Sorry, I hate talking about him with you,” Blaine said with a half-smile. They stopped talking for a minute when their waitress came and took their order. The two started back up their conversation when she had walked away.

“It’s ok, Blaine, really. You two had a life that I wasn’t part of, I know that. Don’t try to not talk about him for me. I promise you, it won't upset me. He is a big part of your past,” Kurt said, looking at Blaine and hoping that he sensed his sincerity.

Blaine kind of half-laughed, “You know what’s funny? When Bryce and I first started seeing each other, I felt like I talked about you to him too much. I would always catch myself telling him stories about you, and I promised him one night that I wouldn’t talk about you again. He never once told me it was ok that you were a big part of my past. It was almost like he was saying move on like I was just supposed to forget about you.”

“I’m not going to try to tell you to move on, Blaine. I know he hurt you, and for that, if he were still alive, I would hurt him myself. I’ll say it again, you didn’t deserve any of the things he put you through. He was still part of your life, part of your daughter's life, and that isn’t something you can turn your back on or just forget,” Kurt said, reaching out to take Blaine’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze to let him know he understood. 

They stopped talking again when their food was delivered. Kurt and Blaine were both shocked by how quickly it had been brought out to them. The concierge had been right about this place. Blaine tried to feed Sere, but she just shook her head until he handed her her spoon, not that she used it for anything but playing. Blaine looked at Kurt and continued their conversation.

“I know. It's just that I hate even thinking about him, especially when I am with…”

“** _Blaine!_ **”

Blaine looked up when he heard his name called and could only smile. He quickly stood up, and Kurt watched in shock as Blaine walked across the room and into another man's arms. To say that Kurt was shocked and just a little jealous was an understatement. He didn’t like seeing Blaine in the arms of another man, especially one who was as cute as this man seemed to be judging on what he could see from across the room. Kurt sat there watching Blaine, wondering when he was going to remember he had left his boyfriend and daughter sitting alone at their table.

Kurt was just trying to decide if he should stand up and carry Sere over to remind him they were there when he saw Blaine step out of the other man's arms. He turned around and looked at Kurt, flashing him ‘_ his _’ smile. In that instant, Kurt knew everything was ok. There was no reason to be jealous, well much anyway. He watched as Blaine and a group of men weaved their way back over to their table, and it was then that Kurt recognized most of them. They were all actors, and at least three of them had been in Blaine’s show with him.

Blaine walked up to Kurt with a big grin on his face. “Kurt, this is my friend Joshua Edwards. He played my ex, Adam, on ‘South of Always,’ and this,” Blaine said, pointing to the other men, “is Alan Marks, Gary Washington, Max Alexander, Phillip Rosen, and Greg Parks. Alan and Max were on the show with us as well. Alan played Ben. Josh, guys, I would like to introduce you to Kurt Hummel, my boyfriend,” Blaine said proudly with a big smile on his face, wrapping his arm around Kurt’s waist. Blaine knew introducing Kurt as his boyfriend again would never get old. He had always been proud to say those words, and that feeling hasn’t changed.

“Soo, you kind of hooked up quickly after Bryce died. It's kind of weird, don’t you think that you found someone that fast? That you seemed to have gotten over him that quickly,” Alan said in a sarcastic voice, looking at Blaine.

Blaine looked at him for a few minutes. He had known, if anyone would have a problem with him and Kurt being together, other than Mitchels, it was going to be Alan. Alan had been Bryce's friend on and off set. They had met as teenagers and had been in several movies together, and over time, they had become best friends. Blaine knew how hard Bryce's death had hit Alan.

“I know it might seem that way to you, but a lot was going on that only a few people were aware of before Bryce died. As for Kurt and I, no, it wasn’t quick at all. Kurt was my high school sweetheart, and for a while, my fiancé before we broke up. We have known each other for almost five years,” Blaine answered him. 

“So, what was Bryce? Just a rebound for you? A fast fuck? Did you try to use him just to get over Kurt? That sucks Blaine,” Alan said, looking at Blaine.

Blaine could feel the hate rolling off of him. He tried not to get upset. He understood how Alan must be hurting after losing Bryce, but it was taking everything he had not to just go off on him.

“Number one,” Blaine stated as calmly as he possibly could, “you don’t know what you’re talking about. As I said, a lot was going on that I was trying to keep out of the media so that ‘_ your _ ’ friend’s name wouldn’t be dragged through the mud. And to answer your other question, no, Bryce wasn’t a rebound or a fast fuck. Trust me. Bryce knew where I stood on everything. He was very much aware of the fact that I didn’t love him, and I knew for a fact he didn’t love me. I knew he was still very much in love with Shey. We made the decision together to be there for Sere. We _ both _ knew that she needed a family, and we were _ both _willing to try to give her that. We wanted to give her a home, to give her the best possible future we could give her.”

“Well, I also heard that Bryce left you everything, even the house his parents live in. Man, you must be terrific in bed to be able to brainwash him that badly. You are nothing but a gold digger. You saw someone famous and rich, and you were all over him,” Alan spouted off.

“You know, if you weren’t so wrong, it would be funny,” Blaine said, now mad. First, Alan had accused him of using Bryce as a rebound to get over Kurt, and now he was accusing him of using Bryce for his money and position.

“If you had done your research, you would have found out that I have more money than Bryce ever thought about having. The prenup we signed before getting married was to protect _ my _ interests, not his. I wanted nothing, nor did I need anything from him. Everything I was left in his will has been put in a trust fund for his daughter. Also, since you say you were his best friend and supposedly knew ‘ _ everything about him,’ _ did you know he was married? Not married before me and then divorced, I mean ** _still_ ** married when he married me? Oh, I can tell by the look on your face you didn’t. That’s right, your boy, your buddy, your pal, your best friend, was a bigamist. He married me while he was still married to his high school girlfriend, Jennifer,” Blaine said he hadn’t been this angry in a while. He knew he was saying things he never intended to tell anyone, but Alan was pushing the issue, pushing him.

“You’re lying. Bryce wouldn’t do something like that,” Alan whispered, not wanting to believe Blaine, but he could tell by the way Blaine was looking he was telling the truth.

“I wish I could say I was lying, trust me when I say I wish it was. I found out how Bryce felt about our daughter, and about me from reading his journal. Unfortunately, that is also how I found out about his wife,” Blaine said, his voice no longer holding the anger he felt. “Kurt was there for me. He helped me make it through this whole ordeal, and to be honest, he saved me. He was the first person I called when I found out the truth.”

“Blaine, I am so sorry. I have had all this anger inside me since he died. I guess I needed something or someone to blame for his death. It was so sudden and absolutely senseless. He was so good with horses. He had been riding them since he was a kid, and then he died because one of them kicks him in the chest. I had just talked to him the night before he died, you know, we were making plans to see each other when he got back to California,” Alan said softly, looking at Blaine, almost like he was seeing him for the first time.

“I’m sorry too. I’m sorry I said it the way I did. This is why I have been so quiet about his death and why I haven’t gotten in front of the camera. Talking about how wonderful he was... I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face through it. That’s why everything that has been reported has gone through my publicist. I knew I would say things that I didn’t want a lot of people to know. Bryce was a good person, well at least the person I first met anyway. I knew he had friends, he had you, and I didn’t want to ruin his memory for you. I know to you he was a great person, he was your best friend, and I’m sorry. I wish I hadn’t said what I said the way I did,” Blaine said with a sigh.

“You need to know, though, that there is a big chance this will all be coming out, and I won’t be able to stop it. Bryce’s parents are taking me to court to fight for custody of Sere,” Blaine said, looking at all of them. These were the people he had worked with, a few of them at least, and he considered them his friends. He felt embarrassed about some of the things that he knew would be discussed during the court case with the Mitchels. He just hoped he could keep Kurt’s name out of it. Hearing how Alan had talked about Kurt opened his eyes to how things might go in court.

“Why are they fighting for Sere? They didn’t even want Bryce. Why would they want to deal with a baby?” Max asked, looking at everyone.

“I can tell you in two words ‘trust fund’. When Shey died, she left everything to Bryce and Sere. Whoever is Sere’s guardian has access to her money,” Alan said, looking at Blaine. Blaine merely nodded in agreement.

“Well, isn’t that special,” Max said, trying to discharge some of the tension. He had liked working with Blaine on ‘South.’ Blaine had seemed like a really good guy, and he hated the way Alan had accused him of using Bryce.

They continued to talk, getting to know each other, and Kurt couldn’t believe he was sitting at a table with six very well known movie and tv stars, well technically seven including Blaine. Until that moment, he had almost forgotten who his boyfriend was. Kurt was soaking it all in and just watching. Watching them all talk about the things that happened on this set or that one. Watching how Blaine fit in with them, how Blaine had been a part of that world. It dawned on him just how famous Blaine really was.

Kurt had been there a few times when Blaine had had to duck the paparazzi to stop them from getting pictures of him and Sere. It wasn’t until that moment that he realized that Blaine belonged in a world that _ he _ never would. Blaine had made it. It might not be Broadway like they had always talked about, but still, he made it. Blaine belonged in that world, with these people. Kurt didn’t, and he knew that. Suddenly, he felt very out of place, and slowly got quiet.

“Sweetheart, are you ok?” Blaine whispered in Kurt’s ear.

“Yeah, everything is fine,” Kurt whispered, looking at Blaine with a smile.

“_ Kurt _ , remember what we were just talking about at lunch. We need to talk to each other when something is wrong, easy or hard. Sweetheart, I can tell something is bothering you,” Blaine whispered again. He was looking at Kurt. Blaine had noticed right away when Kurt had started getting quiet, when he had started pulling into himself. Putting his hand on Kurt’s thigh under the table, he gently squeezed it, “ _ Please, Kurt _.”

Kurt just looked at Blaine, loving how he wasn’t afraid to show he cared. “Can we talk about this tonight when we get back to our room?” Kurt asked, looking around the table, letting Blaine know he didn’t really want to have this conversation in front of strangers.

“Promise?” Blaine asked, looking at Kurt. He didn’t want to let it go, but he also understood that Kurt wanted to keep their private life private.

“Promise,” Kurt answered him, and could only smile when Blaine leaned over in front of his friends and kissed him on the cheek.

“So, Kurt, you knew Blaine in high school, huh,” Josh asked with a grin.

“Yes. We met my junior, his sophomore year,” Kurt said, looking first at Josh and then at Blaine.

“What was my friend like back then? I know how he was on set. I just wondered if he was any different in school,” Josh asked, first looking at Blaine, and then at Kurt.

Kurt could do nothing but smile, remembering Blaine from back then. “When I met Blaine, he was the lead vocalist for his school’s glee club.”

Blaine just laughed. “You say that like you had no involvement with us. What Kurt just failed to mention was that yes, I was lead vocalist, but we only met because his glee club sent him to spy on my glee club. They wanted our setlist. I wish you could have seen Kurt the first time I did. I went to Dalton Academy. It’s an all-boys prep school. We all wore matching uniforms, dark blue blazers with red piping around the collars and pockets, charcoal gray pants, and a red and blue striped tie. He apparently had looked on our school's website to see what we wore and tried to match it.”

“You have to admit I came pretty close,” Kurt said with a grin.

“Yeah, _ close _,” Blaine said with a smile, winking at Kurt.

“Well anyway, back to what I was saying before I was rudely interrupted,” Kurt said, looking at Blaine with a shit-eating grin, “the day I met Blaine, he grabbed my hand and ran with me through the halls of Dalton to the senior's common room. The Warblers, that’s the name of the glee club at Dalton and sang everything acapella, were preparing to give an impromptu performance for the other students. Before I even knew what was going on, this one here,” Kurt said, pointing at Blaine with his thumb, “broke out singing Katie Perry’s ‘Teenage Dream.’”

“What?” Josh said, laughing. “You mean to tell me our Blaine sings?” he said, looking at Blaine. Kurt didn’t like the look he was giving Blaine or the way he had said “_ our _” Blaine.

“Oh yeah, Blaine can sing. He can also play the piano, violin, drums, and guitar,” Kurt said proudly, looking over at Blaine. “He’s really good too,” Kurt added.

“Thank you,” Blaine said, looking at Kurt feeling proud at the way Kurt bragged on him.

Josh looked between them before shooting Kurt a look. Kurt knew in that instant that Josh liked Blaine as more than just a friend. “He also helped me stand up to my high school bully.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Blaine asked, looking at Kurt, smiling his loving smile. Blaine could stare at Kurt forever and never get tired of seeing that face.

Kurt smiled at Blaine before looking back at the other guys at the table. “Well anyway, Blaine, as I said, was the lead vocalist. I ended up transferring to Dalton for a few months. Blaine was very hyper almost like he was always tanked up on caffeine. A few times, the head of the Warblers council had to stop Blaine from jumping off furniture. But, during that time, I got to see some amazing performances. He led us to a tie with New Directions, my old glee club when we went to Sectionals,” Kurt said proudly.

Josh seemed to notice a piano in the corner of the room for the first time. He turned around and looked at Blaine. “Listening to Kurt brag on you, I am going to need to hear you sing,” he said, smiling at Blaine.

“Umm, no, I don’t think so. Didn’t you see the awards show? That should be good enough,” Blaine said, laughing. Other than when he performed for the awards show with the Warblers, Blaine hadn’t sung for anyone other than Sere since he sang “American Boy” with Kurt.

“Come on, Blaine. Sing for me, man. Well, I mean us. I was out of the country and didn’t get to see you when you performed at the awards ceremony. Hell, I didn’t even realize until right now that you performed that night. We would all love to hear you,” Josh continued, starting to make Kurt’s skin crawl. He was flirting with Blaine, right in front of Kurt, even though he knew that he and Blaine were a couple. All of a sudden, Josh reminded him of Sabastian Smythe with his smary voice and sleazy smile.

“I think I will pass,” Blaine said, laughing.

“No, do it, please. I haven’t heard you sing in a long time,” Kurt said softly. He had missed Blaine performing. Blaine had always seemed the happiest when he was sitting behind a piano and singing his heart out. It would also be another way of showing Alan the pull _ he _ had on Blaine. Blaine had outright refused to sing for Alan, but Kurt knew he would not refuse to sing for him.

“Are you sure?” Blaine asked, looking at Kurt. He was still acting off, and Blaine didn’t know if he should leave him alone at a table with a bunch of people that Kurt didn’t know.

“I’m sure,” Kurt said, looking at him with a smile.

“Will you watch Sere for me?” Blaine asked. He smiled at all the cheese she had managed to get all over herself from her mac and cheese. She was going through a stage where she wanted to try to feed herself and right now, she seems to feed her clothes more than she feeds herself.

“You don’t even need to ask,” Kurt said looking at him.

Blaine stood up and walked over to Kurt, leaning down, he placed a kiss on Kurt’s cheek before whispering in his ear, “Promise me we are going to talk when we get back to the room.”

Kurt looked up at Blaine, looked into his eyes and saw the concern in them, and nodded his head. Blaine watched him for a few more moments, before weaving his way to the piano, whispering something in the ear of the man who had been playing. Kurt watched as the gentleman nodded his head, stood up and walked away from the piano.

“Hi, I am Blaine Anderson. I was asked by a few of my friends to come up here and perform something for them. I am sorry if I am disturbing your meal,” Blaine said, laughing with a smile on his face.

Looking around the room and seeing how many people recognized Blaine, it hit Kurt once again just how much he really didn’t belong in Blaine’s world. That hurt more than he ever thought possible. He had convinced himself that Blaine hadn’t really changed that much. He was still just the boy he had met and fallen in love with, but looking at the faces of the people sitting around the room, he knew that he was wrong. Everything had changed; everything but Kurt, that is. When he looked back across the room, focusing on Blaine, he noticed that Blaine was looking at him with concern written all over his face. Kurt looked at him and smiled, trying to ease Blaine’s mind.

“When I was younger, well, when I was in high school, my boyfriend and I used to sing a lot together. We would use songs as a way to communicate things we couldn’t always say to each other any other way. We could voice our concerns and ask questions that might not be asked if not through song. I have a song that I feel I need to sing. There is someone here with me tonight that I need to talk to. More specifically, I need to ask him a question, and this song will be perfect for that. I’ve actually sung this song before, not so much for him, but he did hear it. But anyway, enough talking,” Blaine said with a laugh, never once taking his eyes off of Kurt. He knew something was wrong and just hoped they could fix it. Blaine wondered when had something that had always been so easy between them, turned so hard?

_What would I do without your smart mouth?_   
_Drawin' me in and you kickin' me out_

_You've got my head spinnin', no kiddin'_   
_I can't pin you down_   
_What's goin' on in that beautiful mind?_   
_I'm on your magical mystery ride_   
_And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me_   
_But I'll be alright_

Blaine sang, never taking his eyes off of Kurt. He knew something was going on, and it was driving him crazy not knowing what it was or if they could fix it. They had had an amazing day together, they were _ them _, and then tonight, something had changed. Kurt had started pulling away, and he knew he needed to find out why.

_My head's under water, but I'm breathing fine_   
_You're crazy and I'm out of my mind_

  
_'Cause all of me_  
_Loves all of you_  
_Love your curves and all your edges_  
_All your perfect imperfections_  
_Give your all to me_  
_I'll give my all to you_  
_You're my end and my beginnin'_  
_Even when I lose, I'm winnin_'

Blaine watched as Kurt wiped a tear off of his cheek, and suddenly he couldn’t wait anymore. He needed to know now what was going on in Kurt’s beautiful mind. He finished his song, stood up, and walked back to the table.

“It was really good seeing you guys again, I need to get Sere back to our room because it’s almost her bedtime,” Blaine said, not even sorry he was using his daughter as an excuse to leave, an excuse to get Kurt alone. He needed to find out what was going on, and he couldn’t wait another moment. He wiped off Sere’s face and hands, before unbuckling her from the high chair she was in and picked her up.

“It was good seeing you again, and I loved hearing you sing. Maybe, once we all get back to L.A., we can get together and have a small reunion party,” Josh said, pulling Blaine into a hug. “Oh, and Kurt, you’re welcome to come as well,” Josh said as an afterthought.

“Thanks, it was really good getting to see you all again. Call me when you want to set something up,” Blaine said, stepping away from Josh and reaching down to take Kurt’s hand. They slowly started weaving their way to the door, Blaine being stopped every few feet to be told how good he sang and how much they had liked him in ‘Always’ and asking for his autograph. Blaine smiled, signed about twenty napkins, and they were soon on their way out the door. When they got outside, Blaine let go of Kurt’s hand long enough to put Sere in her stroller, and then he took Kurt’s hand back into his. He didn’t want to let go until they got back to their room, and he could find out what was going on with Kurt.

“Blaine, you didn’t have to leave your friends. I could have just taken Sere to the room for you,” Kurt said, looking at Blaine sideways as they walked down the sidewalk.

“Why would I do that?” Blaine asks, looking at Kurt puzzled.

“You haven’t seen your friends in a while. They’re important to you,” Kurt answered, still walking and not looking at Blaine.

“Kurt, when are you going to realize that the two most important people in this world to me are with me right now? There is no one in that room back there that is more important to me than the two of you. Why would I let you walk away, and not follow you?” Blaine asked, seriously curious. Did Kurt still not understand just how much he meant to him and how important he was? Blaine wondered how after everything they had gone through, after every conversation they had ever had, there could be even a shred of doubt. Now, more than before, he was glad they had left. They needed to talk. He wasn’t going to let things spiral out of control the way he would have before. This was too important to him. _ Kurt _was too important.

“I need to stop at this little store up here on the way back to the motel and pick up some diapers,” Blaine said, watching as Kurt let go of his hand so he could open the door for them. Once through the door, Blaine quickly grabbed Kurt’s hand back back.

Blaine grabbed the first pack of diapers he got his hand on that was the size Sere needed and didn’t even pay attention to what brand they were. He just needed them to get him through the night, and if he needed to, he would replace them in the morning. Blaine needed to be alone with Kurt so he could figure out what was wrong.

“I’m going to go and give her a quick bath and get her ready for bed, and then we can talk,” Blaine said to Kurt when they got up to their room. Blaine looked at Kurt for a minute before placing a kiss on his lips, “I love you, Kurt,” Blaine whispered as he walked towards the bathroom with Sere in his arms.

Even though Blaine wanted to hurry so he could get back to Kurt, he wasn’t going to rush with Sere. He took his time with her, giving her the undivided attention she needed. He softly sang to her while he bathed and washed her hair, laughing softly as she played with her little duck in the tub. This was their nightly routine. After he had finished bathing her, he picked her up and wrapped a fluffy towel around her and carried her back into the bedroom. He pulled out a new diaper and a pair of pajamas, then gently laid her down on the bed to finish drying her and get her dressed for the night, talking and singing to her the whole time.

When he had her in her pajamas, he held her tight and snuggled into her, singing a lullaby until she was asleep. Placing a soft kiss on her head, he slowly stood up and walked to her crib. He didn’t want to wake her up so he moved very slowly. Before laying her down he kissed her on her cheek, whispered ‘I love you’ against her little head, then gently laid her down. 

Blaine stood there for a few minutes, just staring down at her with a wistful smile on his face. He was thankful that he had this sweet little girl in his life. Blaine turned off the main light in the room and used the bathroom light to be able to see. He then slowly made his way over to where Kurt was sitting on the couch and sat down so that he was facing Kurt.

“Ok, sweetheart. Are you ready to tell me what was going on tonight and why you got so quiet and looked so sad?” Blaine asked. He reached out his hand to cup Kurt’s face so that he had to look at him and rubbed his thumb up and down Kurt’s cheek like he had done millions of times before. Blaine had known immediately that something was wrong with Kurt while they were at the pub. He just hoped Kurt would talk to him. This kind of thing was what he was afraid of, afraid of Kurt holding back and not telling him what was going on.

“It was nothing,” Kurt said softly, looking at Blaine.

“Kurt, please don’t do this. Talk to me love,” Blaine said, wrapping his arm around Kurt’s shoulders, pulling him close to his side. “Please, Kurt.”

Kurt just looked at him for a minute, and then he was wrapping his arms around Blaine’s neck, finally letting the tears he had been holding in all evening fall. Blaine just held on to him and pulled Kurt onto his lap, letting him cry it out. He didn’t know what was going on inside Kurt’s mind right now, or what had caused his beautiful boy to cry, but he would be patient until Kurt was ready to talk. Blaine started humming “Perfect,” softly rubbing his hand up and down Kurt’s back, placing small kisses on his head.

“I’m not, you know,” Kurt said softly and sniffling.

“You're not what, sweetheart?” Blaine asked, going right back to humming, and placing soft kisses until Kurt talked again.

“Perfect,” Kurt whispered, lowering his arms and laying his cheek on Blaine’s shoulder.

“I disagree with you, but why do you say that?” Blaine asked, looking at Kurt, wanting him to talk so badly so that they could straighten everything out.

“I watched you tonight with your friends. They’re all famous actors that you talk so easily to, just like you would talk to Finn or Sam. You were comfortable being around them and you belong in their world. They are the ones that are perfect for you, not me,” Kurt whispered, not looking up until Blaine forced him to by gently using his finger under Kurt’s chin to make him.

“Ahh, Kurt. Do you really _ still _ not understand? There is _ no one _ on this earth more perfect than you for me. _ No one _ can _ ever _take your place. The minute I saw you, well, the minute I pulled my head out of my ass and saw what was in front of me, I knew you were it for me and that there could never be anybody for me but you. After we broke up I tried to find someone else, but I have been miserable since the day I let you walk away from me. Kurt, I have loved you, and have been in love with you since I was sixteen years old. That hasn’t, nor will it ever change. You are it for me, my beginning and my end. With you, in my life, I can do anything. Please don’t ever doubt me. Don’t doubt my love for you again. Me being in a T.V. show and in a movie, and hanging around with other people who are as well isn’t going to change that,” Blaine said, pulling Kurt back into his arms and kissing Kurt with everything he had. He needed Kurt to finally understand.

“Will you hold me, please. Just for a little while, will you hold me?” Kurt whispered suddenly, so sleepy.

“Ahh, sweetheart, I could happily spend the rest of my life just holding you,” Blaine whispered, placing another kiss on Kurt’s lips before standing up with him, and then guiding Kurt over to the bed. Tomorrow, they would spend more time talking. He would make sure Kurt had no doubts in his feelings for his love. Blaine pulled back the blankets on the bed watching as Kurt slipped between the sheets. He followed Kurt under the covers, pulled Kurt close and just held him. Tomorrow would be better, Blaine was sure of it.

A/N: Song used in this chapter was All of Me by John Legend, but I always hear Blaine's Version


	23. Apartment

A/N: Thank you for all the comments I have gotten on this story, the follows, likes, and kudos. Thank you once again to my amazing beta JayHawkWrites, for understanding what I mean to say, even if it comes out wrong.

~*~

Blaine woke up for the first time in weeks to Sere crying. She usually just woke him up with laughter coming from the baby monitor. Sere was always a happy baby even when she first woke up, but this time she was almost screaming. Blaine threw the covers back and jumped out of bed, for once not worrying about waking Kurt up, he ran to Sere’s crib and picked her up.

“What’s wrong, Sere, baby, are you ok?” Blaine asked softly, holding her to his chest, he started pacing the room, slowly rocking and trying to soothe her. In the dim light of the room, Blaine barely made out how she was trying to chew on her little fist. He thought he knew what was going on. Blaine had read every infant book he could get his hands on when they had first gotten Sere. He figured that she was the right age to be teething. He took his finger and ran it across her gums and found the first signs of a budding tooth, breaking the skin of her bottom gum. Blaine went to Sere’s diaper bag looking for the Orajel he had started carrying with him, knowing that she could start teething anytime, for once it wasn’t there. That’s when he remembered repacking her diaper bag right before the trip, and apparently, he had forgotten to put it back in. _Shit_

“Oh, my sweet baby, I am so sorry. Let me see if Kurt will watch you while Daddy goes to get something to make it better,” Blaine said, kissing her little cheek, hating that she was in pain, hating that he forgot something so simple and just wishing he could take her pain away. He knew this was just a normal part of her growing up, but that didn’t mean he had to like it.

Noticing that the bathroom door was closed, Blaine walked over and knocked. “Hey Kurt, would you mind watching Sere for me for a few minutes? I need to run to the store and grab some Orajel. She woke up teething this morning.” Blaine asked and got no response,

“Kurt, are you in there?” When he didn’t get a response again, he opened the door and found the bathroom was empty. Blaine’s heart dropped to his knees, after everything that had happened the night before, his first thought was that Kurt had decided to leave him after all. “_Come on, Kurt, please don’t do this to us again_,” Blaine whispered. He walked over to the door leading out to their balcony, hoping, but he wasn’t there either, Kurt was gone. The only thing that kept Blaine from thinking the worst was the fact that Kurt’s suitcase was still on the luggage rack next to his.

Blaine opened his suitcase and pulled out the first pair of jeans and the first shirt he touched, for once not even caring if they matched. He walked over to the bed and laid Sere down long enough that he could get dressed. For now, Blaine decided not to bother changing Sere out of her pajamas. His main priority was getting what she needed to make her feel better, Blaine only took enough time to change her diaper before picking her up, grabbing his phone, wallet, and keys. He was soon walking out the door, stopping only long enough to make sure he had his key card for the room before letting the door close behind him and walked towards the elevator. When Blaine made it to the lobby, he quickly walked towards the exit, still holding a crying Sere.

“Shhh, baby, I know you hurt, daddy is going to get something to make it better, Shhh,” Blaine said, kissing her head, now wanting to cry himself. For over a month, he had been carrying that stupid tube of Orajel with him everywhere. He always had a tube in her diaper bag, wanting to be ready. But now that Sere really needed it, Blaine had forgotten it at home. At times like this, he feels like a shitty dad. Too bad he was all Sere had left. He tried, but she deserved so much more.

Blaine walked to the store he had stopped at last night when he picked up diapers and managed to find everything he thought he would need. He got a tube of Orajel, a bottle of baby Tylenol, a pack of teething biscuits, a bottle of hand sanitizer, and a small bottle of water. Once Blaine had gone through the store’s checkout line, he read the direction on the Tylenol bottle, and went ahead and gave her a dose, knowing that the sooner she was able to take it, the sooner she would start feeling better.

Stepping out of the door back onto the sidewalk, Blaine noticed a bench, he walked over to it and sat down, still holding Sere. Blaine dug through his shopping bag until he found the hand sanitizer and the bottle of water. Squirting some of the sanitizer onto his hand, Blaine rubbed it in and then used the bottle of water to rinse his hands off. He didn’t like the idea of sticking his dirty fingers into Sere’s mouth. Closing the lids on both bottles, Blaine stuck them both back into his bag and grabbed out the Orajel and rubbed probably more than the amount needed on Sere’s bottom gum, and at last, she finally stopped crying. He still couldn’t believe how stupid he was to leave something as crucial as Orajel and baby Tylenol at home. He could almost kick himself, because of his stupidity, Sere had had to suffer longer than she needed to.

“I’m sorry, baby. Daddy will try to do better, I promise,” Blaine said, kissing her on the head. He once again dug through his bag and pulled out the box of teething biscuits he had gotten. Blaine opened one for her, and after she took it, he stood up and started walking back to their motel, glad to see the smile back on his little girl’s face. That had been rough. The only thing that came close was when he had to take Sere to the pediatrician to get her immunizations. The nurses always offered to let him wait out in the hall so he wouldn’t have to watch, but he figured that if she had to be there to go through it, he could at least be there to comfort her when they were done. Blaine took his time walking back. He was wrung out, first with Sere waking up screaming and then finding that Kurt was gone, Blaine was an emotional wreck.

When Sere and Blaine got back to their room, Kurt was still not there, Blaine started to wonder if he was going to have to learn to live without him again. Shaking that thought out of his head, he once again concentrated on his little girl. She had somehow managed to get her teething biscuit all over her. He couldn’t bring himself to care, though, because his little girl was smiling again. With a laugh, Blaine grabbed out the diaper wipes and cleaned Sere off before dressing her in a pair of pink shorts and a matching pink top. He was just fixing her hair when he heard the door open, and Kurt walked in. Just looking at him had Blaine’s heart speeding up. You would think after all this time, Blaine would be used to the beauty that was his Kurt, but nope, it still hit him every time.

“Hi,” Kurt said softly, walking in with two cups of coffee and a paper bag.

“Hi,” Blaine whispered back, trying to keep the uncertainty he was feeling out of his voice. One look at Kurt’s face, and he knew he had failed.

“I’m sorry I left. I just needed to take a walk and clear my head a little,” Kurt said, walking over to the table in their suite, sitting down the coffee and bag down before walking over to the bed and sitting down beside Blaine.

“Did you get everything sorted out?” Blaine asked, trying to keep the pain out of his voice, having flashbacks of a particularly rainy night in New York.

“Yes,” Kurt said with a soft smile on his face, before leaning over and kissing Blaine’s lips. “I owe you yet another apology. Every time we have ever been together, the one thing you have always asked of me was that if I had doubts, if I had worries, to come to you, and we could talk it out, that there was nothing that together the two of us couldn’t fix. Last night, seeing you with your friends, kind of hit me hard. I was remembering _my_ Blaine. The boy I had loved since the first time I saw you standing on the bottom steps of Dalton when I was sixteen years old. Last night I realized you’re no longer _that_ Blaine, _my_ Blaine anymore, and that was all my fault,” Kurt said, never taking his eyes off of Blaine. He used to be able to read him like a book, but not anymore. So much had changed, and Kurt still wondered if the change was just too significant.

“Ahh, Kurt, how many times do I have to tell you I am still _your_ Blaine, and always will be. Yes, I have changed, but I think for the better. What hasn’t changed, though, and never could is the love I feel for you. I am still the same boy who fell so in love with his best friend. The same boy who sang Teenage Dream to the most amazing person I have ever known. My life began on the steps of Dalton Kurt. Other than Sere, you are my life, my world. Please stop doubting me, stop doubting us,” Blaine said, pulling Kurt to him, kissing him, “_Oh, how much I love you_,” Blaine whispered before attacking Kurt’s lips again.

Sere starting to fuss was the only thing that pulled Blaine away from Kurt. “I think she might be getting hungry,” Blaine said, leaning in, kissing Kurt one more time before standing up.

“While I was out, I picked us up breakfast. I figured we could eat in here before heading to the apartment this morning if that’s ok,” Kurt said, standing up and walking over to the table. He pulled out two muffins and a small container of scrambled eggs and buttered toast. Walking back over to Blaine, Kurt reached for Sere, and could only smile when she happily came to him.

“Are you ready for breakfast, sweet girl?” Kurt asked her, kissing Sere on the cheek before sitting her in the high chair the motel had supplied them and he strapped her in. Once he knew she was secure, he put the bowl of scrambled eggs and toast in front of her, and could only laugh as she completely ignored the spoon he had placed in front of her, choosing to use her hands instead.

Kurt grabbed one of the cups of coffee and turned around to hand it to Blaine, noticing the look on his face. “What?” Kurt asked, wondering if he had just done something wrong.

“It’s nothing, you are just so natural with her. You just picked her up and fed her as if you did it every day. Bryce wouldn’t do that. He never wanted to have anything to do with her. He was supposed to be her father, but you are more natural and caring with her than he ever was. You just jumped in like it was the most natural thing in the world to do. God Kurt, you amaze me,” Blaine said with a smile, taking his coffee from Kurt before placing another kiss on his lips.

“Oh,” was all Kurt could say, smiling back. He was already falling in love with that little girl, but how could he not, she was a part of the man he loved.

“You remembered,” Blaine said after taking a sip of his coffee, looking at Kurt. He tasted the hint of cinnamon, and cream Kurt had added to it.

“Of course, I did. When I woke up this morning, I had all these thoughts running through my mind about last night, but then, I started thinking about all the special things you did for me when we were together. I thought about the coffee you would show up with at school. Like somehow you just knew I was having a bad day, without me saying a word. Our special dates that you planned, and then all the mornings you woke up early so that you could make me breakfast in bed once you got to New York. I know I didn’t always show you how much that meant to me, how much I appreciated every single thing you did. I was a bratty kid who took the most important thing in my life for granted.”

“You know, I really don’t remember saying thank you most of the time. It was almost like I just took everything you did as something you were just supposed to do, I don’t know how you put up with me the way you did,” Kurt said with a slight smile looking at Blaine, and for the hundredth time since they got back together, he was so glad Blaine was back in his life, that Blaine was once again his.

“I decided this morning I wanted to do something for you. I didn’t have a kitchen available to cook for you, so I did the next best thing. While I was walking around, I found this cute little coffee shop that reminded me so much of the Lima Bean. I ordered our coffee and then saw these,” Kurt said, handing Blaine one of the muffins he had brought back with him.

“Lemon, blueberry?” Blaine whispered after taking the first bite. That brought back so many memories of the mornings they had spent together in the Bushwick apartment. Blaine had found out how much Kurt loved lemon blueberry pancakes and used to get up early almost every morning just to cook them for Kurt. Once he had moved into Mercede’s apartment with Sam, he was only able to do it on the weekends, so Blaine tried to make them even more special by serving them to Kurt in bed. Blaine had just assumed Kurt had forgotten about it.

“Thank you,” Blaine said for more than just the muffins. He was so thankful to have Kurt back in his life again. To be able to love him, and hopefully share the rest of his life with him.

“I wanted to do something special for you for a change. My way of saying thank you for everything you always did for me, and what you still do. I also need to apologize. I know we said if there was ever a problem, we would talk about it then, instead of letting things build up. That might take me a while, but I promise I will continue to try. I also wanted to say how much I love you, and if it is ok with you, I don’t plan on ever letting you go again,” Kurt said, walking up to Blaine, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him into a tight hug.

“I have no problem with that at all,” Blaine said, wrapping his arms around Kurt, leaning in for a kiss.

When they finished eating, Blaine cleaned Sere off. Somehow she had managed to get egg in her ear, laughing, Blaine was able to get it out, placing a kiss on her cheek before sitting her down on the towel he had spread on the floor for her. Grabbing her diaper bag, Blaine added a few more diapers, a few changes of clothes, and made sure he put the baby Tylenol, Orajel, and a teething biscuit back in the bag. Lesson learned.

“She might be a little fussy today, she is cutting her first tooth,” Blaine said to Kurt, turning around to pick Sere up, only to find Kurt had already picked her up and had her in the stroller ready to go.

Blaine stood there a moment, watching as Kurt walked to the front of the stroller, and knelt down in front of Sere. “I’m sorry, Re, did daddy make it all better?” Kurt asked before placing a kiss on her cheek.

Blaine just stood there with his mouth open. He was so used to doing everything for his little girl. He never expected Kurt to just step in the way he did. Blaine fell just a little more in love with him. He reached into his suitcase next and pulled out the pack of papers his dad had sent him with him to give to Shey’s lawyer and placed them inside Sere’s diaper bag. He looked around to make sure he didn’t forget anything before walking out the door of their room. Blaine pushed Sere’s stroller with his left hand and held Kurt’s hand with his right. He thought back to all the dreams he used to have about himself and Kurt. The life he had hoped they would have.

Blaine had looked forward to marrying Kurt and spending the rest of their lives together as husbands, raising a family together. Now he just couldn’t see that happening anymore. Blaine would spend the rest of his life with Kurt happily, but he couldn’t see himself getting engaged or married again. Blaine had tried both, and neither had worked out for him, and he just couldn’t risk losing Kurt like that again. Maybe he just wasn’t meant for that life. Blaine thought as he pushed the button for the elevator and waited for it to take them downstairs.

When they got down to the lobby, Blaine was happy to see the taxi he had requested was already there. They climbed in, Blaine gave the driver the address, and they were soon on their way through the busy London traffic. As they passed places, Blaine was familiar with, he would point them out to Kurt, wanting to share as much as he could with him.

When they finally got to the apartment and got inside, Blaine took a minute and just looked around. He had almost forgotten what it looked like, he had been so focused on getting Sere and Bryce out of there, he really hadn’t paid that much attention, they had been the only thing there that had been important to Blaine, now though, knowing that this was his sister’s apartment, her things, he wanted to take more time. Blaine let Sere out of her stroller, and sat her down on the floor, and walked to her old room.

“Is there anything you want me to do to help?” Kurt asked, walking up to Blaine, rubbing his hand up and down Blaine’s back. Kurt could only imagine what Blaine must be feeling right now.

“I’m not even really sure what to do with all this, to be honest. I know I want to take a lot of Sere’s stuff with me, and I need to make sure there aren’t any important papers that were left behind and go through her pictures, but other than that, I’m not really sure,” Blaine said at a loss. He had known this would be hard, but he didn’t know how hard. Sure Blaine had never met her, but she had still been his sister and Sere’s mom.

“Let’s do this. Let’s go get some boxes. We can set one up for things you know you want to keep, one for things you know you don’t and then one for maybe. That way, most of the stuff will only have to be handled once, and maybe it won’t be as overwhelming for you that way too,” Kurt said, looking at Blaine.

“Thank you, have I told you yet today, just how much I love you,” Blaine said, walking up to Kurt, wrapping his arms around him, holding him tight.

“I never get tired of hearing it,” Kurt said, placing a kiss on Blaine’s cheek before wrapping his arms around him.

They left the apartment long enough to go find boxes and set them up the way Kurt had suggested. Blaine didn’t worry about packing anything in the kitchen. Bryce had paid a company to come in and get rid of any food that might have been left behind before he had died. Blaine decided all the dishes, would be given to whoever opted to purchase the apartment, and they could do with them what they wanted to.

Blaine put Sere in her portable crib, he had thought to bring with them. She had fallen asleep while they were in the taxi on their way back from getting the boxes and tape. He started in Sere’s room first. He knew most of the things he would want to keep would be in there. Blaine and Kurt carried three boxes in, and Blaine started going through everything. The first thing that went in the keep box was the quilt that had been in Sere’s crib. It was beautiful, and Blaine was thinking about putting it on Sere’s crib at home. That way, she would have something in her room that had been picked out for her by her mom.

Blaine next went through Sere’s closet, putting all the clothes hanging up, in the box that he would not be keeping, those he would donate. The only thing from the closet that made it into the keep box had been the outfit Sere had been wearing in the picture he had at home. The picture had been with Shey holding Sere, not long after Sere had been born. Next, Blaine went through her little dresser. Everything in there, went in the box he would be donating. He wished he could keep it all, send it all home, it was stuff that Shey had picked out for her little girl, but he knew that wasn’t practical. Blaine hated that Sere would never get to know her mom, who, judging by everything he saw, really loved her little girl.

When Blaine had everything out of the closet and dresser, he moved to the little bookcase that was in the corner of Sere’s room. On top, there was a little book, that from the look of it had been read more than any of the others, like it had meant a lot to Shey. She had wanted to share that book with her baby girl. That book had apparently meant a lot to Shey, so Blaine would make sure he read it to Sere so that it would become important to her as well. What Blaine found next broke his heart. On the first shelf was Sere’s baby book. Looking through the pages, Blaine saw that Shey had journaled every moment of her life from the time she found out she was pregnant through the day before the car crash that had taken her life. That was what Blaine had hoped to find. Something he could show his daughter to let her know just how much she had been loved. 

Blaine folded the boxes closed, marking them as to whether they would be going with him or left to be donated, before making his way next into Shey’s room. This one was easier. Everything went into the donate box except the paperwork he found. That he would be taking to his dad to be looked over. Blaine wanted to make sure nothing important was thrown away. The only thing from Shey's room Blaine decided to keep except the papers was a silk scarf that Shey had left hanging on her dresser mirror. Blaine neatly folded it and put it on top of the box of things that would be going home with him, once again wanting to save it for Sere. Blaine looked around thinking, the last time his sister had been in this room, the last time she walked out, she would have had every intention of coming back, it hit Blaine how your life could change in an instant. One moment, his little girl had had a mother that, from all signs, had loved her daughter very much, to her next just being gone.

When they were done in Shey’s room, they went to the only room Blaine hadn’t entered the last time he was there. Blaine had concentrated then on Sere’s room, getting the things they would need for her until he and Bryce could buy what she might need. He had gone through Shey’s room only to get the documentation she had talked about in the letter she had left behind for Bryce. Opening the door for the first time, Blaine was reminded of who his sister had really been. Around the room, inside a curio cabinet, and on every inch of shelves in the room was all the awards she had earned in her lifetime of acting. She had Emmys, Tonys, People’s Choice awards, and one he didn’t know about, on the top of her curio cabinet sat her one and only Oscar award.

“Shit Blaine,” Kurt said behind him. “What are you going to do with these,” Kurt said, walking around looking at all the awards in the room.

“I have no idea. With Bryce, getting rid of his stuff was easy, I have no idea what to do with all of this. Hang on a minute,” Blaine said, pulling out his phone and calling his dad.

“Hey dad, I have a situation here,” Blaine said when his dad answered his phone.

“What’s up?” Michael asked, a little concerned by the tone of Blaine’s voice.

“Dad, I am at Shey’s apartment, cleaning it out, and she has a room that has nothing but awards in there. I don’t know what to do with them.” Blaine answered his dad.

“When you say full, what do you mean?” Michael questioned.

“Hang on a Sec dad. I am going to facetime you real quick,” Blaine took his camera and panned it around the room, making sure he showed his dad everything in there.

“Ok, son, I have no idea what to tell you to do with those,” Michael said in complete shock. When he had found out that Shey was Sere’s mom, and that she had been an actress before she died, Michael had checked out her history. He had been aware of some of her awards, but had no clue she had that many. “Have you hired a shipping company yet?”

“No, because I really didn’t know if it would be needed,” Blaine answered his dad

“I’ll get someone hired and they’ll be there tomorrow. They can get all that packed up, and we can figure out what to do with it all later,” Michael said, he knew he hadn’t been able to watch his little girl grow up, but he still loved her and wanted something that was her’s.

“Ok, we’ll save this room for later then,” Blaine said, glad his dad would be handling that room because he had no clue.

“Well, I guess that just leaves the living room, then,” Blaine said after hanging up with his dad, and turning to look at Kurt. He honestly doesn’t know how he would have handled all this without Kurt. He doesnt think he could have gotten through today without him.

Blaine made quick work of the living room, the only thing in there really besides nik-naks which would be staying in the apartment, was her picture albums. Blaine went into the kitchen, grabbed the trash can, and started throwing pictures away of people he didn’t know. The only pictures he kept were the ones of Shey or Sere, and one he knew his dad would want. In the picture was a very young MIchael with a little girl who might have been two, sitting on his lap. Looking at the picture, without having to even ask, Blaine knew it was Shey. With everything she had gone through, she had saved the one picture she had of her dad. A dad she never even got to know.

When Sere woke up and started to fuss, Blaine realized how long they had been there. “Are you ready to get out of here for tonight? I don’t think there is anything else we can do until the shipping company comes tomorrow, and I met with the real estate agent my dad has been talking to.”

“Yeah, I think it is time to grab something to eat,” Kurt said and could only laugh when his stomach growled.

“I think both of you might be right,” Blaine said, laughing before pulling Kurt into a hug.

Blaine called a taxi to take them back to the hotel. He wanted to drop off the portable crib and paperwork he had taken with him to the apartment and what he had found today at Shey’s. Blaine had hoped they would be done with the packing today. He had wanted them to be able to spend their last two days in London playing tourist again. Instead, tomorrow Blaine would be meeting with the real estate person who would be selling Shey’s apartment for him. Blaine would then need to meet with Shey’s lawyer, so he could drop off the paperwork Michael had sent with him, and now he would also need to wait on the packing company Michael was going to hire to pack up Shey’s awards.

When they got back to their room, Blaine changed Sere, rubbed some more Oragel on her gums, and gave her another dose of baby Tylenol. She was starting to get a little fussy, which could either be from hunger or her mouth was starting to hurt again. He didn’t want to take the chance that it was the later when he had something that would make her feel better.

“Do you have anything, in particular, you would be interested in for dinner?” Blaine asked Kurt, walking up to him, wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug.

“Not really, you know what would probably sound crazy to you?” Kurt asked looking at Blaine

“Ok, now I am interested, what would sound crazy to me?” Blaine asked, leaning back a little so he could look at Kurt.

“Breadstix,” Kurt said with a laugh which had Blaine laughing too.

“Sweetheart, we are in the wrong country for that,” Blaine said, continuing to laugh, leaning in and kissing Kurt. Oh, how he loved that man.

“I know that silly. I just meant something along that line,” Kurt said, kissing Blaine back.

“So, cheap Italian, huh, let’s see what we can come up with,” Blaine said with a smile before putting Sere in her stroller, and then grabbing Kurt’s hand, and walking out the door.

They found a little Italian restaurant just up the street from their hotel. They both fell in love. It had the same vibe of Breadstix, reminding them of their date nights, back when they were still in high school. Back when things were still so new, before they had both made mistakes that ended them.

Kurt sat in silence for a few minutes, watching his wine as he swirled it around in his glass, before looking up into Blaine’s eyes that held so many questions, and a hint of nervousness. “Have you ever regretted us? Our meeting I mean? Kurt asked the question he had wanted to ask for a while.

“I regret a lot of things Kurt, but meeting you, falling in love with you has never been one of them,” Blaine said looking at Kurt

“What _do_ you regret?” Kurt asked, looking at Blaine

“My biggest regret is cheating on you. I regret not manning up, getting on a plane, flying to New York and making you talk to me before I did the stupidest thing I could have ever done and cheated. I regret that I only got on that plane when it was already too late to change anything. I regret so much hurting you, destroying your trust in me, destroying us. I regret saying no when you asked me to get back with you after we kissed at Rachel’s party. I regret Bryce to a certain extent. I can't regret everything with him because I wouldn’t have Sere in my life. But meeting you, Kurt, that is one thing I will never be able to regret,” Blaine said with a tear rolling down his cheek, reaching out to grab Kurt’s hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“What about you, do you regret us, our meeting?” Blaine asked, needing to hear Kurt say yes or no.

“Never, I too have some regrets, but not about you, or us. I regret that I got so busy trying to build a career, that I forgot to take care of us, or our relationship. I regret that when you came to New York, I didn’t really give you a chance to talk, or for me to listen. I regret when I went back to McKinley to see Grease, that I wouldn’t give you a second when all you wanted to do was explain, and I didn’t give you the time to do so. But my biggest regret is breaking up with you, breaking our engagement, breaking your heart. That will be a regret I will live with for the rest of my life, but us, no, that is something I could never regret,” Kurt said, squeezing Blaine’s hand back.

They had both made mistakes and hurt each other in the past. They both had battle scars. Hopefully, with time and patients, they can heal, they can get back to where they were, but this time around, better than ever.


	24. Finishing Up

A/N: Thanks as always to my beta JayHawkWrites. Darn those stupid comma’s lol.

oOoOo

Blaine was awake before Kurt and Sere, the next morning, it had been a rough night for all of them. Sere had been restless, not really sleeping comfortably until after 2 am. Blaine lay there as long as he could before finally giving up and crawling out of bed and grabbing the clothes he would be wearing today. He stopped long enough to make sure Sere was still asleep before making his way to the bathroom, shutting the door, and stripping off his pajamas. He turned the water on as hot as he could stand it and then stepped under the spray, enjoying it as the hot water helped loosen his tired, sore muscles.

Blaine was hopeful today would go quicker than yesterday. The biggest part of the packing was complete. The only thing they had to worry about today was getting all the awards from Shey’s spare room sorted out, and the moving company would thankfully be taking care of that. Blaine had a few more pictures he wanted to take. Kurt had taken a lot for the story he would be doing for Vogue, but Blaine wanted a few more, especially in Sere’s old room. When he got home, well, to the New York apartment, he was going to try to match the paint color from her room here and repaint her new room the same color. It just seemed so peaceful, and that was another way he could keep Shey's memory alive for Sere.

After getting dressed, Blaine fixed his hair, picked up his dirty pajamas, and quietly made his way out of the restroom, not wanting to wake Kurt and Sere up before they needed to be. Last night had been rough on Kurt as well. Every time Sere cried, Kurt was awake and right by Blaine’s side, offering his support, holding Sere when she seemed to want anyone but Blaine. Kurt had even beaten Blaine awake once. He had heard Sere crying, rolled over to an empty bed, and the first thing he had seen was Kurt holding Sere, pacing the floor, whispering to her, trying to quiet her down so that Blaine could sleep. This was something he could definitely get used to, having someone else show love and concern for his little girl, and also himself.

When Blaine and Kurt had talked about getting married, and eventually having children together, Blaine had always known that Kurt would be an amazing dad, but seeing him like that, taking care of a child that wasn’t even his, made him realize how right he had been. Kurt would have been an amazing dad for their children. _If only…_ Blaine thought with a sigh, once again regretting so much from their past and the paths they had both chosen to take.

Blaine carried his pajamas and put them in the bag he had been using for his dirty clothes. After looking at the time, he picked up the house phone and ordered breakfast and coffee from room service. They didn’t have anything pressing that they needed to do this morning until around eleven when he was supposed to meet the moving company at Shey’s apartment. When they were done with that, the only thing that was left to do was to go by Shey’s lawyer’s office, drop off the papers he had brought with him, and then sign a few more to have the apartment put on the market. Blaine was just hoping that they could spend their last day in London tomorrow doing nothing but playing tourists. There was still so much he wanted to share with Kurt, so much he wanted him to see.

“I miss your bow ties sometimes,” Blaine heard Kurt say from the bed in his just woken up gravely voice that Blaine had always thought was sexy as hell.

“No, you don’t,” Blaine said with a soft laugh, making his way over to the bed and curling up next to Kurt, pulling him into his arms.

“Yes, I do. I always loved trying to guess which one you were going to wear next,” Kurt said with a grin wrapping his arms around Blaine, snuggling into his side, “It was the blazer I always hated.”

“Kurt, we've been through this. You loved the blazer,” Blaine said, laughing.

“No, Blaine, I loved you _out _of the blazer,” Kurt said, raising his eyebrows up and down suggestively.

“Oh really?” Blaine said in a husky voice.

“Of course, that’s not the only thing I loved you out of,” Kurt said softly, pulling Blaine to him, kissing him thoroughly, morning breath be damned. Kurt had just managed to get Blaine’s shirt off and his pants undone when there was a soft knock on the door.

“Shit,” Blaine said, pulling away and standing up, trying to get his clothes back in order. “I thought I was being smart by ordering from room service this morning so we wouldn’t be in a hurry today. Remind me never to try to think before coffee again.”

Kurt sat up in the bed and could only smile, watching as Blaine made his way to the door with a pronounced bulge in his pants. He loved that he could still do that with just a kiss. He and Blaine had always been so in tune with each other. It was good to see that not everything had changed.

“We always have tonight,” Kurt said before standing up.

“Yeah tonight,” Blaine said with a sigh, standing back and letting the hotel staff bring the trays of food and coffee into the room. Once again, Blaine can’t regret having Sere in his life, but he does miss the times when, if he wanted Kurt or Kurt wanted him, they could just make love any time they wanted. Now, it was almost like it had to be planned.

“Have you gotten in touch with Isabelle to see when she expects your story from here, or is she just going to wait and do one story with everything we find?” Blaine asked, joining Kurt at the table. He decided he would wait until Sere woke up on her own to feed her, letting her sleep a little longer.

“She didn’t say one way or the other, but after breakfast, I guess I can pull the pictures off of the camera and send them to her and ask that. Before I do though, I’d like you to look through the ones I took, that way you can decide if any of them need to stay private. I know I agreed to take pictures of everything we find, but I also don’t want to put too much of your personal stuff out there,” Kurt answered, taking his first sip of coffee, closing his eyes.

“Thank you,” Blaine said, leaning in to place a kiss on Kurt’s cheek.

“No problem,” Kurt said with a smile. “So how long do you think it will be before little miss over there wakes up?”

“I’m not even sure. We’ve never had a night like last night before, not even when she’s been sick. I’m sorry she kept disturbing you,” Blaine said, looking down at his coffee, wondering if Kurt would soon realize what life was really like with a baby and decide it was too much trouble.

“Hey, there’s nothing to be sorry about. She couldn’t help it. I can’t even imagine how much pain that must cause. The only thing I can think of that could possibly come close would be when my wisdom teeth started bothering me in my junior year, and if you remember, I cried like a baby. I could talk it out, say why I was hurting, and still cried on your shoulder. The only thing she can do is cry and that breaks my heart. I can only imagine what that does to you,” Kurt said, reaching out to squeeze Blaine’s hand.

Blaine turned his hand over so he could hold Kurt’s wandering for the hundredth time since they reconnected how he had gotten so lucky to have this wonderful man back into his life. “I remember that. I also remember how you were right after you woke up from anesthesia.” Blaine couldn’t keep the grin off his face remembering.

“No, no, none of that. I still can’t believe you recorded that. But let's make this clear _again_. Just like ‘He Who Must Not Be Named’ in your Harry Potter books, consider that whole thing forever as ‘That Which Must Not Be Said,’” Kurt said with a laugh, then put his hand over his mouth when he realized how loud he had been. They both looked over at Sere and saw she’d slept through it.

“But my love, you were so cute talking about what you would love to do to Marc Jacobs. How you didn’t care that he was as old as the hills, you’d still ‘_do’_ him. But you then went on to say that he was the only one you would _ever_ _do_, besides me, of course, so that made it ok,” Blaine smiled, remembering everything Kurt had gone on and on about that day. Then he realized they had done a lot of talking about what he had done during their year apart, but they had yet to really discuss what Kurt had done.

Blaine looked up at Kurt, knowing that he didn’t have a right to ask. He cared, of course, he did, but he felt like it wasn’t any of his business to ask or know. They had been broken up, and he had slept with Bryce after all, but the thought of Kurt, _his_ Kurt, allowing someone else other than Blaine to touch him, make love to him, tore Blaine apart. He knew he had no right to feel that way, but suddenly he couldn’t get the images of Kurt with someone else out of his mind. Blane slowly released Kurt’s hand, stood up, and walked over to the window and looked out at the city.

Kurt slowly walked over behind Blaine, wrapping his arms around his waist. “Hey, what’s wrong? You got really quiet. Talk to me, Blaine. That whole agreement we made goes both ways, you know. If something’s bothering you, we need to talk about it before it builds into some big thing.”

“I’m sorry. I really have no right to even think about it,” Blaine said, turning in Kurt’s arms so that they were facing each other.

“Think about what?” Kurt asked, wondering what was going through Blaine’s mind. Everything had been fine no more than two minutes ago.

“It just sort of hit me. I’ve told you everything about what I’ve done in the year we were apart, but you haven’t said anything. I just started wondering, did you date someone else? Were you in another relationship? I know when we got back together, you weren’t seeing anyone, but it made me wonder if you had before. I know it’s selfish after everything that I’ve done, but the thought of you being with someone else hurts. I guess I want to know if you had a boyfriend while we were apart?” Blaine asked, closing his eyes. Wanting an answer and not at the same time.

“Oh, that… I guess we haven’t talked about it, have we?” Kurt said, stepping out of Blaine’s arms and turning around, facing the room, running his hands through his hair. “Blaine, when you told me no, that you wouldn’t get back with me after we had made love...hearing you say that it had been a mistake...I was hurt and mad and confused. I never thought it could _ever_ be a mistake for us to make love. I decided I needed to try to get over you. I had been home for almost two weeks when I heard about this speed dating event hosted by NYADA. I didn’t have any intentions of going, but Rachel wouldn’t shut up until I agreed to go. You know how she can get sometimes. I met this guy named Jared. He was sweet and kind, and we got along really well. We started dating.” Kurt took a moment to collect his thoughts, wanting to tell Blaine everything and trying to be as gentle about it as he possibly could.

“Jared was someone I could talk to, who listened to me with no judgment. It was never the same as it was with you and me, but it was comfortable. The night I heard you got married, to be honest, was the first night I ever let him touch me. We had kissed, but nothing more than that. I cried the whole time. You were supposed to be the only man to touch me like that. I felt cheap and dirty. Not because of something he did, but the whole time we were having sex, I just kept thinking about you. If I closed my eyes, I could remember our times together. I could hear your voice whispering in my ear, and I could almost believe it was you,” Kurt’s voice broke as tears ran down his face, he slowly turned around to face Blaine.

“After that night, I came up with one excuse after another why we couldn’t do it again. It had felt so wrong the whole time. We only went out about a month after that. We had some intense makeout sessions, a few lousy blowjobs, and then we were breaking up. He could tell I wasn’t really into him and had known it since the night we slept together. The funny, or not so funny part was when we said goodbye, he said ‘_good luck with the one who got away_,’ almost like he had known I was thinking about you the whole time. After that, I didn’t try anymore. I guess you will never be able to look at me the same, will you?” Kurt asked, tears still running down his face.

Blaine reached out, pulling Kurt to him, holding him tight. Blaine placed soft kisses on the top of his head as they both cried. Crying for decisions they had made, things they had done that couldn’t be undone, the pain they had inflicted on each other as well as themselves. Blaine took a deep breath before he took a step back, still keeping Kurt close. He slowly raised his hands and framed Kurt’s face, and placed a soft kiss on his lips, and then looked down into Kurt's beautiful eyes.

"Sweetheart, have you, knowing I was with Bryce, changed the way you look at me?” Blaine asked but not giving Kurt a chance to talk just yet. “You had every right to try to move on and find someone new. Was I selfishly hoping you hadn’t? Yes. But I could never, nor will I ever hold that against you. We weren't together. You were free to do as you saw fit. If you think about it, I had closed the door on us the day I married someone else. You didn’t know if I would ever be free to be with you again,” Blaine said, kissing Kurt one more time.

“I know, but to me, you were always it. You’ve always been the only person I ever thought I would be with that way. I know you once said I was your person, but you have to remember you were my person as well,” Kurt said with a watery smile.

“I know sweetheart, I know. We’ve both done things that if possible, we would undo. But that’s part of growing up. As you said, our last night together in New York we were just kids. I know that hurt me when you said it at the time, but it was true. You had been my only boyfriend and I had been yours. We needed our time apart, to learn what we were together. Do I wish we could have learned that any other way? Hell yes, but it was still a step we had to take, a lesson we both had to learn. We had to break ourselves apart to rebuild ourselves stronger than ever. Did we get a few extra parts in the process? Yes. I still feel like we’re better than we ever were,” Blaine whispered softly, kissing Kurt one more time.

“You make it sound so easy,” Kurt said with a slight smile.

“Not easy. I know we’re both going to have to work at it. But we are so worth the work. We’re good together and always have been, minus a few hiccups we’ve had along the way,” Blaine said, smiling back.

“Definitely worth it,” Kurt said, pulling Blaine into a hug.

“Can I make a suggestion without hurting your feelings?” Blaine asks, stepping back a little, but keeping his arms around Kurt’s waist.

“What?” Kurt asks, getting a little nervous again.

“When we get back to New York, I think we should both go and get tested. I always wore a condom with Bryce when we had sex, but I gave him blowjobs without one. Knowing what I know now about him, it probably wouldn’t be a bad idea. And since you probably didn’t wear one with Jared if you gave him a blowjob, even though I doubt that was one of the lousy blowjobs you mentioned, it probably wouldn’t hurt for you to as well,” Blaine said and then laughed at his next thought, remembering when they had been tested together before.

“We could always do it together, make it a boys day as Artie called it, minus the whole ‘all-boys abstinence club’ thing. No matter how great Sam thought it would be at the time, I still say no, not a good idea,” Blaine said, trying to make Kurt smile again. The first thing he sees though is what had been the beginnings of a smile slowly slip off Kurt’s face.

“That day, when I threw the whole Eli C. thing up in your face, why didn’t you say something then? You knew there was no way you could have caught anything from him, and yet you went through that testing for nothing. Why?” Kurt asked the thought just hitting him.

“Kurt, I did it because I didn’t have a problem with it. You and I had always had unprotected sex. Sure, we had both been virgins the first time, but still... We didn’t start wearing condoms until after we got back together, remember. There was no harm in getting tested, no harm in protecting ourselves,” Blaine answered.

“Yeah, I remember. I remember all too well the first time we had sex after we got tested, even knowing that you were clean, I still pulled that box of condoms out and forced you to wear one. I remember the way you looked at me, how hurt you looked, but you did it anyway. Even though I said I forgave you, I was still holding it against you,” Kurt said, slowly shaking his head. If only he had taken the time to listen.

“Kurt, I would have done anything for you. If me wearing a condom when we made love made you feel more comfortable, then I was fine with it. I was fine with anything as long as I got to hold you, love you again. It was my fault that you felt the need for me to wear one, to begin with,” Blaine said, placing a soft kiss on Kurt’s lips.

“It was still wrong, though, Blaine. I used them as another way to punish you, to strike back at you for something I kept saying I forgave you for,” Kurt said, no longer able to look Blaine in the eyes, realizing something that had been right in front of him the whole time. He had purposely done things to hurt Blaine, not just because he was afraid of getting married young, but also because he had still been angry that _his_ Blaine had cheated on him.

“Kurt, it’s ok. Chalk it up to the whole growing up thing. That’s all in the past, let’s leave it there. Let’s work on the now and on our future,” Blaine said, pulling Kurt back to him.

“So, you still feel we have a future?” Kurt asked, hopeful again.

“I hope so, Kurt. I can’t live my life without you in it. What the future holds for us is yet to be seen, but I’m looking forward to it. I’m looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you, if that will work for you,” Blaine said, kissing Kurt on the forehead, and stepping back as he heard Sere start to fuss.

“That definitely works for me,” Kurt said, smiling and happy again. “And I guess getting tested wouldn’t be a bad thing, and maybe we can splurge and get one of the frozen hot chocolates you loved so much from Gino’s.”

“And then jog home, of course,” Blaine said laughing. Glad that they could get back to a happy place.

“Most definitely. Ok, I’m going to go and shower. I love you, Blaine,” Kurt whispered, happy again.

“I love you too,” Blaine said and saying those words never got old.

While Kurt took his shower and got ready for his day, Blaine fed and dressed Sere, glad to see she was feeling better this morning. He gave her some more baby Tylenol to play it safe and then sat her in the high chair and gave her her breakfast, laughing as she babbled the whole time. She was dying to talk, and Blaine was dying to hear what she would come up with. When Kurt was ready they walked toward the elevator hand in hand, ready to get this day finished.

When they got to the apartment, Blaine took a close up picture of the paint in Sere’s room, and then one of the border Shey had hung up. It matched the quilt that had been in Sere’s crib, and Blaine was hoping to either find more like it for her new room or see about having it recreated. He stood back as Kurt walked around, taking even more pictures of how the apartment looked now that most of the packing was completed. 

While Blaine worked with the movers to pack and ship Shey’s awards and a few other things, Kurt went into the kitchen, deciding to do a sweep of the room to make sure there was nothing in there that Blaine might decide he wanted. Kurt knew all the dishes and pans were going to be left for the new owners but just wanted to double-check since Blaine hadn’t looked through it yet. Kurt made his way around the kitchen, opening up one cabinet after the next. In the last door, Kurt opened, he found two little white boxes, a small photo album, and several bottles that Shey would have used for Sere. Opening up the photo album first, Kurt was glad he had taken his time to come into the kitchen. He didn’t know why Shey had kept this album separate from the others, but looking at the cover, he could tell that she had looked through it a lot.

“Hey, Blaine, can you come in here a minute?” Kurt knew this was something that Blaine needed to see.

“What’s up?” Blaine asked as he walked into the kitchen, still looking over the shipping forms the movers had handed him.

“I thought you might want to look at this. I don’t know why, but I decided to check out the kitchen before we left, and now I’m glad I did,” Kurt said, handing the album to Blaine. He had quickly flipped through it until he realized what it was, and realized that it was Blaine’s place to have the first look at the album's content.

Blaine opened the album, and the very first picture he saw was one of a very young-looking Shey and Bryce, arms around each other and smiles across their faces. They had looked so happy, and judging by their age, this picture had probably been taken after they had first started dating at seventeen. Blaine smiled, looking at the two of them. They had seemed to be so in love. It was sad that both of their lives had ended so young.

The next few pictures were of this apartment from when Shey first moved in. She took pictures as she added each new thing. There were a few selfies of Shey as she painted Sere’s room and a few of her putting together Sere’s baby bed. Blaine could only smile as he looked at the picture. She had put it together herself, and the smile on her face showed just how happy she was to do it.

The next two pictures had tears streaming down Blaine’s cheeks. One was of Shey’s ultrasound, and the next was of her holding up the ultrasound picture in front of her rounded stomach, with the most beautiful smile on her face. Directly below the picture, Shey had written ‘my sweet little girl. Mommy loves you already and can hardly wait for you to get here.’

“This must have been when she found out she was having a little girl,” Blaine said, looking at Kurt with a smile. “Look how big she was.”

Blaine continued to look through the rest of the pictures of Shey as she grew bigger in each picture that had been taken until he got to the picture of Shey holding Sere in her arms. She had had the biggest smile on her face, but Blaine noticed right away there was not another person in the room with her other than the nurses and Sere. On what should have been the happiest day of her life, Shey had been alone. No one had been there to share in her joy of having that sweet little girl finally in her arms. The final picture in the book was of a newborn Sere spending her first night in her crib.

“Thank you, Kurt, for taking the time to look in here, for finding this. Just think, I would have missed this, and what a waste that would have been,” Blaine said, hugging Kurt.

“I found these too. I haven’t had a chance to look at them yet,” Kurt said, pointing to the two boxes.

Blaine picked up the bigger of the two, opened it up, and pulled out a baby plate that Shey had apparently gotten for Sere to use when she was older. Turning the plate over, Blaine saw where Shey had had Sere’s name and date of birth engraved on the bottom in gold. On the top, gold had also been painted around the outside edge of the little plate, but what had a tear running down Blaine’s cheeks was what was on the front of the plate itself. A little ballerina had been painted in the very center, and a poem had been written around it.

_I loved you from the very start,_

_You stole my breath, embraced my heart._

_Our life together has just begun_

_You're part of me, my little one._

_As mother with child, each day I grew,_

_My mind was filled with thoughts of you._

It was beautiful, and something Blaine would always cherish and hold on to for Sere. He opened up the second box and smiled. In this box was a sippy cup with the same little ballerina and Sere’s name. Blaine slid both back in their boxes and then carried them over to the diaper bag, slipping them inside. Those two precious items would not be entrusted with the movers. They would stay with him.

While Blaine went back to work with the movers, Kurt continued to look around, making sure there was nothing else that might potentially be left behind. Trying, like Blaine, to save any memories he could for that sweet little girl. She had already lost so much and it would be years before she understood. Sere would never again be held by the mother that loved her. The only thing she would ever have would be pictures. Kurt stood there almost in tears, thinking that she would never get to know her mother. Yes, Kurt has lost his mom as well, but he had been eight, and still had very fond memories of Elizabeth Hummel. Poor Sere would never be given that chance.

When the movers were done, and all the boxes had been loaded in their truck, Blaine and Kurt made a final sweep of the apartment, making sure nothing was being left behind. With a sad smile, Blaine pushed Sere’s stroller to the door, turned around, and took one more look before turning off the lights and closing the door.

A/N: The author of the poem located on Sere’s plate is unknown. I would love to be able to give credit where credit is due.


End file.
